Lola’s suspicious look transformed into a sugary smile.
“Aw, thanks, Linky! I have been working extra hard lately. Coordinating pageant attire for six different dolls is no easy task.”
Lynn jumped up and punched the air a few times.
“What are we standing around here for? Let’s grab those passes before someone else beats us to them. Dairyland! Dairyland!” she chanted. The rest of my sisters joined in, chanting as they headed for the front door.
I flashed a thumbs-up to Clyde, who was peeking out of the dining room—my plan had worked! He ducked as Lori ran back past him.
“Just one sec, I gotta grab my keys!” she said, dashing up the stairs. Leni ran after her.
“Ooh, and I have to change into a Dairyland-themed outfit!” Leni cried.
“Ugh, and I gotta change this rancid diaper,” Luna added. In typical Loud family fashion, everyone seemed to have something to take care of before leaving the house. I stood by the front door, trying to be patient, until finally, the last of my sisters filed outside.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come, Lincoln?” asked Leni, now wearing a black- and-white cow-print skirt and little milkshake earrings.
“Nope. Those passes are all yours!” I grinned. Then I closed the door and turned to Clyde.
“And this house is all ours!” I cried. It was time for the real ghost hunt to begin.
Clyde and I headed for the basement again, restarting our sweep of the house. I couldn’t get over how quiet it was. Even at night, I’d never heard my house this silent. The kitchen floor creaked as we tiptoed across it. The sound echoed through the empty house, giving me chills. I turned on the video camera.
“We should probably keep the camera rolling. In conditions like these, we need to be prepared for a spirit to make its presence known at any time,” I said, thinking back to our ARGGH! ghost-hunting protocol.
I reached for the basement door, preparing to descend. Just then, we heard a faint, strange noise—but it wasn’t coming from downstairs. It sounded much closer. Clyde and I strained our ears, listening to the odd scraping and squelching. It seemed to be coming from the living room. I waved for Clyde to follow me.
We crept through the dining room, then across the foyer and into the darkened living room. The noise was much louder in here. It was coming from the chimney.
Clyde grabbed me by the arm and started pantomiming a chimney sweep’s dance. I grinned and nodded. We crept up to the fireplace and peered inside it.
A sliver of moonlight filtered down through the chimney, illuminating the brick walls. But even though we could still hear the odd sounds, there was nothing there.
“What the heck?” I whispered to Clyde as I took out my EMF detector. The needle was hovering between the two highest levels. I showed Clyde. Something paranormal was definitely afoot. Clyde held up a hand.
“Wait a minute. … The sounds are moving,” he whispered, pointing upward. Clyde was right. Whatever—or whoever—was inside the chimney was headed upstairs.
“Come on, let’s go!” I whispered back. We made a beeline for the staircase. Whatever these spirits were, I didn’t want to lose track of them. What if they shook us off on the second floor?
Upstairs in the hallway, we heard a loud rattle coming from the attic. The pull cord on the trapdoor danced and shook, almost as if it were calling to us. As we crept closer, the EMF reader went nuts, the needle straining past the highest level. I showed Clyde, whose eyes widened. We were about to find ourselves an actual, live—well, technically not live—ghost. The rattling grew louder as I reached for the trembling pull cord.
“You ready to do this, Cadet Clyde? For real this time?” I asked. Clyde nodded, looking nervous but determined.
“Lead the way, Cadet Lincoln,” he said, hoisting the video camera onto his shoulder.
My heart pounding, I pulled down the attic stairs and began to climb.
The attic was dark, but I could just make out a strange shape moving in the back corner. As my eyes adjusted, I realized the old dress-up trunk was rattling. There was something inside it. My stomach twisted into knots, but this was no time for an ARGGH! cadet to hesitate. I mustered my courage and yelled.
“Spirits, show yourselves!”
The trunk stopped rattling. I glanced back at Clyde, who was filming every second.
“Come on, let’s go investigate,” I said, taking a step toward the trunk. But just as I did, a stream of cold air rippled across the back of my neck. I jumped. So did Clyde.
“Whoa, did you feel that?” he said, clutching his neck.
“The spirits are on the move!” I exclaimed, looking wildly around the darkened attic. There was a loud creak behind us. I turned and couldn’t believe my eyes. A massive old wooden wardrobe was rising slowly off the ground. It loomed over Clyde and me, creaking and swaying ominously.
“Whoever you are, state your business!” I shouted, trying to sound braver than I felt. SLAM! The wardrobe crashed to the floor. The doors fell open, and something came floating out. Clyde and I gasped. We dashed forward to get a better look at the …
“Party balloons?” Clyde asked, confused, as we stared at the brightly colored decorations floating up to the ceiling. Before I could reply, music began to play. I looked around for the source, but it wasn’t coming from a radio or a stereo. In fact, it didn’t sound like any music I’d ever heard before—it was an eerie, otherworldly tune that was actually kind of catchy. The attic lights began flickering to the beat; then the wardrobe rose back off the floor, dancing and swaying along to the music. Behind us, the trunk joined in, rattling and spitting out scarves and boas in time with the music. My fear evaporated as I realized what the spirits were up to. I turned to Clyde, who was spinning around with the video camera, trying to capture everything.
“I think these spirits are here to party,” I said.
Clyde grinned. “Hey, we should give them an intro, like Hunter does on ARGGH!,” he said, flipping the camera around.
I nervously flattened down my cowlick and tried to channel Hunter’s screen presence. No pressure.
“Hey, ARGGH! fans. Cadets Lincoln Loud and Clyde McBride here! We’re in an attic in Royal Woods, Michigan, with … uh …”
“Well, we don’t know what kind of spirits these are, but they know how to have a good time!” Clyde finished. As if in response, the music got louder and the wardrobe flapped its doors open and shut. Clyde turned the camera back around to get a close-up of it.
“Wait till Hunter sees this! Actually, wait till everyone sees this—on TV! You guys are going to be famous!” Clyde called out to the spirits. The lights flickered happily in response.
As I watched, awestruck, I couldn’t help wondering who these spirits were. Had they always lived in my house and just never shown themselves before? They seemed so happy and good-natured. Had they been wanting to hang out this whole time?
I was about to ask when everything went quiet. The music fizzled out, the lights stopped flickering, the wardrobe returned to the floor, and the trunk stopped rattling.
“Wait, come back!” I shouted. But there was no response. Clyde looked at me, perplexed.
“What do you think made them leave so quickly?” he asked.
Without warning, the front door to the house slammed. My sisters were back, their shouts filling the once-silent house.
“Of course.” I sighed. Then I called out to the spirits again, hoping they could still hear me, even if they weren’t going to show themselves. “Don’t worry, guys, I get it. I can’t blame you for wanting to hit the road now that my sisters are back. But don’t feel like you have to. You should stick around—this is your house, too!”
Clyde and I headed for the attic stairs, amazed by what we’d just experienced.
“I’m not sure I’d believe it myself, if we didn’t have it all on video,” Clyde said. “Do you think we should add some title cards, like how they do it on ARGGH!? Or should we just send in the raw fo
otage? This video’s so good, it doesn’t need any bells and whistles.”
I was just as eager to send in our video, but I told Clyde that there was something I had to deal with first: the ten girls downstairs who’d just found out there were no free passes to Dairyland.
“Need backup?” he asked.
“I appreciate the offer, but you shouldn’t risk it. If they turn me into a human pretzel, someone still has to make sure the video gets to ARGGH!”
Clyde nodded solemnly, then made a swift exit out the back door. I took a deep breath and headed to the living room to face my siblings. I know I said that ten angry sisters are nothing I can’t handle, but the prospect was starting to look a whole lot scarier than an attic full of ghosts.
I put on my most apologetic face. “Guys, I’m such an idiot. I mixed up the dates for the Dairyland giveaway! And then I couldn’t find my phone to call you and—”
I stopped in my tracks, confused. To my shock, my sisters didn’t look upset. In fact, they looked pleased. Lynn slugged me in the arm.
“Doesn’t matter! Flip didn’t know anything about Dairyland passes—but he was giving away free samples of his new Flippee flavor. Caramel apple!” she said, crushing an empty Flippee cup against her forehead.
“Highly recommend it,” Lana said, letting out a loud belch.
“We would’ve gotten you one, too, Linky, but they were for in-store customers only,” Lola added sweetly. I fought back a grin, trying to look disappointed.
“Aw, man,” I groaned. “Well, I’m glad you guys got something out of the trip, anyway.”
Just then, Mom and Dad returned home from couples’ karaoke night. Dad staggered through the front door, clutching his throat.
“Tea. With honey,” he gasped before stumbling off toward the kitchen. Mom came in the door behind him, grinning.
“Hi, kids. How did everything go while your father and I were off”—she reached into her handbag and pulled out a plastic trophy of a microphone—“winning the golden mic!”
“Go, Mom and Dad!” we cheered. From the kitchen, we heard Dad rasp a feeble “thanks” and something about suffering for his art.
“Everything went great here,” Lori said to Mom. “Thanks to Lincoln, we got free Flippees!” The other girls nodded in agreement. Mom smiled.
“What a good brother! I’m so proud of how kind you kids are to each other,” she said, tousling my hair before heading to the kitchen.
I felt a pang of guilt. I hadn’t been a good brother—I’d lied to my sisters. I was just lucky Flip chose today to be generous with his Flippees!
Later that night, as I brushed my teeth and got into bed, I still felt guilty, but I tried to push the feeling aside. Our video was incredible. We hadn’t just found ghosts—we’d befriended them! Hunter was going to be so impressed. After all, most of the spirits he encountered were angry, and he had to drive them out. Maybe he’d even want to come to my house to meet these friendly spirits for himself. Of course, I wasn’t sure how I’d get my sisters out of the way for that. It might require some real Dairyland tickets, which would require some serious saving.
I got into bed and pulled up the covers. Even though it was past half our bedtimes, the house was still full of noise. Lana was snoring, while Lola yelled at her to stop. Lily was crying, and Lisa was blasting her white-noise machine to drown it out. Luna was sleep-singing, Luan was sleep-joking, and Lucy was sleep-sighing. Unlike most nights, however, it didn’t bug me. I popped in some earplugs and closed my eyes with a smile, hoping my new spirit friends had a few pairs of earplugs, too.
The next morning got off to a normal start for a Saturday. Better than normal, actually. I managed to get the TV to myself after breakfast, which meant I could play the new video game Lori had lent me—Acne Blasters. You pilot a spaceship through a galaxy of pus-filled planets, blasting them with face wash and zit cream until they explode. Gross, I know—but also oddly satisfying. Charles was sleeping next to me on the couch, oblivious to the loud blasts and explosions on-screen.
I’d made it all the way through the Blackhead Nebula and was about to face the final boss, Admiral Abscess, when I felt a sudden, chilly breeze across the back of my neck. I looked over my shoulder at the front door, but it was closed. Huh, that’s weird. I returned my attention to the screen, where Admiral Abscess was closing in on my ship.
“Not on my watch!” I shouted, firing a round of super-concentrated zit cream right at his stomach.
Another cold air current swept across the room. This time, it felt strangely familiar. Then it hit me—maybe it was one of the spirits from yesterday, wanting to check out Acne Blasters, too!
“Um, hey,” I called into the living room. I felt a tiny bit foolish, but then again, none of my sisters was around to hear. “Want to come hang out?”
Suddenly, Charles leapt up and started barking. I yelped, almost dropping the game controller.
“Charles, what the heck?” I asked, trying to keep my eyes on Admiral Abscess—I almost had him! Charles let out a growl. I glanced over and saw him staring intently at the couch cushion next to him, teeth bared and hackles raised.
“Charles, relax,” I said. “It’s a friendly spirit. It can hang with us!” Charles ignored me and kept barking at the invisible entity. I heard a triumphant shout and whipped my head back around to look at the TV screen. Admiral Abscess had overtaken my spaceship. I watched helplessly as it sank into a pit of pus.
“Nooo!” I moaned. “I was so close!” I threw the controller aside, frustrated, as Lana came running into the living room.
“Hey, Charles, ready for agility practice? I filled in all those holes in the yard and set up a new course.” Charles barked happily and ran over to her. Lana glanced at me. “You guys weren’t in the middle of anything, were you?” she asked. I shook my head and waved her away. I wasn’t about to tell her about my spirit friend.
Except … was it a friend? Why had it made Charles so upset? And why had it made me lose my game?
Then I shook my head. I was being crazy. It wasn’t the spirit’s fault that I’d lost; I’d just gotten distracted. I picked up the controller and started the level over. This time, Admiral Abscess was mine.
Later that afternoon, I decided to finally get started on a homework assignment I’d been putting off all quarter—a star chart of the night sky. I locked myself in my room and got down to business, first tracing all the constellations with pencil, then going over them with ink. After hours of work, my wrists were cramped and my vision was blurry, but I was finally down to my last star cluster.
“‘Pleiades, also known as the Seven Sisters,’” I read off my notes as I carefully drew in the stars. “Who was the lucky kid with just seven?” I wondered aloud.
Suddenly, I heard a hoarse, rasping laugh right in my ear. Gah! I jumped and turned around—but no one was there. Maybe I’d imagined it. I’d spent way too long staring at this star chart. But then I heard the voice again—and this time it wasn’t laughing. I froze, trying to make out what it was saying.
“M-m-my room now!”
My eyes widened. I looked frantically around my room for the source of the voice, but it seemed to be coming from more than one spot. I got up and started searching for hidden speakers or wires, but there was nothing out of place. My eyes fell back on my star chart. I gasped. It was now completely blank. Where had all my constellations gone?! I’d spent hours drawing them in pen!
Outside in the hall, I heard Lori shriek.
I flung open my door and saw her standing at the opposite end of the hallway, staring at a blank piece of paper. When she saw me, she quickly put it behind her back and tried to act casual.
“Lori, what’s wrong?” I asked.
“Oh, nothing,” she said nervously. I frowned and started to close my door, until I heard her mutter under her breath.
“I’m losing my mind, is all. How could the words just … disappear?”
I grabbed my blank star chart and ran out into the
hallway.
“Did it happen to you, too? I just spent hours drawing constellations and they all disappeared!” I told her. Lori looked at me, surprised but also relieved.
“Seriously? I thought I was going nuts! I was writing a letter to Bobby—like handwriting, literally the most romantic thing ever—when I heard this weird voice. But I was alone in the room!” she said. I nodded, my throat going dry. “And then when I looked back at my letter, everything I’d written was gone.” She looked embarrassed. Lori doesn’t like to admit when she doesn’t know what’s going on. It’s an oldest child thing, I think. “Maybe we both just used a defective pen?” she said uncertainly.
I brightened—that was probably it. I held up my pen, a plain black ballpoint. Lori held up hers, a fancy green gel pen. Okay, so it wasn’t that.
“I don’t get it. What else could have made my letter disappear?” Lori asked.
I hesitated. If I told her it might be spirits, she’d just laugh at me. But if I showed her Clyde’s and my video from yesterday, she’d know that I lied to get her and the rest of my sisters out of the house. Lori stared at me, waiting for an answer. Finally, I just shrugged.
She shook her head. “Whatever. This is what I get for trying to be all old-fashioned and romantic. From here on out, I’m sticking to texts.” She tossed the now-blank paper aside, took out her phone, and stomped downstairs.
I glanced back down the hallway toward my bedroom. Were the spirits in there, trying to claim my room for themselves? Is that why they’d made my homework disappear? I frowned and picked up Lori’s blank letter. Did they want Lori’s room, too? What was going on here?
That night, my parents went back to Jean Juan’s French-Mex Buffet for another round of couples’ karaoke. Mom thought Dad’s voice might need a break, but he whispered fervently that they had to defend their title.
Who Ghost There? Page 3