I knew that the astonishment had registered and frozen on my face. A phoenix down here? I wasn’t even aware they truly existed until now. Let alone here in Hell. They were creatures of light and rebirth, not of death and darkness. How did this happen? Why did it happen? Who would kill a phoenix and for what reason? I couldn’t help but think those words over and over again. Like I said, you learned something new down here every day. To be honest, I was beginning to hate that.
Chapter 20: Oh, Death
I was still floored by what happened. I was sitting on the ground with my legs crossed and looking into the distance like there was nothing else. The death of a phoenix, I realized, could almost cause complete destruction. That didn’t matter here though. Everything was already destroyed and you couldn’t make that worse. The forest was already dead and the only signs of life here were the creatures that lived in it and the dark wilderness.
I had been so scared in those moments surrounded by ash, and then the balls of fire came. The beast had saved us from death. I was beginning to unlock powers down here I would’ve never dreamed of, and they were the key to us getting out of here. I knew that was true because of what I had just witnessed. When I saw that flaming orb I thought we were done for, and then I watched it shatter and fall to the ground as it hit an invisible barrier created by my own flames. All I could feel after that was relief and awe.
As I sat there I could hear Gordon and Escara speaking softly behind me, and to be honest I wasn’t even focusing on their words. I could only focus on that point in the distance where the destruction had begun. I was also sure that whoever had killed that phoenix had been too close to walk away from it. They were then gone, and not gone as in went to Heaven gone. Death here was final, that I knew. That was why I was trying so hard to keep us alive so we could make it back to fulfill a destiny that had been predestined since long before I was even born. That was my ultimate goal, but I needed Gordon to be able to do it. Not just because he was destined as well, but because of the deep and undeniable love I had for him. I needed him more than I needed the air in my lungs.
I heard Gordon clear his throat and his shuffling footsteps as he walked through ankle-deep ash towards me. Even then I couldn’t force my stare away from that place. It was so far in the distance I was certain that it had to be on the other side of the river. I had never seen a phoenix before.
Gordon came to stand in front of me, and knelt down to my level. His eyes bore into mine and he rubbed his face like he was trying to remove the ashy remnants of the phoenix. I knew it was impossible, but he looked so tired. Exhausted even. It was like that event had taken every bit of energy he had, or maybe I had. I was in his arms when the protective barrier went up. It was possible I drew power from him without even knowing it. I had to find a way to avoid that in the future. If I took too much he wouldn’t make it, and the thought of that killed me on the inside.
He looked deep into my eyes and I could barely focus on him. It was like my eyes refused to see him.
“Robin,” he said. He sounded like he was off in the distance and muffled. It was kind of like when you have shell shock and your ears can’t really process anything you’re hearing. It all snapped back into focus once he said my name again, and I was finally able to look away from the darkness and at him. His gorgeous face was smudged with ash in places and the stubble made him look even more rugged and handsome. I didn’t even mind the dirt. Hell, I was covered in the stuff too. I believed if I shook my head that ash would come flying out of it like snow. Now wasn’t that an image. I almost had to stifle a giggle.
“Honey, are you alright?” He asked this in earnest. His brow was furrowed and the concern was dripping from him like he had just stepped out of a shower. Yet another thing I missed.
I nodded and answered, “Yes, I’m fine.”
He sat down in front of me and took my hands in his, kissing the back of one of them gingerly like I would break if he pressed too hard. I couldn’t help but close my eyes and savor his soft touch. There was nothing else like it. His hands were now rough from the hard life he was forced to live down here, but I was sure mine were just as bad. I found myself not caring as I opened my eyes to see him staring at me intently. He was watching my face and trying to decipher my expression. Either that or to memorize it.
I sighed and admitted, “I’m still in shock, I guess. I’ve never seen anything like that before. It’s scary when you don’t know what it is.”
“I think the only one not surprised by it was Escara,” he stated, pointing in her general direction behind me. “She’s probably seen plenty of things we never will.”
“Yeah, and if I can avoid seeing those things I’d be perfectly okay with that. I’ve seen things here I didn’t even know existed. We just don’t see some of this on the surface. Vampires and demons, I saw those every day. This is a whole other world.”
He reached up and caressed my face and then tucked my hair behind me ear. One question was still burning inside of me. I was very sure about how death worked here, but I wanted the answer from someone who really knew.
“Gordon?”
He moaned in answer sweetly like he was asking what I needed without having to say a word. His eyes had closed as he held my hand against his cheek and I hadn’t even noticed.
“When something dies here how does it work?”
His eyes snapped open and it was like he was astonished by the question. I could see him searching in his mind for an answer, but that wasn’t before he asked a question of his own.
“Why do you want to know?”
I cleared my throat. All of a sudden it felt clogged like when you’re playing your first role in a high school play and you’re line is coming up. I almost choked on the words as I forced them to come out.
“It’s just that everything here feels final and absolute. The violence here is so primal. Everything I have killed here I’ve wondered where they go once they’re gone.”
He sighed and moved in closer to me, like he was about to teach me the secret handshake of a fraternity and he could get in trouble for it.
“The thing is no one knows for sure until they have experienced it. If I had to guess I’d say yes, it is final. On the chance that it is, I am fighting as hard as I conceivably can to keep us as safe as possible here. That’s one reason I used a power I swore to myself long ago that I wouldn’t. It’s evil, and I’m not.”
Honesty poured from and I couldn’t help but understand. After all, I knew exactly how he felt. The power inside of me felt evil and the fact that Hellfire could fuel it only confirmed my suspicions. That had only one explanation for me, and it was one I didn’t like. I fought and destroyed evil. I didn’t want to be made up of it too, but there was no way around it. Maybe it took being even just a little evil yourself to be able to destroy it. That was what I was going to force myself to believe unless told otherwise from then on.
“I know you’re not,” I said as I reached up took my hand from his to caress him, running my fingers along his strong jawline. There wasn’t a single ounce of evil in him. I hadn’t even felt it when he used that power. He thought it was evil, but nothing proved that. If anything the absence of the presence of evil was proof to me there wasn’t any to be found. “Since I met you I haven’t sensed anything evil in you. Not even when you used your power.”
He looked away from me and rolled his eyes, a small chuckle escaping him. He truly felt that there was evil in him that fed his power. That couldn’t have been farther from the truth.
“I’m not kidding, Gordon.”
He looked back at me than, and the smile had fallen from his face. That uncomfortable feeling of tears in the back of your throat that were about to choke you was there. My gut lurched into overdrive as butterflies took over. I was nervous, but had no idea why. Would he reject everything I said and call me a liar?
“What makes you so sure? I’ve been a demon for hundreds of years. I did so many evil things. How could I not be evil?”
I put
both hands on his face and looked him square in the eyes, letting him know that I was as serious as serious could get. That he shouldn’t question what I was about to say.
“Even when you used your power I couldn’t feel any evil in you. Evil doesn’t make up who you are. My power,” I pulled my hands away and held them palms towards the sky, letting energy build in them until a soft glow was visible, “is made of evil. I know that now. I can absorb Hellfire and evil monsters to get stronger. If anyone is evil it’s me. I can do the same thing as some of the creatures in the dark that I hunt.”
“But that doesn’t make you evil.”
I then turned his own question around on him and asked, “What makes you so sure?”
He took his hand and placed it on my chest, where my heart was beating softly and rhythmically. It began to pump even faster as his hand touched my skin. It was warm, and I could feel his love pouring from his hand and into me. It was wrapping me in a soft blanket and holding me, promising never to let go. I couldn’t help but place my hands on top of his. In that moment, I knew exactly why before he even said a word.
“Your heart.”
I hadn’t stopped looking at him that whole time and I could tell what he was saying was the absolute truth, but he couldn’t feel the beast inside of me like I could. He couldn’t feel it rage inside of me, beating against every ounce of control I had until I had no choice but to give in.
I smiled at him, and in that moment I felt so relaxed that I could’ve fallen asleep right there. Sitting up even. Just hearing him say those words to me I felt a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. It was like I had been holding the whole world there since the beginning of time, and someone was finally stepping in to help me lift that weight. We were balancing it together and as long as we were together I felt that we could take on anything.
“You ready to get moving again? She said we still have a long way to go.”
I looked back and realized Escara was there, impatiently tapping her foot on the ground. If I wasn’t so focused on Gordon I could’ve felt it leaching its way to me like a snake on the ground, silent and venomous. I turned back to him, trying not to laugh. I wanted to giggle like a four year old, and I couldn’t help it. I knew she was serious, but I couldn’t take that seriously even. Her reactions to the humanity we so comfortably displayed were too funny. I was betting it was because it was something she never got to experience, and I proved myself correct once I let my mind dig a little deeper into the emotions I felt coming from her. There it was. That green eyed monster everyone talked about. Envy.
I rose to my feet with a flourish and Gordon followed suit. If we did have so much farther to go we really did need to get a move on. I was just so tired of walking. I think that’s why no one ever tried to get out. They walked all they could, even until their feet bled, and just gave up. Well, I wasn’t the kind to do that, and I wasn’t going to start now. Not for any reason.
Chapter 21: The Search
We were still drudging through the ankle deep ash that resulted from the phoenix’s demise. I felt yet again like we had been walking for hours, if not days without stopping. My feet hurt and legs burned from the effort of walking through powder that seemed as dense as snow. This made it even harder to want to keep going, but I couldn’t stop. The faster we got to the pit, the faster we could get home. Nothing, not even this, would stand in my way. I didn’t care what I had to do to get there.
Escara was about twenty feet in front of us and I could see her looking from side to side in intervals, every now and then turning back to look at us. It was like she was checking to see if we did really trust her enough to follow her. I know I did.
Some things never changed. Even as we walked silently I could hear our feet dragging through the fine powder on the ground and I wanted to hit something. I wasn’t sure if it was just frustration or impatience, but I sure was irritated. That emotion was one I recognized instantly. Maybe I was just tired and needed to stop for a little while. I wasn’t even sure about that. I wanted out, and I wanted out badly enough to kill for it. If the deal made with Escara wasn’t indicator enough. I would even continue going no matter how impatient I was getting for it to finally be over.
Lilith looming over me, even down here, was especially taxing. All I wanted to do was get back up to the surface, find her, and take her down like she had Gordon and I. But at that moment that was goal number two. Goal number one was to find the pit and get the Hell out of dodge.. I did have a question for Escara now that I was thinking about Lilith. The whole time I had been here I had only once ran into my pray of choice. The vampire. I was puzzled as to why. I just had to ask. Lilith was their mother after all, and she had come from here, but where were the rest of them?
“Escara?” I yelled after her. I stopped in my tracks and slid slightly in the ankle deep dust as I came to a stop. Both Gordon and Escara stopped and turned to look at me, both with a bewildered look on their faces. The question was burning inside of me, but it hadn’t hit me until that moment. “I need to ask you a question.”
She began to walk towards Gordon and me, and stopped a few feet before she reached me. I would let the distance between us remain. It was more comfortable to feel her exasperation with me from a distance. She crossed her arms across her chest and looked at me in such a way I knew she was waiting for me to ask my question. It was just funny to watch her squirm.
“Go ahead, Executioner. You have the floor.”
I looked from her, to Gordon, and then back to her and took a deep and resonating breath. It steadied me a little bit.
“Where are all the vampires?” I asked. “I’ve only seen one since I got here.”
She seemed bewildered by the question, and Gordon looked to me like I had just confessed to being Jack the Ripper. His eyes went wide and I could feel anxiety ripple through him like when a drop of water landed in a full sink. I even felt that same ripple run through me as Escara looked at me like I was holding the Holy Grail in my hands. What had I said? Was this question off limits or something?
I glanced back and forth between them and couldn’t help but ask another question. Their reactions were priceless.
“Was it something I said?”
My glance landed and stayed on Escara. Her arms were now uncrossed and her hands were on her hips, her head hanging low. I could see Gordon rub his face with both hands out of the corner of my eye. Seriously, was it something I said? When she finally looked at me after a few dragging moments of silence, her face was guarded.
“God kept Lilith here. Vampires were routed to another place to keep her from leading an uprising and making her way back to the surface with an army. Sometimes one slips through the cracks.” She nodded as I looked at her like she could see the disbelief in my eyes. It was like she was letting me know without so many words that this was absolute truth.
“Well, that didn’t seem to stop her,” I sighed. “She made it out anyways and is starting her uprising on the surface.” I wiped my palms on my pants and hadn’t even realized they were sweaty and leaned down, pushing against my thighs. “So, how did she do it?”
Gordon was the first to speak. “Beats me. She is very powerful and could do anything she wants. She was the first wife of Adam and the mother of the darkness.”’
I stood and looked him directly in the eyes. Yes, she could do whatever she wanted, but not just anyone could crawl their way out of here. There was only one way out that I knew of now, and it wasn’t made for the creatures that crawled through these woods and in the wilderness. Then I had my moment of clarity. She could indeed do what she wanted. She didn’t need an army of her children to make it out. She just needed a key.
“She found a way to use the pit. That has to be it.” Gordon seemed confused and obviously I had to spell it all out for him. Escara even seemed to be able to figure it out as well as soon as I had made my own revelation. Understanding was pouring from her and showering over me, thick and hot. She knew exactly what I meant. Gord
on still had no idea, so I felt I needed to elaborate.
“She either found an Executioner here and talked them into helping her somehow, or forced their hand. That’s the only way I know of that she could’ve done that. Escara had said it herself. I was the key to open the lock. She found a key, and it’s either lying dead next to the pit or still walking around.”
Gordon then asked a very important question. “Then why leave them here? An Executioner is just as useful down here as on the surface.” This I had an answer for.
“Either this person was dead weight or an extra pair of hands to help us stop her. There is no way she can expand her army and keep tabs on an Executioner that she had possibly forced to help her. The person she got to help her would’ve had motive to help us get rid of her. Helping to end Lilith is a big step up for an Executioner. Really the only place she’s even slightly vulnerable is up there.” I pointed up into the darkness, hoping I was actually pointing towards the surface. I could’ve been pointing at the Earth’s core for all I knew. That or nothing at all.
“Obviously, whoever cooked up this plan to keep her under wraps wasn’t smart enough to keep her locked up.” I pointed out. I didn’t care who cooked it up, it wasn’t enough to keep her here. Not nearly enough. If an Executioner could end up here and if anyone had the information on how to get out than anyone could. Not just Lilith. I was sure there were worse things here than her. She was just fortunate enough to make it to the surface to wreak her special brand of havoc there. Which I was sure she had begun to do as soon as I was out of the way, but she didn’t know that I wouldn’t be out of the way for long.
I was also sure she wasn’t betting on anyone here giving me the information I needed to get back. She knew that I would be on everyone’s hit list. Either that or she put me down here to help another friend out. Maybe even ride my coat tails when I made my grand escape. There was no way to know until it happened or didn’t. I was hoping I wasn’t just put here to help her in her games. That I couldn’t handle. I already had too much on my plate without getting even more human blood on my hands. I had a feeling there was plenty already from when Lilith took me down.
Follow the Screams (The Executioner Trilogy Book 2) Page 11