by B. L. Mooney
“You lied to me the entire time.” She looked at him. “You came to me for help with relationships. That was a lie. You wanted to relive your kills. You said it helped with the urges, but you were killing again long before you had come to me.”
The sigh that came from him spoke of boredom. “Does it really matter?”
“Of course, it matters.”
He was shutting down, and my window of opportunity to get free and stop him was closing fast. I flinched when I felt another tear on my fingertips. I had to keep going.
“Yes, yes, I was still killing people when I talked to you. That bitch took four years of my life, dangled a carrot in my face, and then yanked it back when I thought I had everything under control. And do you want to know why?”
His voice was loud, causing Elizabeth to clutch her bag to her chest. She was terrified of him. I may have been a little harsh in questioning her loyalty to him, but this was not a situation to let your guard down.
“The fucking diamond wasn’t big enough! I asked her to marry me. Did she tell you that, Lizzy?” He bent over in a fit of laughter. “The diamond wasn’t big enough. I hope Billy was able to afford a rock compared to the chip, as she called it, that I tried to give her.
“I changed my life, my ways, and my desires when she told me she was pregnant. I changed everything! Nothing was good enough for her.” He turned to Elizabeth. “Nothing is good enough for you, either, is it?”
“You’re the one who disappeared the second time. You are. You can’t blame Mom or me for that.”
He tilted his head back and looked to the ceiling. “You’re right. I was busy with my escape plan. I couldn’t write to you because I didn’t want to be linked to you when I left. I wanted you to be free from cops so I could be free to contact you. Then you had to go and fall in love with one.” He shook his head.
He looked out the window again. “Speaking of which,” he turned back to the girls, “we should get going before the cops come back. If we don’t make it back to Aaron, no one will find him in time.”
Lindsey stood. “Let’s go.”
I struggled harder, trying to free myself. She wasn’t going to leave with him. I wouldn’t allow it.
Austin stood sideways and looked her up and down as if he didn’t believe her. “No arguing?”
“My friend’s life is on the line. There’s nothing to argue.”
“No.” I wasn’t going to let her just walk out the door. “You’re not taking them anywhere.”
He took a step toward me. “And what are you going to do about it?”
“I’m going to kick your ass.”
He looked behind me and saw the ropes had started to come untied. “You’ve got a great start on that, but you’ll never finish in time.”
He raised the knife above his head as I struggled with the last of the ropes. I was so close to getting free. Even if he managed to stab me once, it wouldn’t stop me from trying. I had to get free before he got another swipe in. I had to. I watched as the blade came at me and held my breath to brace myself for the pain.
“Daddy!” Elizabeth’s scream caused Austin to pause and turn to her just in time to see her pull the trigger and put a bullet into his chest.
He stepped back a few steps and tilted his head as his eyes narrowed in confusion. He took another step toward me, and she pulled the trigger again. He went down to his knees, but never took his eyes off her before falling forward.
I freed my hands and tried to unwind the rope around my body just as my doors were busted in from the front and back. The placed filled with police. Phil ran to Elizabeth and took the gun from her shaky hands while other officers attended to Austin. Lindsey sat on the sofa and cried. I looked at the rope in my hands, red from my blood, and collapsed back against the chair.
I sucked in a breath when the nurse shot the needle into my shoulder. The cuts weren’t bad enough for surgery, but I did need some sutures. What I needed was to be with Lindsey. Phil assured me he’d bring her by once he was finished questioning her. I was worried she wouldn’t want to see me now that she was free of Austin.
The officer who escorted me to the hospital informed me they had found Aaron in a shady motel across town. The manager found him after he’d gone to Austin’s room to collect the money he owed.
He was in worse shape than me and did require surgery, but was still expected to live. I leaned my head back onto the pillow and closed my eyes. Even if he did survive the attack, I was sure his life would be changed forever. I knew mine had been.
“Are you still in pain?” The nurse had misread my body language.
“Not on my shoulders.”
“Where else are you hurt?”
“No, I didn’t mean that. I’m fine.”
“Okay, the doctor will be in to get these taken care of soon. We’ll go over cleaning and dressing them when he’s finished. Do you have anyone who can help you to remember?”
I shook my head. “I’ll be able to manage.”
I closed my eyes and waited for the doctor. My mind flashed through images of Lindsey and what we’d been through the past few months. I wished I had protected her better, but other than that, I wouldn’t change a thing.
“You had quite the interesting day.” I opened my eyes and saw a doctor walking toward me, looking at my chart. “Normally, I shake hands with patients, but in your case, it may hurt.” He placed the chart onto the counter and looked my cuts over. “I’ll get you fixed up so you can get out of here, but there will be no working out for a few weeks at least.”
I nodded and closed my eyes. “Do you know anything about the others who were brought in?”
Phil walked in and answered for him. “You’re the lucky bastard who’ll walk out of here today. The others will be staying for a while.”
I lifted my head and looked at him. He was alone. I put my head back against the pillow and closed my eyes. I didn’t care about the others anymore. The one person I wanted to see had shut me out.
“What, no warm welcome for me?”
I kept my eyes closed. “You know who I want to see.”
“She needed a time-out. It’s been rough.”
“Where is she?”
“At her mother’s.”
I nodded. I was saddened she wasn’t with me anymore, but I wasn’t sure I was going to be allowed to go back home, either. At that point, I didn’t care. “How is Aaron?”
Phil let out a breath. “He’s in bad shape. They say he’ll survive, but he’s going to have a long road ahead of him.”
I opened my eyes. “What happened to him?”
“He was cut up pretty bad and lost a lot of blood. I’m not sure on the details. I couldn’t sit and listen to it. All I cared about is that he has all ten fingers and ten toes, and he’s breathing.”
Phil pulled up a chair and sat down. The weight of the world was still resting on his shoulders. They may have caught the man they were looking for, but he succeeded in taking down a couple of cops with him.
“I’m more worried about his ability to cope with what happened to him than how many fingers he has. When a cop loses control of a situation . . . well . . .” He shook his head. “Sometimes there’s just no coming back from that.”
I nodded. “How’s Elizabeth?”
“She isn’t doing well. She’s with her parents. I offered to bring her here to wait for Aaron, but I think she feels too guilty for what happened to him.” He cleared his throat. “So, we’re going to need your place for a few days.”
“I figured.” I’d stay at a hotel. I didn’t care where I stayed. I wouldn’t be able to sleep without Lindsey, no matter where it was.
The doctor moved to the other shoulder, and I turned my head. I was finished talking for a while. I needed the silence I’d gotten used to, but hadn’t had in months.
I stared at the ceiling. The bed wasn’t as soft as my bed, my shoulders throbbed no matter how I lay, and Lindsey wasn’t here. I didn’t even have the scent of her on t
he pillow next to me.
I’d sent her a text when I was released and settled, but she hadn’t responded yet. I wanted to give her time, but I needed her. I rolled over and cursed at the pain. I sat up and looked at the bag on the table. They gave me pain meds, but I was too stubborn to use them. I wanted to be sober for when Lindsey needed me. I wasn’t sure she’d ever need me again after I tried to control her. She warned me, but I didn’t listen.
“I’m serious, Joseph. I love you, but I will never forgive you for this.”
I got up and walked over to the bag. I dumped out the bandages, salve, and bottle of pills. I walked to the small refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water. I would’ve preferred the alcohol, but I needed to stay sober.
The bottle said to take one to two pills as needed. Since it was two in the morning and I still hadn’t heard from Lindsey, I figured it would be best to sleep and be rested in case she wanted to talk the next day. I kicked back two pills and went back to bed.
I stared at the ceiling as if it was going to give me the answers I needed. Too much had happened, and it was difficult to process it all. My mother tried her best to comfort me, but I’d been inconsolable. I needed Joseph.
I rolled to my side and looked at the side of the bed that he would’ve been on had he been there. I reached out and touched the empty space. I closed my eyes when the tears fell. My eyes were sore and puffy, and my nose was red and raw from crying. I didn’t think I had that many tears in me.
The light from the hallway when my door opened made me cover my face, but not because it was too bright. I didn’t want my mom to know I’d started crying again. She was so worried about me.
I felt the bed dip when she sat down and felt her hand stroke my hair. “I know there are things you need to work through with him, but I think you need to be with him tonight. You love each other. Worry about working through them later. Just love one another right now. That’s what you each need.”
“He was going to keep me captive to stop me. I don’t want to worry that he’ll do that whenever I do something he doesn’t agree with.”
“Baby, if I could’ve kept your father from living on the streets, I would’ve locked him in a room in a heartbeat. He may have hated me for it, but at least the man I loved would still be alive today.
“Joseph put your needs before his. He put your life before your relationship. He wasn’t trying to control you. He was trying to keep you alive.”
I sat up and hugged my mother tighter than I’ve hugged anyone before. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too. Now get dressed so I can take you to him, and you can tell him you love him, too.”
I knocked on the door a second time and wondered if I had the wrong room number. I pulled out my phone to check the text he sent just as the door opened. Joseph’s eyes were almost closed, and he was swaying. I backed him up, pulled my suitcase inside, and closed the door.
“Are you okay?”
His voice was low, and he mumbled when he spoke. “I’m fine.” He closed his eyes and dropped his head forward.
I reached out and held him up before he fell. The bed looked as if he’d had a rough night of tossing and turning. I led him back to bed. It didn’t take much for him to fall into bed and drift back to sleep. I stood over him and looked him over. His shoulders were both bandaged. His hands had some bandages, as well. The rest of him looked perfect.
I looked at his chest where Austin had aimed for and wiped a tear away. If Elizabeth hadn’t kept the gun Aaron gave her for protection, I feared Joseph would be dead. I wiped another tear away.
I worried for Aaron. He made it out of surgery and was resting, but he didn’t deserve what hell was unleashed on him. I could only imagine the guilt Elizabeth was feeling. The man she loved became a target simply because she loved him. It wasn’t surprising that Austin attacked an officer in charge of the investigation, but I was sure he chose Aaron simply because he was dating Elizabeth.
Austin was still fighting for his life the last I’d heard from Phil. His death would’ve been both a relief and a tragedy. He wouldn’t have been able to hurt anyone again, but Elizabeth would’ve been devastated at the thought of killing her father. She may not have been close to him, but he was still her father, and no one should carry that burden.
I rolled my suitcase over by the table and looked at the bandages and medicine lying there. I picked up the pill bottle and turned back to Joseph when he started to snore. I placed the bottle back onto the table. It explained why he was passed out. I was lucky he was able to unlock the door.
The matching shirt to the pajama bottoms he had on was draped over the chair at the table. I undressed and changed into the shirt before climbing into bed next to him. I carefully moved his arm enough to slide in next to him and snuggled into his chest. It didn’t take me long to fall asleep with him.
It’d been long enough that I should be able to look at the stick and have my answer if I could break into the mini bar or not, but I was terrified to look. The look on Joseph’s face when I said the pregnancy tests were for me didn’t tell me if he would be happy about it or not. He did look disappointed when I lied about being on my period, but it was an intense moment. I wasn’t sure how he’d react under normal circumstances.
The bathroom door opened, and I turned, standing in front of the sink to hide the test. I still hadn’t looked to see what it said, but I needed a drink more than ever.
Joseph stepped inside, still a little groggy, and blinked a couple of times. He seemed to become more alert when it registered that I was standing in front of him. I put my hands behind my back and leaned onto the sink to grab the test without him seeing.
“Lindsey?” He rubbed his eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know anyone was in here.”
“It’s okay.” I stepped forward. “I’m finished. It’s all yours.” I slipped past him and went back to bed with the stick in hand.
I needed to look at it, but I was scared. I wanted a child, and I wasn’t getting any younger, but was it wise to have one so soon with Joseph? I put the stick on my lap and pulled the covers over it when Joseph stepped out of the bathroom.
He took a couple of steps, realized I was in his bed, and stopped walking. “You are here.”
“Is that okay?”
He walked toward me again. “Yes, of course.” He sat in the bed next to me, facing me. “How long have you been here?”
I looked over and the clock read seven. “A few hours.” I reached up and touched his face. “I missed you.”
He took my hand and kissed my palm. “I missed you, too.”
“How is everything?” I motioned to his shoulders.
“I was supposed to change the dressing last night, but it’s hard to reach. I can’t reach across without feeling the sutures pull.”
I moved to get out of bed, and he held my hand. I looked at him. “I want to help you.”
“In a minute. I’m sorry.” He looked down to his lap. Whatever he had to say was gutting him.
I held his face and lifted it to have him look at me again. “Joseph?”
“I love you so much, Lindsey. I can’t lose you. I can’t live without you. When I thought it was a possibility to lose you to that monster, I couldn’t handle it. I’d rather lose your love and trust than never have you in my life at all. I did what I thought I had to do to protect you. I wasn’t trying to control you.”
I ran my thumb over his lips. “I know.” I got up on my knees and kissed him. “I know.” I looked down to his lap and put my forehead against his. “I’m sorry I got violent. When we’re both feeling up to it, I’ll kiss it and make it feel better.”
His laugh was music to my ears. It meant we would be okay. We had to be okay. I’d make sure of it. He kissed me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “We have plenty of time for that.”
“Okay. I get to play nurse now.” I got up and walked over to the table where his bandages were. “Did they give you any instructions? Maybe you should
come over to the chair so I don’t get the bed wet with this stuff.”
I turned and looked at him since he wasn’t answering, and he had the pregnancy test in his hand. I forgot I was hiding it. I looked at the bandages I held in my hands.
“I thought you started your period.”
“I lied.” I glanced up to Joseph, but nothing about his face said what the results were. He wasn’t happy or upset. He was just indifferent. I turned back to the table and arranged the stuff he dumped out of the bag.
“When were you going to tell me?” He sounded closer, but I didn’t turn around.
“When I found out what the results were.”
“You haven’t looked yet?” He was right behind me.
“No, I’m too scared.”
He wrapped his arms around me, hiding the stick in his hand. “Are you afraid of being pregnant or not?”
It was the only honest answer I could give. “Both.”
His arms tightened around my waist. “We should keep trying.”
My entire body sagged. I wanted to be pregnant. I wanted to have Joseph’s child, but he just told me we weren’t having one yet.
“You won’t get pregnant again until after you have this baby, but I don’t want to fall out of practice. We can’t let our other future children down by not practicing.”
I turned and looked into his eyes. Was he making jokes? Was I actually pregnant? He held the stick up next to the biggest smile I’d ever seen him wear. He was happy about it?
I looked at the stick and back to his eyes. They held such joy, such happiness at the thought of being a father. I was sure he was scared just as shitless as I was, but looking at him holding that stick and smiling about it was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen in my life.
I pulled his face down to mine and kissed him. “I want to start practicing right now.”
I couldn’t stop kissing him. I reached into his pajama bottoms and stroked him. It didn’t take long for him to get hard. I backed up, pulling him with me, and sat on the table. The bed would hurt his shoulders, so we’d have to improvise for a while. I didn’t mind at all. It didn’t appear that he minded much, either.