by Amy Clipston
“Lunch at my parents’ house?” Anna Mae asked. “Who will be there?”
“Just David and our immediate family,” Kathryn explained. “It’s our turn with them since the rest of David’s siblings planned to see them on other days to have their Christmas celebrations. You know how hectic it gets this time of year. We put our word in for Christmas Eve first.”
Anna Mae nodded and let the words process. Christmas Eve with her parents. She could be strong; she could do this. She turned to Kellan. “Does that sound okay to you? We’ll try lunch tomorrow.”
Kellan sighed. “I’ll go along with it on one condition.”
Anna Mae nodded. “What’s your condition?”
He put a fingertip under her chin and angled her face so that she was staring directly into his warm eyes. “I won’t stay here if the stress is too much for you and our baby. If things take a turn for the worse, then we will leave. Do you agree with me?”
Overwhelmed by the love in his eyes, Anna Mae nodded as more tears filled her eyes. “Yes,” she whispered.
“Then we have a deal.” He kissed the top of her head. “I’ll let you ladies talk a few minutes while I go say goodbye to your brother. We shouldn’t stay too late. You and the baby need your rest.” He then headed out of the kitchen.
“He really loves you,” Kathryn said.
Anna Mae sighed. “I just wish my father would see that.”
David hung up his coat and blew out a sigh. Turning, he spotted Kellan coming from the kitchen. “How is Anna Mae?” he asked.
“As well as can be expected,” Kellan said. “May I talk to you a minute?”
David waved his hand toward the quiet family room. The children had gone upstairs to get ready for bed. Sinking into a rocker, David patted the chair next to him. “Have a seat.”
“Don’t mind if I do.” Kellan lowered himself onto the chair and jammed his hands in his pockets. “What a night, huh?”
David kept his eyes fixed on the flames crackling in the fireplace. “Ya, I reckon it has been.”
“There’s something I need to ask you,” Kellan said.
David faced him. “What is it?”
“I didn’t understand much of what your dad said out by the barn earlier since he was speaking Pennsylvania Dutch. But, at the same time, I’m not stupid. From what I deduced, he wants Annie and me to leave, right?” Kellan’s expression was serious but also sad.
Suddenly David felt as if he’d been transported back in time. Once again, he was trapped in the middle between his father’s strict Amish ways and Anna Mae’s choice to leave the community.
“You don’t have to sugarcoat it, David,” Kellan continued. “I’ll take it like a man.”
“My father wasn’t happy you and Anna Mae were here,” David began, facing him. “He didn’t say that he wanted you to leave, but he did say he couldn’t stay here.”
“I told Annie that we should go home, but she’s insisting on staying through tomorrow to see if she can smooth it over.” Kellan shook his head, frowning. “I’m concerned the visit is going to be too stressful if it keeps going the way it is. While the doctor said that it was safe for us to make this trip, I’m worried the stress of all of this might hurt her or the baby.”
David absently rubbed his beard as worry filled him. “I hadn’t thought about that.”
Kellan leaned back on the chair. “I just don’t understand it. How can a father treat his child that way? It doesn’t make sense to me. Annie made her choice when she married me and it was her choice. I didn’t force her to leave your community. In fact, I asked her several times if she was certain she wanted to give up this life for me, and every time I asked, she insisted she was.”
“I knew that Daed would have trouble welcoming Anna Mae,” David said. “I warned Kathryn, but she insisted on arranging this visit.”
Kellan shook his head and held his hands palms up. “I don’t understand it. Annie and I have been married almost three years. We’re expecting our first child and we’re happy. She’s everything to me and she tells me I’m everything to her. She’s not coming back here or going to join your church again, but she wants to be a part of the Beiler family. Why can’t Henry accept that?”
David shook his head. “I don’t think you understand my father’s point of view. He was deeply hurt when Anna Mae left. We know that once a member of the community has left, it’s rare that she comes back, and it’s devastating for the parents. On top of that, it’s more complicated than that for my father. He’s the bishop, and I’m certain he feels like he failed as a father and leader of the church because she chose to leave.”
“How is he a failure?” Kellan said. “He should be proud of his daughter. Anna Mae is a good wife and will be a wonderful mother too. She may live and worship God in a different way than the way she was raised, but all the most important elements of her faith are still there. The rest is just window dressing.”
David nodded. “I see your point, but I also see my father’s. It’s not an easy situation at all.”
Kellan sighed. “It just kills me to see Annie so upset. She came here with the best of intentions.” He glanced at his watch. “I’m going to see if she’s ready to head back to the room. I want to be sure she gets her sleep.” He stood and headed into the kitchen.
David watched him leave, rubbing his beard in frustration. It was obvious that Kellan was a good Christian man who cared for his sister. But would his father ever acknowledge that fact?
He sighed and got up to poke at the fire. He’d done all he could. Now he had to leave the rest up to God.
CHAPTER 9
Mary Rose sat on the edge of the bed while thoughts of her beautiful Anna Mae swirled through her mind. How could Henry rebuff their daughter? Of course Mary Rose understood the importance of shunning, but Henry had gone way beyond what was expected of an Amish person, even a bishop. His behavior had been downright cruel, and it broke her heart to see Anna Mae so distraught.
Her eyes moved to the other side of the bedroom where Henry changed into his nightclothes. His silence had been deafening since they’d climbed into the buggy at David’s house. It was bad enough that he’d insisted they leave David’s home soon after supper, but the way he sat in silence after the incident was the icing on the cake. Resentment and disappointment surged within her.
“Go ahead and say it, Mary Rose,” he grumbled, pulling on his nightshirt. “I know you’re waiting to speak your mind.”
“I don’t understand you,” she whispered, angry tears spilling down her cheeks. “Your youngest dochder comes back to see you and tell you that she’s expecting her first boppli, and you treat her like an enemy. How could you, Henry Beiler?”
“You know the position I’m in as bishop.” He crossed the room and climbed into bed.
She swiped her hand across her wet cheeks. “Ya, I do, but I also know you’re a gut daed and a gut man. I expected you to treat her with love and respect, despite the fact that she left us. She’s still our dochder no matter where she lives or whom she chooses as her husband. Kellan McDonough is a gut man, and he’ll be a gut daed. We need to accept him as well as our dochder or we’ll lose her and her boppli. Is that what you want? Do you want to lose Anna Mae altogether?”
“She made her choice when she left,” he said, rolling onto his side and facing the wall.
“I want to be a part of her life.” Mary Rose stood and crossed to his side of the bed. “You can’t take her away from me.”
“I’m sure you’re just as hurt as I am that she left.”
“Have you no heart, Henry?” Her voice shook with resentment. “Have you no feelings for your own kinner?”
“I never said I didn’t love her,” he muttered. “She left me. I mean, she left us, all of us. Our whole family. She hurt us all when she rejected us.”
“That’s not true. She never rejected us, Henry. She simply chose another life, but she’s still our dochder.”
His eyes closed and a sn
ore escaped his chest.
“Don’t you fall asleep on me!” Mary Rose’s voice shook with renewed anger. “This conversation is not over, Henry. I want our dochder to be a part of our Grischtdaag, and you can’t stop that.” Turning, she stomped from the bedroom and down to the family room, where she curled up on the sofa and opened her Bible. Taking a deep breath, she prayed for guidance on how to deal with her stubborn husband.
While her eyes scanned the many verses, she thought of her beautiful Anna Mae. How her heart had swelled when she’d first laid eyes on her youngest dochder. While she’d never quite overcome the hurt and disappointment that Anna Mae had left to marry an Englisher, she felt at peace after seeing her again. Before she saw her father’s rejection, Anna Mae’s face had shone with happiness and joy.
And she was going to be a mamm! What a wunderbaar miracle!
Mary Rose could not understand why Henry was being so cruel to Anna Mae. He’d have been acting within the rules if he’d visited with their dochder and her husband for a few hours before they’d gone home.
Mary Rose let Henry’s words turn over in her mind. He’d said that Anna Mae had hurt everyone when she’d rejected them. Was Henry nursing a broken heart? Could that be the reason for his anger toward Anna Mae?
Shaking her head with confusion and disgust, Mary Rose glanced back down at the Bible. She read along, trying to put her resentment out of her mind and concentrate on the Lord’s Word.
A Scripture caught her eye, and she whispered it aloud, “Ephesians 4:2: Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” She allowed the words to sink into her heart.
Why couldn’t Henry remember this verse when he was with Anna Mae tonight? Henry should’ve remembered to be patient, humble, and gentle with their daughter. She was just as precious as their other children, even though she was no longer Amish.
Mary Rose stared at the verse until it struck her: she too needed to be gentle and patient, bearing with her husband in love even though she was exasperated by his stubbornness and hurt by his actions. Still, questions tumbled through her mind. She wanted to understand Henry’s behavior, and she also longed to know how she could help him change.
While she loved Henry with all her heart, she couldn’t let him hurt their daughter this way. Mary Rose was determined to have Anna Mae back in her life. She wanted to know and love her youngest grandchild. She needed more time with Anna Mae, and she needed to find a way to get it before it was too late.
She closed the Bible and set it on the end table. Then she lowered herself onto her side on the sofa and draped a quilt over her body. She recited her evening prayers, adding an extra one for Henry, asking the Lord to warm his heart toward their youngest child. She then asked God to keep Anna Mae in town long enough for Mary Rose to visit with her and bond with her.
Drifting off to sleep, Mary Rose dreamed that she was sitting on a porch with Anna Mae and her newborn child, laughing and chatting while the warm sun shone down on them.
Kathryn tiptoed down the hallway from Manny’s room toward her bedroom. Stepping through the doorway, she found David staring out the window. Taking a deep breath, she walked over to him, hoping he wouldn’t be angry with her for the incidents that had unfolded this evening.
“I’m sorry things didn’t go better tonight with your dat,” Kathryn said, crossing her arms over her chest. “You were right, and I was wrong to defy you. I was also foolish to assume that things would go smoothly.”
“I was right about my father.” Turning, he faced her, frowning. “And to make it worse, you put me in a bad position when you ate with her and Kellan.”
Kathryn shrugged. “She’s still family whether she’s shunned or not.”
“But you know the rules as well as I do. Your defiance doesn’t reflect well on me or this family.” He sighed. “I too had hoped things would’ve gone better.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying I was right about having Anna Mae and Kellan visit?”
“I didn’t say that,” he began. “It was a disaster at best, and I’m still angry and hurt that you planned this behind my back. However, I do think it’s time we tried to bring the family back together.”
Kathryn suppressed a smile. David was finally starting to see things her way.
“Anna Mae’s heart was in the right place, but the plan to reunite the Beiler family for Grischtdaag didn’t work.” Shaking his head, he frowned. “I don’t think my daed can get over his hurt that quickly. She’s the youngest, the baby. Imagine how we would feel if Manny left.”
“I hope your daed gets over it soon because it’s killing your mamm.” She took his hand in hers.
He rubbed his beard, his brown eyes deep in thought. “I changed my mind about Kellan tonight.”
“What do you mean?” Still holding his warm hands in hers, she led him to the bed, where they sat.
“He’s a gut man and clearly loves my sister. We talked and it was obvious that he loves God and takes good care of Anna Mae.” He shook his head. “I wish my father could see that. Maybe then he would accept them both as part of the family.”
“All is not lost.” Kathryn squeezed his hands in hers. “I’ve asked Anna Mae to join us at your parents’ house tomorrow and we can try again.”
David shook his head. “You should give up this idea of a Christmas miracle. It won’t work.”
“Ya, it will.” She nodded with emphasis. “Didn’t you see the joy in your mamm’s eyes when she first saw Anna Mae? That was all I needed to see to know I made the right choice. Anna Mae was meant to come here. It’s God’s will.”
David stood and walked over toward the window again. “I don’t know, Katie. I don’t think it’s our place to decide God’s will. My daed is going to become even angrier when he finds out Anna Mae and Kellan are still here. I’m certain he thinks that they headed home tonight. He’ll be less than pleased if they show up for Christmas Eve lunch. He’ll blow his top and possibly not speak to you or me for a very long time.”
“Don’t say that.” Kathryn crossed the room to him. “Don’t you believe in Grischtdaag miracles, David?” She placed her hand on his shoulder. “Remember our first Grischtdaag together as husband and wife when I told you we were going to have Amanda? That was a miracle.”
“But this is different,” David said. He stared out the window. “This isn’t about having a child. This is about working out family differences. These problems run deep and can’t be solved by sharing a dinner and telling the Grischtdaag story.”
“Look at me.” She cupped his face in her hands and turned it toward her. The worry in his deep brown eyes broke her heart. “I need you to trust me that this is going to work out. I need you to believe in a Grischtdaag miracle for the sake of our family. Please, David. For me.”
A sad smile turned up the corners of his lips. “Your faith never ceases to amaze me, Katie. But this goes beyond your belief in signs and miracles. I don’t think that there is an easy fix to this. I can’t tell you that I believe in Grischtdaag miracles.”
She sighed and ran her finger down his cheek. “I hope to prove you wrong, David Beiler, because I believe that there will be a miracle.”
He nodded. “I hope you’re right and I’m wrong.”
Lounging on the bed in their room, Anna Mae rubbed her abdomen while watching a news reporter highlight details of a snowstorm that was headed toward Lancaster County that evening.
“Looks like we’re going to get hit with quite a bit of snow,” Kellan said, sinking onto the bed next to her. “It’s a good thing we brought the SUV and not the car.” He held up a plate of cookies he’d received from the innkeepers. “Want one?”
“No, thanks.” Anna Mae cupped a hand to her mouth to stifle a yawn. “I don’t think I could eat another bite. Things with my dad ruined my appetite. I still can’t believe how badly the evening went. I never imagined it would be that bad, but I guess I was kidding myself.”
Reaching over, he t
ouched her hand. “I’m sorry that things haven’t worked out the way you’d planned. We can always go home tomorrow. If we leave early enough in the day, we’ll still be able to enjoy Christmas Eve at home. I can light the fireplace and—”
“No.” She shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. “Kathryn invited us for Christmas Eve lunch, and we have to go. I can’t go home without giving my dad one more chance. After all, we came all this way. We’ve already discussed this. Why are you changing your mind now?”
“Okay, okay.” He rubbed her arm. “I didn’t mean to distress you. We’ll try once more, but if your father upsets you again, then we’ll head home. I can’t stand to watch you grieve. It’s too much for me.”
She nodded, wiping her eyes. “I promise I’ll leave if he upsets me, but you have to let me try once more.”
“I will.” He smiled. “I just want you to be happy. You know that.” He placed the plate on the bedside table and then crossed to the window. Pushing back the shade, he glanced out. “Yup, it’s snowing all right. I think we may have a full-fledged blizzard by morning.”
Anna Mae opened her mouth to speak, but pressure like fire gripped her abdomen and lower back, stealing her breath. She gasped and clutched her belly.
“Annie?” Kellan rushed to her, dropping onto his knees in front of her. “Are you all right? Do you think labor is starting?”
She shook her head as the pain subsided. Taking deep breaths, she closed her eyes.
He held her hands. “Annie, let me call a doctor.” He stood, but she latched onto his hand and pulled him back.
“I’m okay,” she whispered, forcing a smile. “Probably false labor. If they’re real labor pains, they’ll get more regular. After all, I’m not due for three weeks.”
A frown twisted Kellan’s handsome face. “I think we should go home and you should see Dr. Trask.”