Knock—knock.
“Claudia, are you in there?”
His voice had her melting. Claudia closed her eyes, pressed her hand over her mouth, and prayed that he would go away. She couldn’t see him. Not yet.
“Claudia.” The knob rattled and again he knocked on the door. “I know you’re in there. Open up.”
The pain, the sickness hit her.
She jumped from the seat, raised the lid, and puked. Oh, God, she’d forgotten about the purging. The vomiting knocked the wind right out of her lungs. The knife clattered the floor, and she hung onto the sides of the toilet while her body emptied itself of the extra blood in her system.
The knob popped, the door opened, and Dimitri was inside the small bathroom.
“Damnit!” he snapped. Kneeling down behind her, he held her hair back from her face as she filled the toilet bowl with blood.
“What’s going on?” Ivy’s asked.
“She’s purging,” Dimitri answered.
“She needs to get in some water before the pain overtakes her,” Ivy said behind them.
Dimitri touched her, and Claudia wanted to sink into his touch. The heaving stopped, and she reached for the knife. Dimitri yanked her hand away.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he demanded. “That shit isn’t going to work now.”
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He jerked her up, swung her around, and had her off of her feet before she could blink. She did sink into him, wrapping her arms around his neck, hugging him tight, and waiting for the pain to pass.
Back to his room, they went right into the bathroom. He put her back on her feet when he sat down at the edge of the tub and held her tight against him. While the water ran to fill the tub, he took her clothes off. She couldn’t help him, not when a sharp stab of pain landed in her gut. She doubled over, holding her stomach as he finished stripping her down to bra and panties. As soon as he placed her in the warm bath, the pain began to ease. She closed her eyes, sighing.
“Now, do you care to tell me why you tried to bleed yourself after we bonded?”
Claudia shook her head and turned her back on him. “Did I do something wrong?”
“I thought I could still do it.”
“Why?”
She took a deep breath, brought her hands up to her face and rubbed. “I don’t know.”
“Hey, Dimitri,” Shadow’s thickly accented voice sang out to them. “You in there?”
“Not now!” he snapped.
“It’s okay.” She lowered her hand and sat up in the water. “You’ve got stuff to do.”
“Claudia—”
“I have to go back to work.” She tried to get out of the tub, only to have her arm grabbed, her escape stopped, her body pushed back in the water.
“I’m sorry about last night.” He sighed. “I shouldn’t have shamed you.”
She looked up at him slowly, her heart pounding hard in her chest. “I’m not ashamed,” she whispered, tears forming in her eyes. “You didn’t shame me.”
He touched her cheek, thumb brushing back and forth. “I’m sorry for not being gentler with you. You deserve gentleness, and the bonding should be done when we both are in our right minds, not in the heat of the moment.”
“I’m not sorry about any of that,” she whispered.
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“Then what’s wrong?” He touched the side of her face again. “Why’d you sneak away from me, and why did you lock me out?”
The tears fell, and he brushed each one away. Emotions she sensed coming from him overwhelmed her, and before she could stop herself the words came forth. “Do you love her?”
She didn’t mean to ask the question, but after she took his blood, after they bonded, she felt something. She felt a connection between him and Carissa, one that she wasn’t sure she could understand.
“Claudia,” he said with a sigh.
“I picked up this feeling you have for her,” she whispered. “Like you love her.”
He didn’t let go of her hand, and she couldn’t look at him. “I don’t love her. Maybe once a long time ago I thought I did, but I don’t, not like you mean.”
She turned her head, looking at the man of her dreams. A new kind of pain seemed to hit her, and she was powerless to stop the rest of the tears from falling freely. “Yes, you do,” she breathed out so softly. “I can feel it and have seen it in your eyes when you look at her.” She sniffed. “I’m sorry. I don’t have any right to question you like this.”
“You have every right to question me.” Dimitri pulled her out of the water and into his arms. She went willingly; hands clenching his shirt, she held back the sob threatening to slip from her throat.
“I care, yes, but not like you think. Carissa and I have been through a lot together.”
His chin rested on top of her head, hand fisted in her hair. “How can I make you understand a past that I still don’t understand myself?”
“Make me understand.”
He sighed, his hold tightened then lessened with a kiss on top of her head. When he pulled away, he stood up with her in his arms. He turned and sat down on the side of the tub with her on his lap.
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“Carissa joined freely,” he said. “She was thirteen. I had already been here for almost five years in training. She was hurt, sad, depressed, everything she should be if she had been forced here as the rest of us. I didn’t understand or know why until later on.
“Claudia, my family was old school,” he went on. “My father already had three daughters and one son before I came. I’m a second born son. And questions of my parentage came as soon as I came into this world. I didn’t look like the rest of my family.
I was darker. My father beat me all the time until I learned how to stay hidden. I resented being taken, but Ambrose turned out to be the first person I ever trusted.” He finished softly, placed her on the side of the tub, and walked to the doorway.
Dimitri raised his arms up, leaning into the doorway but not leaving. From their bond, she could feel the pain of his memories.
She sniffed and stood up, reaching for a towel, wrapping it around her body. She went up behind him, closing her arms around his waist, and rested her cheek on his back.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories.”
Dimitri turned in her arms and brought her closer. “Carissa and I were each other’s comfort in a world which had been very cruel to us. I fed from her and she from me. And what I see in your eyes, the one question you want know is yes.” He took a deep breath, walked over to the bed holding her hand, sat down, and pulled her to stand between his legs. “I slept with her.”
Claudia felt like her gut was about to drop. She couldn’t look at him. She turned, or tried to, but he held her in place.
“We never bonded. That wasn’t there between us. Don’t you see that what she and I had doesn’t mean anything now?”
“I don’t know what to see.” More tears fell free. “I feel like this was all rushed and—
and…”
“It is rushed.” She looked at him again. “Once the first link is felt, everything between vampire and bloodmate is rushed. The moment I fed from you everything 108
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changed. Now that your body has gone through the purging, our bond will only become stronger. That only happens in a true bonding. My blood in your veins and yours in mine ties us together for life.”
“I can’t be the second,” she whispered, willing the fresh onset of tears to go back and failing. “I’m sorry, but I—”
Dimitri yanked her down and silenced her with his lips, reminding her quickly the choice she made was the right one. “You’re not second to anyone,” he told her, his lips brushing against her own. “You’re the only one I want and crave. Our bonding happened so fast, Claudia, neither one of us eve
r got the chance to know the other or to adjust to the fact we were meant to be together until death parts us. So now we get to know each other.” He gave her another quick kiss before smiling at her. “And remember, you did ask me to not let you go.”
Claudia laughed through the tears and went into his arms. “I’m sorry, and I think I do understand. I don’t’ think my parents ever truly bonded.”
“That’s to their sadness then,” he told her in a tight embrace. “Never be sorry. This is new for me too. I have a lot of baggage on my shoulders. My soul is stained, and in my eyes, I don’t deserve you.”
“Your soul isn’t stained.”
Dimitri frowned, pushed her away, and moved to the other side of the room.
“Claudia, I have so much blood on my hands, I’m amazed I can sleep at night.”
“You’re a fighter and protector for our race.”
He turned and smiled at her, his eyes lighting. “See, when you say things like that, I know deep down, I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you.”
“What’d you mean?”
“You’re acceptance of me. Most turn their back after they discover what I am, knowing the killing I’ve done.”
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Claudia took a deep breath and sat in the spot he vacated, folding her hands in her lap. “My mother used to tell me stories when I was little about how a strong vampire would come one day and bond with me. She made it sound like a fairy tale.” She grinned at the memory. “When I was ten, I saw my first Guardian and was instantly fascinated.
My father became upset. He read in my diary how I wanted my vampire to be one. I never saw my father act like that before and never understood why he thought the Guardians were so shameful to be around. I still don’t.” She stood up and smiled quickly.
“I got my wish, Dimitri. I’ve bonded with a Guardian, but I don’t think I’m strong enough to hold on to you either.” Her voice trailed off.
He came over to her quickly, kneeling down at her feet. “Never think you’re unworthy. Right now, to me, you’re my light in a darkness I’ve been living with for so long. I don’t think before this very second I’ve realized just how lonely I really was.” He cupped her face gently in his strong hand, and she leaned into his palm. “Claudia, the first second I saw you in the clinic, I knew I had to be with you. It took a hell of a lot for me to stay away, just because I didn’t trust myself to be around you. The urge to touch you is too strong, even now.”
“So what do we do?”
“As much as I would love to take full advantage of you, I need to start Julian’s training.” Dimitri wiped her cheeks.
She leaned forward, kissing him lightly. “You sure you can’t spare a few moments for me?” She grazed the tip of her tongue over his lips. “Please?”
“Claudia,” he groaned.
“Then how about a fast bite.” She grinned. “But I want you to bite right here.” She moved his hand down between her legs. Instantly he cupped her mound. “Over my mark.”
Again Dimitri groaned. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
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He pushed her down, yanked the towel away and the wet, thin panties down her legs so fast she didn’t even get to help him.
Instantly, his mouth was upon her. His tongue parted the swollen lips of her sex, licked and sucked at her, teased her clit. She wrapped her legs around his head, holding him close while panting in instant arousal.
Lips closed around her clit, fingers slid into her, and Claudia lost herself in bliss. She fisted her hands in his hair, pulled at the locks, and pressed him harder against her flesh.
“Don’t stop,” she breathed out. “I’m so close.”
“Not without me, you don’t.”
With one jerk and twist, the button pulled free, his pants opened, and his cock sprang out. Claudia got only a glimpse of his magnificent tool before he fell over her and thrust the full rigid length of his cock into her.
She arched in welcome, wrapping her legs tightly around his hips. Dimitri pounded into her, and she welcomed it all. Clutching his shoulders, she rushed to the orgasm building in her. The tension snapped. Wave after wave cascaded through her. “Yes!” she cried, her nails digging into his back.
Two more strokes and he cried out as well. “Oh, shit!” Dimitri arched back, mouth open, fangs extended, but he didn’t sink them into her. He collapsed, his body covering hers and holding her tight.
She pushed at his leather pants, trying to move them down his legs and off.
He laughed. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Do it again.” She couldn’t catch her breath, but at the same time, she wasn’t ready for it all to end.
“Claudia, I really need to go.” She tightened her pussy around his cock, still buried deep inside her. He moaned. “That isn’t very nice.”
“You didn’t drink from me.” She almost had his pants to his knees when he kissed her deep and pulled back, his cock slipping free.
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She stayed on the bed, legs spread as he cleaned himself before pulling his pants up.
“You’re not ready for me to drink from you. You just purged.” She put on a pout, and he laughed again, shaking his head. “Play fair.”
“Can I at least come and watch you?”
Dimitri’s eyes narrowed, a grin on his lips. “Hmmm, not sure that would be a good idea.”
She lowered her eyes with a feeling of not being wanted. With a sharp yank of her arm, she flew off the bed and into his arms, her breath stolen by a deep kiss. When it ended, she had her eyes closed.
“Only because I might get distracted. Now, get that damn thought right out of your head.”
With a light flutter, she opened her eyes. “What thought?”
“That you’re not wanted.” He squeezed her with a slight shake. “I want you, in case you can’t feel right now what’s pressing up against you, which is why it’s not a good idea. I’ll be thinking of the things I want to do with you instead of his training.”
“Will you still think of them and later do?”
“Oh, yeah.” He kissed her again, moaning into her mouth as he panted softly.
“Damn. I swear I’m never going to get out of here and get to work. You feel too damn good in my arms.”
He delivered another deep kiss that left her breathless. She gulped air and told him,
“I love how you hold me. How you make me feel so safe.”
“I know.”
“How do you know?”
“We’re bonded now. Remember, I can feel your pain, just like you can feel mine, and I can sense your emotions. I’m learning all of this too, Claudia. I’ve been on my own for a very long time. Being together is going to take a lot of understanding from you and 112
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a lot of patience from me. But one thing I’m going to make very clear to you right now, I’m not letting you go. You’re my bloodmate—for life.”
She swallowed hard and nodded.
Slowly he released his hold on her. “Then I’ll see you in a few hours. I need to get some work done with Julian.”
That had her frowning, “A few hours?”
He was halfway to the door when he stopped and looked up at her. “I’m going to have to feed from you to get your blood count stable.” She made a silent ‘oh’ with her lips, and he winked. “And I’m looking forward to it.”
* * * *
“You are my leverage to get what I want.” Rage reached out, touching the tiny bundle, wrapped up tightly, sleeping in a cradle next to Renzo’s desk. “The ace in the hole.”
“What are you doing in here?”
Rage turned slowly from the baby to face the one man he wanted to rip open with his bare hands.
Renzo Ferrari stood at six foot even. He dressed and acted like a military man with a short buzz cut hairstyle without a hint of sal
t and pepper. His face showed the signs of his age, however. Wrinkles creased the skin around his eyes, the flesh along his jaw line sagged, and his lips thinned out too much. His once sharp green eyes held a trace of the madness taking over his mind, faint until he was roused.
Like always, Rage had to play things cool with the man. He had to detach himself from the hate burning a hole in the pit of his stomach. Bide my time. Soon I will be able to kill him. Soon I’ll avenge my mother.
He tossed a vial at Renzo. “It’s ready,” he stated in his detached, cold voice, the voice he practiced and had mastered just for Renzo. “Need to test it out.”
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“You should’ve tested it on that thing you had serving you,” Renzo sneered, holding the vial up to his eye. He pushed Rage out of the way, to look down at the baby.
The man smiled, touching her small head.
“I let her go.”
Renzo looked at him sharply. “Are you out of your mind!” he snapped while Rage walked over to the chair, propped his feet up on the desk and linked his fingers over his flat belly. “If you got tired of it, then you should have killed it.”
Rage almost smiled. He would have if he had put in his false teeth to keep his fangs hidden. Scraping his tongue over the sharp points, reminded him of what he was and who was responsible.
“I don’t understand why you felt you needed to keep a damn vampire’s whore in the first place. She was useless to you, unless you were fucking it?”
He wrinkled his nose in disgust, how curious Rage thought since all of the deaths started over Renzo’s twisted love of what he called a vampire’s whore. He said, “She’s more useful to me alive,” not adding he had needed her for more than fucking, something Renzo would know when the time was right.
Renzo groaned, moved away from the baby, and sat down. “She’ll go to them and tell them everything she’s seen.”
“That’s the plan,” he lied.
The old bastard glared at him. “What are you up to, Rage?”
Oh, the urge to smile, to show his fangs, and expose himself to the son-of-a-bitch, letting him see what he’d created. Rage held it back and only shrugged. Slowly, raising his head, he looked the man dead in the eye. “They have something I want this time.
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