I buried my face in his chest and enjoyed the moment of comfort. He was my rock and I missed having him closer. I wished I could talk to him about Alec, but I just wasn’t ready.
“I love you, Carter. You’ll tell me if I need to kill anyone, right?”
Even said light-heartedly, it made me flinch. I swallowed and pushed away from him, the comfort gone. Cannon had killed for me before. And almost been killed himself. My choice in men had proven to be off the charts horrid.
“Carter, I didn’t mean—”
“It’s fine. Honestly.” I forced a smile. “Go, have fun.”
He sighed. “You sure you don’t want to come?”
“Yeah. I’m going to meet up with Muddy and everyone later.” I pushed him away and waved at Jellybean and Matt. “Don’t stress about me, Cannon. You know I’d tell you if something was wrong.”
“We’ll bring you back something fun.”
I thought of the blown glass “art” he’d brought me home from a carnival in Nashville once. I never knew something shaped almost identical to a pair of balls could be considered art, but I didn’t trust his gift buying expertise after that.
“No, thanks.”
“Come on, Carter. They weren’t testicles. It was a blown glass set of planets.”
I rolled my eyes. “Get out of here.”
I stood on the porch leaning against the railing and watched them drive away, Jellybean waving ‘till they were out of sight. Instantly, I felt sadness creep over me like an afternoon shadow. It seemed that I could distract myself from the pain of being rejected by my mate, but I couldn’t move past it.
I couldn’t keep my mind from straying to thoughts of Alec and his fiancée, or my brother’s words, “Sometimes love is messy.”
16
Alec
She had a daughter. An adorable little girl whose smile could almost outshine the morning sun. Jellybean. What a sweet nickname. The child looked just like a mini version of her mom, without the weary edge. Pale blonde hair, shockingly bright blue eyes, the poutiest little pout. Cutie pie. When she’d held my hand, I’d felt my world shift.
It had gone off its axis when I saw Carter, but seeing her little girl and envisioning the three of us as a family caused my heart to ache longingly in my chest.
Carter had looked stunning in a T-shirt with no bra, stains and all. Her hair had been a nest around her head, curling and sticking out in all directions, but she hadn’t seemed to care. I’d seen her before she saw me. She’d been smiling down at her daughter, looking more carefree than I’d ever seen her. It was pure heaven to my soul. I longed for her to look at me lovingly like that.
I knew then and there that I was done trying to finagle an easy way around this situation. Done. Maybe I could successfully end the engagement with Chelsie and somehow still manage to save the business merger, but I was gambling with something too precious to gamble with. It wasn’t worth it.
Fuck the merger. All I could do was tell Chelsie the truth. Her reaction was on her.
Which was why I was sitting in the chair across from Chelsie, trying to end things with as gentle a touch as possible. I didn’t want to hurt her and, except for a few blows to her pride, I strongly suspected that she would feel any distress. She didn’t care enough about me to be hurt by losing me.
“I can’t believe you. I saw you check out that woman’s fat ass. Don’t even try to deny it. You looked at her like you were starving and she was a steak dinner. Don’t even try to say that you didn’t. I know you did!” She’d been ranting since we got back. She was riled up and she had every right to be.
“I did.”
The simple words just burned her up even more. She got scary quiet and narrowed her eyes. “Daddy isn’t going to like this.”
I sighed and leaned back into the chair. I yanked loose the tie I’d put on for Chelsie’s next planned social media photo session. My wolf rumbled in appreciation. “Daddy can react any way Daddy wants.”
She stuttered, not at all used to anyone saying they didn’t care about what her father thought. “W—what?”
“I’m sorry, Chelsie. I didn’t plan any of this, but it’s clear that this isn’t right for either of us. I’m calling off the engagement.”
She stopped pacing and her eyes slowly narrowed into dangerous slits. “Excuse me? Alec, you proposed to me!”
“Technically, you asked me to marry you. Then, after you picked out a ring, you told me how and where you wanted me to “propose.” And, exactly what I was to say. All so you could post it on Facebook Live. I just went along with it.”
“I can’t believe you’re bringing that up! We agreed not to mention that.”
“There’s no one here, Chels. It’s just us.” I ran my hands down my pants and thought of what a refreshing change it would be to not have to wear suits all the time. “Neither of us love each other. You’re beautiful, Chelsie. You’ll make some man very happy someday. It’s just not me.”
“Are you fucking serious?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“It’s that little slut, isn’t it?”
My wolf bristled and I sat up straighter, anger coursing through me. “Don’t. She isn’t the reason.”
“But she’s a reason, right?” Chelsie laughed bitterly and started moving again. She started dragging her clothes out and tossing them onto the bed. “Just like a man. What? Does she suck your dick better? I know she’s not prettier than me, so what is it?”
I stood up and moved towards the door, my blood boiling. “I’m not doing this. I’m sorry it’s ending this way, but I’m sure we’ll both be happier.”
“You won’t be happier, Alec. I’ll make sure of that. You’ll realize soon enough the mistake you made. It’ll be too late, though. I’m going to make sure you’re ruined. Daddy will destroy you.”
I barely resisted the urge to fake a shudder. “I think I’ll be fine. Goodbye, Chelsie. I’ll come back later and clean my stuff out of the room.”
I closed the door behind me just as a loud thump sounded, followed quickly by a muffled scream of frustration.
I felt bad for upsetting her, but not bad enough to go back in and try to comfort her. Free of Chelsie, a load had been lifted off my shoulders. I wanted to run to Carter and tell her, but I had to get some plans in motion first. I had an entire blueprint for a new life and I couldn’t wait to get started.
I made my way to a picnic table at the back of the property and dialed my dad.
He answered on the first ring, laughing. “Hello?”
I smiled at how happy he sounded. I didn’t think it’d be possible after Mom died when I was younger. He was a fighter, though. “Hey.”
“Twice in one week. Something big must be brewing.”
More of that same guilt nagged me. “I think it is. I broke off the engagement with Chelsie today. That undoubtedly means the business deal with Dames is dead, too.”
There was silence for a few moments and then my dad cleared his throat. “Is that what you want?”
“Yeah, Dad, it honestly is.” I looked around at all the nature around me and smiled. “I’m actually thinking of taking Patterson Furniture in a different direction. Maybe scaling down, becoming more customized. Some things I’d like to discuss with you. Oh, I’m planning to relocate, too.”
“Uh huh. This wouldn’t have anything to do with another woman, would it?”
I laughed. “I found my mate, Dad.”
The cheer from his end of the line was ridiculous. I felt his joy projected straight through the cell towers. “It’s about time! I’m so happy for you, son.”
“I kind of fucked things up. I plan on fixing them, though. I’m in a little town in New Mexico, near the Texas border. A place called Helen’s Corner. Why don’t you come down? There’s some things I want you to see here. I’ve got a host of ideas that I’m hoping you’ll come on board with.”
“New Mexico, huh, The Land of Enchantment? I’d be more than happy to. Do I get to meet th
is lovely lady that smacked some sense into you or did you screw things up that badly?”
I thought of Carter and Jellybean. “That remains to be seen. I’m going to be here trying no matter what, though.”
“Smart man.” Dad laughed and I could hear him smack his knee. “Okay. Alright. I have a few arrangements to make, but I should make it out in a few days or so. And son, you did the right thing. I’m proud of you.”
I would have thought I was too old and too accomplished for those simple words to get to me, but they did. Embarrassingly, I choked up a little and had to clear my throat. “Thanks, Dad. See you soon.”
17
Carter
I’d told Cannon a small fib. I wasn’t meeting with anyone. I had the day off and I planned to spend it trying to get my baking back in order. I needed to sort out my issues, as much as I could, and try to make something that didn’t suck. I also couldn’t get Cannon’s words out of my head. The thing about love being messy.
Unfortunately, I’d been at it all morning, and had gone through all my milk and eggs with no positive results. I’d become a baking failure. I either burned everything or got the flavors so wrong that I wished I burned it. I didn’t know what to do but keep trying.
I piled my hair up on top of my head, wiped off as much flour as I could with the kitchen towel, and ran out to Karmov’s Market on Main.
I picked up the few items I needed and headed to the checkout.
“Hey Carter, where’s the little one?” Joe Karmov, the teenage son of the owner, Karen Karmov, was working the register.
“Hiya, Joe. She’s in Burden, Texas, visiting her Uncles for a few weeks.” Joe was a nice kid, going through his awkward stage. I suspected that someday, though, his acne-riddled complexion and greasy hair would be replaced by smooth skin and thick, sandy blonde hair. If so, Joe was going to be a very handsome young man.
“Bring her by when she gets back. I’ve been saving all my root beer Jelly Bellies for her. Got an entire jar full.” I smiled a thanks as he bagged my milk and eggs for me and handed me the receipt.
I was still so focused on not allowing Alec to invade my thoughts, that I didn’t even notice him until, on my way out of the market, I bumped right smack into his wide, hard body.
He wrapped his arm around my waist to steady me and easily slipped my bags from my arms into his free hand. “In a rush?”
I gaped up at him and a breath of air escaped my mouth in an embarrassingly soft sigh. I’d just seen him earlier, but damned if my body didn’t miss him. I needed to be strong. I pulled away from him and straightened my shirt. Looking down, I swore. I still hadn’t put on nicer clothes, but I had tossed on bra. An old, shapeless bra. Alec pulled me back against his chest and smiled down at me. “You look beautiful.”
I was completely caught off guard, not just by his words, but by his actions. He was holding me in public, talking to me like we were together. A couple. Not only that, he almost seemed relaxed, and almost like a different man.
Gone was the tense set to his lips and clenched jaw of someone who was wound too tightly. In its place was an easygoing and genuine smile that stretched one side of his mouth into a slight dimple and threatened to ruin my panties.
I shook my head to clear it and frowned. “What are you doing?”
He grinned and dipped his head so he was close enough only I could hear. “I’m walking my mate home with her groceries.”
I was stunned. That was the only excuse I could give for why I let him gently goad me into walking along beside him. I noticed people looking at us as we walked and felt my face heating. All too late, I realized that I was walking down the street with an engaged man’s arm around my shoulders.
“This is wrong,” I wriggled free of his arm. “You’re engaged!”
His smile stretched farther. “I’m not.”
That stupid little part of me that held out hope jumped up to grasp those two little words. “What?”
He kept walking, forcing me to run a few paces to stay in step with him. “I broke it off with Chelsie. I was a fool. I didn’t love her. She didn’t love me, either. I was with her because of… well, it was for a business deal with her father. Which doesn’t make me sound much better, does it?”
“A business deal?”
“I’ll explain it all tonight. Is Jellybean home?”
“No.” I hesitated. “Wait. What are you doing?”
“Talking to my mate. Spending time with my mate. Carrying my mate’s groceries.” He grinned. “What are you doing?”
“Baking.” I shook my head again. “A business deal? What do you mean?”
We were already nearing my porch, so he stopped next to it and stared down at me. “I was in the middle of a business merger with her father’s company. One that would certainly have been very profitable. I own a large furniture manufacturer and her father and I were going to go into a business deal together. The merger would have included his department stores retailing my furniture all across the continent. I was trying to figure out the best way to end the engagement without scrapping the deal.”
I didn’t know how to feel about that. “Your deal was more important than your mate?”
He bent down and put my groceries on the porch steps before standing up straight and pulling me into him. “No. Not ever. From the moment I saw you, you were the only thing that mattered to me. I thought maybe I could handle things with finesse, is all. Not be the asshole breaks up with someone while they’re on an engagement trip?”
“What’s an engagement trip?”
“Exactly! Thank you. I was just trying to figure out the best course of action for all concerned. Until it finally sank into my thick head that I was hurting you. Fuck the deal. I don’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry, Carter. I’m so sorry. I want to make it up to you.”
My head throbbed as I scrambled to make sense of what he was saying. “So, you’re single?”
He shook his head. “No.”
I huffed out a breath and grabbed my grocery bags before rushing up the steps to my front door. It wasn’t locked, so I knocked it open with my hip and stepped inside, intending to slam the door in his two-timing face. Instead, when I slammed it, I caught his hand. Hard.
He grunted and his face darkened. I waited for him to scream at me, but it didn’t happen. He bit his lip and growled low in his throat as he waved his hand in front of him, but he didn’t scream.
When he noticed my face, he looked alarmed. “It’s okay. You didn’t mean to.”
I stumbled backwards, upset that I’d hurt him and embarrassed that my ex had left such a lasting impression that I expected Alec to scream in rage at me, or worse. “I’m going to put these in the kitchen and get some ice for your hand.”
“Carter, we have to talk.” Alec followed me through the house and into the kitchen, his steps heavy on the hardwood floor.
My mind was racing a mile a minute, trying to sort through everything he was throwing at me. He still wasn’t single. What the hell was that about?
I dropped the groceries on the counter and rushed to get ice from the freezer. Before I could even get the fridge door open, Alec was there, pushing it shut.
“Carter. I’m a shifter. My hand will heal.” He turned me to face him and brushed the stray hair out of my face. “Why did you shy away like I was going to hurt you?”
I stiffened my back. I didn’t want to talk about my ex. I was ashamed of how weak I’d been. What a bad choice I’d made. “Why are you here if you’re not single?”
“I’m not single because I have a mate. I’m yours, cupcake. Whether you want me right now, or not, I’m yours. And if you don’t want me, I promise you, I will win you over.”
My chest felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from it.
“Are you going to explain why you’re frightened of me? It’s not the first time I’ve seen you look at me like that.” His voice had deepened and waves of heat rolled off him. “I want to know everything, Carter.”
The way he said my name with his slight accent was my undoing. I wanted a distraction from the question, but more than that, I wanted to hear my name on his lips again and again.
Knowing I was weak for giving in to my bear, and my body’s demands, I caught the front of his shirt and pulled his face down to mine so I could devour him. When his mouth slid over mine, it was like everything wrong fell away and all was right with the world.
Alec grabbed my waist and spun me so I was sitting on the island, his big body planted firmly between my thighs, his erection as hard as marble pressing against me. “Carter…”
“More.” I pressed my mouth to his and silently begged him to take me. I needed to feel his body against mine. I needed to know he was really mine.
18
Alec
Fuck. I’d come to talk to Carter. Just talk. I owed her an explanation of why I’d been an awful mate. I wanted to assure her that I would do better. But, the feel of her soft body against mine shut my brain off. She touched me in a place that nothing else had ever reached. Not even the finest whiskey could make my head swim like she did. I was besotted.
I raked my hands up her sides, dragging her shirt as I went. Her skin felt like silk under my fingertips and the way her mouth opened in a little gasp sent me spiraling out of control. I ripped her shirt off and threw it away from us before kissing her again. Deep, hard, I plummeted my way into her mouth. The taste of cupcakes burst over my tongue when I did and I groaned before nipping her bottom lip.
She locked her legs around me, her heels digging into my ass, and ran her hands up the back of my shirt. Her nails raked down my back when I pumped my hips forward, growing the friction between us.
It was hot and wild, and out of control. Our teeth bumped, my hands shook, neither of us seemed coordinated enough to fully undress the other. It was just a desperate urgency to be closer, as close as possible.
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