“You’re great at shortstop,” Alex said. “You’re quick, and you’ve got a sure glove.”
“Thanks, but I was actually a little rusty tonight. Hopefully I’ll get up to speed after a couple of practices.”
He chuckled. “If this is how you play rusty, it’s going to be interesting to watch you when you’re back in the groove. Are you always this aggressive when you play?”
Julia felt her smile disappear. Russ had always chastised her competitive nature. He’d had no interest in sports and had belittled her desire to win and play her hardest. He’d told her that recreational softball was hardly life and death and she should dial it down a notch. Why did she feel the need to make a spectacle of herself?
Julia suddenly felt self-conscious, as if Russ was beside her, whispering in her ear. Looking down at her filthy clothes, she saw that her T-shirt was stained with dirt from her slide into second. She knew her face was probably equally dirty, and her hair had mostly come loose from her ponytail. She lifted her hand to her hair and tucked a strand behind her ear.
“Yeah, I’ve been told it’s a failing of mine. I can’t seem to help it.”
He gave her a quizzical look. “A failing? There’s nothing wrong with playing hard. How can you succeed at anything if you don’t give it your all?”
She stared at him, surprised. In his dark, smiling eyes, she saw no criticism or condescension. Just acceptance. And admiration. Her self-consciousness evaporated.
“I think I’ve got a couple of beers in my fridge. Would you like to stop by and have one?”
“Sure. That would be great. All I’ve got in my fridge right now is ketchup.”
Julia laughed, feeling ridiculously happy and carefree, despite everything going on in her life at the moment. Must be all the endorphins released during softball practice. What else could it be?
When they reached her house, she told Alex to help himself to a beer from the fridge, and then excused herself to clean up. She changed into a clean T-shirt and jeans, then washed her hands and face and brushed her shoulder-length hair into some semblance of order.
When she returned to the kitchen, Alex and Ava were sitting at the kitchen table, Alex with a can of beer in front of him and her daughter with a glass of milk. Ava chattered about her day, about her teacher and the kids in her kindergarten class. He listened attentively, as if he were vitally interested in finger painting.
“My friend Natalie said her Mommy was sick,” Ava said suddenly, her conversation abruptly veering away from the exploits of her kindergarten class. “That’s why she didn’t come to softball practice tonight.”
At the kitchen counter, Julia’s knife stilled as she cut cheddar cheese into cubes. She gave Ava a smile.
“Natalie’s dad said Edie had a headache, honey. That’s why she didn’t come out tonight.”
“Natalie said she was crying.”
She looked up sharply. “Edie was crying?”
Ava nodded solemnly. “Natalie didn’t feel like playing. She just sat on the swing.”
Alex placed his large hand on Ava’s tiny shoulder. “Sometimes a headache can feel very bad, Sweet Pea. It can make people cry.”
Julia set the plate of cheese on the table along with another containing raw vegetables and a small bowl of hummus dip, then grabbed a beer for herself from the fridge. She sat in one of the kitchen chairs, her appetite abandoning her. What was going on with Edie?
“Alex is right, honey. A migraine is a very bad headache. That’s probably what Edie has. It will go away soon.” At least she hoped so. She’d call her later and make sure she was okay.
A change of subject was in order. “You’re quite the ball player, Alex. You said you played in college?”
“Yeah. I played baseball from the time I was Ava’s age. I was crazy about it as a kid. In fact, at one point in my teens I even considered going pro.”
She could see him in the big leagues. He certainly had the height and the strength needed, along with a competitive nature that rivaled hers. “So what made you change your mind? Why did you go into medicine instead?”
He shrugged. “Getting to the big leagues was a long shot, at best. But then a couple of things happened. I hurt my knee and was out of commission for several months. And my grandfather had his first heart attack. I was impressed with the doctors and the medical staff who looked after him, and for the first time I thought seriously about doing something other than playing baseball. And my dad was a doctor. Maybe I wanted to follow in his footsteps.”
“Well, baseball’s loss is Lobster Cove’s gain. The world needs doctors more than it needs professional baseball players. Do you ever regret it?”
“You mean not pursuing a baseball career? No, not really. For the most part, I love my work. Though sometimes I think it would be nice to make the money that players in the bigs make.”
“Please, don’t talk to me about money. Try being a teacher. Then you can complain about low wages.”
He lifted his beer can and clinked it against hers. “Touché, Principal Stewart.”
“You said your grandfather had his first heart attack. He had more?”
“Yes, one more. Unfortunately, it was fatal.”
“I’m so sorry. Were you close?”
Alex took another sip of beer and then nodded. “Yeah, we were. When I was a little younger than Ava, my dad was killed in a car accident. My mother couldn’t afford the mortgage payments on our house in La Jolla on one paycheck, so she sold the house, and we moved in with Nona and Tato in Chula Vista. I missed my dad a lot, but having my grandfather in my life eased the pain for me a little.”
Julia reached for a carrot stick. “Does your grandmother still live in the same house?”
“Oh, yeah,” Alex said with a smile. “All her friends are in the neighborhood, her church is there, and with the exception of my mother, her children all live close by.”
“How many children does your grandmother have?”
“Two daughters and four sons. My mother is the youngest, and the only one who had less then four children. I’ve got twenty-four cousins, and most of them live in Chula Vista.”
Fascinating. “It must be fun, coming from a large family. My mother was an only child and my dad only has one sister. She lives in Boston. Her son, my only cousin, lives in Boston too, but I hardly know him.”
“It was great having so much family around when I was a kid. There was always a cousin or six to play with. Nona and Tato’s house always seemed to be full of people, and Nona was always cooking.”
“It sounds wonderful. So how come your mother doesn’t live in the same neighborhood where the rest of her family lives?”
He sighed and drained his beer can. “She works at UC San Diego in La Jolla, so it’s an easier commute to live there. She’s also in a more upscale neighborhood. She’s always been the kind of person who’s wanted more—more house, more clothes, more fancy vacations, you name it. You might have noticed that my last name isn’t exactly Hispanic sounding.”
She grinned. “Yes, I did notice that.”
“My mother has always found being of Mexican descent”—he glanced at Ava as if measuring his words —“difficult. She went out of her way to get out of my grandparents’ neighborhood and pass as anything but Mexican. She met my father when she first began working at the university. She was a secretary in the math department, and he was a medical student, on his way to a career in medicine.”
“And it was love at first sight?”
“Pretty much, from what I’ve heard. Unfortunately, their happily ever after didn’t last long. They were only married six years.”
He’d suffered some terrible losses at a very young age. “I’m sorry, Alex.”
He waved his hand and shrugged. “It was a long time ago.”
“Do you get along with your mother now?”
Alex sighed, his mouth twisting. “It’s… complicated. She was disappointed when I went into emergency medicine rather than speci
alizing in something more lucrative. And I’ve never hit it off with her husband Tom. She remarried when I was eleven, and we moved back to La Jolla. But I missed my grandparents and my cousins. By the time I was fourteen I was taller than Tom, and I wasn’t afraid to stand up to him anymore. We had a few”—he glanced at Ava again—“disagreements. I moved back in with Nona and Tato just before I turned fifteen. Unfortunately, my grandfather died later that year.”
He stared at his beer can as if lost in thought, and Julia felt guilty for making him remember sad events in his life. Time to change the subject once again.
“So what’s this I hear about you volunteering at the free clinic in Bar Harbor?”
“No big deal. Dr. Manning asked if I could help out, and since I don’t have much of a social life, I had the time to volunteer.”
Julia winced at his comment. “You must think life is deadly dull in Maine.”
“It’s more like I’m deadly dull. I’ve been either going to school or working crazy shifts for so long, I’ve forgotten what a social life is. I’m going to try to remedy that this summer. Joining the ball team is a good first step.”
“You’ll like our team. They’re a good bunch. You’ll have fun.”
“Then there’s you.”
Julia’s breath caught in her throat at the look in his eyes. He looked interested in her, and not just in her skills as a softball player. She couldn’t even manage to squeak out a response.
“What about me, Dr. Alex? I wanna be your friend, too,” Ava said, kneeling on her chair to lay her hand on his shoulder.
He tore his eyes away from Julia to grin at her daughter. “You are absolutely my friend, Sweet Pea.”
She launched herself into his arms, and Alex laughed as he caught her and set her on his lap.
“Whoa! Be careful, Ava. You almost fell. I don’t want to have to put a cast on your other arm.”
“But you caught me, right?”
Julia saw a range of emotions—surprise, tenderness, regret—cross his face as he cradled Ava in his arms. “Yeah, I caught you.”
“I knew you would,” she said confidently. She put her arms around his neck. Alex closed his eyes and kissed the top of her head. When he opened them again, his gaze met Julia’s. He looked confused, concerned. For the first time, it seemed, he understood that he was the object of Ava’s adoration.
The good doctor had just been blindsided by the love of a child. The question was, what were they going to do about it?
****
When Alex got home, he picked up his phone. He couldn’t put it off any longer. He had to call his mom. Talking about her with Julia and Ava had put her in the forefront of his thoughts.
He dialed her home number, and she answered after a couple of rings.
“Alex! It’s good to finally connect with you. I was beginning to think you were avoiding me.”
“Of course not. I’ve been very busy.” He hoped his nose wouldn’t grow from telling the half-truth. “How have you been?”
“I’m…umm…good.”
Alex didn’t like the hesitation in her voice. “You don’t sound very convincing.”
She laughed, but it didn’t sound particularly happy to Alex. “I’m wonderful. I can’t wait for my wonderful son to come home.”
“That’s not for several months, Mom,” he warned.
“I know, but I’ve been doing some research. If you get your application in now, you can apply for training in one of the specialties and be ready to begin by July first of next year.”
Not again. He tried to keep his voice level and calm. “Mom, we’ve talked about this before. I’m not interested in cardiology or surgery, or whatever other specialty has you so excited. I like emergency medicine, and I’m really starting to enjoy family medicine.”
“But just think of the money you could make as a surgeon or cardiologist. And you wouldn’t be working those wretched hours in the ER, trying to save gang-bangers intent on killing each other.”
“It’s not all about the money, Mom. It’s about enjoying what I do, and being totally engaged by my work.”
“How can you enjoy the stress of having someone’s life in your hands?”
Alex sighed. “I hate to break it to you, Mom, but cardiologists and surgeons hold the lives of their patients in their hands, too. The more money you make, the more stress.”
“What about dermatology? Nice and safe, good office hours.”
“Dermatology? Mom, what are you talking about?”
He heard her sigh. “I just want you to be happy, Alex. And trust me, making good money is part of being happy.”
They’d had this talk over and over again for years. It was time to put a stop to it. “Mom, listen to me. I’m not going back to school. I’ve already had years of education and training, and I’m happy with what I do. I’ve also got a mountain of debt I’m working really hard to pay off, and I don’t want to add to it. So let’s just drop the whole thing. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
“But Alex—”
“Enough! I told you, I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
“You’re making a mistake, Alejandro.”
“Enough, Mom!” Could they not even have a five-minute conversation without it turning into a shouting match? “Look, I should probably get going. I’ll call you again soon.”
“All right.” She sounded resigned, sad even. Alex’s heart twisted with guilt.
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too, honey. Goodbye.”
“Bye.”
He did love his mother. He just wished he could understand her.
Chapter Eight
The next morning Alex checked the particulars on the medical file before entering the examining room. Edie Cosgrove, thirty-three years old, three deliveries in seven years. Reason for visit today: lump in left breast.
He knocked lightly, and when he heard a muffled “Come in,” he opened the door and stepped inside. Edie Cosgrove sat on the edge of the examining table wearing a paper gown tied in the front with a plastic ribbon. Alex extended his hand.
“Hi, Edie. I’m Alex Campbell.”
Edie’s grip was strong and her smile friendly. “I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. My husband Aaron has spoken highly of your softball skills.”
The pieces clicked into place. “So you’re the Edie I’ve heard so much about. I’ve been told you’re quite the softball player.”
Her smile disappeared. “I love playing ball. I’d hoped to meet you on the diamonds rather than here.”
“That would have been my preference, too. Tell me what’s going on.”
Her hand went to her left breast. “I have a small lump, here. I breastfed all three of my children, so I was familiar with lumps that popped up and then quickly went away. But this one is different. It’s hard, for one thing, and there’s a little discomfort if I press on it. And it hasn’t gone away.”
“Are you breastfeeding now?”
“No, I finished weaning my youngest a couple of months ago. That’s when I first noticed the lump. Actually Aaron was the one who first noticed the lump,” she said, her cheeks turning pink. “I kept thinking it was going to go away like the others I’d had when I was nursing, but it hasn’t.”
“Let’s figure out what’s going on,” Alex said. “I’m going to call in a nurse, and then I’ll do a physical examination of the breast. Lie down on the table, and I’ll be back in a minute. Try to relax.”
Edie gave him a sardonic grin. “Sure, no problem.”
He returned her smile. “I’ll be right back.”
A few minutes later he returned with Susan, his nurse. Alex smiled at Edie, trying to put her at ease. “Can you lift your arms overhead? I’m going to rip the gown a little so I can do the exam.” He rubbed his hands together. “I’ll apologize in advance for the cold hands.”
“I won’t hold it against you.”
He chuckled, then ripped the gown so he could palpate
each breast. He started with the right breast and, using the pads of his fingers, moved his hand in a circular motion, starting at the nipple and moving outward until he reached nearly to the collarbone and under the armpit. He felt nothing out of the ordinary. But when he moved to the left breast, he felt a hard lump below the aureole. Edie winced slightly.
“Is that the spot you were talking about?”
“Yes.”
“It’s uncomfortable to the touch?”
“Yes.”
“Can you tell if it’s gotten any bigger since you first noticed it two months ago?”
“I don’t think so.” Edie bit her lip. “Is that a good thing?”
He smiled. “It’s always a good thing. Have you noticed any other changes?”
“I’ve lost weight recently. No matter what I eat, I keep losing. And I’m tired, but that’s probably because I’ve got three kids seven and under.” She placed her hand over her left breast. “This breast seems to have become a little bigger than the other one.”
Classic breast cancer symptoms. He tried to hide his concern with a smile. “Edie, I’m going to send you for some further testing. This lump is probably just a benign cyst of some sort, but I like to cover all my bases.”
“As any good softball player would do.”
He laughed at her comment on his unintended pun. He liked her. “Why don’t you get dressed and wait here, and I’ll come back after Susan sets you up with some appointments. Okay?”
“Okay.”
Alex saw two more patients while Susan lined up appointments for Edie. He took the information she handed him and returned to Edie’s room, knocking first before entering. She sat on the edge of her chair, her back straight and stiff. He took his seat at the desk.
“I’m sending you for a mammogram and a fine-needle biopsy. A technician will insert a very fine needle into the lump and withdraw material. Our pathologist will examine the material, and we’ll go from there.” He handed her the information about the times and places of her appointments.
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