by Gini Koch
Heaved a sigh. “Geez right back. I’m kidding. Serene was showing me one of her gadgets and it helped to have a test subject. Your rabbit volunteered.”
“Sure he did,” Lizzie muttered, as she went back into our rooms, cooing to the rabbit about how terrible parental units were and how mothers thought they were funny when they weren’t, the rest of the rabbits and the least weasels following behind.
Noted that the least weasels seemed more like medium weasels now, which might be why they were hanging out in our rooms—not enough room in the Royal Hatbox these days. Good to know they were bonding with the bunnies, too.
“It’s nice to see that your mother’s parenting style is being carried on,” Serene said. “Brian says he still has nightmares about being caught by Angela doing anything she didn’t like.”
“Which, many times, was merely breathing. Mom likes to keep everyone on their toes.” Missed my parents. Managed not to say so—Serene’s childhood and mine had been very dissimilar and there was no need to rub that in.
She nudged me. “It’s okay. Your parents were and are wonderful. You should never feel awkward about that, even though some of us had parents that were less than stellar.” She smiled. “Besides, once I met you, I got the family I’d always wanted.”
Gave her a hug. “And what a family it is.” Realized we were now fully alone in the hallway. “You know, I have a question that, since it’s just us, I feel safe in asking.”
She raised her eyebrow. “Is it about our sex life?”
Snorted a laugh. “No, and you knew it wasn’t going to be.”
She grinned. “True. I just like to joke around with you.”
“Because you can, because you know I know what the others don’t, or don’t really recognize. But that’s why I want to ask you this. Why do you think the Valentino and Price families are with us for this trip?”
“And not Jeff’s other sisters’ families, or other extended families on any side?”
“Yeah. I mean, besides the obvious ‘we like them and they aren’t traitors’ reason.”
“Especially since the younger kids from those families still don’t appear to be tainted. And ignoring all the things we’ve already been over?”
“Yeah, because they aren’t relevant to my question, really. I don’t want the ‘conspiracy’ reason, so to speak. I want what you think, why you, specifically, think they’re with us. You, like me, are an outsider who’s come into this family. You, unlike me, pay a lot of attention.”
Serene chuckled, then looked up at the ceiling. I’d seen Chuckie do this a lot—it was the universal “smart person thinking hard” position. She looked back at me after about thirty seconds. “Possibly to make a point.”
“What would that point be?”
“The good family members get to go on the fun vacation. The bad ones have to stay home.”
Pondered this. “It’s potentially valid, if we ignore the cool family members left behind.”
“If I remove any conspiracy or threat ideas, I don’t think it’s a message to the kids or the grandparents,” Serene said. “I think it’s a message to Jeff’s other sisters and brothers-in-law.”
“Well, they’re on Earth right now, doing who knows what?”
She nodded. “They are. And when we all get back, who will be lauded for having gone into space? And not just into space, but all around the galaxy? For the kids, sure, it’s a huge thing. But for Sylvia, Clarence, Marianne, and Jonathan, it’s something that sets them apart from the others. They came with Jeff on this journey. They have the risk, sure, but they also get all the glory of the trip.”
“Glory? Really?”
Serene chuckled again. “You don’t think of this as glory. You think of this as work, as us doing what’s right, what’s needed, and what’s necessary. But most people don’t think like that.”
“I suppose.” I’d been told often enough that I didn’t think like everyone else, after all.
“Trust me. Right now, while no one knows what’s happening to us? Right now, everyone’s happy they’re not with us. But the moment we’re back, alive and well, with fantastic stories to tell of new worlds discovered and new alien friends made? The ‘coolness’ of working with our enemies will seem that much less cool.”
“Or they’ll be even more bitter and extra dedicated to hurting us in any way they can.”
“That’s always the risk. However, Jonathan was borderline when you first came into the family. He wasn’t a traitor—yet. But he was definitely eyeing it, since his elder brothers-in-law were so gung ho about the purity of the race and all that. And before you argue, Chuck, Camilla, and I have the proof. But once you showed favoritism toward Marianne and Kimberly? He flipped and has been loyal to this side of the family ever since.”
“Huh. Go me, I guess. I didn’t show favoritism. Marianne was just the only sister who actually talked to me, instead of at me, when I first met the clan. And Kimmie’s a total doll. Who wouldn’t show her favoritism?”
“Again, that’s your mindset. It’s not everyone’s. And it doesn’t matter, in that sense. Jonathan stayed on the side of what we all feel is right, because of your relationship with his wife and eldest daughter. Think about it. The Price and Valentino families—all of them other than Stephanie—are on this trip with you. If that doesn’t say ‘favoritism,’ I don’t know what does.”
“But we didn’t choose them intentionally.”
“Maybe not. But that’s how it’s going to be spun, once we’re home. Presuming we arrive safe and sound and with everyone in tow.”
“Which we had damned well better. But okay, so they’re along, in your opinion, to say ‘nanner nanner’ to Jeff’s other sisters and brothers-in-law?”
“His sisters for sure. They are going to be green with envy when we get back. And if they’re mad enough at their husbands for being left out . . .”
“Gotcha. And, yeah, I guess that makes sense. If you or I are mad at Brian or Jeff, they’re going to do something about it, if only to shut us up.”
“Exactly. So, anyway, that’s my theory, for what it’s worth. Now, the key is that we save the day and get home safely.”
“Look at you, always focused on the work.”
Serene grinned. “It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it.”
CHAPTER 73
SERENE AND I HUGGED then went into our rooms. “Everything okay?” Jeff asked when I got into our bedroom.
“Yep, just needed to go over some things with Serene.”
“Yeah, I picked that up,” he said dryly. “Being an empath and all.”
“Do you think the kids are doing okay? We have a lot of empaths along, as well as imageers, and who knows what all the hybrid kids really are. None seem quite as talented as Jamie and Charlie, but that could just be because they’re doing their best to fly under the radar.” Or Jamie and ACE were ensuring that, which was what my money was on.
“Yeah, they’re fine. Christopher and I put blocks into all of them, remember? They can all function with or without their talents. They’re fine.” He pulled me to him. “Why the sudden worry?”
“Oh, I was just talking family stuff with Serene.” Leaned my head against his chest. “I’m pretty sure we’re going to arrive sometime tomorrow.”
He hugged me. “Then let’s get some sleep so we’re ready for whatever we’re facing.”
“Sounds good to me.”
We made sure Lizzie was asleep, then we had sex, just to be sure I’d be able to sleep and all that, because Jeff was a great husband that way. We wrapped around each other and Jeff fell asleep immediately.
I didn’t, but that was okay. I was comfortable and it occurred to me that now was a great time to check in with ACE, since I knew Jamie was fast asleep.
ACE, are you there?
Yes, Kitty, ACE is here.
/> I just wanted to see if you’re okay. Are Sandy and the others keeping to their promise?
Yes, they are. ACE is free to do what ACE feels is right, within the greater rules that exist.
Rules you can tell me about?
No, ACE cannot tell Kitty about those things, though ACE would like to. Just as there are other things ACE would like to tell Kitty about but cannot.
Things that are going to happen soon?
And later. There are things that ACE will have to do, but now, thanks to Kitty, ACE can do them without fear.
I’m glad. Should I be prepared for these things?
As much as Kitty can be.
Am I prepared for these things?
As much as Kitty ever is. But, ACE is not worried. Kitty always thinks right.
Good to know I remain consistent. Does this mean that you don’t have to stay inside of Jamie?
Yes, but ACE and Jamie have discussed it. ACE will stay with Jamie. It is the best way to protect Jamie and also to protect ACE. ACE has a job to do with Jamie, and that is to keep Jamie safe and from becoming—
A despot. Yeah, she told me. And I can’t argue about that, at all. I just want to be sure it’s your choice and that you don’t want to go back to Paul, or go off without a body.
No, ACE is happy where ACE is. ACE will never desert Kitty, or Jamie, or Paul. Or any of the others. All are ACE’s penguins. But ACE has to do what is best, and what is best right now is for ACE to stay with Jamie.
Then if you’re happy, I’m happy, and I’ll never desert you, either, ACE, regardless of who you are or aren’t residing inside.
Felt the warmth in my mind that was how ACE hugged me, then it was gone. Heaved a sigh, snuggled my face in between Jeff’s pecs, and fell asleep.
Woke up to the pleasant sound of Mother’s wakeup alarm. Did the usual morning routine, but as we were finishing breakfast, we got the announcement.
“Command crew to the deck, all other crew and passengers to crash couches. We will be leaving warp in fifteen minutes.”
“Or less, if this goes anything like last time,” Joe said.
“Hope it goes more smoothly,” Randy replied. “Not that that would be hard.”
“Let’s hurry up,” Jeff said, as I put my purse over my neck and picked Charlie up. “Just in case.”
We zipped everyone into their seats, ensured the animals were safe, and headed to our positions. Once we were all strapped in and Butler and the Kristie-Bot had trotted off to the safety of the crash couches—needing only to have been flung around once to see the wisdom of being strapped in—I sent a hail.
“Calling the Eknara. Eknara, can you hear me?”
Nada. Oh well, it was worth a try.
“Leaving warp in five . . .” Mother said. “Four . . . three . . .”
We all winced, prepared for something bad to happen.
“Two . . . one.”
On the count of one the pressure started again. It was very brief, however. Nice to know that the pressure was far less coming out of warp than going in. Something to look forward to, should we ever get to have another normal departure and arrival.
The pressure stopped and, as it did, we no longer saw the blur of nothing out the windshield. We saw a star in the distance and a lot of planets nearby, but only nearby in that space sense—we were far from the one that was closest to us.
“We are near the farthest planet from this sun,” Mother said. “As a precaution.”
“Smart choice. So, how do we tell if this sun is having problems?”
“Scanning,” Mother said. “But we may need to verify if the Eknara is on one of these planets, in case my sensors don’t pick up the solar disturbance properly.”
“Can the others get out of the crash couches and maybe go to the Observation Lounge?” Hey, if it was me in the couch, I’d want to see this if I could.
“Yes.”
With minimal assistance from Mother, I made the announcement for everyone to head to the Observation Lounge. I was determined the least necessary on the command deck, so I was able to zip out, make sure everyone was doing as requested, and get my kids harnessed in and strategically placed next to Gadhavi, Siler, and Buchanan. Then headed back to the command deck. Surprising no one, Chuckie, Reader, Joe, Randy, Jerry, Drax, and Mossy came with me.
Strapped back in while the extra guys took up positions near the windshield, which was now doubling as our live-action movie screen, and we all looked at this new system—none of the three we were going to had names that any of us knew of.
There were seven planets. Because this was a Drax Industrial vessel, we were able to get what was down there beamed up to our screen. The planet Mother had chosen first was uninhabited and had no spacecraft crashed on it, either.
But the second one looked typical for an early industrialized society—there were buildings and such, farmlands, lakes, rivers, and oceans. “Looks a lot like Earth,” Tito said.
“This resembles Tur somewhat, too,” Mossy said.
Then we got a glimpse of what looked like a native, from the back. “Um . . . is that a person? Like a human person?”
“It looks humanoid,” Drax said.
We zoomed in however we did that—Walker appeared to have control of this—and got a good look. We stared. We were silent. So, most likely, was the person we were looking at.
“Um . . . is that a mime?”
“It looks like a mime,” Reader replied.
“Surely not,” Chuckie said, sounding like he hoped he was right but thought Reader and I probably were. “I mean, maybe that’s just their coloration.”
“They’re mime-colored, then, because I see more of them. And they aren’t talking.”
Sure enough, there were a lot of different sized and shaped people, different skin colors, but all with white paint on their faces, black paint on top of the white paint giving them expressions, so to speak, with bright red lips, wearing black and white striped garments with white gloves.
None of them were moving their mouths in terms of speaking. They were making kissy faces and such, but no gum flapping was in evidence. They were all doing things with their hands, though—some clearly communicating, some just doing the classics of walking against the wind and being trapped inside a box.
“Mother, tour this whole planet, please and thank you. I mean, maybe we’re just seeing the Mime Village or something.”
“Something, I’ll give you that,” Jerry said.
We did a thorough fly-around. Everyone—man, woman, and child—were mimes. And they were all miming. The animals we could see were also mimes, at least, their coloration said they were.
“I think they’re born that way,” Tito said. “As in, they aren’t wearing paint, that’s just how they look.”
“God help us all,” was my contribution. Dug into my purse and pulled out my iPod. Algar was on the case—I had an Anything But Clowns! playlist queued up.
“Oh, mimes aren’t so bad,” Jeff said.
“I’m ignoring you, Jeff.”
Might not have been able to figure out how to make all the buttons work, but it was clear where the docking station was—Drax truly thought of everything. Plugged my iPod in.
“I don’t see what’s wrong with them,” Jeff insisted. “Mimes are fun and funny and can be poignant, too.”
“We may have to get a divorce.”
“Titanic Clown” by Pop Will Eat Itself came onto our airwaves. It wasn’t my husband declaring mimes evil, but it helped me relax a little.
“That’s uncalled for,” Jeff said quietly.
“She doesn’t like clowns, Jeff,” Chuckie said. “She’s not alone. Quite a lot of people suffer from coulrophobia, the unnatural fear of clowns.”
“Sorry, Jeff, and I was kidding.” Kind of. “But your acceptance of mimes rea
lly makes me wonder about you. Chuckie, it’s not an unnatural fear, it’s a smart one. Mother, other than the fact that this is the Planet of Mimes, they all seem okay. Let’s check the next nearest.”
“Unless you have something definitive on the sun,” Tim said.
“Nothing yet,” Mother replied.
“Figures,” Reader said with a sigh. “And yeah, I’m with Kitty—not a huge fan of clowns, either. Though I can handle mimes.”
“You’re a better man than I am, Gunga Din.”
We zipped to the next planet. This ship really did zip along. Which made the realization of how far we were traveling via warp all the more awe-inspiring and scary at the same time.
We circled the next planet. “This is worse than the last,” Chuckie said, as the music changed to “Harlequin” by Killing Joke. “Are those harlequins?”
“Of course they are. At least, it sure looks like it to me.” Plus, the music was definitely a confirmation as far as I was concerned. This planet’s inhabitants were all in the multicolored geometric designs I associated with a harlequin, some in what looked like tights, some in more baggy outfits, all wearing the funky, many-pointed hats with balls on the end. “Why aren’t they with the mimes? Pardon me—why are they here at all?”
“Again, nothing wrong with them,” Jeff said. “They’re pretty.”
“Pretty weird. Jeff, it’s a planet of harlequins.”
“And, as with the mimes, I think these are naturally forming,” Tito said. “I believe what we’d call their hats are actually part of their heads. And what looks like clothes is, I think, feather or fur or just skin, but it looks attached.”
Controlled a shudder, but it took effort. Chuckie wasn’t wrong—right after snakes, I found clowns, and all their clownlike offshoots, just this side of terrifying. “I hope someone’s comforting all the kids.”
“Mimes and harlequins are nice,” Jeff insisted.
“Are any of them noticing us?” Reader asked while I contemplated this horrible viewpoint of my husband’s while really considering that divorce idea.
“Not that I can tell,” Walker said.
“They aren’t reacting as such,” Tito added. “I think we’re far enough away that they can’t see us without a telescope.”