by Gini Koch
Everyone else’s expressions shared that they hadn’t thought of this either. We were currently Team Stressed Out.
Jeff ran his hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean to upset everyone. Look, stop worrying about this specifically. Let me handle that worry, okay?”
“If you insist,” Reader said. “But we’ll be prepared to run, more than we normally are, because, ultimately, our people have to come first.”
Jeff nodded. Didn’t feel any better or think that he did, either. He hugged me again. “It’s fine, baby. You just focus on being you and figuring out what the hell we’re going to do.”
“I’ll do my best, Jeff.”
“She’ll manage,” Lorraine said loyally.
Claudia nodded. “She always does.”
“Any way I can convince you to stay on the ship?” Reader asked Gower.
“None,” Gower replied, as he checked his armor. “You’re getting all of Alpha Team, both current and former, and you should be happy about that.”
We headed to the elevators because the gangplank was at the bottom of the saucer section, just aft of the front of the sports car’s nose. This time the ride was uneventful.
Wruck was going with us but, as always, he didn’t feel the need for body armor. Drax and Mossy were with him, waiting for us at the gangplank. Excuse me, the Debarking Area.
The Debarking Area was big, and it had an even bigger window where we could look out and, therefore, where those still on the ship could observe in case of issues. Drax was there to man the gangplank and Mossy was there as backup, because he didn’t feel that it was wise to hit a bronze-age society with someone who looked so different.
Couldn’t argue with his caution. Not that we had any idea of what anyone looked like, because by the time the rest of this away team arrived at the Debarking Area, there was still no one visible.
“This bodes. Sorry, but I just have to say it. Wheatles knew we were coming back for them. Why aren’t they here?”
“Many possible reasons,” Chuckie replied. “Some good, some bad.”
“They’re dead,” Christopher offered, clearly choosing Team Bad Reasons. “The natives stopped being friendly and captured them. Someone else heard them, came by, and captured or killed them.”
“Gosh, Sammy Sunshine, we’ve got it. Any good reasons you can think of?”
“They’re waiting to see just who we are,” Reader said. “They have no idea who’s inside this ship since they no longer have communications. They can’t read our alphabet, so they have no idea that the words on our ship say Distant Voyager. Kreaving has gotten everyone to hide or play dead or whatever, in case whoever’s inside this ship is an enemy, not a helper.”
“I prefer James’ reasons, in case you weren’t sure, Christopher. So, I guess it’s down the gangplank and calling yoo-hoo.”
This was the first time we were using it, and it was kind of thrilling. The gangplank, like the rest of the ship, had those pretty gold tones that meant it sparkled in the sun. It slid out as if it was unrolling from underneath—one golden plank at a time. This took less time than I’d have thought, considering how high up we were—Drax Industrial efficiency at its finest.
We got into formation. Since we were coming in a peacekeeping capacity, and since we had no visible weapons, we were in a relaxed formation that ensured an A-C was near to a human, just in case. The size of the gangplank meant that we could easily go out three at a time. Frankly, we could go out five at a time, but Reader insisted we have fewer easy targets, just in case.
So, Wruck led the way, then came Serene flanked by Reader and Tim, then me, Jeff, and Chuckie. Next came White, Gower, and Christopher, then Abigail, Mahin, Lorraine, and Claudia brought up the rear. No one came to greet us.
“Now what?” Christopher asked, as Jeff indicated that Drax should raise the gangplank.
We watched it rise back up because it was cool. From this vantage point I could see that I was right—the gangplank rolled up, then slid into its compartment.
Once it was up I waved to Drax and Mossy, then shrugged. “Now we find out where everyone is.”
CHAPTER 77
“WE SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT Butler or Maurer,” Jeff said. “I think they have navigation built in now.”
Pulled my phone out of my purse. “Conveniently . . .” Put my earbuds in and pulled up my music. Not that I was going to listen to it at this moment. But why make it harder on myself? Dialed Butler’s number.
“Kitty, are you alright?”
“We are. No one’s here and we want to go look for people, but we just realized we don’t have navigation with us. Should you come meet us?”
“I don’t know that I would be any help. While Cameron and I both do have navigation, these planets are not what we’re programmed for.” Heard someone talking. “Cameron says that he can’t determine where north is, which means that our navigation systems are not working here for whatever reason.”
“What’s he say?” Christopher asked.
“We’re as good to go as he and Cameron are. Okay, thanks, John, we’ll possibly be in touch. Or back with people. Or not. It’s all a mystery right now.”
“I’ll ask Gustav and Mother what we can do. I believe we can tap into her navigation, but I don’t want to risk causing her any issues.”
“Definitely no issues for Mother. We may have to make an extremely hasty exit. Let’s not mess with Mother at all unless we have to.” We hung up.
“What now?” Jeff asked. “I’m not wild about us splitting up.”
“We could just radiate out from the ship,” Chuckie said. “Like we were doing on Nazez.”
“That didn’t work so well,” Tim said.
“It worked like it was supposed to,” I pointed out.
“There’s a very real possibility that if these people are hiding, they’re armed in some way and will attack us first and ask who we might be later,” White pointed out.
“Well, we have to do something,” Abigail said. “Because just standing around isn’t going to cut it.”
“I could try to raise the dirt where we can’t see,” Mahin suggested.
“No,” Reader said firmly. “No wasting of anyone’s talents or energy reserves right now.”
My music turned on, presumably because Algar was running out of patience. “Shout” by Tears for Fears was the current selection and that gave me an idea. “Why don’t we do what we’d do if it was the kids hiding?”
“What’s that?” Christopher asked.
Cleared my throat and cupped my hands to my mouth. “Wheatles! Wheatles Kreaving! Wheatles Kreaving from the planet Ignotforsta and part of the crew of the stranded ship Eknara! It’s the crew from the Distant Voyager, here to rescue you! Come out, come out, wherever you are!”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Christopher muttered as I turned and shouted this in a variety of directions.
Managed not to smirk or make a snarky comment as a body stepped partially out from behind an outcropping of rocks. Looked humanoid but he was far enough away and sheltered enough by the rocks that I wasn’t able to make out a lot of definition. “Which of you are those I was speaking with?” Sounded like Kreaving.
“It’s me, Kitty.”
“I don’t know any Kitty.”
“We never told him our names,” Chuckie said. He grabbed my hand. “The rest of you stay here, and Jeff, I mean you in particular. It was the two of us,” he shouted to Kreaving as we stepped forward. “I’m Charles Reynolds, she’s Kitty Katt-Martini. We’re all here to help you.”
Kreaving stayed where he was. “Prove it’s you.”
We looked at each other. “How the hell does he expect us to do that?” Chuckie asked me.
“I may have it.” Time to go with the crazy. “Wheatles, if you actually want us to get you off this stupid rock, stop playing c
oy and get out here. Time is literally running out, because you’re not wrong—whatever hit the sun is going to do its business all over this solar system sooner as opposed to later.”
“It’s her,” he shouted to someone. “Weapons down.”
“Well, James called that right,” Chuckie said.
“So did you, not that I want to shoot these people.”
Wheatles walked toward us, followed by a lot of people who were various colors and sizes, just like humans, most with hair on their heads and some without, but who didn’t look that much like humans. What they looked like were literally apes—as in gorillas, chimps, and so forth—with no fur. Wearing nice space jumpsuits, carrying space helmets, and looking, to a person, freaked out.
They had the bigger heads—which probably indicated nice, big brains and my likely having to arrange Dazzler Singles Trips to their planet—the thicker limbs, body structures, and digits that apes had over humans. Unlike cartoon ape people, they were wearing shoes, so couldn’t compare their toes to ours, but took it on faith that they looked like an ape’s more than a human’s.
“It’s a crazy old galaxy, isn’t it?” Chuckie asked me, clearly trying not to laugh. “I think they get to win on the name. You may have to come up with something else for our species.”
“Maybe they’ll let us keep on sharing it.”
Wheatles reached us—he was gorilla in structure and, taking a look at his expression, bearing, and coloring, figured him for the silverback, likely the Commander, and someone I was never calling Wheaties unless we became very close friends or he seriously pissed me off—and he shook his head. “I thought you said you were Naked Apes. Did we misunderstand?”
“Nope. You’re just far more like true Naked Apes than we are.”
“Our evolution branched away from pure simian,” Chuckie said quickly. “So we don’t have the same body strength I’d assume you have and our body structure is slightly different, but only slightly. Otherwise, we’re probably very similar.”
Kreaving nodded. Then he put his right fist up to his left pec. “Commander Wheatles Kreaving of the Eknara from the planet of Ignotforsta, officially requesting rescue from the Distant Voyager of Earth.”
Chuckie nudged me as my music changed to “Killer Queen” by Queen. Time to do what I was pretty sure Wasim and Gadhavi would strongly suggest in this situation as well as what Algar obviously wanted.
I bowed to him. “We are Queen Katherine, Regent of Earth in the Solaris system for the Annocusal Royal Family of Alpha Four of the Alpha Centauri system, First Lady of the United States of America on Earth, Earth’s representative to the Galactic Council, and Communications Officer for the Distant Voyager, and we welcome the crew of the Eknara and will offer them safe haven and passage.”
Kreaving gaped. Then he did the down on one knee thing and bent his head. All the rest of his crew followed suit.
“Nicely done,” Chuckie said to me. “You even remembered the royal ‘we.’ I’m so proud.”
“Thank Wasim and Mister Gadhavi.” And the King of the Elves and DJs. “Um, can I please ask them to stand up now?”
Chuckie laughed. “Yes. Commander Kreaving, please rise. The Queen is extremely informal and prefers to be called Kitty, by the way.”
They did as requested. “Are you her consort?” Kreaving asked Chuckie respectfully.
Who managed to only snort a little bit of a laugh. “Ah, no. A moment.” He turned around and motioned to Jeff, who came over at hyperspeed, which caused the Ignotforstans to jump. “King Jeffrey, Regent of Earth in the Solaris system for the Annocusal Royal Family of Alpha Four of the Alpha Centauri system, President of the United States of America, and Chief Weapons Officer of the Distant Voyager, I present Commander Wheatles Kreaving of the ship Eknara from the planet Ignotforsta.”
“Please don’t bow again,” Jeff said quickly as Kreaving and crew started to bend.
“The king is also extremely informal,” Chuckie said, as Kreaving and his people straightened right back up, “and prefers to be called Jeff.”
“Thank you for coming to us, your highnesses,” Kreaving said.
“We would have been here sooner but we had a heck of time figuring out where in the galaxy you were. This system is hella remote.”
Kreaving blinked. “Ah . . .”
Winked at him. “Chuckie did say that we were extremely informal, dude. Get with the program here. The greeting is to level the playing field, so to speak, or unlevel it, or whatever works, basically. As of now, though, we’re all just people, trying to save ourselves and as many others as we can.”
“True enough, but please call me Charles or Chuck,” Chuckie said. “She’s the only one who gets to use that familiar of a nickname for me.”
Kreaving nodded. “Understood. Can you really get us out of here?”
“Your crew, absolutely. The rest? That’s the problem.” Pointed to the Distant Voyager. “Our ship is huge, and clearly bigger than yours, because we saw the wreckage, but despite its size, it’s not able to evacuate all this system. We might be able to get everyone on this planet off. Maybe.”
Kreaving shook his head. “They won’t go. Our shuttle was still intact—though it has a limited warp capacity, it can only hold six so it’s not viable to get us all out of here. But its long-range capacity is such that we were able to send a team to the other planets. While all of them were welcoming, which was somewhat surprising, none of them want to leave.”
Jeff groaned. “And, just like that, it’s worse.”
Chuckie squinted at the sun. “I’m able to see that the sun is flaring in an odd way. Can’t they?”
“Yes,” Kreaving said. “They feel it portends good things.”
“It doesn’t. That sun’s going to become a black hole, and then it’s going to become something much, much worse.” Looked around. “Is this your entire crew?”
“Yes, we’ve chosen to stay together in case help arrived.”
“Any locals hanging with you? Anyone who might actually not want to trust the portends and instead listen to the clearly more scientifically advanced visitors?”
“We crashed on this planet,” Kreaving said wryly. “Therefore, we’re not really impressing the locals.”
“Will we?” Jeff asked. “Our ship is impressive.”
“It is,” Kreaving agreed. “However, no one on any of these planets is scared. They all want to wait it out.”
Something about this was bothering me. The hundred percent thing. No group had a hundred percent who all wanted to do the same thing, ever. Sure, less advanced cultures might have more people willing to listen to the leader or high priest or whomever, but even then, there were always rebels. Even the A-Cs had rebels, few and far between though they were. I was married to one, after all.
My music changed to “Another State of Mind” by Social Distortion and it dawned on me. “Someone’s controlling them. It would make sense. Whoever is in the sun wants all that he or she can get. Keep the people, get more of their essences or whatever it is the Superiors want or need to survive.”
“The Superiors?” Kreaving shook his head. “Their star exploded hundreds of years ago.”
“Oh, well, as to that . . . have we got a story for you.”
Jeff nodded. “We do. Let’s tell it inside the Distant Voyager.”
CHAPTER 78
WE GOT THE CREW of the Eknara on board. They were traveling with fewer people than we were—who wasn’t?—but they still had twenty-five, all crew or scientific personnel. We also had the intact shuttle moved into our cargo hold, just in case, as well as anything salvageable from the remains of the Eknara, their scientific and surveying equipment in particular. Having A-Cs along, Christopher especially, meant this went quickly.
The Eknara had a ship’s doctor, but Tito did medical examinations on all of them in our medical bay just in cas
e. Possibly also because he was thrilled to finally get to actually do the job he loved. Everyone pronounced healthy though slightly dehydrated, we got them all water, then did tight quarters assignments, just in case we could convince others to get on board, so they didn’t take up all that many rooms.
I’d broken down and turned off my music when we’d gotten on board, though I’d kept my earbuds in despite a couple of meaningful looks from Jeff. I was ready to turn the music back on the moment things got stressful, which I expected at any time.
We let our people out of the Nonessential Personnel Station, aka the jail, per Lizzie. Then we all went to the mess hall, so the Ignotforstans could have a meal and we could all talk comfortably. We ate, too, just to be sociable.
Because the Eknara was a science vessel, everyone on board was trained in astrophysics and all related subjects. Meaning they were having a great time talking to Brian, Chuckie, Drax, Mossy, Mother, all our Dazzlers on Board including those who identified as housewives, and Hacker International, while the rest of us smiled politely and shut our ears off. Or perhaps that was just me.
Happily, while the Ignotforstans had never heard of humans, A-Cs, or Turleens, they didn’t seem too thrown by any of us. They knew of the Vata, but the races had never met. They’d had no interaction with the Anciannas or Z’porrah. Found all of this interesting since I’d thought the Anciannas and Z’porrah had meddled everywhere in the galaxy, and that the Galactic Council had identified every ally or enemy possible. Clearly this wasn’t the case, since we’d only run into essentially “undiscovered” or forgotten systems on this trip.
The Eknara hadn’t been carrying any children, which was a huge disappointment to our kids. However, their ship’s doctor, Setah Momac, who resembled a taller chimp, and the ship’s navigator, Bremelos Merplon, who was representing orangutans, were enamored of children, so they were making up for the lack of new age-appropriate playmates by letting all the kids hang off of them and answering all of their questions, even the impertinent ones.
They were a couple, found out almost immediately via the first impertinent question, which came from my daughter. They were not yet married, which was the second impertinent question, which came from my ward. Truly, I was Mother of the Year.