Aliens Abroad

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Aliens Abroad Page 71

by Gini Koch


  That they also looked ready for a version of the Wild West while hanging out in space was a conundrum I’d ask about once we weren’t wondering if they and the rest of the fleet of ships around us were going to try to blast us to smithereens.

  This world’s Jamie was in high boots and what looked like a leather romper, with a big bow on the top of her head, just like Minnie Mouse, only pink, not red with white polka dots. So some things were universal—in any universe, Jamie loved the color pink. She, too, was wearing gloves, which I could see because she waved at us. “I’m so glad you finally got here.”

  My Jamie shoved into my lap. Chose not to ask how she’d gotten unstrapped and away from everyone else—all twelve of us in here were pretty focused on the situation at hand, and the animals were never going to tell Jamie not to do something unless it was dangerous for her health and safety.

  “I’m glad we’re here, too,” my Jamie said. “Can you make Mommy calm down and stop getting ready to shoot us?” Knew without asking that she didn’t mean me.

  Steampunk Jamie nodded. “I’m trying.” She looked up at Chuckie. “Daddy, you need to make Mommy calm down.”

  “I can hear them, too, sweetheart,” Chuckie said. He picked her up and hugged her. “I’ll do what I can.” He handed her to Reader.

  Who hugged her and kissed her head. He looked at us suspiciously. “Charles may be willing to believe you, but I’m not.”

  “Yet,” Steampunk Jamie said. “But, Daddy, I promise, they’re here to help us.”

  “Daddy?” Jeff said. “She just called Chuck daddy.”

  Chuckie returned with this world’s version of me. She was dressed in leather pants, had two ray guns strapped to her hips, and was wearing a rather jaunty bowler hat that had goggles on it that were grandiose but still couldn’t hold a candle to the ones Chuckie was sporting. She had on a shirt with a leather corset over it, knee-high boots, and a sword strapped to her back. Like the others, she was wearing gloves.

  Chuckie’s arm was already around her waist and they joined Jamie and the guy I was now going to think of as James, just to make it easier on my brain. She put her other arm around his waist as she gave her Jamie a kiss.

  “Wow, girlfriend,” Reader said. “You look badass in Steampunk-wear.”

  “Thanks, I think. You, as always, look ready for your photoshoot. So, Cosmic Moi, am I right in thinking that you solved the issue of which of your best guy friends to marry by marrying both of them?”

  Cosmic Moi grinned. “We aren’t as uptight as our several-greats-grandparents were.”

  Heard Jeff muttering behind us. Reader laughed softly. “Jeff, in our universe I’m gay and Chuck’s in love with Nathalie. Chill out.”

  Looked at Jeff over my shoulder. He didn’t seem appeased. “What our James said, to infinity, Jeff.” Turned back to the screen. “So, do you guys recognize anyone else on our ship? It’s just the twelve of us and our animal companions, and you should be able to see all of us.”

  “Why are we being so chatty?” Siler asked from the back.

  “Because they’re us, and they’re not our enemies any more than we’re theirs.”

  “That’s not quite true,” Cosmic Moi said, voice tight. “I see one of our enemies—our biggest enemy, to be frank—sitting behind James.”

  We all looked at Jeff. Who looked as confused as the rest of us likely felt. “What? What the hell? How am I an enemy of these people?”

  “Because,” Cosmic Moi said, voice like ice, “you’re King Jeffrey of Alpha Four and what’s been forced to become the Annocusal Royal Empire, and the one who made an alliance with the Z’porrah and betrayed the entire Consortium of Aligned Systems. You’re considered Galactic Enemy Number One and we are just thrilled to pieces that we’re going to be the ones who get to kill you, you vicious, murdering scum.”

  Gini Koch used to live in Hell’s Orientation Area (aka Phoenix, Arizona) and now lives in Hotlanta (aka Atlanta, Georgia) because any kind of heat is better than any kind of cold. She works her butt off (sadly, not literally) by day and writes by night with the rest of the beautiful people. She lives with her awesome husband, four dogs (aka The Canine Death Squad), and two cats (aka The Killer Kitties). She has one very wonderful and spoiled daughter, who will still tell you she’s not as spoiled as the pets (and she’d be right).

  When she’s not writing, Gini spends her time cracking wise, staring at pictures of good looking leading men for “inspiration”, teaching her pets to “bring it”, and driving her husband insane asking, “Have I told you about this story idea yet?” She listens to every kind of music 24/7 (from Lifehouse to Pitbull and everything in between, particularly Aerosmith and Smash Mouth) and is a proud comics geek-girl willing to discuss at any time why Wolverine is the best superhero ever (even if Deadpool does get all the best lines).

  You can reach Gini via her website (www.ginikoch.com), email ([email protected]), Facebook (facebook.com/Gini.Koch), Facebook Fan Page: Hairspray & Rock ‘n’ Roll (facebook.com /GiniKochAuthor), Pinterest page (pinterest.com/ginikoch), Twitter (@GiniKoch), or her Official Fan Site, the Alien Collective Virtual HQ (thealiencollectivevirtualhq.blogspot.com/).

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