“Jessi.” Claudel acknowledged her with cool regard. “Allie has informed me that you’re upset about your personal life becoming public.”
“Is that supposed to be a question? Of course I’m upset. Why did you leak that information, Claudel? I knew you were mad about Dalton and me, but this is beneath even your ethical standards.”
“It’s news, Jessi. What is going on here is inappropriate and needs to be shared. Hopefully, any other cases of coaches taking advantage of swimmers will be uncovered.”
“Knock it off, Lemaitre.” Dalton suddenly walked through the door, exuding a cool confidence. He took the seat next to Jessi. “This is nothing more than jealousy, pure and simple. Leave Jessi alone. It’s me you want.”
“Please. Me, jealous of you? I think not.”
Dalton shrugged. “Whatever you say, buddy. In any case, there isn’t a story here, and you know it.”
“That is for the public to decide.” Claudel glared at Dalton.
“Actually,” Allie interrupted, “I don’t think it will be.” She smiled sweetly at everyone seated at the table. “Claudel, I appreciate your efforts to uncover any untoward behaviors going on in the facility, but I can assure you, there is nothing inappropriate with Jessi and Dalton’s relationship. He is no longer coaching her directly, and they’ve put aside any further romantic interaction until the Games are over.”
Claudel’s eyes widened in mock dismay. “So, you’re saying there is nothing wrong with sleeping with your coach?”
“Watch it, Lemaitre,” Sawyer growled.
“Nah, let him go.” Dalton was leaning back in his chair, looking deceptively relaxed. Only the tic in his jaw gave him away. “If he thinks ruining Jessi’s reputation will get her back, I say let him hang himself.”
“It’s not Jessi’s reputation I’m attempting to ruin here, McKinney,” Claudel spat.
“Well, don’t waste your time with mine. There’s nothing left to tarnish.” Dalton smirked as if he were completely unfazed by the prospect of bad press.
He was breaking Jessi’s heart. He was playing the nonchalant swimboy—a role he’d worked so hard to leave behind—for her sake. “Dalton, don’t,” she said forcefully. “Let Allie handle this.”
He spared her a glance, then shrugged as if he didn’t give a damn one way or the other.
“Claudel, I’m afraid you can’t have access to our swimmers if you’re going to report erroneous stories. I’ve been in touch with your agency. You can go forth with reporting this matter if you like, but I’m warning you that anything false will be refuted—and legally analyzed.”
Claudel looked at Jessi. “Do you really want me to tell everyone what I saw? If you question anything I say, I’ll tell the story of you in that hallway. America’s sweetheart feeling up her coach...that’s not exactly endorsement-winning behavior.”
Jessi was quickly tiring of this game. “I’m not particularly concerned about money at the moment, so why don’t you tell me what you want, Claudel?”
“Excuse me?” He seemed to be caught off guard.
“What do you hope to gain from this? Don’t pretend it’s about getting me back. It’s not, and you and I both know it. So let me ask again, why would you do this?”
“To get him.” Claudel pointed to Dalton.
Dalton simply raised a brow and slung his arm over his chair.
“What do you have against Dalton?” Jessi asked incredulously. “You barely even know him.” None of this was making sense.
“He has always been between us. I never knew what it was that kept you from wanting me the way you should have, but there was something that held you back,” Claudel growled. “Then I remembered how you would act when we were in college, and really any time after that, when people would mention his name or roll footage of him in the pool. You would close up. You would never say anything good or bad, just close up. You always smile, Jess. You didn’t smile when people talked about McKinney. You just looked...sad. It hit me when I was putting the footage together for the exposé.”
Sawyer threw his hands in the air. “What are you talking about, Lemaitre? Just say it, already.” Unlike Dalton, he wasn’t hiding his agitation.
“Ask Jessi. Ask her about the interview in Brazil.”
My God. She’d forgotten about that interview. She and Dalton had one awful, awkward interview together during the Brazilian Olympics. She had stared at Dalton in wide-eyed wonder throughout the entire thing. In the years since, she had cringed whenever she saw footage of it. Her friends had always made fun of her for being starstruck. They had no idea she had been in love.
Jessi remained silent. She knew exactly what kind of ammunition Claudel had. He had evidence of a previous relationship and a present one. He could play this out in a number of ways—Jessi as the not-so-innocent All-American; Dalton as a player who preyed off the affections of those he had power over.
“So you see, chéri,” Claudel said softly, “I couldn’t have you because you weren’t mine to have. You never were. You’ve been his for a long time. I don’t know the specifics, but you have been, and are, in love with that man.” He pointed at Dalton.
“Leave her alone,” Dalton said in low voice. He was no longer pretending to be bored.
“Oh, you care about her now?” Claudel shook his head. “That’s rich.”
“Okay.” Allie set both hands on the table. “This has gone far enough. Claudel, do what you want with the story. You’re cut off from the team. My office has a press release ready for anyone who wants to run this story. We aren’t denying the relationship, so you’re not going to get the ratings that come with a scandal. It’s a nonstory, Claudel. Let it go.”
“If it’s so unimportant, why are you spending so much energy burying it?” Claudel stared Allie down.
Allie leaned toward Claudel. “Because this is my job. I’m in charge of keeping weasels like you away from our athletes. You do what you want with whatever it is you think you have, but I’m warning you now, Claudel. This won’t turn out well for you.”
Claudel glared at Allie, but remained silent.
“Lemaitre, it’s been a pleasure, but I think it’s time for you to go,” Sawyer said.
Claudel smirked and rose from his chair. “Until later, then.”
Once he was gone, Jessi looked at Dalton. He didn’t meet her gaze.
Sawyer turned his attention to her. “Jessi, you’re done for the day. Dalton, let’s get back to the pool.”
Dalton pushed himself from his chair to meet Sawyer at the door. They left in silent, brooding contemplation.
Jessi looked to Allie. Her eyebrows were furrowed in sympathy.
“That wasn’t so bad, Jess. Relax. I’ll talk with Sawyer before I leave. I’ll be up to your room around seven.” She patted Jessi on the shoulder as she walked out.
Jessi sat at the table for a few more minutes. Finally, she forced herself to rise. She walked on weak legs to her room, feeling as though she was in a daze. Collapsing on her bed, Jessi revisited the meeting in her head. There were any number of issues to be concerned about—serious, career-altering issues. Jessi didn’t care about any of them. The one thing that kept playing over in her mind was what Claudel had said about the interview in Brazil. He was right. Every damn thing he’d said was true. Jessi was, and always had been, in love with Dalton.
Chapter 23
It hadn’t taken long for the first tear to fall. Once it had, the floodgates had opened, and Jessi had proceeded to sob herself into a coma-like sleep. She was startled awake by the sound of gentle knocking on her door.
Dalton wouldn’t be on the other side. Nothing about Dalton was gentle, his knock included. Trying not to be disappointed, she walked across the room.
Allie greeted her as she opened the door. “How are you doing?”
“Okay, I guess.”
“Jessi, you’re a terrible liar. Even if today wasn’t hell for you, and it was, your eyes are puffy and your skin is blotchy. You’ve
been crying.”
“Don’t forget the drool hanging from my mouth. I fell asleep after the crying jag.” Jessi smirked, but it was only a half-hearted attempt.
“You don’t have to try and be funny for me, Jessi. I’m here to listen and help in any way that I can.”
“Thanks, but you’ve done enough already. Besides, I don’t know how much more you can do.”
“Please,” Allie scoffed. Reaching into her bag, she brought out two pints of peanut butter chocolate fudge ice cream.
Jessi’s eyes popped open. “How did you get that in here?”
“I raided the coaches’ freezer.”
Despite herself, Jessi smiled. “You really think that will help?”
“Depends. Do you love him?”
Jessi sighed. “Yeah.”
“Then yes. This ice cream will help.”
“What am I going to do?” Jessi sat on the bed in defeat.
Allie sat down next to her, handing her the ice cream and a spoon. She held up a finger. “First, you’re going to let me handle the PR stuff. Second,” she continued, holding up another finger, “you’re going to listen to Sawyer, and stay away from Dalton.” Allie paused to smile. “Third, and most importantly, you’re going eat that ice cream like he dumped you.”
“But he did dump me.” Jessi whined in a surprisingly pathetic voice. She looked down into the pint cup in her lap, disgusted with herself.
“Well, yes,” Allie conceded. “I suppose he did.” She took a bite of her ice cream. “Now we just have to figure out what you’re going to do about it.”
“What do you mean?”
Allie took another bite. “Well, you could try to get him back, but there’s no point in doing that until after the Olympics. Right now, I’d say your only real option is to swim like a shark is chasing you, win gold, shove it in his face, and tell him to figure his shit out.”
Jessi stared at Allie in shock. “Did you just swear?”
“Yes. Now eat.”
It wasn’t a cure-all, but the first bite of swirly, sweet, gooey goodness did help her get past the first few hours of heartache.
“Where the fuck is my peanut butter chocolate fudge ice cream?” Dalton yelled as he rifled through the coaches’ freezer.
“You’re grumpy today,” Sawyer said from behind him.
“Don’t fuck with me.”
“Don’t talk back to me,” Sawyer warned. “You’re on thin ice as it is.”
Dalton shut the door to the freezer and leaned on it. “Well, then, if I can’t talk back to you, what the fuck to you want me to do?”
“I want you to coach.”
“I was coaching. Everything was going fine until Lemaitre showed up.”
“No. You were coaching and sleeping with one of your swimmers. That was bound to blow up one way or another.”
“Well, you know what, Sawyer? We can’t all be as perfect as you.”
“Pfft. Clearly.” Sawyer shook his head. “God, you are a fucking asshole, aren’t you?”
“Yes!” Dalton threw his hands in the air. “You knew that. I told you I would fuck this up. You made me do this anyway.”
“So you’re blaming me? Dude, you do realize how fucked up that is, right?”
“Again, yes. Yes, I do! What are you not getting about this? I am, and always have been, completely aware of my deficiencies. Why couldn’t you just leave me alone?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Probably should have.”
“I fucking hate you.” Dalton opened the refrigerator to find himself a different snack. Who on earth would steal someone else’s ice cream? This place was full of assholes.
“Just to be clear, the feeling is mutual at the moment. I’m blaming you entirely for this thing.” Sawyer made himself comfortable in a chair.
“Ass,” Dalton muttered. There was nothing else in the fridge that appealed to him. He walked over to the cabinets and started searching through them. “So, what now?”
“Now you keep your head low and hope Allie is right.”
“What about Jessi?”
“I’ll take care of Jessi.”
Dalton wanted to throw something at the bastard. Here Sawyer was, once again stepping in to play hero, while he was left in the role of villain. “That’s not your job.”
“Well, it sure as hell isn’t yours.”
Dalton didn’t miss the irony in that statement. He had been hired to help Jessi. He’d ended up hurting her. Again. “Can I at least consult with you about her stroke?”
“Oh, I expect you to. You’re going to be working double shifts. I don’t have time for this shit. Until we leave for Canada, you’re working with the flyers as a group. You’ll watch footage of Jessi and tell me what she needs to do. I have to let you have her when we’re in Canada, but until then, you’re going to pay for this, asshole.” Sawyer got up from his seat, leaving Dalton alone in the kitchen, hungry, and pissed off.
Chapter 24
Canada. The time had finally arrived. Jessi had done her best not to think about Dalton since they’d boarded the plane. The last few days had been rough, but she knew her priorities. She was here to win. She was not here to worry over a man who didn’t love her. Allie’s intervention had brought much-needed clarity to the situation. Jessi was as focused as ever.
Her resolve would be tested today. Sawyer was officially on international duty. The assistant coaches would be handling most of the face-to-face contact with the swimmers. That meant she and Dalton would be spending a lot of time together for the first time since the meeting with Claudel.
Dalton hadn’t made any effort to talk to her beyond what was required of him as a coach. That made it easier to focus on swimming. Unfortunately, even though she had known it was coming, the change in coaches left her feeling less confident. Her times had been slower the last couple of days.
“Jessi, how are you feeling?” Dalton had snuck up on her. He was holding a clipboard and avoiding eye contact.
“Good.” Short and simple was the easiest option.
He looked down at the clipboard. “Your times are slower. Is your shoulder bothering you?”
“No. It feels good.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
Seriously? He couldn’t be that clueless. “What do you think the problem is, Dalton?”
“Don’t do this, Jessi,” Dalton warned.
“Why? You worried about losing your chance at gold?” she spat.
“Do you really think that’s all I care about?”
“I don’t have any reason to think otherwise.”
“Jessi, we can’t do this right now.”
“No shit.” She started to walk away, only making it a few yards before he spoke again.
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”
Jessi stopped and turned to face him. “Yeah. Thanks. Now, you got any advice on how I should win this thing?”
“Swim fast.”
She huffed and shook her head. “Great advice. I’ll keep that in mind.” She turned to walk to the waiting room where she would stay until her heat was called. The more time she spent thinking about things, the angrier she became. She wasn’t the kind to beg for love. If Dalton didn’t want her, she needed to come to terms with that. She couldn’t do this anymore. She had a goddamn race to swim.
She pumped up the music on her iPhone and put her game face on. She wouldn’t hear them call her heat. She’d just notice people moving and move with them. She was lost to the outside world now. This was her own time and her own place. As the music pumped fast and loud, Jessi’s pulse began to pound in time. It was always like this. The music got her going. So much so that she often wished she could jump in the pool and just get it over with. She was going to beat the crap out of them anyway. Why not just do it now?
They were moving. Jessi could see the women in the slower lanes start the walk toward the blocks. She got up with them. Her swim cap was already on. She still had her warm-up jacket on as well. When she got to
the blocks, someone was there to take her stuff. She removed her jacket and handed off her phone and earbuds. She fixed her goggles, started scissoring her arms, and stared down her lane. Bring it.
“Nervous?”
Dalton turned to see Sawyer standing next to him. Until now, he’d kept his distance. “I’m not exactly calm.” Jessi hadn’t been swimming well, and it was his fault.
“Well, it will all be over soon.”
“Is it that easy for you?”
“No. But it’s the way things worked out. I can’t go back to make changes, so I might as well live with the decisions I made.” Sawyer raised an eyebrow at him.
“Thanks. I get it.”
“Do you?”
“Not now, Sawyer.”
“Okay. But soon. We have to talk about this situation eventually.”
“I’m not the one avoiding it. You’ve barely spoken to me.”
“I have a job to do, and like you said, now isn’t the time. But we will talk about it.” Sawyer took his seat. With no other options, Dalton sat down next to him, feeling like a fuck-up.
He watched Jessi make her way toward the blocks and contemplated their earlier conversation. She seemed to be bouncing back nicely, he realized bitterly. Other than being pissed at him—and swimming like shit—she didn’t appear to carry any emotional baggage from their abrupt breakup...or whatever it was. He gave up all pretense of not caring and turned his head to Sawyer. “Has she mentioned anything to you?”
“About what?”
“Don’t be a dick, dude.”
“Oh, I’ll be a dick for a while, so prepare yourself. But no. She hasn’t said a word. Have you two talked?”
“You told me to keep it strictly professional. That’s what I’ve done.”
“How has she reacted to that?”
“Fine, I guess. She avoids me whenever she can.”
She didn’t even look at him if she could help it. When she did, her eyes didn’t hold the same laughter that they used to. She stayed to herself most of the time. Wrapped up in her towel and sweats, lost in her earbuds, and lost to him. This was all supposed to be for the best, and yet, here she was, swimming as poorly as she had when they first started working together.
In the Fast Lane (Fast Series Book 1) Page 15