Ah, fuck it. It was probably better that she didn’t want anything to do with me. I wasn’t exactly the world’s most eligible bachelor, after all. And last night had been a great testament to my troubles as sleep surrounded me in stages of fitful rest. I’d woken up several times from the nightmare that had plagued me most of my life.
Though, as many times as I’d tried to deny it, when you got right down to the truth, I was a killer. I wasn’t dangerous to anyone, but yes, I’d killed. No woman in her right mind should want to be alone with me.
Kate had always tried to convince me that I was worth it, and frequently got on my case to date more often. She and I had grown up together in this town, and there were things in my past that she knew about. Unpleasant things that had miraculously managed to stay hidden thanks to my father’s quick thinking and Kate’s promise to stay quiet. When you grew up together, hung out as kids, became friends, things that maybe shouldn’t be revealed got shared. I’d never dated Kate. I’d never given her any indication that I ever wanted to be with her in any romantic sense, and I was pretty sure the feeling was mutual. We were just good friends. As we got older, she and I had gone our separate ways until recently when my father had hired her as hostess. And then, she was quick to let me know that she had a boyfriend and that they were quite serious.
Good man or not, I’d been sitting there in the small motor boat for about thirty minutes, thinking about Grace and how we’d left things the other night. Or how she’d left things. I couldn’t deny my feelings for her, and having her show up here at the inn had given me some reprieve from my guilt. Maybe I wasn’t destined to spend my days alone. Maybe I’d paid my dues. But, regardless, I’d stayed away from the restaurant as well as the lobby of the inn. She wanted space, I’d give her space. Though, now, I’d had enough. As far as I was concerned, nothing was settled. It was a goddamn miracle that she was here. For the past two months, I’d regretted not finding out where she lived. All I really knew was that her heart had been broken, and she’d been too fragile at the time for a jerk like me to put the moves on her. Well, she had to be over that asswipe by now. I understood her reluctance to be with me, though I didn’t agree with it at all. My father wasn’t the type to regulate his employees’ private social lives.
After my dive, which had turned out to be very successful, I gathered up my pack and headed up to my house where I had a small room I liked to call my office. I’d managed to collect several samples for my research and needed to get them organized. The office was really just a circular alcove off my living room encased by floor-to-ceiling windows with views of the ocean. After labeling and placing the samples in their rightful spot, my stomach began to rumble. I hadn’t eaten before the dive, and now it was close to ten o’clock. I went to my refrigerator to grab some eggs to scramble, only to realize that I’d eaten the last of them yesterday and hadn’t gone to the store. I normally ate most of my meals at the restaurant, having food readily available, but since Grace had started working there, I’d tried to keep my distance as much as possible, respecting her wishes. I’d been around, but never where she could see me. And if she did, it was just briefly. I didn’t want to make her feel self-conscious or bothered. But enough was enough. We’d have to learn to deal with each other’s presence someday. It was one thing to think about the woman, knowing I’d never see her again, but now that she was here and back in my life, I ached to be with her. I had to see her, and there was no better time than the present.
Chapter Fifteen
Grace
It was my third week on the job, and I seemed to be settling in okay. Len hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d told me that it would be busier on the weekends. Every weekend so far had been packed. No vacancies from Friday through Sunday morning, Thursday this week.
Kate had been a tremendous asset, providing backgrounds about the community and the local people, giving me information about the area that only a local person would know, and also helping me find the perfect accessories for my office. The only problem was, I couldn’t keep my eyes from searching for glimpses of Leo everywhere I went. But he kept himself scarce. It was almost as if he’d vanished from the planet. Maybe I’d been too hard on him the other night? After all, it wasn’t Leo who’d kissed me.
My ears would perk up at the mere mention of his name, and I had to stop myself on several occasions from eavesdropping on a couple of Kate’s conversations that she had with some of the locals who’d been asking about him. She was always quick to answer, assuring them that he was around, probably diving or in his office, as if she knew that for certain. I couldn’t help thinking that maybe she did. Len’s assertion about thinking that the two of them would get married someday came to my mind.
I stared at Kate as she spoke so freely about the man who consumed most of my thoughts lately and then quickly averted my eyes when she caught me staring. She smiled and approached me. “He buries himself in his work. I saw him earlier this morning taking his boat out to another cove.” I looked at her. Why was she telling me this? Had the look on my face given my emotions and thoughts away? She walked away, smiling without another word.
I went about my work, going over the schedule and making some small adjustments. I’d hired three more people as servers, and two more hostesses. They were all fitting in nicely, though Jess, one of the hostesses, had called in twice already because her daughter was sick. I couldn’t fault her for that; I just hoped that it wasn’t the start of a pattern with her. But since I’d hired two more hostesses, those times had been easy to cover. Aside from that, scheduling had become so much easier, and Kate had been very appreciative for the extra time she now had to spend at the library, which she’d confessed was her real love.
I made my daily visit to the kitchen to talk to Oscar about the day’s specials. He was the main chef, an excellent cook, and continued to surprise me every day with something new. Oscar was also a comedian of sorts. He never failed to have me in stitches by the time I left the kitchen. Apparently, he’d been a standup comic before going to culinary school. He was a master at both professions as far as I was concerned. I was still laughing when I pushed the kitchen door open to leave and collided with Leo.
“I’m sorry, are you okay?” He spoke softly, tenderly, and I wanted to wrap my arms around him and hold on for dear life. He’d latched on to my arms, steadying me. His palms on me only made me want him more with the delicate way he gently ran his fingers down my arms before letting go. My body trembled, and I struggled harder with my decision to not be with him.
“I’m fine,” I finally spoke. His tongue darted out between his full, luscious lips. Lips that I wanted to taste again, but I knew it would only complicate this job I was beginning to love.
“Good. I was just coming in to see what the specials were for today,” he said.
Oh, right, it was Wednesday: his day to fill in at the restaurant. That meant I’d be seeing him most of the day today. A small, giddy flutter rose in my stomach and shot up to my heart, an emotion that was sure to linger all day long, and one I didn’t need dangling at the base of my throat.
“Oh, me, too.” I needed to think of something quickly, a tactic to make him not be in the restaurant all day with me. I looked down at my hands that twisted at the ties of the small, black apron I wore, and added, “But, Leo, you really don’t need to keep filling in on Wednesdays now that I’ve hired more servers. I think I can handle it.”
“I’ve seen the way you handle it. I’ll keep helping out.”
I frowned. “What does that mean?”
“Grace, you can’t carry more than two plates at a time. When there’s a party of four or six, you need help.”
I didn’t care for his undesirable assessment of my wait skills. “Then maybe we should use trays.”
“We could, but then you’d have trouble lifting those and end up with back pain.”
He was right, but my heart would fair much better if he weren’t there all day on Wednesdays. “Then I’ll h
ire someone to take your place.”
“You don’t want me?”
That was a loaded question, and one I did not want to answer. The hurt look on his face gave me pause. I shook my head slightly. “It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?”
I sucked in a deep breath. There was no escaping the tug he had on my heart. I never wanted to make him feel bad or sorry that I worked at his family’s inn and restaurant. “Okay, fine. You can help. Just please, try to stay away from me.” That hadn’t come out the way I’d planned. But I guess it worked, and I swallowed the lump in my throat as his dark eyes held mine.
He nodded, keeping his gaze on mine. “Sure. If that’s what you want. I’ll try my damndest to keep my distance.”
Two months had gone by, and Leo and I skirted around each other, trying not to get in each other’s paths. But it proved more difficult each day. We’d had several encounters like the one coming out of the kitchen, and each time Leo’s hands or any part of his body made contact with me, my body trembled with fervor at his touch. My desire for him only grew stronger each day, and I feared that I wouldn’t be able to resist him much longer.
I stood in the walk-in supply closet examining the linens and made a note to order some new ones as there were several with frayed edges that needed to be replaced. Metal shelves lined each side of the small room filled with tablecloths, napkins, and a variety of other supplies. When I heard the door shut, I looked up to see Leo standing there, heat blazing behind his eyes as they took a slow drag down my front.
“Leo, what are you doing?”
“Shutting the door.”
“Yes, but why?”
“Because I want to have a private conversation with you.”
“Oh.” He looked good. I’d missed seeing his gorgeous face so close up. His dark hair was damp and hung down over his forehead. He looked like he’d just showered, and I bet he smelled good, too. “What about?”
“You and me.”
I shook my head, pulling my mind from the lusty thoughts clouding it. “I told you. There is no you and me,” I insisted.
“I don’t see it that way.” He took a couple of steps toward me, closing the short, two-foot gap between us. When he reached out and took the loose stands of my hair that hung down my neck between his fingers, my breath hitched. Then he stroked his finger down my cheek and onto my neck. My heart skipped a beat as the thrill of shivers skated down my spine. His lip twitched up on one side. “If there’s no you and me, then why do you tremble when I touch you?”
“I don’t.”
“You just did.”
“No, you’re mistaken.”
“Am I?”
I nodded, trying to calm my racing heartbeat. My hair hung loosely down my back, and he reached behind me, fisting it in his hand as he gently tugged my head back so I had to look at his dark, lust-filled eyes. His hand slipped around my waist, and he pulled me against him. Just as I’d thought, he smelled so good.
“I don’t think I am,” he whispered softly. His lips were just an inch from mine. His eyes traveled over my face to my lips then back to my eyes. “You’re going to see that you and I are right for each other. I told you we could keep it a secret if that’s what you want. I have no problem with that, though it is completely unnecessary. It was fucking hard to keep my hands off you when we were in Bora Bora, but this is impossible. I won’t continue to avoid you just to make things more comfortable for you, and you can’t keep denying that you want me just as much as I want you.”
I swallowed as he licked his lips, still so close to mine. If he kissed me, I wouldn’t have the willpower to deny him. Then, without another word, he let go of my hair and lifted his arm from my waist before turning and walking out of the closet, leaving me standing there, stunned. My knees buckled, and I had to grab the metal shelf to steady myself.
I had the distinct feeling that my life was about to get very complicated. But I needed to be strong. I didn’t know how long I could deny my feelings or rather hide my feelings for Leo. I waited inside the closed closet, unable to move. He’d rattled me, there was no doubt about that, and it took a few minutes for my heartbeat to slow back down to normal. I gathered up the frayed napkins and slowly opened the door, glancing around to see if anyone was out there. Luck was on my side and the hallway was empty, so I stepped out of the closet—just as Kate rounded the corner.
“Did you see Leo?” she asked.
“No. Why?”I shook my head to help hide the lie. My voice shook from the rush of adrenaline that Leo had caused.
She eyed me suspiciously. “Why are your cheeks so flushed? Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m fine, just a little hot flash.”
“I think you’re too young to be having those. You should go sit for a while in your office until it passes.”
“Maybe you’re right,” I agreed, wanting to get away from her and her questions. “I am feeling a little tired.” I turned from her and headed for my office, but became uneasy when I realized she’d followed me in and shut the door behind her.
She plopped down in the blue, fabric-weaved chair as if I’d invited her. She crossed her light grey, pant-covered legs as she shoved up the sleeves of her navy blue sweater to her elbows as if she were about to undertake the task of cleaning all the dishes in the kitchen. She never came across as shy and always spoke what was on her mind. Kate had the uncanny ability to own any and all situations she put herself in. Over the course of my time at the inn, Kate and I had become good friends. We’d shopped and even shared a bottle of wine and a pizza on several occasions. I liked her, but I hadn’t mentioned anything to her about Leo and the unbridled desire building around us, emotions that were getting stronger everyday. I’d never intended to tell her because there was nothing between Leo and me, and I was trying with every ounce of willpower I had to keep it that way. I didn’t want any of the employees, including Kate, to think I had gotten this job because of Leo or that I got special treatment because of him now.
Kate reached out and picked up the framed snapshot I’d taken of the view from atop the mountain in Bora Bora the day Leo had taken me up there. It was one of several pictures I’d taken while on the island. I did have one of Leo as he’d tried to imitate the native dance that night, and there was one of the two of us that a local touristy photographer had taken when we hadn’t realized it. He’d given us the picture for free because he’d said we reminded him of the perfect couple. Leo and I had looked at each other and laughed at the absurdness, knowing we’d never see each other again. At the time, I remembered feeling a bit of sadness at that. I’d kept that picture, though it was hidden away at the bottom of my underwear drawer. It was a photo that represented something I knew would never happen.
“You know,” she began quietly as she studied the picture in her hands. “I just saw Leo and he looked awfully annoyed. I asked him what was wrong, and he mumbled something about ‘women’ and stomped out the door. And now I see you sitting here all flushed with heat and since there are no other women in this building right now except for you and me, I have to assume it was you who’d gotten him all hot and bothered because it certainly wasn’t me.”
“I…don’t know what you’re talking about.” I avoided eye contact with her and stared at the photo in her hands.
“Come on, Grace. Granted, I’ve only known you for a short while, but I’ve known Leo my entire life. He’s like a brother to me so I know him fairly well, and I know when two people are so clearly falling for each other that they’re tripping over their own feet as soon the other one is anywhere within close proximity.”
I sighed and straightened the pile of frayed napkins I’d placed on the desk in front of me. I wasn’t sure why since I’d planned to throw them away. But I needed something to do with my hands. It was nice to hear Kate refer to Leo as a brother, but she was no dummy, and had caught on to my feelings for him. Was I that transparent? Did I confess or deny? I didn’t like lying, especially to a friend.
My job might be in jeopardy afterwards, but I went for the truth.
“We met in Bora Bora almost four months ago.” Her eyes widened, and I was instantly sorry I’d told her but I really hadn’t revealed anything Len didn’t already know. Yet.
“I knew it. What happened? Oh, and by the way, your secret is safe with me, not that you need to be secretive. No one around here would care. Well, actually they would care, but only because they’d be ecstatic for Leo.” She laughed as she spoke really fast. “Don’t get me wrong,” she rambled on, “Leo is the sexiest man around here and could have any woman he wants, and probably has, but he’s never been interested in anyone enough—at least that I know of—to begin a relationship with. Until now.” She smiled. “For a man with love in his last name, he’s been denying himself that very thing his entire life.”
I wasn’t quite sure what she meant by that, but maybe I should find out. In Bora Bora, Leo had mentioned something about not having the ideal childhood because of something that had happened, but he never elaborated. Maybe that’s what Kate was talking about. But I didn’t want to hear it from her, not that she would have told me. I believed she would endure a great amount of torture before betraying Leo. I’d learned over the past weeks how close they were as children. No, this would have to be a conversation I had with Leo.
But for Kate, I asked, “What makes you think he wants to have a relationship with me?”
“Grace, I saw the way he acted that first night you got here. I see the look on his face when he’s watching you. Oh, yes, he’s been watching you. Though I’m sure you didn’t notice.”
I hadn’t. I’d worried about him. I’d looked for him everywhere I’d gone over the past weeks, but I only ever saw him briefly in passing, or when I’d enter a room and he would leave. I looked at Kate, she was obviously waiting for an explanation from me. I thought it would be best to start at the beginning. “Nothing happened between us in Bora Bora. We’re just friends.”
Broken Wide Open: A Stand-Alone Romance Page 11