“I just got off the phone with my mother,” I told Kate.
“You called her?” The astonishment in Kate’s voice didn’t surprise me. She knew I hadn’t spoken to my mother for years. It was always so painful to hear the sadness in her voice. I knew the contempt the woman held for me. After all, I’d murdered her lover.
“When you went to the bathroom. It was short. Simple.” Too simple, I thought. I’d been curt even. No, “Hi, Mom” or “How are you?” Just simply, “Dad died today. He had a heart attack.” I heard her gasp on her end, and her voice cracked when she told me she was sorry as though the news had made her cry.
I focused on an old couple walking hand-in-hand in the parking lot toward their car. They looked happy as she glanced up at the man, and he bent down to kiss the top of her head. I hoped they’d received good news. A love like theirs was what I’d wanted with Grace. What I wished my own parents could have had. What I wished Grace’s mom and dad had had.
“She’ll be here toward the end of the month. She has some things to tie up at the winery and then she’ll be here. In the meantime, we’ll have a quick memorial this week. He wanted to be cremated. No point in dragging it out until Mom gets here. She doesn’t want to be here for it anyway.”
“We should close the inn and restaurant for a while.”
I nodded. I didn’t care one way or the other. Grace was gone, and so was my short-lived interest in the place.
“We don’t need to talk about this now if you don’t want to. I know it’s too soon.”
“Just handle it.” I stuck my hands in my pockets. I was done with the inn.
“Well, Grace is gone, so who’s going to manage it?” The mention of Grace’s name was like a stab to my chest, and I felt my father’s heart attack as if it were happening to me.
“You can manage it.”
“No. I can’t. You should take over. It’s your inn now.”
I’d never wanted the inn before Grace, and I certainly didn’t want it now. When Grace had been managing everything, I’d helped out more than I ever had. It had been a pleasure watching her get excited about the changes as they were implemented. Plus, I enjoyed being close to her on a daily basis. Now, I had no desire to have any part of it.
I shook my head and walked away. “Go home. I’ll call for an Uber,” I said, leaving Kate standing there without answers.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Grace
After driving for about six hours, I pulled into a Quick Stop in a small town just off the main highway. I sat in the car, gathering my thoughts. I had no clue how far I’d gone or where I was. I only knew it was another little town along the coast. I’d seen a small sign with a name on it, but I honestly couldn’t remember what it was. All I knew was that I’d driven south, and I was now in Southern California, far away from Anchor Bay and Leo.
I glanced to my right. A sign for the Sand Castle Inn hovered over a two-story building with a lot of windows. I was tired of driving and needed to rest. I thought about calling Oliver, but I didn’t have the heart to tell him about another failed romance. Besides, he and Mom were back together, and he’d tell her everything. I’d call them eventually, but not yet. I needed to pull myself together. I couldn’t run home every time there was a bump in the road. Some bump, Grace. This was more like a major sink hole.
The Sand Castle Inn looked like a nice place to hide out. It would do until I found a more permanent situation. Maybe even a job. I’d earned enough money working at D’Amoré’s to last me at least three or four months without having to work since I hadn’t had to pay rent and didn’t have many expenses. Most of my paychecks had gone straight into savings and just stayed there. I ate most meals at the restaurant or at Leo’s. It turned out he was a talented chef as well as an excellent waiter when needed and said that cooking for me made him happy. Who was I to complain?
The thought of Leo’s smile while preparing dinner for us brought on more tears, and I sucked in a deep breath to make them stop. I wiped my face and patted my cheeks and walked into the lobby to the reservation desk. With any luck, they’d have a room.
The woman at the desk smiled at me when I approached. “Welcome to The Sand Castle Inn. How may I help you?”
“Hi. I need a room if you have anything available.”
“We do. How long will you be staying with us?”
“Just a couple of nights. Until I find something more permanent.” I gave her a weak smile. It was the best I could do at the moment. “Do you have a local newspaper? “
“We sure do. Is this your first time to Grover Beach?” she asked as she reached behind her and grabbed the daily news and handed it to me.
“Yes.”
“Well, I hope you enjoy our little beach community while you’re here. I’ve put you in room 102. It has a stunning view of the ocean.”
I almost said no, and told her to find me another room. I didn’t want to even think of the ocean, let alone look at it. It would only remind me of Leo, but I simply said, “Thank you.” I could always just keep the curtains closed. I mean, really, who in their right mind would turn down a gorgeous sight?
“You can pull your car around to the right side of the building.” She pointed to my left. “It’s the closest parking to that room.”
I turned to walk to my car and noticed the small store just on the other side of the parking lot. Before heading to my room, I decided to stock up on a few things that I needed. I’d left the inn so quickly, I’d left some important things, like a toothbrush, toothpaste, and even my hair brush. I strolled down a couple of aisles, placing some things I needed, and a small bag of chips into the basket I carried on my arm. Then I came to the wine. I debated for a couple of seconds, then grabbed two bottles of a cheap cabernet and an opener. After paying, I headed to my car and then my new, temporary home.
I awoke to the sound of seagulls huoh-huoh-huohing outside. When I’d entered the hotel room yesterday, I’d planted myself face-down on the bed and hadn’t moved, having cried myself to sleep.
My life hadn’t turned out much the way I’d planned for it to, that was for sure. I’d married Craig, thinking that he was the one I’d have two kids and grow old with—a boy and a girl were what we’d talked about. We were going to get a golden retriever puppy when we returned from our honeymoon…the honeymoon where I’d met the real love of my life. I must not have been as in love with Craig as I’d thought because this thing with Leo hurt so much worse than Craig’s cheating with my best friend just three hours after saying “I do.”
I perused the classified section of the paper, hoping to find a room, maybe a job, but my heart wasn’t in it. I shoved myself off the bed and went to the sliding glass door that opened to a small balcony. I was still wearing the clothes I’d worn yesterday. My black pants hung loosely and wrinkled around my legs as the material was all stretched out at the knees and crumpled now after sleeping in them.
I came back inside and grabbed my phone to check the time. I’d been asleep longer than I’d thought. Fourteen hours. No wonder I felt so weak. I hadn’t eaten anything since I’d left D’Amoré’s.
I picked up the paper. There was an ad on the second page for pizza delivery. I called and ordered a medium pepperoni and cheese.
I poured a glass of wine from one of the bottles I hadn’t opened yesterday and sipped, waiting for the pizza to arrive. I thought about Leo and why we’d had not one, but two chances for love. And that neither of them had panned out. What a mess our lives had turned out to be.
Time was passing whether I wanted it to or not. My money wasn’t going to last forever. I’d spent most of the time at this hotel in bed. I’d gone through six bottles of wine and two pizzas over the past week. Not much else had entered my digestive system during that entire stretch. I had no desire to bathe, and I still wore my crumpled black pants and Leo’s shirt.
I was pathetic.
Nothing good would come from wallowing away in this room. I had to pick myself up out of
my grief and move on. I’d survived without Leo before, I could do it again. Though I wasn’t sure the hole he’d left in my heart would ever completely heal.
How could fate be so cruel as to make me fall in love with the man who’d taken the life of another man I’d loved? I did love Leo. I knew I must because my heart hurt so badly without him, but I’d never be able to look at him the same way again, knowing that he was the one who had taken my father’s life. I’d grown up without my dad, and it was all because of Leo.
The mysterious case of my father’s death had been broken wide open along with my heart in just a few seconds it took to glance at an old newspaper clipping. Who had placed it there? Did Kate know it was there when she’d sent us searching for furniture? Was that why she’d told me about the shed? Did she want me to find it, knowing that if I did, I’d leave Leo, thereby leaving him unattached again for her?
Now I was getting paranoid, and angry, but it felt better than being sad. I’d had enough of this. It was time to get my life back. I shrugged off the dirty pants and Leo’s shirt and stepped into the shower. The warm spray over my head was heaven-sent. As I rinsed my hair, my mind traveled back to Bora Bora when Leo had placed me under the cold shower the night I’d had that fever from sunstroke. The way his arms had wrapped around me in a tender way, and he had held me against him so I wouldn’t fall. That was the man I’d fallen for. How could he turn out to be the man who’d stolen my father’s life, my life with my father? I’d always think of Leo as my father’s murderer now. I sank down to the floor of the shower and sobbed once again.
“The room is ten-fifty a month. I’ll need first, last, and a three hundred dollar security deposit for move in,” the thirty-something woman who owned the place said. “It’s available now, but I have to tell you, there’s a lot of interest. In fact, I had a guy look at the place earlier this morning, but he said he needed to think about it. I rent on a first come, first served basis, but the truth is, I live alone in that house. I’d rather have a female living here than a man. So, if you want it, it’s yours, but you have to take possession now. I rent month-to-month. No lease. I’ll have to do a background check and all, of course, but that only takes a few minutes.”
I looked around at the small but cozy studio apartment. It was an old building attached to a larger old building that faced the street on the other side. It was clean, and this little place had an ocean view. I’d considered moving away from the beach because of the memories of Leo, but in spite of it all, I couldn’t deny the love I had for the sound of the waves breaking, and the smell of the salty air and seaweed. Ten-fifty a month was steep since I hadn’t found a job yet, but it was a lot cheaper than the Sand Castle would be if I stayed there much longer.
I unlocked the sliding glass door that led out to a small patio surrounded by a broken-down, brown wooden fence with a gate leading out to the sand. I turned to the lady. “I’ll take it.”
“Great. Come with me to the main house, and we’ll get all the paperwork done. My name is Candy Martin.”
“Nice to meet you, Candy. I’m Grace Davidson.”
I filled out all the papers, and Candy ran a quick check on me over the internet. I guess she didn’t find anything bad because she handed me the key and welcomed me as her new tenant.
I wrote her a check for the full two months and the security deposit. “Rent’s due on the third of every month and late by the tenth. Do you have much furniture?”
I shook my head. I didn’t have anything. The apartment was unfurnished. I hadn’t thought about furniture. It looked like I’d be sleeping on the floor for a while. “I’ll have to get some,” I admitted and hoped she didn’t think that was weird that I’d move into an unfurnished apartment when I didn’t have any furniture.
“I have a few things in storage. Maybe you could use some of it.”
With help from Candy and two of the neighbors—who just happened to be strong and attractive men—I had a double-size bed to sleep in and an old, blue recliner to sit in.
“If you’re looking for a job, Jax’s Bar across the street is looking for some help.” The taller of the two men, rubbed his hand over his two-day-old stubble. “Candy told me you tended bar before. I own Jax’s, and, well, my other bartender quit last week and ran away with her boyfriend, so I could use someone. Like, yesterday.”
“Oh. You’re that Jax?”
“In the flesh.” He smiled, giving me a dimpled grin that was sure to swoon the pants off most women. I had pegged him for an actor or stunt man. I was in Southern California now, closer to Hollywood, but apparently I was wrong.
“I think you just got yourself a new bartender.”
“Good. You can start tomorrow at ten thirty to get familiar with things. If you do well, I’ll give you the early evening shift, which starts at four. You’ll make the most tips at that time. I’ll pay you ten bucks an hour plus any tips you make, which, given the way you look, should be plenty. Jax’s looks like a dive bar on the outside, but it’s got some class on the inside. Mostly locals drink there, and they are going to love you.” Was he hitting on me? I suddenly had second thoughts. The last thing I needed right now was to get into another relationship. I just needed time to grieve because as much as I knew Leo was alive, my heart ached as though he had died.
I sat in my new, old apartment in my borrowed blue chair, sipping chai tea. No more wine for me, at least not when I’d need to get up and work a shift at Jax’s Bar the next day. Things seemed to be working out okay so far. I still didn’t have much of an appetite, but Candy insisted that I try some of her famous mac ‘n’ cheese. I managed to finish the entire plateful that she’d given me.
Jax’s Bar was a far cry from D’Amoré’s Inn. But beggars couldn’t be choosers. And except for Jax hinting that he’d like to take me to dinner, he was easy to work for—and I didn’t need to make any decisions since I wasn’t managing the place. I sort of liked not having so much responsibility for a change. I made less money at Jax’s, and had to use most of it to pay rent, but tending bar was much easier than managing an entire inn and restaurant, except when I found myself daydreaming and wondering what Leo was doing, which happened almost hourly.
I’d read in the paper about Len. I’d considered calling Kate to see how it had happened. The newspaper hadn’t been very specific, just that he’d suffered a sudden, massive heart attack. After an hour-long debate with myself, I decided against calling her. I didn’t want anyone to know where I was. I knew she’d want to know why I left—if she didn’t already know. I still wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. It was possible that she’d had no idea the newspaper clipping was even in that drawer. When I thought about it, how could she have? Leo had said that Len locked that furniture in the shed when he and Kate were kids. Leo hadn’t known it was there, so why would Kate? Len had been a nice man. I was sorry he’d died, and especially so suddenly.
I’d talked to Oliver and my mom several times since leaving D’Amoré’s, but when they’d asked, I’d lied to them and told them that I loved my job there and that Leo was fine. I couldn’t bring myself to tell them the truth.
Chapter Thirty
Leo
“I know you don’t want me here, Leo, but you have to realize that if you are not going to manage this inn, or take any responsibility for finding someone who will, we need to sell it. I can’t manage it from Italy.” Gina Amorelli, my mother, who hadn’t changed her name to D’Amoré, stood inside the living room of my house. My father had never changed the deed on the property, so she was now the sole owner since they’d never gotten divorced. A large detail I was having trouble grasping. I didn’t understand why they’d never divorced. But she didn’t want to manage the place any more than I did.
“We had a manager. A good one.”
“What happened to him? Or was it a her?”
“It was a her. I was in love with her. Her name is Grace.” I hit the side of my head, needing to feel the pain at the sound of her name on my lips.
“Oh. Where is she now?”
“Gone.”
“Gone? Why?”
“Because I’m a despicable man and don’t deserve her.”
“Leo, don’t say that, please. I know you’re a good man. Tell me about her.”
I closed my eyes. Did Gina deserve to know my feelings about Grace? “Why did you and Dad stay married?” I asked instead, just out of curiosity.
“Because we loved each other.”
My eyebrows rose, and I stared at her dark eyes in amazement. That wasn’t the response I’d been expecting. I’d thought maybe it was because of money.
“How can you love someone and move across the globe to get away from them?”
“I didn’t move to get away from him. It was you who I couldn’t face any longer.”
I whirled around to face her. “Jesus, Mother. You really know just the right thing to say. I’m so fucking sorry I’m such a disappointment to you.” My mother hated me because I murdered her lover. But there were still so many loose ends to that conundrum, and for the first time in my life, I wanted answers. My father had always asked me to leave the past behind and not hate her. How could I not hate her? “You had an affair. I found you wrapped in another man’s arms, screaming with pleasure. It’s your fault that I killed him. How could you cheat on Dad if you loved him? I know what love feels like, and that isn’t love. I love Grace. You want to know why she’s not here?”
Pity emanated from her eyes, but she didn’t say anything.
“She’s not here because I murdered her father.”
“What?”
“That’s right. Can you believe the irony of that? The woman I love just happens to be the daughter of your dead lover. Patrick Santini, the man I murdered, was Grace’s father.”
Broken Wide Open: A Stand-Alone Romance Page 17