His smile spread slowly across his picture perfect face. “You coming?”
“Yes.” I took the two steps I needed to reach him. Seth reached out his hand and I laced my fingers through his.
“What if it’s a girl?” I asked and, if it was even possible, his smile beamed brighter.
“Then I’ll be a lucky bastard.” He squeezed my hand and leaned in to kiss my cheek. “Just as long as you and the baby are healthy… that’s all I really care about.”
He cupped my cheek with his free hand and placed his soft lips onto mine. It was just a brief kiss, a glimpse of his soul, but it was just what I needed to get me through what would most likely be a long night.
“Let’s go,” I said, and as we walked through our bedroom door, hand in hand, I had no doubt that everything would be just fine.
SETH
“IT’S A GIRL.”
The doctor’s voice was hardly audible above the shrieks of my newborn daughter. She had so much thick, dark hair I had to laugh. The nurse unbuttoned my wife’s gown and helped the doctor lay our baby on her chest. I hadn’t let go of Tiff’s hand the entire time and, as I sucked in a ragged gulp of air, I realized I’d been holding my breath through the last sets of push… push… push. Tiffany’s eyes spilled over with tears, and I released her hand so she could cradle our baby. Our child. I swallowed past the painful lump in my throat and locked eyes with my fucking champion of a wife.
The doctor picked up a clamp and offered me the chance to cut the cord, but I declined as always. I felt it was Tiff’s job. She’d made a life: she protected her, fed her, nurtured her — she should be the one to sever that bond, not me. Tiffany took the scissors in one hand and held the baby with the other.
She brought her eyes to mine. “Will you help me hold her?” Her words were shaky as she spoke through her emotion.
I placed my hand on my daughter for the first time, and my eyes filled with tears. You’d think after the third time I’d be used to this shit, but I wasn’t. Her tiny body was too fragile, and all the years ahead of us flashed before my eyes. Icing, birthday cakes, dance recitals, and pink slippers. Tiffany cut the cord, the nurses clapped and gave us their congratulations.
“Did you decide on a name?” One of the older nurses asked as she pulled Tiff’s gown over the baby and I removed my hand.
“Violet.” Tiff’s pride could be heard in each syllable.
“Yeah?” I asked, unaware of her final choice. She had been debating between boy names and girl names obsessively for the past three weeks.
“Do you like it?”
“I love it.” I sat on the edge of the bed as Tiffany positioned the baby at her breast.
It was the most natural thing, but to me, it was a phenomenon. This small creature set against the black swirls of ink on my wife’s chest, taking life from her body — it was amazing.
“Hi, little girl,” she said, and the tears fell from her eyes in small rivers. She held the baby with her left arm and took my hand in hers. “She looks like you, I think.”
I narrowed my eyes. “How can you tell? All babies are aliens if you ask me.”
“Seth,” she scolded me with a smile.
“I’m serious. Look at her, she’s like a little old man.” I laughed and Tiffany shook her head.
“She is not, she’s adorable.” She raised my hand to the back of the baby’s head. I didn’t care that they hadn’t cleaned her up yet; she looked just as she should in my wife’s arms. “Hold her hand.”
“You’re feeding her.” My eyes fell to the miniature hand resting on her breast, and I suddenly wanted nothing more than to have her precious fingers wrapped around my own.
“It’s okay, she’s not really eating. She’s trying though.” Tiff’s hazel eyes sparkled as they met mine.
I moved my hand and dusted my thumb across the soft skin of Violet’s hand. She curled her fingers into a fist and then relaxed it again. I moved my index finger under her palm, and she instinctively wrapped her fingers around it. My heart skipped two full beats and my throat constricted.
“Hey there, little flower,” I whispered, and I heard Tiffany sniffle.
Three girls, three damn girls — I was screwed. I’d only met this little petal five fucking minutes ago, and already she had my damn number. I leaned over and kissed my wife. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Tiff’s grin was small but proud. “Remember, my heart—”
“Is your heart. Always, Angel, now…” I brushed my lips against hers. “… and forever still.”
PART THREE
Full House
Todd and Lily
“I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.”
Jane Austen
TODD
THE FUZZY, WHITE COTTONWOOD pollen was forming a drift along the west side of the house. The heat was fucking unreal for mid-June, and I should’ve headed inside, but instead, I allowed the dry heat to whip through the truck cab as I listened to the last bit of one of my favorite songs. It was just a little after five, and I could hear the kids playing in the backyard. Seth’s SUV was parked in the street behind Sawyer and Lizzie’s Jeep Grand Cherokee. I ran my hands through my thick salt and pepper hair and a few heavy strands flopped into my eyes. I refused to trim it; it was too shaggy for a man who was forty-eight, but I didn’t give a shit.
The smell of the grill sifted through the truck. Lily had secretly planned this anniversary party; well, she thought it was a secret, but Seth accidentally slipped up and said something at the studio last week. I’d never ruin Lily’s surprise, though. She worked too hard on a daily basis. Six kids — six damn kids. She was my warrior. PTA, driver’s licenses, proms, and, our two oldest, Molly and Lyric, were in college. Even though Molly was her step-daughter, you’d never know it. Blood or not, Lily loved each kid the same. She loved with the biggest fucking heart you’d ever seen.
My lips pulled into a wide smile as my baby ran around the corner of the house. Pepper was just as hot tempered as her daddy and just as beautiful as her mom. Her calico eyes found mine through the windshield, and her crazy ass red curls blew in the wind as she gave me a mischievous smile. Out of all the kids, she looked the most like Lily. The red hair, the freckles, she had it in spades. The rest of the kids had light strawberry blonde hair, but Pepper, her hair was like fire, and it didn’t help that she was ten going on twenty. My little rebel — I was in deep with this one.
She ran to the driver's side door and snickered. “Mom put me on the lookout.”
I turned off the engine and opened the door. Pepper backed away as I stepped from the vehicle. “Oh yeah? For what?” I was a horrible liar. My lips twitched as she narrowed her eyes.
“Uncle Seth said you knew about the party. He told Mom, and she wasn’t mad. She said, ‘that figures’ and then punched him in the arm.” Pepper laughed and pushed her hair behind her ears. “She told me to have you come straight to the backyard. Your present is inside, and she doesn’t want you to see it.” Her eyes grew wide and she chewed her bottom lip.
“Lead the way.” I took her little hand in mine as we moved toward the gate to the backyard.
Excitement filled my chest. Molly lived down south now for school, and I’d figured she’d most likely come home for our anniversary. I missed her so much when she was away, but Dixie State had a spot in their nursing program so she took it. Joint custody, back and forth between me and Emma for most of her life. Every other holiday, it was rough, but now that she was an adult, she chose to live with us when she was home from school. She’d said it was because she wanted to be with her brothers and sisters, but I liked to pretend it was because she liked me better. I got along really well with Emma’s husband and Molly’s step-dad, Mark, but Molly was my blood. I’d missed out on her beginning, and I’d made myself a promise I’d never miss out on any more time with her.
“Happy anniversary.” Everyone yelled in unison, and I laughed.
Pepper giggled
and I dropped her hand just to grab my chest in mock surprise.
“Don’t even try to pretend.” Lily pointed at me with a sideways smirk as she approached me.
Her red curls were pulled up, and the long, light blue, cotton, strapless summer dress she wore dusted the grass and hugged her perfect curves. Even after all those babies, she was still just as sexy. “Happy anniversary,” she whispered in my ear as I pulled her into a hug.
“Thank you, baby.” I kissed her on the mouth, and the cat calls came. You’d think a bunch of grown ass adults wouldn’t bother a man kissing his wife. “Can’t a man love on his wife in peace?” I smiled as I pulled away, and Lily’s eyes glittered in the sunlight. “Sorry Seth messed up the surprise.”
“It’s okay.” She shrugged. “Your present will be surprise enough, and that’s all that matters.”
I kissed her again, this time just on the cheek, before I raised my gaze to the small gathering. Claire, my daughter, had just graduated high school this year, and she looked so grown up sitting on the small swing set that we still had in the yard. The wood was splintered with weather and age, but we’d kept it for Pepper. Now, she too had outgrown it. Sky and Remy, my two sons, were throwing a football back and forth. Seth, Tiff, Sawyer, and Liz all stood on the deck drinking beers, and had goofy-ass smiles on their faces.
“Where’s Lyric?” I asked.
“He’s inside with Annie and Molly.”
“She came. I had a feeling she would.” My smile was so big my damn cheeks hurt.
Lily took my hand in hers and squeezed. “She did. I’m sorry Colby and Cam didn’t make it, though.”
“If it came between Colby and a cruise to the Bahamas… the Bahamas would win every time.” I chuckled, and Lily hit me with her free hand. “Besides, it’s our turn next.”
She grinned. “I can’t wait.”
I’d purchased two tickets for an Alaskan cruise next month. Unlike Lily, I couldn’t wait till our anniversary and had given her the gift the day I bought the tickets.
“Hey, brother, congrats on eighteen years.” Sawyer clapped my shoulder with his hand. He might be older than me, but he was still strong as hell.
I leaned in to kiss Liz on the cheek. “Thanks,” I said as I pulled away. “Hey there, Lizzie.”
“Happy anniversary. Eighteen years, are you that old already?” Her smile spread smoothly across her face. Her dark hair was down, and hung over her right shoulder, but it too had started to lighten with gray over the past couple of years.
“I’m pretty sure you turned forty-eight this year, Lizzie-Bean. Time goes way too fast, it’s no joke.” I smirked and she frowned.
“Don’t I know it? I can’t believe Annie and Lyric are in college already. We’re almost fifty,” Seth said just before taking a swig of beer.
“Fifty is the new forty,” Tiffany said as she leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.
“Easy for you to say, Tiff, you look just the same as the day I freaking walked into Blue.” Lily giggled, and Liz nodded her head.
“You never age,” Lizzie spoke with a bit of wonder, and Seth snickered.
“I’m a lucky bastard.” Seth’s grin was wicked as Tiff bumped him with her hip.
“Yeah you are.” She sipped her beer. “It’s the ink. It hides all flaws.”
Seth’s smile dimmed. “I love your flaws, Angel.”
“Is this the part where I puke?” I shook my head. I loved giving Seth shit. He was such a hard, stone-faced man, but when it came to his wife, he was all love, glitter, and fucking rainbows.
“Jesus, they never grow up, do they?” Tiff laughed, and Lizzie and Lily followed suit.
“Nope. I refuse.” I pulled Lily close and brought my lips to hers. She was everything sweet and, kissing her, it was just as hot as the first time I’d kissed her with her ass pressed up against my desk back at Blue.
Someone cleared their throat.
“I do believe the children are present.” My son Sky’s voice shook with humor.
I pulled away from my wife’s full lips and gave him my best glare. He held his hands up with a small smile as he walked past us and grabbed a Coke from the cooler. “Smart ass.”
Lily smacked my chest. “Todd, language.”
“Sorry, baby.”
LILY
MY HEAD WAS STILL swimming. I’d barely gotten the final picture hung before Todd had arrived. I’d been lucky, though; we had a full house and a whole lot of hands on the job. Todd’s surprise man cave was just as I had envisioned it. The boys, Lyric, Sky, and Remy, had finished painting the room around noon. Sawyer, Seth, and Lizzie had brought the instruments and amps around three. It was so hot the paint almost dried quicker than we could slap it on the walls, which was freaking me out at first, but had become grateful for as I’d placed the final nail in the wall. I’d bought all of Todd’s top ten favorite bands of all time on vinyl and had the records framed. After the boys set it up, it was like he had his own little mini-studio.
He was always so busy making everyone else’s dreams come true, and I wanted him to have his time in the spotlight, even if it was just in the basement a few hours a week. Being a stay at home mom to six children wasn’t something that I planned. Having four kids, each two years apart, and then a surprise three years later, as well as the balancing of Molly’s schedule between two homes, I’d had to quit my full time teaching job just to keep up with everything. But, Todd knew how much I needed it, how I loved to create, so I opened our house and started teaching kids how to play the piano. Being a mom, getting to be a part of my kids’ lives — it wasn’t the stage I’d ever expected to play on, but my family, they were my best piece of work.
“Where’s Violet and Liv?” Todd asked Seth as he grabbed a beer from the cooler.
“Violet has a cold, so she’s at home with Livvie.” Tiff shook her head before she smiled. “It’s life. How was work?”
“Good. Picking up the extra staff this year was the best idea. The label is getting too big. The New York office called. They were curious about some talent in—”
“No shop talk.” I smiled and wrapped my arm around my husband’s waist. He was still muscular; sure he’d softened a bit around the tummy, but so had I. Time was a fickle bitch, but when it came to us, I never worried, he still loved me with everything that he had. Todd’s passion, if possible, only got stronger with each passing year.
“She’s right, I’m starving anyway. Your wife put us to work,” Seth groaned.
“You, shut your face!” I warned Seth if he gave away another surprise he’d be voted off the island for good this time.
“Mom!” Claire giggled as she stepped onto the deck. “Manners.”
“When did our kids start telling us what to do?” Todd’s tone was laced with sarcasm.
“Um, the day I was born,” Claire sassed, and I rolled my eyes.
“That is the most truth I’ve heard all day. Sailor is the worst. She thinks because she is an only child she can tell us all the time how to parent her.” Liz’s brows narrowed and she shook her head.
“How is she liking Oxford?” Claire asked.
Sailor was crazy smart. She loved art, literature, and history; she was good at everything she did. Elizabeth had a cancer scare when Sailor was just five years old. She and Soy had had a hard time conceiving again. They’d tried and tried. They took every medicine and every test you could think of; still nothing. It was during one of her many doctor visits that they’d found a tumor in her uterus. It was small, and they’d caught it early but she’d had to have a total hysterectomy. Sometimes I wondered why the Bryants had it so hard — their life, it was always met with obstacle after obstacle, but with each down, they made sure the ride up was filled with joy. They took everything that was thrown at them and said, “give me another”. Maybe it was because they were so strong, or maybe the universe had something spectacular planned for them; either way, they lived happily and their daughter got all their attention. Sailor had been the vale
dictorian of her class, and her determination got her what she’d wanted— an overseas education.
“She loves it. She’s working on her Master’s.” Liz’s eyes met Sawyer’s as he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close.
“History of Art. She’s really found herself there. In fact, I think she’s picking up a British accent.” Sawyer chuckled.
“I’d love to go to England, Spain… Europe.” Claire’s brows narrowed. “Utah is so boring.”
“Go grab the potato salad.” I ignored her whining.
“But—”
“We can discuss all things foreign after we eat, I’m starving.” I gave her the best mom stare down I had in me. She’d taken Spanish language classes in high school and had been dying for a trip to Spain; she spoke Spanish fluently and wanted to study modern language in college. Claire didn’t know it yet, but Todd and I had saved and were sending her with Annie to Barcelona in the fall for a three-week immersion study.
She moaned as usual, but did as she was told.
“Should we eat?” I asked.
The cook-out was just as I hoped. Having everyone together was just what Todd needed. He’d never admit it, but his age, time — it was getting to him. He worried about all the kids, their futures, and ours. Todd needed a day to just be, to relax, have a beer with his friends, and see his life for what it was — a well-written song.
TODD
THE SUN WAS JUST setting; the smell of sage brush filled my lungs as I took a deep breath and sat next to Molly on the bottom stair of the deck. Everyone, including the kids, were lying on blankets as they watched a movie off the side of the house. I’d had that old projector for years, and I was surprised it still worked. Goonies was their choice tonight. That movie was so damn old, but they loved it. It was sheer fucking good luck my old Blu-ray player still worked.
“Dad?” Molly’s voice was deeper than most girls, a little too womanly if you asked me.
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