by Chloe Maddox
It sounded like a woman’s voice.
I tried not to let that get to me. After all, it wasn’t any concern of mine. It’s not like we were exclusive or anything.
My phone began to ring downstairs, and I lightly took the steps, not wanting to disturb him. Chris stood with his back to me as he spoke to whoever was on the other side of the door. When he glanced behind him and spotted me, he froze and angled his body to block whoever was on the other side.
Okay, that seemed a bit excessive. What did he think I was going to do? Tear her eyes out or something?
I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion as I groped around for my phone, and I finally found it wedged between the couch and the pillow. Leanna had texted me, so I shot her a quick text as Chris bade whoever it was goodbye.
“Sorry about that,” he said, apologetically as his eyes danced around the room. He looked slightly guilty as if he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
“That’s okay.” I shrugged as I slipped my phone into my pocket. “Well, I guess I’d better get going.”
“Why?” he asked, confusion marring his features.
“You’ve got things to do, and I really don’t want to intrude.” I avoided looking at him as I began to look for my shoes and my purse.
I didn’t mind a fun fling, but landing in the middle of some kind of threesome or whatever arrangement he had going on was not on my to-do list.
“You’re not intruding,” he insisted as he strode towards me. “Be brave and stay Roxy. Try something risky.”
I wheeled around to face him, my eyebrow climbing up to my hairline. “Look, I really don’t want to get in the middle.”
“Middle of what?”
I gestured between him and the door. “Whatever is happening there.”
He flicked his gaze towards the door then back to me. “Nothing is happening there.”
“I thought we agreed that we weren’t going to lie to one another. Look, you don’t owe me any explanations if you don’t want to share, but please don’t lie to me. I’ve had enough lies to last me a lifetime.”
“I’m not lying.” His eyes were shuttered and dark, contemplative as they rested on me, gone was the earlier playfulness, and in its place was steely seriousness.
“Okay, well as I said I’m not going to get caught up here.”
I made a move, but he wrapped his arm around my waist until I was forced to look up at him. “What?”
“Why are you running away?”
“I’m not running away,” I said, coldly. “I just don’t care for dishonesty.”
“And I already told you I’m not being dishonest.”
“And I’m supposed to take you at your word?”
“Yes.”
“Why should I?”
“Because I haven’t given you a reason not to.”
He had me there, but still. A lie of omission was still a lie.
“You’re acting shady as hell, Chris. Maybe you don’t want to share what that woman means to you, and that’s fine, that’s your prerogative, but don’t pretend like I didn’t see her,” I pointed out as I squirmed against him. “It’s obvious from the way you were conversing that you two have a history together.”
His eyes blazed with fury as his hands dropped from my waist. “You think you’ve got me all figured out now?”
“I don’t, and I wasn’t trying to assume anything,” I responded, hotly. “But you can’t back me into a corner and then resist when I do the same to you.”
“You think that because we fucked that you have the right to know these details about my life?”
Before I realized what had happened, my hand connected with his face, and the crack was heard across the room as I saw the angry welt across his face. I don’t know who was more stunned that I slapped him.
He just stared at me wordlessly, a muscle ticking in his jaw, and his expression impassive.
“How dare you?” I hissed. “You want to go around calling people cowards for not facing what they’re afraid of. You, Christopher Davis, are the biggest coward of all because you can’t even look me in the eye and be honest about it.”
Before he could say another word, I spun on my heel threw the door open and marched down the steps to my car. I threw my purse and shoes on the seat next to me, and I fumed as I angrily turned the key to start the ignition.
I cursed and began to pound the wheel as the car idled then stopped. I tried again as I tried not to look at the front door to see if he followed me or not. When the car finally roared to life, I didn’t give myself a chance to think as I backed out and drove away. I noticed a faint outline in my rearview mirror, but I resisted the impulse to turn and check as I dashed away the tears that leaked from my eyes.
Goddamn infuriating man.
***
“Whoa, what’s the matter with you?” Leanna asked as she came out of the kitchen in her pajamas and fluffy slippers.
I scowled in her general direction as I slammed the door shut and dropped my bag to the ground. Frustrated, I kicked it out of the way and began to curse under my breath.
“Hey Jekyl and Hyde, what’s up?” Leanna carefully placed the bowl of cereal on the counter, sidestepped around the bag, and peered at me cautiously.
“I’m not in the mood Lea,” I responded as I huffed in irritation and headed towards the bathroom. Why was I crying in the car anyway?
It’s not like I knew Chris that well.
Just because we had one amazing night together doesn’t mean that we could’ve continued. At the end of the day, it surmounted to nothing if we couldn’t have honesty between us. Didn’t stop me from going ahead and jumping with both eyes closed.
Again.
I always did that.
Every goddamn time.
It’s like I never learned.
“I can see that,” she commented as she followed me into the bathroom. I viciously began to tear at my clothes, taking my anger out on them. I didn’t want this outfit on me or anywhere near me.
It was what I was wearing when I drove to his house last night when I shouldn’t have. The entire ride there I kept coming up with excuses to turn around and just apologize to my boss. I could’ve handled his lecture, the disappointment, but eventually it would’ve died down, and it would’ve been water under the bridge.
I had no idea what possessed me to keep driving.
Maybe it was curiosity, or perhaps it was my libido.
Probably a mixture of both.
Regardless, the reason no longer mattered. I’d gone ahead and done it, and I had no one to blame but myself for the mess I was in.
Once I stripped down to my underwear, I reached into the shower and turned on the knob.
“Do you mind?” I asked Leanna pointedly.
“Not at all.” She waved my protest away as she continued to look at me as if I’d grown three heads. “You don’t have anything I don’t have, girl.”
I shook my head, a smile tugging on the corner of my lips. “Lea, how could you joke at a moment like this?”
“Honey, you need it the most at a moment like this, trust me. What happened?” Leanna inquired, sympathetically.
“Chris,” I sighed as I leaned my head against the sink.
“I thought things went alright when you didn’t come home last night,” she ventured, hesitantly.
“I thought so too until this morning,” I tried not to let her hear the catch in my voice. After all, there was no reason to get so worked up about a guy I barely knew.
Right?
“Wait a second, Roxanne Ray Muller, is that a hickey?” Leanna was examining my shoulder with renewed interest, a mischievous sparkle in her eye.
“Maybe.” I shifted self-consciously. “What does it matter?”
“Because it seems like things went quite well before they went south,” Leanna pointed out matter of factly.
I felt myself all the way down to my toes. “That’s beside the point.”
Leanna snickered.
“I haven’t seen you blush this much since college. I need to hear all about these details obviously, and then we’ll go into why I need to pull out my shotgun.”
I choked back a laugh in spite of myself. “You really are something else, Lea.”
“Get into the shower already, so you can tell me the juicy details, so I get to enjoy them before I kill him.” Leanna practically shoved me into the shower amidst my peals of laughter.
Thus, I began to take my shower while recounting the story of my night with Chris Davis.
***
We stood in my room an hour later while I towel dried my hair, and Leanna gazed at me seriously.
“I mean, are you absolutely sure that’s what he said?” Leanna asked, for what felt like the millionth time.
“It’s not like I could’ve confused it with something else, Lea. Yes, that’s what he said.”
Leanna pursed her lips. “That was an asshole comment to make, I’ll give you that, but maybe he had a good explanation.”
“He doesn’t owe me an explanation, Lea, but I don’t want lies. That’s my whole issue. You know how I feel about dishonesty,” I reasoned. “Even if we all have is this beautiful night together—”
“Which isn’t what you want,” Leanna interrupted.
“Yes, well, it doesn’t matter now, does it? We have to at least level with each other like mature adults, right?”
“Right. Roxy, you’re my best friend, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, but I really don’t want to damage that pretty face of his. If you tell me to put the hurt on him, I will harm any other part of his body,” Leanna offered.
I threw my head back and began to laugh. The kind of laughter that made my stomach ache in a good way.
“Oh, Lea. That’s nice of you to offer, but no. There would be no point.”
“It would make you feel better, and I know it would make me feel better,” Leanna pointed out. “Nobody hurts my girl and gets away with it.”
I gave her a grateful look. “See, why can’t guys have the same attitude?”
“Beats me, honey. It’s a DNA thing, I think.”
“I guess,” I said as I began to brush my hair, trying my best to untangle the knots.
“He really messed up, huh?”
“Yeah, he really did.”
“So you’re telling me if he shows up right now, you wouldn’t forgive him?” Leanna raised an eyebrow as she gave me a pointed look.
“It better be one hell of an apology, and he’d better give a darn good reason for what he did,” I responded as I gathered my hair into a messy bun atop my head.
“Fair enough, so do you want to watch The Voice and drool over Adam Levine?”
“Does this offer include pizza and ice cream?”
“And there’s beer in the fridge,” Leanna added.
“Who needs guys when I’ve got you Lea?”
“That’s what I keep saying.”
***
I clutched my sides as I wiped the tears off my face.
“You have to admit this season is awesome,” Leanna commented from the opposite end of the couch as she reached for a slice of pizza.
“I agree. I mean Adam and Blake already have their whole bromance thing going on which I enjoy watching. I remember Alicia from season 12, and she was pretty cool then, but adding Kelly Clarkson? Genius.”
“I know, right? She’s so freaking hilarious, and she seems pretty down to Earth,” Leanna agreed in between mouthfuls of pizza.
I took a sip of my beer as I watched the contestant. “I’m not sure about the song choice, but I think the woman is doing better than the guy.”
“I think the guy is doing way better. Besides, she has the clear advantage since this song was originally sung by a female artist, so you gotta give him points for rising to the occasion,” Leanna argued as she crossed her legs underneath her.
“That’s not enough for somebody to win the battle rounds, you know that,” I pointed out. “It’s all about who can deliver when the time comes.”
“You sound like one of the coaches now,” Leanna stuck her tongue out at me.
“Oh, real mature Lea, what are you, five?”
“Five and a half next week, thank you very much,” Leanna responded, sourly.
“Ooooh, well excuse me.” I held my hands up in mock surrender.
“You’re not excused,” Leanna responded, pretending to be miffed.
We turned our attention back to the TV and roared with laughter when Alicia Keys managed to make one of her famous zen like comments, and Adam stared.
“Come on, that’s some Houdini stuff right there.” Leanna pointed at the screen. “She’s way too chill for this to be real.”
“She just is, Lea. Come on, look at how calm she is while all the other coaches are freaking out.”
“Yeah, I suppose. Urgh, I really don’t like Adam’s platinum blonde hair. It doesn’t suit him.” Leanna wrinkled her nose as she made a face at him.
“I agree, but at least he’s not wearing that odd shirt he had on during the blind auditions,” I reminded her.
“I rarely agree with Blake, but that shirt didn’t suit him.” Leanna snickered as she took a healthy swig of her beer.
“I’m going to use the bathroom, tell me what happens when I get back, okay?” I stood up, stretched and reluctantly made my way towards the bathroom, stopping every few minutes to glance over my shoulder and watch.
“Just go already, you’re not missing much. This is just the rehearsal footage.” Leanna shooed me away as she kept her eyes glued to the screen.
I hurriedly emerged a few minutes later. “What did I miss?”
“You’re just in time for the actual performance.” Leanna patted the seat next to her, and I sank it into gratefully, my eyes immediately going to the screen.
“I’ve got goosebumps,” Leanna announced when they were done singing.
“Me too.”
A knock brought us out of our state of awe, and we both glanced at each other in confusion.
“Were you expecting someone?”
“No.” Leanna shook her head. “I wasn’t. Were you?”
“No. I wonder who it could be.”
Leanna planted her feet on the ground, walked towards the door and glanced outside using the peephole. Her shoulders sagged in relief as she gave me a triumphant look.
“It’s Chris.”
“Chris who?” I mumbled distractedly as I tried to watch the show.
“Chris, you know the giant redhead you went at it with like a couple of bunnies.”
Beer came spewing forth out of my mouth. “That is not what happened.”
“Please, I wasn’t born yesterday. You might say one thing, but those marks on your body say something else entirely.”
I narrowed my gaze at her. “Nuh uh.”
“Yuh uh. Look, we can debate semantics later. I’m about to open the door, so are you home, or are you out?”
I hesitated as I untucked one leg. “I’m home, I guess.”
“Here we go then.”
Leanna undid the latch, and opened the door just a bit.
“Yes?” she asked, pointedly.
“Hi, Leanna, right?”
If she was surprised that he knew her name she didn’t give any indication, she just nodded. “Yes, can I help you?”
From my vantage point, I craned my neck in time to see Chris gave her a one hundred watt smile. “Is Roxanne home?”
Leanna opened the door slightly wider and gestured for him to come in. I swiftly turned my attention back to the TV and pretended to be occupied. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Chris tentatively walk in and give a quick cursory glance around the living room.
It wasn’t much, but it was a comfortable living room. Leanna and I had done our best to make sure our two bedroom, two bathroom apartment was as cozy as possible. With its assorted furniture, and its wide screen TV, it was delightfully mismatched, as my mother would like to call it.
&
nbsp; I liked to think of it as quirky, and I wondered what it looked like through Chris’s eyes. With his vintage style cottage, this place must’ve looked different.
“I’m heading out to the store to buy a few things Roxy, so I’m going to take the car, okay?” Leanna announced as she grabbed her purse off the counter.
I shot Leanna a death glare from my spot on the couch which she pretended to ignore. The door slammed shut behind her with a resounding sound that echoed between us making the silence even more pronounced.
“Hey,” Chris said, quietly as he shoved his hands in his pocket.
“Hello,” I said, stiffly as I straightened my back and gave him a steely look.
“The Voice, huh?” He inclined his head towards the TV.
“Yes.”
“My sister is a huge fan,” he added.
“Cool.” I responded.
I didn’t even know he had a sister. Yet another thing I can add to the long list of details I didn’t know about Chris. I knew my responses were short and brief, but I had no desire to be hurt again.
And I had a feeling going down this road with Chris would bring me nothing but hurt, and I didn’t want to be in that position again.
“Can I sit down?”
I cleared my throat as I gestured around me. “Sure, sit wherever you like.”
I sounded suffocatingly polite, but I couldn’t help it. My manners were kicking in when I wanted nothing more than to kick him out and go back to the relative safety of my couch and TV.
He plopped onto the couch next to me, and it shifted beneath his weight. He was careful to keep a few feet between us, which was smart considering I didn’t know how I felt.
“So….” he began then trailed off.
“So,” I prompted as I turned my attention to him.
He looked uncomfortable and nervous which was a new look to him. I had seen a lot of sides to Chris. Sexy and domineering. Quiet and polite. Charming and flirty.
This was another layer I had yet to discover.
“Look, about this morning. I know I was way out of line, and I have no excuse for saying what I said. I didn’t even mean it. It meant more to me than that, and I hope you know that,” he said, sincerely, his green eyes apologetic.