Looking at Amy, a hint of pain showed in Camille’s eyes. “I cannot understand what Celeste wants!”
Amy swallowed hard. You and me both!
Camille sighed. “I worry for her.” She lowered her head. “She has an honorable profession, and I am so proud of her. But it is all-consuming, and that worries me.”
Amy held her breath. It was unusual for Camille to confide in her.
“I do not expect anything. But I hope,” she looked at Amy, “I only hope that she will find someone special.” Camille moved closer to her. “I want her to be happy like you.” She smiled. “I want her to settle down and have children. I mean,” she clicked her tongue, “she is in her thirties now.” Camille shook her head. “But when I ask her, she is always so…vague.” She gently rubbed Amy’s cheek. “It is a mother’s instinct to want her children to settle down and be happy. You know that, now that you are a mother.” She lifted her eyebrows and looked at Amy. “I think she trusts you. I know she is fond of you.”
Amy visibly swallowed. Unable to keep eye contact, she bent her head.
Placing a hand under Amy’s chin, Camille lifted it and regarded her. “I know she confides in Josh,” she said quietly, “but he is as closemouthed as she is. Will you at least talk to Celeste about what her future plans are?”
Desperately uncomfortable, Amy quickly nodded, then pulled away from Camille. For something to do, she refilled her cup and attempted to change the subject. “Where’s Sophie?” she asked. Oh, sweet Jesus. That was a big mistake!
“Mon Dieu!” Camille uttered. She went off on a tangent about how Sophie probably wouldn’t surface until noon and that she, too, needed to find herself someone to love. Camille concluded, “If they were only a little more like you, Amy, then I would be a happy woman!”
Blushing, Amy bowed her head in shame. If only you knew, Camille. If only you knew.
Amy listened to Camille’s chatter for a while before looking out through the patio doors. She watched Josh play with the boys. They’re your priority, she told herself.
Watching her husband play with their children, Amy’s world slowly righted itself.
To Camille’s evident surprise, Amy hugged her then kissed her cheek. She whispered, “Merci.”
Sounding slightly confused, Camille replied as she hugged Amy back. “You’re welcome, mon chéri.” She stood back. “You must eat, darling.” She looked her daughter-in-law over. “You have always had a lovely figure, but you will get scrawny if you do not eat.”
Amy shook her head. “I’m fine.”
“Mmmm, I know what you working mothers are like—busy, busy, busy. All work and no play, huh!” Camille rolled her eyes disapprovingly then clicked her tongue. “But listen to me, you need to eat.” She opened the fridge. “Now, let’s see what we can get you for breakfast.”
Chapter 19
Celeste glanced at Alex’s smiling face.
It was early Friday morning and they were driving to the Keys to spend the weekend with some friends.
Bemused, Celeste watched Alex carefully unwrap a sandwich from his well-stocked picnic basket. She shook her head when he offered it to her. Food, she thought swallowing a bitter taste in her mouth, was the last thing on her mind.
Celeste watched Alex bite into his sandwich. He groaned loudly with satisfaction, and she laughed softly. She adored Alex. Ever since they were at grade school, they had been close. Now, he taught English literature at their old high school.
Alex ate his sandwich and chatted while Celeste half listened. Normally, she would have enjoyed this journey, but today too much was on her mind. She couldn’t go on like this, she realized. Not after the summerhouse a few nights ago. She needed Alex to help her rationalize what was happening. Deciding to confide in him, she said quietly, “Alex…”
Alex stopped chattering, content that Celeste was now relaxed enough to talk. Since she had arrived a few days ago, it was clear that she was completely preoccupied.
“Yes.”
Celeste gave him a quick smile, drew in a breath and proceeded to tell him everything.
Amy! Alex was in shock. My God, she’s into Amy!
“I should have realized something was wrong when you took off before the wedding.”
Celeste glanced at Alex. “What else could I do?” Her hands gripped the wheel. “When I found out Amy was pregnant…well,” she sighed, “there was no other option. We couldn’t take it any further.” She looked at him. “If I’m honest, I wasn’t ready to explore any more than a one-time event. Felice had just been killed, and emotionally, I was a mess.”
“Tell me more about Felice,” Alex asked.
“Not much to tell,” Celeste said. She frowned. “We didn’t get much of a chance to explore it fully.”
Alex nodded. “And Amy, you’re sure, is more than a one-time event?”
“Yes. It’s…different,” Celeste replied.
Alex wondered how it would have been if Amy hadn’t been pregnant. Maybe they would have gotten together. He realized it didn’t matter now, his job, as her friend, was to stop her from making this mess any bigger than it already was.
Celeste glanced at Alex before focusing on the road. “Are you going to say anything?”
“Celeste, no matter how you look at it, she’s your brother’s wife, your sister-in-law. That alone should set off major, leave-well-alone warning bells in your head!”
“Jesus, of course it does!” Celeste said. “But I’ve explained to you what happened.”
Alex knew that in the last few years, Celeste had barely been in a country where defining her sexuality was important. Getting on with saving lives was the important thing. “I know that we never really discuss it,” Alex said. “Tell me, have you been with a few women? I mean more than Felice,” he hesitated, “and Amy?”
Celeste nodded.
Pleased, Alex smiled. It was reassuring that she’d been with other women. Less chance of fixating, he thought.
“Good, then let me make it easy. This weekend, you can have whatever and whoever you want.” He smiled broadly. “Let me tell you, sweetie. You can have your pick.” He shook his head when Celeste opened her mouth. “Except, you know who!” He clapped his hands. “Anyway, you’ve told me how you feel, but what about Amy? What does she feel? I mean surely she must be confused?”
Celeste didn’t respond.
“What’s Amy’s take on all of this?”
Celeste gave him a vulnerable look.
Alex sighed. He was going to have to be gentle with her. “Okay. Do you want the long or short version of what I think?”
“The short.”
Alex decided to be brutally honest. He ran a finger down his palm. “Let’s have a look through the moral code chart.” He tapped his palm. “Coveting your brother’s wife. Now where would that be? Yup, found it.” He looked pensive. “It’s right up there on the priority list,” he said, showing Celeste his empty palm. “Catch ’em and hang ’em, it says here.”
Celeste shook her head.
“If I know Amy, this will be tearing her apart.” Alex frowned. “I’m assuming you know the baggage between Amy and her mother?”
Celeste sighed heavily.
Knowing his words were hurting her, but knowing she needed to hear the truth, Alex continued, “According to Maggie, Amy has never forgiven Irene,” he bracketed his fingers, ‘for having an affair.’ The very same affair that caused her father to fall apart, leaving Amy to pick up the pieces. Hence, the reason she has never forgiven Irene. Ergo, any psychologist will tell you she is an A-one classic type. That’s the type that place serious, and I mean serious, emotional trappings on being in a monogamous relationship.”
Alex drew breath and waited for a moment. “I really am being serious. I know you’ve been away, and I know what I’m saying might hurt you, but you’ve still been on the same planet, right?” He looked to Celeste. She nodded. “So you do know about the issues she has with Irene?”
“Yes.”
/>
“Then you must know that the only thing you’ve truly been fucking is her mind?”
Celeste winced. Her shoulders stiffened. “Is that what you think? That I’m playing a game?”
Alex shrugged. “Well, what else can it be? Look at you.” He opened his hands. “You’re gorgeous. You could literally have anyone you wanted.” He shook his head. “Don’t you think that it’s more than a little fucked up that you chose to ignore all the unattached, solvent, solid in the head, good lesbian citizens of the world, and go for what should be the most unobtainable woman on the planet to you?”
Celeste breathed in deeply. “It’s not like that,” she responded. “In all honesty, Alex, I have never been so attracted to anyone the way I am to her.” She glanced at him. “And I know exactly who she is.” She shook her head. “I know that it is completely inappropriate for this…it…whatever it is between us to happen.” Her grip tightened on the wheel. “But, Goddamnit, I want her.”
“Want?” Alex said, waving a hand in the air. “So what, Celeste? There isn’t a day goes by that I don’t want Mr. Richmond, our old sports teacher. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to hunt him down and break up his marriage!” Although, Alex thought dreamily, with those thighs, I might if I thought I had a chance. “It’s a crush, Celeste,” he added dismissively. “Nothing more. You’ll get over it.”
Celeste, staring ahead, replied firmly, “It’s more than that.”
Alex bowed his head. She was right, of course. It had to be much more than that. This kind of thing was definitely not her style. This is some serious shit, and the repercussions could be horrific.
Alex loved the Cameron family like his own, and the last thing he wanted was a meteoric rift if the family found out, and he knew for sure that they would find out if Celeste didn’t stop this. Whatever else, he decided that she needed a reality check. He said quietly, “What about Josh?”
Celeste visibly paled.
Alex hammered home. “It would destroy him if he ever found out!”
Celeste nodded. “I know.”
Alex meant to whisper dramatically, but instead hissed, “Are you prepared to take the risk?” He raised his eyebrows, but Celeste completely ignored his dramatic flair.
Celeste exhaled deeply. “I want to say no.” She glanced at him. ”But I don’t know anymore.” She focused on the road. “I honestly don’t know what to do.”
Alex touched her arm. Jeez, she has it bad. “Darlin’, it’s simple. You need to find a new playmate. I only wish that you had told me all this a few years ago. Then, you wouldn’t have had to deal with it on your own. I would have introduced you to a few bombshells, and let me tell you, one touch of their buzzzzoms,” he put his hands out about a foot in front of his chest to emphasize his point, “would wipe your hard drive clean of any memory of Amy.”
Celeste laughed. “Alex,” she said, shaking her head. “Are you sure you’re an English teacher? You’re beginning to sound more like the wayward kids you teach at high school.”
He smirked. “You gotta move with the times, baby.”
Alex watched Celeste shrug a few times, obviously trying to relax.
“Alex, I’m not trying to fuck with her mind,” Celeste said. She shook her head. “I can’t explain it.”
“I know,” Alex said. He reached into the picnic basket at his feet, and brought out a bottle of champagne. “Let’s just try to enjoy our trip.”
Chapter 20
“Let’s not leave it so long next time,” Marie said to Celeste.
“That’s a deal,” Celeste replied, smiling warmly.
“And next time you see your brother,” Charlie, Marie’s husband said, hugging Celeste. “Tell him I’ll be in town in a few weeks and I’ll be calling him for a round of golf.”
“Good night, guys,” Alex said. Impatiently, he pulled on Celeste’s arm. “I’ll see you both when I’m next down. And remember,” he huffed as Celeste resisted, “give little Charlie a kiss goodnight from me when you get home.”
That evening Alex had, after their meal, wanted to go to a gay bar, and now he wanted to go to a club. Their old school friends, Marie and Charlie, made their excuses, needing to get home to let the babysitter go.
“Okay, Alex,” Marie said warmly. “I’m sorry we can’t go to a club. But, hey, having a kid means you forfeit that after-midnight pass.”
“Don’t worry,” Celeste said, holding her ground as Alex playfully pulled at her. “You’re not going to miss anything other than Alex doing his ugly sister act if he doesn’t get his way.”
Alex laughed. “Whatever, Cinderella! The night is young, and I’m out to find my Prince Charming.”
Celeste and Alex kissed the couple good night, promising to call them soon.
Walking away, Alex excitedly explained that he had arranged to hook up with a dark-haired sports teacher he had met earlier in the bar.
Once in the club, Celeste settled on a sofa and let Alex fight his way to the bar. She looked out to the dance floor and felt the buzz from the wine at dinner and the tequila shots at the bar. Letting the warm, fuzzy, alcoholic haze wash over her, she leaned back, stretched her long legs out and closed her eyes. No sooner had she closed them than Alex roused her. Handing her a drink, he budged her up the sofa.
Full of energy, Alex tapped her leg. “Let’s hope he’s here,” he said loudly in her ear, before scanning the whole area.
Smiling, Celeste closed her eyes again.
Alex shook her and began a conversation that would get her attention. “Okay, I accept that you are very, very physically attracted to Amy. I can see why. She’s hot.” He looked at her. “There is no doubt that she is one seriously gorgeous girl.”
Amused, Celeste looked at him.
Pleased that he had her attention, Alex began ticking off his fingers. “She has bone structure that I would mortgage my home for.” He looked at Celeste. “She’s blond, a natural one at that. She’s got those amazing blue eyes.” He rubbed his forehead. “How would you describe the color?”
“Turquoise blue,” Celeste responded. “Turquoise is the word you’re looking for.”
“Yes,” Alex said. His eyes twinkled mischievously. “She has great tits. I mean really, really great tits.” He smiled wickedly. “Have you noticed that?”
Celeste raised an eyebrow and fought hard not to grin, but she couldn’t resist. “They should be asset tagged.”
Alex laughed. “Yeah,” he said, slapping his thigh. “They’ll be well up on your register.” He wagged a finger. “But, look around you, honey, there’s a lot of candy in the store tonight.”
Celeste sat up, yawned and then stretched. She wondered if she could excuse herself soon, and asked absentmindedly, “Is that a challenge, Mr. Forrester?”
“Uh-huh,” Alex replied, then waved to someone at the bar.
Celeste looked over to where Alex was waving, and watched a dark-haired woman make her way over.
Once she got closer, Alex budged Celeste up, and motioned for the woman to join them. Seated between them, Alex looked at Celeste and smiled. “I would like to introduce you to an old friend of mine, Robin Fernandez.”
†
A phone was ringing. Celeste, lying on her stomach, pulled her hand out from under the pillow and reached for it. Unable to find it, she lifted her head, only to let it flop down when a blinding pain shot through her temple. “Uurrgghh.”
Lifting her hand, Celeste tried again. Eyes closed, feeling tentatively around, she patted the air. Eventually, remembering she was in a hotel room, she unwillingly opened one eye, blearily she found what she was looking for, and croaked into the receiver, “What?”
Alex cooed at the other end, “Morning, sweetie. Thought I would give you a wake-up call since you were so, so, sooo tight last night.”
Celeste tried to make out the time on the nightstand, but couldn’t focus. Her other eye refused to open. She managed to squeeze another sound out of her voice box. “What time is it?”
“It’s time to tell you what happened last night, sweetie.”
Celeste’s mind drew a blank. She vaguely remembered going to a club, and drinking lots of tequila. She groaned and tried not to think any more as her head hurt. She murmured, “Where are you, Alex?” Remembering, she asked, “Did you find your teacher?”
“I’m next door. And no, honey, I didn’t find him, but I didn’t go home empty-handed.” He laughed then added wickedly, “And neither did you!”
Just as Celeste was about to ask him what the hell he was talking about, a hand snaked across her back and rested on her shoulder. Stunned, she froze.
Like a sinister voice-over in a horror film, Alex whispered into the phone, “Yes, Celeste. Eventually, I managed to pry that gorgeous hot-blooded Latina off you long enough to get us all into a cab.”
Shocked, Celeste didn’t move or say a word. Lying prostrate, she felt light kisses feather their way down her back. She gulped when the full weight of a body pressed into her and a female voice moaned in her ear, “Good morning, Celeste. Do you have any idea how wonderful you were last night?”
Celeste stiffened further when hips pressed into hers, and started to move.
Alex knew from the moment that Celeste picked up the phone that she didn’t have a clue that she was sharing her bed, because she didn’t cuss him out. He heard her sharp intake of breath. But you know now. Don’t you, honey! “Where’s Robin?” he asked mischievously.
Celeste didn’t say a word.
Alex couldn’t help but find the whole situation highly amusing. He asked teasingly, “Is she next to you?”
Celeste replied slowly, “Uh-huh.”
“Where?”
Celeste didn’t reply.
Not thinking that she really was, Alex asked, “Is she on top of you?”
Celeste whispered, “Uh-huh.”
Putting his hand over the receiver, Alex laughed hard. He could only imagine what Robin was up to. He removed his hand and whispered, “Celeste, let me tell you a little about the woman that’s on top of you.” He dragged out the words ‘on top of you,’ taking real pleasure in them. “Her name is Robin Fernandez and she’s very beautiful.”
Denial Page 12