Celeste wasn’t sure if Amy was asking why she adopted or why she hadn’t mentioned this during their time together. She decided to go for the first and easiest explanation.
“The options for kids in that kind of environment are grim, and since they only had elderly grandparents as supporting family I made the decision to adopt them, with their grandparents blessing, of course.”
Celeste showed Amy more photographs and explained carefully that she hadn’t told anyone at the time because the adoption process was extremely long with no guarantees.
Amy showed no emotion, but asked, “What are the children like?”
Painfully aware of Amy’s loss, and that she needed to tread carefully, Celeste cautiously told Amy about them.
When she stopped talking, Celeste watched Amy study the photographs. Swallowing, she thought, I have missed you so much.
Amy put the photographs down. She looked at her watch and said, in surprise, “It’s nine o’clock.”
Worried that Amy wanted to leave, Celeste asked, “Would you like to meet them?”
Amy picked up a photograph, one with Celeste and the children. She looked at it for a long moment. Celeste watched conflict cross her face. “Just once, Amy,” she said tenderly. “Alex is here and he would love to see you.”
Amy’s face softened. “How is he?”
“Oh, he’s great. The kids love him, and he’s been in a relationship for a few years now. He’s here with his partner, Colin.”
Celeste watched curiosity flit through Amy’s eyes.
Amy looked at her for a long moment. “Okay,” she replied finally.
Delighted, Celeste let out the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. They both agreed that she would visit the following day at noon. After they parted, Celeste spent a restless night wondering if she would ever see Amy again.
Chapter 43
After her first visit to meet the children, Amy found it hard to resist them, particularly the little girl, Naomi, whom she got on with immediately. Daniel, although slightly hesitant, was as warm as Naomi.
When Celeste asked her to meet the children that night in the café, Amy had thought, No, it ends here. But when she looked at Celeste’s tense face, the will to refuse disappeared. Just this once, she had thought. Surely, that can’t do any harm.
Amy admired Celeste for taking on such a big responsibility and she couldn’t hide her curiosity about the children, and once she discovered that Alex was here, she knew she just had to see him.
As it turned out, one visit stretched into several as Amy found the children irresistible. After her training, Amy had chosen to work in a children’s ward, and although she had grown attached to many of the children, being around healthy, boisterous kids was a good antidote to some of stresses of dealing with sick children.
Amy also liked Alex’s boyfriend, Colin. He was taller than Alex, six-foot-four with dark, wavy hair. He was a sports teacher with a crooked nose from playing sports. Amy was surprised by how extremely funny and warm he was, and quite unintentionally took his good humor to heart, finding his and Alex’s company extremely enjoyable.
Amy had developed a strong relationship with Alex, Colin and the children over the last three weeks, but kept Celeste at a distance. This weekend, though, the children had asked her to go camping with them to Loch Lomond.
†
“The burgers will be ready soon,” Alex shouted to Colin, who wanted to know when they would eat. Attending the barbecue, Alex was in the middle of preparing lunch. “Just get on with your job and get the tents up.”
It was a hot day and Amy was busy trying to get a wriggling Naomi into a swimsuit. Succeeding, she picked her up and hugged her. Celeste, standing beside them, teased Naomi with ice cream.
Alex watched them for a few moments then looked around him. He had fallen in love with Scotland. He loved the rugged landscape and the warmth of the people. Somehow, on their trip to this loch, he thought they would see Nessie, but Amy told him that Nessie resided in Loch Ness, in Inverness, more than an hour and a bit drive away.
Buttering the buns, Alex smiled. He liked the way Amy said an hour and a bit, instead of the precise time. In fact, he liked the whole Scottish way of doing things, which tended to be relaxed and informal. But, he thought, opening a carton of orange juice, there seemed to be a plethora of lochs in Scotland. Why he had got it into his head there was only one, he didn’t know.
Alex’s reverie was broken when he heard a couple of jet boats whiz by. He growled. He hated those things with a passion. They were noisy, pollutants to the natural habitat, and with their spinning rotors, chopped up anything that came within reach. He continued to lightly growl until they disappeared, leaving them to the quite solitude of the small beach they had found.
Alex smiled when Celeste splodged Naomi’s nose with ice cream, and laughed when Naomi fell into a fit of giggles. He laughed even harder when Celeste did the same to Amy’s nose. The look of shock on Amy’s face sent Naomi into further kinks of laughter.
Dodging Amy’s playful swipe, Celeste moved out of the way then innocently licked her ice cream.
Alex’s heart twisted, Celeste and Amy looked so natural, so right together. He smiled thinking about how caught up Colin had become with the whole situation. Although Colin was aware of Celeste and Amy’s history, over the years he had tried to encourage Celeste to date. No matter how often Alex explained the situation, Colin just volleyed with a simple explanation that he didn’t like her being on her own. Since meeting Amy and seeing how much they fit together, Colin was now desperate for a happy ending. He wanted them together.
“I’m starved. When are the burgers going to be ready?”
Alex looked at Colin. “Almost done, sweetie,” he replied lovingly.
“God, Amy is really attractive, isn’t she?” Colin said. “The more I get to know her, the more attractive she’s becoming.”
Alex smiled. He looked over at Amy and noted the changes in her. Since meeting up a few weeks ago, her mood seemed much lighter and she laughed more often. She also looked healthier. There was color to her face. Her hair seemed more luscious. Her natural beauty was shining through.
“Did you see the look on her face when Naomi told her that we were going camping?”
Alex nodded and said quietly, “Her kids were killed on a camping trip.”
“I know that!” Colin replied. “I thought she was going to pass out. She almost jumped at the offer to come when Celeste asked her.”
Alex picked up the orange juice. It was very clear to him that Amy was a tortured soul. He poured juice into plastic cups.
“They look so right together, don’t they?”
Alex nodded. When Celeste told him she had taken a leave of absence and would he and Colin like to go with her to Europe, he had been keen—until she told him the true reason. He had tried to talk her out of it, thinking there was no way that Amy would want to see them. Colin, the eternal romantic, agreed with Celeste and here they were.
To Alex’s surprise and great pleasure, they seemed to be making inroads with Amy. Colin and the children had made her promise to quit smoking, and because she doted on the children, it had been over a week since her last cigarette.
Alex felt a sudden twinge of disquiet. Those inroads though, so far, hadn’t extended to Celeste. For the last few weeks, Amy had given little attention to Celeste. What he could do about it, he didn’t know. He did know that Amy had been to hell and back and, at this moment in time, he was just glad that she was accepting their company.
“Yes,” Alex responded, coming out of his reverie. “They do look right together.” Filling a few buns with burgers, he tried to hide his disquiet. “They look every inch the happy family.”
“Talking about family, and not that I know Amy,” Colin said, reaching for a bun. “But don’t you think it’s weird that she’s never asked about Celeste’s family. I mean she knows that Josh is in a relationship, yet she doesn’t seem even a litt
le curious about it.” Biting into the bun and chewing, he added with a mouth full of food, “She must see that Celeste is completely and utterly crazy about her?”
Alex frowned. He was also concerned that Amy was avoiding any intimate conversation. Over the weeks, he had noticed that she never mentioned Maggie or the twins, or asked about the Cameron family. Never once had she asked about Josh or his new life. Josh and his partner of three years had an eighteen-month-old baby girl with one on the way.
The first time that Naomi mentioned Uncle Josh, Denise and the baby, Alex’s mouth gaped open but Amy didn’t react. From then on, any time Naomi or Daniel mentioned them, Amy never once queried.
Alex looked at his partner. “Colin, she knows full well about Josh from Irene, I’m sure. She certainly knows how Celeste feels, but it’s obvious she’s not ready to deal with anything yet. And,” he said seriously, “we can’t push her. When she’s ready to talk, she will.” Colin opened his mouth, but Alex gave him a look. “She’ll talk when she’s ready.” He stuffed another bun into Colin’s hand. “Okay?”
“Okay,” Colin replied as he looked at Alex’s frowning face. “I know you’re right.” Colin said, adding ketchup to his burger. “Maybe when we’re in Greece next week, she’ll open up.”
Colin had never been outside of the States, and next week, as part of their two-month trip, they were going to Greece to sail the Ionian Sea. Amy had refused to come with them. So, Colin took the indirect route and coached the children. Fortunately, Alex thought, as he smiled to himself, the little gremlins wore her down until she agreed.
Serving up lunch, Alex hoped the sailing trip would relax Amy enough to let down her guard with Celeste. He smiled at his partner. “Colin, she’s been gone for a long time and we don’t know much about it. I don’t think it’s going to be the happy ending that you think it is.”
“Look, I’m an optimistic guy.”
“You’re also someone who doesn’t understand what Amy’s been through.” He looked at Colin. “Don’t push it.”
Colin winked at Alex before biting into his second burger.
†
Normally vacation time from the hospital required at least a few weeks’ notice, but since she had never taken any time off, and Sandra was her Staff Nurse, Amy arranged leave for the sailing trip easily.
On Saturday, they flew to Corfu and set sail in the afternoon. The Jeanneau yacht Celeste had chartered was luxurious.
From the first day, Amy wore long sleeve shirts and linen trousers. She hoped that everyone would think it was because she was so pale and unused to the intense heat of the sun. On the second day, Colin snapped her out of her absorption of watching Celeste plot the next day’s course on the chart. “Why aren’t you sunbathing?” he asked, sitting next to her.
Amy hesitated. When they had been at Loch Lomond for the weekend, she had covered up there too, but the weather hadn’t been warm enough to raise concern. Now, the sun was searing and it was obviously too hot for the clothes she was wearing. Amy hadn’t known how to address the reason, and was surprised that she hadn’t explained earlier. She hadn’t expected to be as self-conscious as she was. Knowing that Celeste was close by and would hear, she took a deep breath. “A few years ago, I was in a fire. I was burned.”
Celeste’s head flew up at the word burned. Fear flitted across her eyes and her stomach clenched. She felt sick at the thought of Amy being hurt. She held her breath and listened. That day in the café, she had seen scars on Amy’s hand, but they were just a few and didn’t seem serious.
Celeste put down her charts and approached Amy. “Show me.”
Amy hesitated. “I—”
She touched Amy’s cheek. “Show me, please.”
Self-consciously, Amy unbuttoned her shirt and dropped it.
Celeste caught her breath, and Colin covered his mouth, stifling a gasp. The shirt hung around Amy’s waist with only a bra to cover her. Celeste could see that the scarring was bad. It was mostly based on her right side and ran from her shoulder down her side, covering part of her chest and stomach, only stopping at her hip. Celeste whispered, “Turn around.”
Amy did as she requested.
Her back, across its entire length, was scarred. Some parts were thick with white, gnarled skin. Celeste asked quietly, sadly, “Your legs?”
Amy turned back to face them. “Not touched in the fire, but my thighs are marked from skin grafts.”
Celeste placed her hand on Amy’s hip. “What happened?”
“Wrong place.” Amy pulled her shirt up. “Wrong time.”
“Tell me.”
Amy looked at Celeste. “I stayed at a hostel in the outback of Australia,” she said, buttoning her shirt. “The building was mostly wood and caught fire. It was an accident waiting to happen; the place was poorly built. I only intended to stay there a few days.” She smiled faintly. “A few travelers were moving on, so there was a farewell night with lots of cocktails.”
Amy folded her arms protectively. “I don’t really remember much, other than it was some crazy themed night and someone gave me a Hawaiian-style shirt to wear.” She raised her eyebrows. The cocktails were potent and I got drunk pretty quickly, then fell asleep.”
“The shirt, I take it,” Colin asked, “was highly flammable?”
Amy nodded.
“How did you get away?”
“It was shouting that woke me up. When I tried to escape, my shirt caught fire. It wasn’t fully buttoned,” she reported, matter-of-factly. “And I managed to get some of it off.” She pointed to her side. “Most of the damage was on my side and my back.”
Celeste looked at Amy and swallowed hard. All that pain, she thought. Lifting her hand, she ran her fingers lightly from Amy’s shoulder down to her hip, slowly feeling the contours of the scar tissue through the shirt. She looked into Amy’s eyes and whispered, “I’m sorry, Amy. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
Pulling away, Amy frowned and said, rather self-consciously, “Don’t be silly. There was nothing anyone could have done. It was an accident.” She looked away. “Like so many things in life.”
Reaching out, Colin pulled Amy into him for a hug.
A wave of jealousy washed over Celeste. Someday, I will be there for you. Someday, I will be able to hold you in my arms and comfort you.
Watching them, Celeste only hoped that the day would come soon.
†
A week into the vacation they arrived in Paxos, the smallest of the Ionian Islands located just south of Corfu, where they spent the day swimming and snorkeling. Eventually, they anchored at the picturesque Port of Gios and stopped at a taverna for a lengthy evening meal. After a few hours, they returned to the yacht and settled the children in their berths before settling themselves for the rest of the evening.
Amy sipped her orange juice as Colin dealt the cards for poker. “Why don’t you drink alcohol?” Colin asked, picking up his glass of Ouzo and lemon.
Amy looked up. From experience, she knew that Ouzo was potent, especially on top of other alcohol. Colin had drunk quite a lot of wine at dinner. Raising her eyebrows, she realized that Colin was now on his third glass. She smiled at him, certain that both Celeste and Alex were also desperate to find out about the last four years.
Feeling the tension build, Amy decided to be open. “When I left Sarasota, everything, probably for the next year, was and still is a blur.” She pointed to Colin’s glass as the reason why. She didn’t tell them how seriously she hadn’t cared whether she lived or died.
“When you left, where did you go?” Celeste asked.
“I intended to go on a journey,” Amy replied, looking from her hand to Celeste. “I wanted to visit some of the cities that my dad wanted us to see.”
Amy lowered her eyes when a look of tenderness crossed Celeste’s face.
What Amy didn’t tell them was that she didn’t manage more than a few cities, because she hooked up with a group of travelers and spent too many nights in bars and
strange places trying to block out her pain. When the fire happened, she was hospitalized. It was there, drying out and recovering from her injuries, that the full realization and subsequent terror that her children and Maggie were never coming back, hit her full force.
For months, Amy barely communicated. As time slipped by, watching the nurses go about their duties and daily routines began to sooth her, made her feel that Maggie was close by. It was there she met Sandra, who was working her way across Australia. As fellow Glaswegians, Sandra worked hard to bring Amy around. As their friendship grew, Amy never shared her past with Sandra. She couldn’t, it was balled up and buried deep inside her. All Sandra knew was that she was a fellow traveler, caught up in a dreadful accident.
Colin burped. “Did you get to see the cities you wanted?”
Amy half-smiled. “Some.”
Celeste looked at Amy intently. “What made you study nursing?”
Amy looked at Celeste. “It was when I was in hospital that I knew what I wanted to do. I decided to become a nurse.”
“Why?” Alex asked.
Amy sighed, because she really didn’t want to discuss this, she kept her answer brief. “I wanted to give something back.” I could give something back to the boys and to Maggie. “And by being a nurse, I could be of some use.” She smiled. “Fortunately, I was accepted into second year at nursing school and the rest, as they say, is history.”
Studying her cards, Celeste asked, “Does Irene know about your burns?”
Amy looked at her for a moment. “No. No one knows.”
“Traveling, never to arrive,” Alex whispered almost to himself. “Amy, no one could find you,” he said, putting his cards down. “How did you just vanish without a trace?”
“Believe me, it’s not that difficult,” Amy said, looking at her cards intently.
Colin reached over and clasped Amy’s hand. “‘Unbelievable,” he said his voice catching. “You lost your children, your best friend, your marriage and Celeste. You suffered those horrific burns. Alone.” He hiccupped then slurred, “It’s like some fucking Greek tragedy.”
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