by K. F. Breene
“Does that mean you’re done surfing out here?”
“Oh no. This beach isn’t going to beat me. But I’m going to hate every minute of it.”
“Atta girl. Wanna do our routine?”
Krista got a jolt of pleasure that quickly died as her body screamed. “No way. I want to go back to the hotel and get in the Jacuzzi.”
“Hmmm.” Sean sounded like that idea was a big ice cream sundae. Krista’s body jolted again, but he didn’t say anything more.
At his house, he hosed Krista off and then himself. Krista started to take off her wetsuit but got frustrated almost immediately. It was wet, tight, clingy, and she was freezing. She put her arms out and said, “Help.”
Sean had his wetsuit half way off already. He saw her position and smiled. “Yes ma’am. Give me a minute.”
He disappeared into his garage and came out in his shorts. His body was slick and cut. A thousand memories went through Krista’s head of the times she felt him and laid her body on him. The pain shocked through her. She closed her eyes against it, trying to block out the sight of him.
As the back of the suit was opened, Sean hesitated. “Krista, I don’t think I can do this. I’ll get Cassie.”
“Wait, what? Why? What happened?”
“I don’t know if your bathing suit survived intact.”
“Oh. Can you just get me started and I’ll do damage control?”
“I…” Krista heard a sigh somewhere behind her. “Okay.”
The zipper was brought down the rest of the way. She felt his fingers skim her bare skin, relishing the feeling.
“Let’s go into the…house so you don’t flash the whole neighborhood,” Sean said quietly.
Krista’s feet were burning they were so cold. She wanted to be warm immediately. Surfing at that damn beach was for ninjas only!
They made it into the surf room, which was sandy and had drops of water from Sean’s change a minute ago. Once again, Sean started to take off the suit, little by little, trying not to touch her skin—trying to keep everything civilized and under control.
He circled her, his face wary, probably wishing the room was slightly bigger, and stood face-to-face with her. He pulled down the top slowly, getting both arms out, inching it down to her waist. In a daze, Krista saw his eyes feast on her bare chest, hunger flashing. A hand came up, slowly, not under his control, reaching for a breast. Krista’s nipples, already constricted, tingled in anticipation, her body refusing to move to stop him.
Suddenly he jerked, blinked, and ripped his hand back down. “Damage control, Krista. Put your top on. Or a top on.” His voice was hoarse.
With a desire for which she couldn’t remember its equal, she wanted the feel of him, skin on skin; wrapped up in his body. She closed her eyes. A large part of her didn’t want to do that to Chet. It was sleazy and not fair—something she abhorred in others. Jim had cheated on her constantly, and she remembered the pain of that. She did not want to do that to another. But another part, one that worried her excessively, was more concerned about not scaring Sean away. That part realized he was trying to do the right thing, and policing himself when it should be her policing him.
That part of her terrified her—because of the woman she might nearly slip into being, and for how ardently she wanted Sean, after all this time, from a place in her heart and soul that she’d never accessed with Chet, or anyone else.
A doomsday cloud hanging over her head, Krista fished in her wetsuit for her bikini top and hastily tied it on. Everything covered up, she said, “Kay.”
Sean glanced back down, and kept going. Until it turned out her bottoms went down with the ship.
“Nope,” Sean said tightly. He stood up and walked out of the room.
Krista stood blinking and cold as he walked away. She should be embarrassed. Normal people would be humiliated. Instead, she was sad. The Sean she used to know wouldn’t have run away. He would have made a funny quip, sneaked a peak, and let her fix it. Then he would have finished up.
Krista fished out her bottoms and started to wrestle the pants down. Cassie came in, saw her, and started laughing. “Scared away the womanizer with some woman flesh, huh?”
“It’s not like he hasn’t seen it before.”
“Yeah. He’s a bit squeamish in his old age. Don’t let that put you off. Here—“ Cassie bent down and helped her get the bottoms off. “The trick is patience. Yanking and pulling just gets you aggravated. So anyway, where do you want to go shopping?”
Krista’s teeth were chattering. “Cassie, I love you, but I am freezing. Out of the way.”
Krista pushed past a laughing Cassie and ran for her sweatshirt. Sean glanced up as she came into the living room, and then headed for the kitchen.
“I made breakfast,” Cassie declared, coming in behind her. “Cheerios or Corn Flakes?”
“I’m going to get going. Cassie, where can I meet you?”
“Oh. Are you sure? Don’t worry about Sean—he just has a million work things going on all the time. He’s no fun anymore.”
“I can sympathize,” Krista said, thankful that Cassie was trying to ease the blow. “But I want to shower and check in with Tory before I run off to have fun.”
“You suck. Okay, let’s meet downtown. I’ll call you.” They walked past the kitchen. Cassie pushed Sean out of the way so she could get to the fridge.
“Sean, I’ll be back here tomorrow morning. Do you want to surf with me?” Krista asked in a friendly tone as she gathered her stuff.
Sean leaned against the counter and looked at her with hostile eyes. “I can’t tomorrow. Sorry.”
Krista froze for a beat as she was picking up her bag. She recovered quickly, hiding the sting behind a smile. She shrugged, acting completely unconcerned. “No problem. Alright, Cass, see you later.”
Krista didn’t hear Cassie’s response. She walked out of the door as the tears came. She didn’t know Sean anymore. He wasn’t the same man she’d left. He didn’t love the world around him like he used to. He didn’t find humor in the little things, or treat the world like a stage. It was like he just dealt with life now. He’d lost his spark. At least with her.
~*~*~*~
Cassie waited for the door to close, then she waited to get herself under control. Sean sank onto a barstool at the counter in the kitchen, his shoulders hunched.
“So…you totally fucked that up,” Cassie said as calmly as she could manage.
“Language,” Sean said without looking up.
“Are you blind Sean? She still likes you! It’s obvious!”
“As friends, Cass.”
“Sean…” Cassie gripped the counter to prevent herself from saying something ugly. When she was mostly under control again, she said, “I feel like I am in the middle of a divorce. Again. Only this time I want the parents to stay together, Sean. But Krista probably thinks I am trying to let her down easy from you being a pile of shit to her! She probably thinks…”
Sean stood up, anger flashing. His whole body was taut, trying to keep the anger in check. Cassie, very rarely ever seeing Sean angry around her, and only probably twice in her life seeing him angry at her, fell silent.
“Cassie,” Sean said through clenched teeth. “Don’t bring Krista up to me again. Is that clear? She has moved on. She has found someone else. She has found a man that treats her well and takes care of her. Let her be happy, and leave me alone. If you are so desperate to match-make, work on your own life, and leave mine alone.”
“But what if she were single?” Cassie asked quickly, not wanting to see Sean mad, but less desirous to see him in pain, which is what she’d been witnessing since Krista left the first time.
Sean stopped on his way to his room, his back still turned toward his sister. “If she was single—”
“Is single, I meant. If she dumps her man.”
Sean turned to look at Cassie. “What, by phone in the next couple days? Right.”
“Just—what if she sees you
, decides she still likes you, goes back, sees her man, realizes he’s not all that, and—”
Sean turned and started to walk away again.
“Sean!” Cassie yelled. “If she dumps her man, will you try for her?”
Sean stopped again. Just to get his sister off his back he said, “Sure, Cass. If she suddenly decides that the man she has been with for the last year doesn’t live up to my broken down, problem-riddled, high-maintenance, pathetic excuse of a life, then yes, I will ask her out. Happy?”
“Yes,” Cassie exhaled. As Sean turned the corner she yelled, “I will hold you to it!”
Chapter Five
Cassie and Krista did some shopping in the late afternoon. They both bought way too much. Everything seemed to fit and look great, though, so it was almost painful to put it back. Cassie reasoned that Krista was so busy she never got to spend her salary. Krista in turn reasoned that Cassie needed to stop looking so frumpy. It obviously didn’t take much convincing for either of them.
They went back to Krista’s hotel for lunch since she planned to expense it. When their sandwiches arrived, Cassie took a bite, then asked, “So who is this handsome guy you’re seeing?”
“Did Sean tell you that?”
“No, Kate.”
“Oh. Yeah, he’s a really nice guy. He’s good to me.”
“Can’t ask for more than that.”
“Yeah,” Krista said, trying to sound chipper.
Cassie nodded, looking down at her fries. They passed some time in silence before Cassie said, “So tell me about your glamorous life! I haven’t talked to you in years!”
Krista laughed sadly. “Glamorous life, huh? How often do you talk to Kate and Jasmine?”
“I see them regularly. I need friends and they need to be force-fed shots. We are perfect for each other.” Cassie laughed.
That started a string of stories between the two of them. Cassie told Krista about her, Kate, and Jasmine’s escapades, and Krista told Cassie about her travel stories. Krista could fill a book with the dumb things she did. She was actually worried that Marcus was keeping a book!
After lunch, they walked to the train and headed to the Mission to meet Kate and Jasmine. They chose a dive bar and started slow. Kate and Jasmine wore jeans and shirts, no makeup. Cassie and Krista wore some of their new clothes and were all dolled up. It was a funny contrast.
“Okay,” Krista said after they all sat down. “Why am I so far out of the loop? Why did no one tell me Cassie was a member of our SF gang?”
Jasmine shrugged. “Never came up.”
“Okay. Fair enough. How is the job going?” Krista asked Kate.
She and Jasmine laughed. “It’s fine. We just goof off most of the day. It definitely isn’t the same without you. And the art department is nowhere near the same without Marcus! The whole company is kind of limping along.”
Krista quirked a brow. “But I heard some big accounts were coming through.”
“As soon as Sean leaves, the whole place will fall down like a domino effect. He is the one holding it all together,” Kate clarified.
“He’s got something new, though,” Krista said confusedly.
Cassie looked at her sharply. “Did he tell you that?”
“Yeah. Look, is there something I’m missing?”
“No. Sean just isn’t really talking about whatever he has coming up. I was just surprised he told you, is all.” Cassie shrugged.
“He didn’t tell me much. Just that something was in the works.”
They all nodded and shrugged. Before Krista could ask more about it, Kate started spewing off her latest dramatic episode with dating. That started Jasmine competing with her about worst first-date stories. Then Cassie and Krista chimed in. Before any of them knew it, they were neck deep in beer, and happy to stay in their seats until they had to be rolled home.
So much for seeing the town or doing dinner. Although, Krista would have dragged everyone around by the ear if Sean had agreed to dinner. Turned out he had to work and couldn’t get out in time. Or even later to meet them after. In other words, he didn’t want to see her. It didn’t need to be any more clear. And she didn’t need any more pain witnessing it.
“What about you?” Jasmine asked at one point when Krista returned from the bathroom. It was about seven in the evening and Krista had a sound buzz on.
“What about me, what?” she asked, noticing a hot guy at the bar.
“Why aren’t you engaged by now?”
Krista choked on her beer. A piercing stab went through her heart. “What are you talking about?”
“Well, every time we hear from you, you talk about some guy taking you out, or cooking for you, or giving you a warm homecoming. Marcus sent over his picture. He’s hot. What are you waiting for?” Jasmine was looking intently at Krista.
“Yikes. I don’t know. The sky to fall? We’ve only been together a year. We need to move in together before marriage.”
“When is that going to happen?” Kate asked.
“Why? Is there a bet on or something?”
Kate shrugged. “You usually go full speed ahead when you want something.”
It was Krista’s turn to shrug. “I don’t know. Life is busy. Work is super crazy right now. I just haven’t really had time for a social life.”
Jasmine said, “Well, fill us in on your glamorous life! Marcus says you are kicking ass and taking names. I feel like we are out of touch.”
“Why do you all keep applying ‘glamorous’ to my life?” Krista shook her head. She had been in constant contact with Kate and Jasmine, mostly through email. She told them everything of note. She figured Marcus liked to spin tales of grandeur.
“Not all that glamorous, no. I work my ass off. I wake up, surf, go to work, come home, do my fitness routine, then go to bed. Every once in a while, I go out with Marcus or Ben. I make time for Chet. Oh yeah, and I travel all the freaking time.”
“Yeah, but, everyone in your office thinks you rock as a boss, right? I mean, we knew that, but still,” Kate said, eyeing some guy that just came into the bar.
“Don’t bother, he’s gay,” Jasmine shot at Kate.
“I know. I flirted with him last week. I still like to look!” Kate retorted. Cassie laughed at her and followed her gaze.
Krista continued to answer their question. “Work is pretty awesome, yeah.” She took a sip of beer. “I like what I do and who I work with. I’m just…I don’t know. It’s just a bit lonely, you know? I didn’t want to leave San Francisco. But, it seems Jim is determined to follow me around and piss on my parade.”
“Speaking of.” Krista continued, missing the glance between Cassie and Kate, and trying to throw off the sudden pallor of their conversation. “Just throwing it out there: I have an opening in my department. I know you guys are probably tired of living in my shadow, but if—”
“Tired of living in your shadow?” Jasmine laughed. “Yeah, right. You find jobs, then bring us on for more money. It sounds like a dream to me.”
“Well, it’s out there. Just sayin’. And the weather is fab. But I only have one opening.”
“One opening and an extra bedroom for the freeloader who has to find their own job. I’m in. I’ll take freeloader status.” Kate raised her hand.
“Seriously?” Krista asked excitedly.
Kate and Jasmine both shrugged at the same time then started laughing. They all looked at Cassie.
“Don’t look at me! I have a job. That I like. Maybe someday if the winds are right, I’ll move to L.A., but not yet.”
“Spoiled sport!” Kate said.
They all laughed. Suddenly, the night was getting a whole lot better.
Since Krista was working out of the San Francisco office for the week, she headed out to Ocean Beach every morning to surf. She’d gotten lucky with a week’s worth of decent, if not always great, waves. She moved down the beach from where Sean might be, however. She didn’t want to face his rejection.
She saw Kate
and Jasmine every night and Cassie made it to drinks or dinner when she could, which was most nights.
When Thursday rolled around, Krista had to skip surfing that morning because of an early meeting, so she decided to head down to her old stomping ground and do her revised routine for old time’s sake. She parked by her old house without so much as a wild urge to knock on the door, and headed to her old starting point. Out of habit, and because why not, she walked toward the spot she and Sean always met. The day was clear but cold, and the waves were messy. There were a few people on the beach, but not many.
She shook her head, not feeling at all bad for looking down her nose at the dirty, cold, fairly awful beach, and prepared to run. Taking a lungful of air, she turned to her right, took two steps toward flight, and stopped.
Sean was ten feet away, looking at her patiently.
Emotions and butterflies exploded out of Krista’s body in so many directions, the only thing she could do was freeze and stare dumbly. Look dumbly, too, because her arms were still out as if she was just about to start running.
“I was wondering how long it would take for you to notice me,” Sean said, walking over.
“L-long d-day, huh?” She stuttered. She didn’t know what else to say.
“Always.”
“You still start here?” Now she sounded incredulous. Get a grip!
Sean looked uncomfortable and shrugged. “It helps me keep track of my improvement.”
“Improvement, huh? You think the new and improved Sean stands a chance against Manic Marshall?”
Sean smiled despite himself, his body relaxing. “Bring it on.”
She did.
They went through the old routine, both knowing it by heart. Sean had improved. He ran faster and longer. His yoga was pretty good, his large body bending and twisting almost normally. And of course, he was still crazy strong. That wouldn’t change any time soon.
Krista did well, too. She was still faster. Not much, but it counted. He beat her without a fight in the strength building, but she had him easily in yoga. She was taking classes, though, which was technically cheating. Not like she would admit it.