by K. F. Breene
It was like a person on a diet eating a bar of chocolate. She knew she shouldn’t listen, she knew it would just end up hurting more, but she couldn’t help herself.
“I didn’t think that was possible.”
Marcus put his hand lightly on Krista’s shoulder and steered her toward the bar. He did it in such a way that they were both on display. It was a move the guy probably did constantly.
“The managers are squawking with how much work he has already given them. They say he has unreal expectations. I think we can relate. But he won’t budge with the goals he sets. They’re calling him a ball buster. Well, that and a pretty boy.”
“All true.”
“The women in the company are gaga over him. A Senior VP salary in a young, hot bod? They’re sold. Half my department is trying to—“
“Marcus,” Krista held up a hand for him to stop, then used the same hand to wave at the male bartender. With the way he smiled at her, she’d get a few free drinks tonight. “I don’t want to know.”
Marcus looked at her closely. “You’re still gone on him, huh? I thought that was over.”
“Yeah. It is. His choice two-and-a-half years ago. Then again six months ago.”
“Uh oh. Bitter Betty needs a shot! Lemme get a hot straight man over here to buy it for you. Hold on.” Marcus started gesturing to someone or other as Jasmine and Kate came over, arguing about which was more potent, a double shot of whisky, or a Long Island Iced Tea.
Once they all had seats together, they commenced upending drinks into their faces.
Half a night later, Krista was buzzed and surrounded by a crowd of good looking men giving her, Kate, and Jasmine endless attention. She was having a fantastic time! There were a few people from work, but they were all cool, so Krista didn’t worry about making an ass of herself. Luckily, as Marcus promised, none of the hot men doting on her were a part of the work crew.
She was at the bar, instructing one of the hot men in what she wanted to drink, when from behind her came, “Krista.”
It was as if a tongue licked up her spine. Krista’s back went rigid. She slowly turned around, forgetting completely about her drink or the hoard of available men vying for her attention.
Sean was lounging at the bar, looking at her with a confident smirk. He was wearing blue jeans and a white, ribbed, button down shirt that showed his flawless biceps and hinted at his mouthwatering pecks.
Mentally she was furiously clicking the heels of her sparkly red shoes.
“Hi, Sean. Didn’t expect you here.”
Sean surveyed the bar, getting the lay of the land, before his eyes came to rest on hers. They didn’t waver. “I was told it would be a good time. I see you took my advice.” Krista felt heat lick her where his eyes raked over her body. “You look beautiful.”
“Thanks. Yeah, thought I’d get wild tonight. I haven’t had a decent hangover in a while.”
The nameless hot man that was getting her a drink touched her shoulder. She turned to him, smiled, grabbed the drink, winked, and told him she’d see him in a minute. She was being a huge cock-tease to all of her followers. That was part of the profile.
She was sitting on her stool with her legs crossed, most of her left leg showing through the large slit in the dress. She swiveled half-way back to Sean, now facing away from the bar, surveying the scene.
“Your admirers?” he asked with infallible confidence, looking pointedly across her body to the hot men.
“Um, yeah, I guess. You know what it’s like.”
“I do, yes. As you know.” He turned toward the bar. It was the move that would usually have women swiveling further toward him, worried they’d lost his attention. She knew that move. She knew he’d spent a lifetime perfecting it with the goal of getting women into his bed. She hated that he was using it on her.
Krista was up and walking away before he’d completely turned to the bar.
“Krista—“
She half-turned with a hand up, stopping him. “I told you not to bring that man around me, Sean. I hate him. I don’t trust him. You bring out the womanizer, and I walk away.”
Sean took a step back with surprise lighting his face. “Sorry, I—“ He shook his head, his confidence ebbed. “Krista, I’d like to talk to you.”
His cologne penetrated her comfort bubble. A thousand memories flooded her mind, choking her. “About what, Sean?” she managed.
“I’d like to explain some things.”
He was looking at her in a cloud of intimacy. Her heart thudded and her breath came fast. He could still do that to her. After all this time, after all he had done, he could bungle her emotions with a look. The dam broke.
“What things, Sean? Things like how you cut me off two years ago and sent me packing? Things like how you did it again, with finality, six months ago? Things like not communicating or contacting me in all that time? Telling me to be happy? Find someone else and be happy? Huh, Sean? Those things?”
He blinked at her, his confidence now evaporating. She took that as a sign to push her luck. “Or what about things concerning you spending two and a half years planning to work for the company I got hired into and never mentioning it to me? Not once! We sat on a surf board in the middle ocean with no one around, talking about a new job offer, changing locations, and you never even hinted that you were planning a hostile takeover of my life. Again. You cut me off, pushed me away, told me to find someone new, and then followed me to rub it in. Couldn’t you let me handle your rejection in peace, Sean? Did you have to then show up and flaunt it?”
Crying and hysterical, Krista was making a scene and did not care in the slightest. It was all coming out. All the hurt and torture were being purged. She only hoped Marcus was doing damage control.
“Oh God, Krissy, that wasn’t my intention. That was never my intention…”
“What wasn’t your intention, Sean? Dumping me, or following me around the state to rub it in?”
“Krista, I came to this region because you were single. If you were still with your boyfriend, I would have gone elsewhere. All that I’ve done over the last two years has been for you. I moved down here for you.”
“That’s bullshit. You wanted Junior VP before I met you. You stayed for you.”
“Yes, but I didn’t plan to work with Tory until it was clear you would accept his offer. I worked like a dog to get that promotion. If you had stayed in San Francisco, I wouldn’t have worked so hard. So fast.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I couldn’t follow you down here right away because I was just a salesman. I needed VP in my title so I could move with some clout. Tory talked about bringing me on, but I needed upward mobility. I made an agreement with him. If I could show myself worthy in Dexico as VP, then he would consider me. I worked harder than I ever had in my life to make the move as fast as possible. I was against the clock. It was only a matter of time before you moved on. Then, in San Francisco, I thought you had moved on and it was all for nothing—I wasn’t going to take the job. But then you became single—I want to be able to provide for you. For our future. I love you, Krista. I’ve always loved you.”
It happened before she knew it. She didn’t mean to, but her hand moved of its own accord. She slapped him across the face. As hard as she could. A resounding smack echoed. To Sean’s credit, after the initial shock of it, he didn’t move. He didn’t get angry. He looked at her solemnly.
“You righteous asshole!” she screamed.
Sean’s face screwed up in confusion, red already showing where her hand met his cheek. “I don’t understand.”
Her tears, having subsided slightly over his dialogue, renewed in force. “Why didn’t you tell me to wait for you? Three years of my life I’ve been half a person. I’ve been a shell. I would have waited! I would have stayed true to you. Why did you hurt me like that, Sean, if you intended to follow me the whole time? Why didn’t you tell me? Confide in me? Why?”
She was begging at the end, he
r legs giving out slightly. Sean stepped forward and caught her easily.
“I wanted you to be happy, baby,” he said urgently in her ear. “You don’t deserve a man that couldn’t drop everything and go with you. You don’t deserve a man that let you leave. I didn’t know how long it would take. How could I ask that of you?”
“What if I had married someone else? Did you think of that? I would have done that only to try and forget you. To move on—to try and be happy, like you said. And I would have regretted every day of it. It was my choice to wait, Sean. My choice. Not yours.
“No, you know what?” She pushed away from him violently. Pain lanced his face. “You were only trying to protect yourself! Love is hard, but my moving got you off the hook. I was closer to you than any other woman has been, and that scared you. So you said, ‘Be happy, Krista, find someone that can love you better.’ That’s not noble, Sean, that’s cowardice. You took the easy way out, leaving me to take the harder road. You worked like a dog for you. You chanced losing me for your pride. Well, guess what, Sean, congratulations, you lost me! I hope it was worth it!”
She struggled away from him, pushed past an admirer that strayed too close to the train wreck, and burst out of the bar. She was bawling so hard she leaned against the wall to prevent herself from falling. She could have had him again. He would have gotten back together with her. He might have tried to push her away initially, but in the end, he did come for her.
Except, it was on his terms. The last two and a half years were on his terms. Krista was still just a pawn. The variable in his equation.
And she was tired of not having control of the game. Of her life.
She felt hands on her shoulders and flailed before she realized it was Kate.
“Calm down, honey, it’s just me. Let’s get you home. Jaz and Ben are helping Marcus with damage control then they’ll follow, okay? They’ll pick up more beer on the way—you won’t remember tonight when we’re done, okay?”
“It hurts, Kate.” She cried into her best bud. Onto her, more like. She had to bend down to reach Kate’s shoulder.
Kate walked a sobbing Krista to the curb and a cab. They climbed in together, bumping off the door and landing in a crash onto the plastic seats.
“I know it hurts, sweetie. But you did what was best for you. He needed that. I love Sean, but he thinks he rules the world. He wants control of everything, including you. Including your relationship. That isn’t balanced. It isn’t fair. You did what was right for you. That’s all that matters.”
Krista dipped her head as the tears fell. “But I love him.”
“I know, sweetie. But you love you more. You need to look out for yourself if he won’t. You can’t look out for him if no one is looking out for you, you know? I sound like a fucking idiot right now, but trust me, it’s for the best. You did the right thing.”
“Okay.”
Kate hugged her and stroked her hair, letting Krista sag and close her eyes against the pain. Krista wished for sleep. For painless sleep. Instead, she was taken home and given mass quantities of alcohol.
“Bottom’s up, girl. Let’s drink it away tonight. Then tomorrow, the hangover will drown out the hurt, okay? After that, exercise, work, and healing. It’ll be a long road, but we’ll do it together, okay? Bottom’s up. We’ll forget together.”
And so it went. Jasmine and Ben met up with them when Krista was still seeing straight. By the end of the night, that was remedied. They did some karaoke, Krista cried a little. and Ben moped—he was still heartbroken, too. They did some twister, Krista cried some more, and Ben moped more animatedly. They ended up passing out in various places in the house. Krista had been rejected by Sean, even though he came back to collect the pieces he’d made, but Krista had never felt so loved by a group of people than she did that night.
Monday was another story, altogether. All four of them were wrecked on Saturday, so they went for the hair of the dog. That turned into another drunken fest, in which Ben finally broke down while Krista was sobbing. They held each other up as Kate and Jasmine took turns singing sad ballads and yelling at men trying to hit on them. Sunday they nursed their hangovers with grease and sleep, and Monday they still felt like dog poop. But they all felt like it together.
It was mid-day and Krista was debating lunch when Marcus rolled in.
“Geegee, what are you up to?” he said in his easy way as he sat down.
“Well, Marcus, I’m glad you asked. You see, I do what is called work. Basically, I show up to this place for a certain amount of time, do things that are asked of me, and get paid for it. It really cuts down on my social time, but I manage.”
“About your social time…”
Krista lost her sarcasm to fear. “How bad is the rumor mill?”
“Well, I had to get partially naked to keep everyone’s attention on Friday--”
“I’m sure you hated that.”
“—and the band was pretty loud, so we could only hear every fifth word or so. We got the gist but the details were missed.”
Krista relaxed a little until he said, “But the rumor mill is in full swing. I took the liberty of sampling the waters this morning.”
“How did I fare?”
“Well, I’ll tell you: Sean is ahead in the polls on a generic level. The overall consensus is that you are a fool for turning him down in any capacity. Besides that, the married people think that he showed his worth by coming for you eventually. Apparently that is enough for most of the married women. I would like to add a side note that possibly marriage isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, based on that perspective.”
Marcus cleared his throat. “The single women do agree with you for the most part, but still think you are a fool, of course. They are under the impression you should, at least, have used him for sex. Too hot to let go, obviously. The gay men think he should’ve been put out with the trash, but beforehand used for sex. The straight men don’t want to be caught talking about relationship issues, but have taken even more of an interest in trying to get you in bed. Beware. They think you are feisty and, therefore, good in the sack.”
“They are right, obviously. Great in bed,” she said sarcastically, rubbing her eyes.
“I’m sure, yeah. Anyway, that’s about it. It could be a lot worse. That scene is only being talked about because you are the two best looking people in the company, besides me, of course.” Marcus paused for effect. Krista rolled her eyes. He continued, “You two are such demanding assholes most people think you deserve each other. Oh, and Chet is a celebrity. The abused, misunderstood ex-boyfriend of the Big Bitch. Thank God he got out in time, and all that.”
“Crap, Chet. I had forgotten about him. Poor guy.”
“Yeah, I believe there was one instance where you said you might have married and regretted it. That wasn’t too complimentary to the guy. I wouldn’t have let you marry that tool, of course, but that is beside the point. He is getting a lot of pity sex.”
“Chet’s not a tool. He’s a good guy. He was good to me.”
“Krista, you were too love sick to realize that he was a sensitive, insignificant tool with no personality. He dropped his panties for you because he needed someone to guide him through life. I love you, dearest, but you can bully the best of ‘em.”
“Except Sean.” She leaned back and sighed. Hurt consumed her again. She focused on the remnants of the hangover, instead.
“No, you bullied him, too. He just knew how to manipulate you to compensate for it.” Marcus smiled like the Cheshire Cat and got up. “Well, now you are caught up. I have to dash. I have to do some work today before the boss catches on.”
“Enjoy messing around while you can. Sean’ll have you under him sooner or later.”
“Ooooh, yes please. I’ll take your sloppy seconds any day.”
“Eww.”
Marcus laughed. “And what is it I hear about you being a thorn in the other managers’ side? They don’t seem to like you…”
Kri
sta rolled her eyes. “No, they don’t. I’m hoping they’ll come around. They aren’t much fun.”
Marcus waved it away. “No one is as much fun as me. You’re setting your sights too high, doll.”
“I hear that a lot.”
Marcus laughed again and made his way out with a “Ciao.”
Chapter Nine
Krista shook her head and checked the time. “Shit!” Someone that was passing by looked into the office.
“Language,” she muttered to herself as she got up.
She had to let the department know that Kate would be taking over her job, and that she would be stepping up to Phil’s position. That rumor was already circling, so it wasn’t a surprise, but she needed to follow protocol.
Swaying slightly after standing, she walked into the middle of the room and waited until everyone fell silent. All eyes looked up at her expectantly, but also with various traces of guilt. They obviously weren’t talking about work when she walked in.
The only thing worse than dealing with heartache, was it being broadcast on company speakers. Krista was getting a small dose of what celebrities had to endure, but without the money to compensate.
“Alright, you’ve all heard the rumors, I take it?” A few heads nodded, a few eyes got wide.
“Well, it’s none of your business, but since it has to do with your boss, I’ll say this. Yes, I sometimes dress slutty on the weekends. And yes, I am a heartbreaker, no big deal. And no, I am not going to date any of you, so don’t bother asking. Are we good?”
The semi-circle of seated faces smiled for the most part, sharing the joke. She got a scowl from a woman in her fifties. You couldn’t please them all.
“Right. Let’s move on to business. As you know, there are some big changes happening in the company—“ Everyone looked startled and glanced behind her.
Kate’s eyes went back to Krista immediately.
Sean was leaning against the wall in the entryway of the department. With butterflies, Krista turned to him expectantly. The fastest way to dispel the rumors was to act as if they were unfounded. Plus, she was a freaking professional!