by K. G. Reuss
“So get a boyfriend!”
“Uh, I can’t even get a date to homecoming, Mel. How the hell am I supposed to just acquire a boyfriend?”
“That’s where I come in! I talked to Chad, and he said he has a friend named Brandon who is in the market for someone to hang out with. You could be that someone!”
“Mel, I appreciate where you’re coming from on this, but maybe it’s not something I should be pursuing right now,” I answered, my voice tiny as I thought about what would happen when I went out on a date with someone and accidently lit him on fire. I could see the headlines in the newspapers:
Crazed Teenager Sets Date on Fire While Reaching for Popcorn
I winced at the thought.
“Maybe it’s exactly what you need right now, Ana,” Mel cut in before I could let my tragic thoughts wander further. “Think about it—they all think you want their men. Get one of your own and problem solved!”
I sighed and picked at a piece of lint on my sweater, wondering how bad it could possibly be to try. Maybe it would take my mind off all the strange things happening to me.
Or maybe it would make things worse.
“No, I don’t think so,” I responded softly, the terror from the flames still fresh in my mind. “I think right now I really just want to be left alone, Mel. I want some time to sort through things. Maybe in a couple of weeks if I’m feeling better, you can set something up for me.”
“Ana, what’s going on?” Mel asked, the concern evident in her voice. “Just a few days ago, you were all about dating and homecoming, and now you’re acting all weird. If it’s Courtney and Sasha, then let’s do something about it.”
“It’s . . . it’s not them. Not really, anyway. I’ve just not been feeling well these past few days. I think I really need to relax and not stress. I’ve been having bizarre dreams, and I’m tired, Mel. I promise everything is OK. I think I just want some time to myself right now.”
“OK,” Mel answered slowly. “I’m not going to push you. But I know you aren’t telling me everything, so I’m just going to say this, you know where to find me when you’re ready to talk.”
“Thanks, Mel,” I smiled sadly at her intuitive nature. She knew me so well.
We hung up shortly afterward, and I rolled over in my bed, terrified of what might happen when I closed my eyes.
I wasn’t disappointed.
He’s nearby. I can feel him. The air crackles whenever he’s too close to me.
I take a small, quiet step to the large, heavy, wooden door and push my hand against it, making it slowly creak open. He’s standing there, his back to me, shrouded in his long, black cloak as he stares out over the balcony to the dark city below.
This place, it’s his home. The walls are made from coarse dark stone, and the candelabra holds the stubs of barely there candles, their flames dying as the cold night wears on. His bed is messy, but I know he hasn’t been sleeping in it. He’s been busy doing things that make my stomach twist into knots.
He’s whispering, upset. The electricity in the air magnifies, and I can feel the hairs on my arms stand on end.
Without warning, he reaches out and overturns a table laden with scrolls and various other trinkets. The sudden movement causes me to take a frightened step back.
He continues to trash the room, the air thick with his anger. He moves swiftly, and my eyes are barely able to follow his movements as he rips apart pillows and shatters the delicate stoneware on a nearby table.
When he runs out of things to break, he falls to his knees, buries his hidden face in his hands, and sobs. I want to go to him. I need to go to him. He is my flame and I am his moth.
I approach him hesitantly, wanting to see his face, to see the tragedy written upon it. I reach out and place my hand on his shoulder, and the despair and bleakness that engulfs me makes me want to vomit.
His head snaps up at my touch and he looks around trying to find me, but I am just a dream. I catch the moonlight reflecting off his dark eyes and recoil.
I see no face. There is only the bottomless blackness of his dead eyes, the whites completely gone. The eyes of the hopeless, of a darkness so grand and tragic, it takes my breath away.
He is the Nihilist, the Destroyer, a puppet for his Master. All is lost in his eyes, and I know if I give in, I too will fall victim to this tragic story.
Our story.
Chapter 10
I awoke the next morning with a desperate need to clear my head. The fever had abated, but it was still there. I wanted to push past it, though, so I quickly got ready for school, making sure to stuff my running clothes into my backpack. I had every intention of walking to school and then going for a run afterward since there wouldn’t be cheerleading practice today.
I kept my head down and made it to my first class without a hitch. The seat Calix sat in was empty, and I felt my heart thrum a little for whatever reason. I wondered where he was. It didn’t feel right—I didn’t feel right—without him beside me. I glanced around and saw Sasha was in class so that couldn’t have been the reason.
Fifteen minutes into class, my head snapped up, and I looked expectantly toward the door. It was like a weird sixth sense I had about it, and moments later, there he was, all tall and swoon-worthy, waltzing through the doorway.
Mr. Gillis didn’t say a word to Calix as he sauntered into the room and over to his seat. He slouched down into it, a bored looked on his handsome face. I fidgeted uneasily in my seat as his presence threatened to suffocate me.
When Mr. Gillis cut us loose, I turned to Calix and studied him for a moment, wondering if I should say anything.
“Like what you see?” he inquired with a raised eyebrow.
I felt my face stain red with embarrassment and shook my head quickly, then looked away. I made sure to busy myself with our lab supplies.
“You know, it’s OK to want, Ana,” his soft voice cut into my embarrassment.
I looked at him wide-eyed, wondering what he was talking about.
“I-I don’t want anything,” I stammered, letting out a nervous laugh.
“Are you sure? You look like you know exactly what you want, but are too fearful to grasp it.”
“Uh,” I said breathily, feeling like my entire body was on fire, and then silently praying I wouldn’t be demonstrating my newfound ability for my classmates.
“What’s wrong?” he persisted, his desire to make me feel uncomfortable working.
“N-nothing. I think we should work on our lab,” I said, wiping at my sweating, feverish brow. How is it I could be feeling entirely normal, but one word from him would make me feel like I’d stepped into a circle of raging fire?
“I think life would be so much easier for you if you just let go once in a while,” Calix continued, his eyes tracing my every movement as I nervously rattled around beakers and chemicals.
“What makes you think I don’t let go?” I asked, trying to gain control of the conversation.
“Kiss me,” he stated evenly. “Right here.”
“W-what?” I blubbered, dropping my pencil. It rolled off the table and fell to the floor with a soft clatter.
“You heard me, Princess. Or are you too uptight?”
“I-I,” I stammered, my tongue and stomach both twisted into knots. What was happening? He couldn’t be serious. He was crazy. And the worst part about it was that in the back of my mind, I was considering it.
I shook my head at how ludicrous this entire situation was. “You’re with Sasha,” I said softly, breathing out as my hands shook.
“Am I?” he asked quietly, sliding closer.
The heat from his body came off him in waves and made my head spin.
“I don’t make out with other people’s boyfriends,” I stated evenly, desperately trying to come to my senses. Calix had an intoxicating effect on me, one I could feel all the way to my toes.
“Oh, I’m sure a title wouldn’t stop you,” he coaxed, his fingers tracing my knuckles gently.
<
br /> I sucked in a breath as the electricity zinged through my body. The feeling was delicious, making my head feel muddled, confused, like I was lost in his words, willing to do whatever he told me to.
“Despite your apparent thoughts about me, Calix,” I said acidly, finally able to pull myself together, “I am not the type of girl to intrude on someone else’s relationship, no matter how new it is or who it’s with.”
“You have no idea what I think about you,” he said, the silkiness gone from his deep voice. “Besides, I’m fairly certain that soon enough, you’re going to lose your holier than thou persona, and you will be sharing stolen kisses with someone. I just figured since it’s bound to happen, it may as well be me.”
“Ugh,” I rolled my eyes at him. “You have the personality of a snake, the attitude of someone more important than yourself, and the emotional range of a pebble. I’m sorry if I’m not interested in canoodling with the great and powerful Calix Night!”
Calix grinned at me, and the smile reached his eyes, lighting up his impossibly dark demeanor.
“I’m more snake-like than you know, more important than you can imagine, but you are right. My emotions are a little stagnant.”
I shook my head at him and was just about to let him know what I thought about his existence when Sasha interrupted with a breathy giggle.
“Hey, Calix. I missed you last night,” she said touching his arm.
He winked at me before turning his attention to her, and I rolled my eyes. I busied myself with our lab and ignored them, lost in my thoughts about the conversation we’d just had.
Where did he get off thinking I’d want to kiss him? And in the middle of class in front of everyone? He was crazy. Insane. But I scolded myself because deep down, I had wanted to throw caution to the wind and do as he asked.
I had enough problems. Making out with the boyfriend of one of my enemies didn’t seem like the best plan of action, and I grimaced as I thought about the repercussions.
“Right, Ana?” Calix’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts, and I looked at him, exasperated.
“What?” I ventured wearily.
“We were just talking about what rejection is like,” he continued smoothly, a dangerous glint in his midnight eyes. “I was telling Sasha to go easy on you. It’s hard on someone like you, when rejection is all you know. I mean, you’ve never been out on even one date, right?”
“Oh, go to hell,” I snapped at him. “And for the record, I have been out on a date before. Just because I rejected you doesn’t give you the right to start crap with me!”
A triumphant grin swept his handsome features. I stuffed my books into my bag and caught sight of the confused look on Sasha’s face as I stood up to leave.
“You shouldn’t run away from me, Ana,” Calix scolded sweetly. “After all, the chase is the sweetest.”
I gave him a rude gesture, which made him chuckle as I swept from the classroom, not in the mood for any more of his crap.
I managed to make it through the rest of the day without a hitch, thanks to staying in the third-floor girl’s bathroom at lunch and the fact that I didn’t see Calix for the remainder of the day.
I hurried outside when the bell rang without so much as a look over my shoulder. I wanted to go running. I was going to suffocate if I didn’t get out of there soon.
“Ana!” Kellin shouted, jogging over to me. I sighed and pulled my long blonde hair up into a ponytail as I waited for him. I’d already changed into my running clothes before the final bell had gone off. I had made sure to have an entire homework-free night, too, so I didn’t even worry about bringing my bag with me.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, stopping in front of me and looking down at me with his impossibly blue eyes.
“I feel tired. Overwhelmed, annoyed, confused,” I said, the words tumbling out of my mouth before I could think.
“Wow. OK. Do you want to talk about it?”
“No, I don’t,” I sniped, looking past him to see Courtney and Sasha watching us from the sidewalk with nasty looks on their faces.
“Where are you going?” he asked, looking me up and down, concern etched on his face. “Why’d you walk to school this morning? It’s getting cold out, and you’ve been sick.”
“I’m going running, Kellin,” I sighed. “I just want to be outside. I need to clear my head.”
He reached out instinctively and touched my forehead. “You’re still running a fever, Ana,” he said, frowning at me. “Just go home and rest. You need to rest, not run. Not with this . . . illness.”
“Please, don’t,” I said, looking away from him.
“Don’t what?” he asked, confused, dropping his hand to his side.
“Act like you care, Kellin. Leave me alone. Courtney is watching, and I don’t have it in me to combat two enemies at once. I mean, thanks for your concern, but I’m fine without it.”
“Ana,” he said, his brow furrowed as he looked from me to Courtney. “Let me help you.”
“With what, Kellin? Getting over you?” I snapped my mouth shut the moment the words had fallen from my lips. I hadn’t even wanted to admit them to myself, but there they were, ugly and exposed, which is exactly how I felt in that moment as he stared down at me in shock.
“Getting . . . what? Ana?” he asked, sucking in a deep breath, his eyes widening at my revelation.
“Just forget it. I’m sick, Kellin. Delirious even. I-I have to go,” I said, my face flaming red.
I ducked my head and walked as fast from the scene as I could, feeling mortified. I couldn’t believe I’d just admitted my feelings to Kellin.
Chapter 11
I ran until I thought my lungs were going to give out, with my heart pounding and my head aching. I was sweating and knew it had to do with not only the vigorous run but also the fever still niggling at me.
I rolled the recent events around in my mind, trying desperately to sort through everything. Had there been flames on my hands in the girl’s bathroom? And what about the strange visions? And Kellin. Oh, God, Kellin.
I winced as I replayed my words to him over and over.
OK, so I did like him. I hadn’t wanted to admit it, but there it was. Lately, though, there was Calix. He was pushing confusing thoughts around my head too. He was mysterious, dangerous in a frightening, quiet way, with an abrasive personality that left me on pins and needles. And the way I felt around him, well, I’d never felt that much of a charge with anyone. Not even Kellin.
What was I going to do about it, though?
Nothing. That was the perfect response. I was just going to continue on like none of this, flame hands included, were happening.
I started my run again along the familiar dirt path, the dull thud of my feet hitting the ground echoing in my ears. Suddenly, my body felt like it was on fire again, and I stopped to look down at my hands. When I saw they weren’t ablaze, I breathed out a sigh of relief. However, I was so warm, I thought I might choke on the heat. I gulped down breath after breath of cool air, but it didn’t help quell the fire raging within me.
I looked around and saw I had made it to the small lake at the edge of the woods, so without thinking twice, I peeled off my clothes, leaving only my bra and underwear on, and practically threw my sweltering body into the cold autumn lake water.
I gasped at the sudden shock, but quickly acclimated to the waters and felt the hotness leave my body. I had no clue if it was caused by my long, vigorous run, or if something else was at work, but whatever it was, I was feeling better.
I floated on my back for a long time, my head aching slightly as I looked up to the darkening sky. I was far from my house, and it would take me a long time to get back, even if I was running full speed. I let out a deep, calming breath and rolled onto my stomach to swim to the shore. I was shocked to find someone on the shore staring at me, a smile on his face.
Chapter 12
“Well, look who it is,” Calix smirked at me as I was treading water. He w
as dressed in dark running pants and a hoodie, both of which somehow made him appear even hotter than I thought possible. I shot him an angry look and glanced over at my clothes lying next to him. I silently scolded myself for thinking this was a good idea.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded, my body shivering in the lake water.
“Thought I’d go for a run. I can see it was a good idea now that I’m here,” he replied idly, his coal-colored eyes fixed on me.
“You often just decide to go for long runs in the woods?” I snapped irritably.
“What, are you the only one allowed to do that?” he countered, a cocky look on his face. I rolled my eyes and let out a sigh.
“Look, I’d like to get out. Can you please turn around?”
“Oh, you’re not dressed, are you?” he asked bending down and picking up my clothes. He grinned at me and I had the sudden urge to kick him in his perfect teeth. As if he didn’t already know I was only in my underwear.
“I’m serious, Calix. Turn around. I’m cold and I need to get dressed,” I said through my chattering teeth. He surveyed me for a moment before taking a few steps to the water’s edge and dropping my clothes. Without a word, he walked back to where he’d been standing and turned around.
I took the opportunity, and hurried to the shore, where I pulled my clothes on over my wet body. I was now freezing. I shook my head in disbelief. I couldn’t seem to get my body temperature under control, and it was annoying. First, I’m on fire, literally, and then I’m normal, followed by feeling like there was a furnace inside of me, and now I was shivering like I was standing naked in the Arctic.
“May I turn around?” he inquired as I was pulling on my shoes.
“Yes,” I grumbled, standing up and wrapping my arms around myself.
“What are you doing out here all alone when it’s almost night? This has to be a few miles from your house,” Calix commented as he turned to face me. I pushed past him and started toward the trail, not interested in pursuing a conversation.