by K. G. Reuss
I stared at the message for what felt like hours, reading and rereading it. Any other time, I’d have tossed it aside, but after what had transpired today with Calix, I wasn’t so sure. I chewed my lip nervously, my fingers fidgeting over the keypad, unsure if I should let him know where I was. But then, I didn’t even know where I was.
I am fine. Please do not worry about me. Calix is keeping me safe. I do not know where I am. Calix said it’s better this way. I trust Calix despite your misgivings. If you see Mel and my parents, tell them I’m sorry and that I love them.
I hit send and winced as I saw it had been delivered but was unread. I shut my phone off and closed my eyes, praying I could sleep in peace just once before I Transitioned and all hell broke loose.
Chapter 43
There were screams, and they tore a hole through my heart. I covered my ears and closed my eyes as the cries grew louder. I slid down to my butt and rocked myself in an effort to quell the strange feelings rising up inside of me. I felt fear, despair, pain, and none of it was my own. It was the people. The ones in the town.
I forced my eyes open and stared in horror at the burning town I sat in the center of. Children with their skin sizzling, their cries high and terrible, fell over around me as their mothers, some of whom were on fire, screamed and reached out for help.
Men on black horses rode through the town, torches in hand, lighting everything on fire. Men, women, children, and animals ran through the streets, tripping over one another in a panicky effort to escape. The men on the horses would thrust their sharp swords through their victims as they tried to escape, showing no mercy. Or maybe the mercy was death. I didn’t want to think about it.
And then there he was.
The Nihilist, on a horse so large and black with red eyes, that even I backed away knowing he couldn’t see me. The Nihilist pushed his blade forward, and it sliced through the torso of a terrified man, dropping him to his knees as he died.
I swallowed thickly wondering what had happened to the man I’d witnessed countless times showing love and compassion. This wasn’t him. Something had changed in him.
I heard trumpets sound, and the Nihilist looked up beneath his dark hood. I followed his gaze and saw a small army of men dressed in golden armor approaching, blue flags raised high in the air.
Dar’ish.
I knew it instinctively.
The army raced through the town, fighting the dark soldiers and showing them the same mercy shown to the people who had been set afire and carved up. The Nihilist made no effort to move. Instead, he sat on his horse and watched the scene unfold in front of him.
“Nihilist,” a man in golden armor hissed. “I’ve been wanting to meet you again.”
“And so you have,” he said in a monotone, sliding off the terrifying creature.
“Where is my sister?” the man in the golden armor shouted, jumping from his horse and drawing his sword.
“How would I know?” the Nihilist said idly. “If I had her, if I were bound to her, wouldn’t she be here on my arm doing my bidding?”
“My sister is a good woman and would never fall to the Darkness,” the man growled, moving forward.
“Ah, but she has fallen,” the Nihilist murmured. “She has fallen for the Darkness.”
The man in the armor lunged at the Nihilist and their swords clanked together loudly. I watched, mesmerized, as they fought, each an extraordinary swordsman. The Nihilist used flame, but it was quickly extinguished by the armored man’s wielding of the water element.
“Tell me where my sister is, and I’ll let you live,” the armored man shouted, his blue eyes flashing.
“You would give me no gift,” the Nihilist spat at him. “My only job is to die!”
The armored man came at the Nihilist and they parried and swung at each other again, sparks flying off their swords as they mercilessly clanged against one another. The Nihilist knocked the armored man to the ground and placed his sword at his neck. I caught a glimpse of a tattoo on his wrist and frowned, something unpleasant stirring in the pit of my stomach.
“Do it,” the armored man shouted, his face sweaty and bleeding. “Kill me.”
“No!” I shouted. “Please! No! He’s my brother! Please don’t hurt him! This isn’t you!”
The Nihilist hesitated and looked around, his face still hidden within his cloak.
“I know you’re here,” the Nihilist whispered. “I can feel you all around me, Analia. You are a part of me, and I am a part of you. Can you feel it?”
I swallowed thickly, the tears streaming down my face. All I could feel was despair and heartache.
“Please,” I whispered again looking over to my brother still laying beneath the Nihilist’s sword.
“If I kill him, you will not love me,” the Nihilist said softly, wiping at what must have been a small cut above his eye. “But if I don’t, the Master will punish you. Punish us. What punishment do I deal to you, my sweet Analia? The loss of your brother or the torture of the Master?”
“Punish me. I don’t care. I can handle the Master. I will freely go to him if you spare my brother.”
I choked the words out, knowing I’d do anything to save the brother I didn’t know. After all, he’d come to save me if the situation were reversed. I just knew it.
“Analia,” my brother managed to rasp out from beneath the sword. “No! Don’t you dare! If you’re still here, please, don’t do this! There will always be another way.”
I looked from my crumpled brother on the ground to the cloaked Nihilist and nodded.
“I swear on my life that I will end this. That I will save us. I will bind with you.”
The Nihilist stood staring at the place where I was on my knees begging, the cloak still covering him, his hand still firmly holding the sword to my brother’s neck.
“Your eighteenth birthday is two days away, Oracle,” the Nihilist said forcefully. “Are you prepared to do as you’ve promised? To bind with me?”
“Yes,” I replied softly,
“Then it is done. I will come for you in two days’ time.”
I screamed as the Nihilist shoved the sword into my brother’s shoulder. The blood gushed out in a crimson river and he moaned in pain.
The Nihilist looked down at my brother and spoke, his voice rough.
“The next time we meet, Prince Soran, I will not miss my mark,” the Nihilist stated before leaping onto his horse. I gulped as the horse and its rider blurred to nothing more than a black shadow and faded away.
When I turned back to my brother, his eyes were closed and he wasn’t moving. I rushed to his side and tried to reach out to him but there was nothing I could do, and I wept for him.
The scene faded away, and I floated through the darkness, my soul on fire and my lungs begging for air.
Chapter 44
I tried to pry my eyes open but I couldn’t. I was so hot. It was worse than when I’d first started Transition. I felt like I lay in my bed for days, drenched in my own sweat, the fever ravaging my body.
“Shh, be still,” I heard Calix whisper as I thrashed restlessly in the bed. He pressed a cool cloth to my head, and I moaned at his touch.
“Kill me,” I rasped. “Please.”
“Drink this,” he said, his voice pained. I felt the familiar flask touch my lips, and I opened my mouth and gulped down the bitter liquid. It did nothing to stop the fire burning within me.
“Make it stop,” I moaned, able to open my eyes to a narrow slit. Calix tried to wipe the sweat from my face but it was coming out of me in torrents. I noticed a small cut above his brow and shivered, trying to place what was happening.
“I can’t,” he answered sadly. “This is just how it has to be until you finish Transition. I’ll be here the whole time. I promise.”
“I’m afraid,” I breathed out painfully.
“I know, my sweet Ana,” he murmured back. My mind swirled around his words, and I prayed I wouldn’t put two and two together. It was
all too familiar.
I reached out desperately to grab onto something as I began the plummet into another vision.
“Ana,” Kellin spoke loudly. “I call to you, Oracle. Come to me!”
I fell to my knees as I landed in the vision, my head spinning, inside a large stone room.
I must be in a castle in Winterset, I thought to myself, trying to make sense of how he could summon me.
Kellin focused his gaze on where I’d fallen, and I stared up at his massive form fearfully.
“Ana, Princess, if you can hear me, please listen closely. You are in danger. I cannot get to you, and if I could, I fear it would not be in time. I do not know if Calix has told you about how we travel as Fae, but I need you to pay attention. Please, Ana. If you can hear me or see this in a vision, listen and do as I say.”
I tried to respond but I wasn’t able to, and I knew it wouldn’t matter. He couldn’t hear me.
“You are of Light. You can travel through the Light. Get to a safe spot. Go home, Ana. I will find you there. I’ve been trying a trace on you but you are so far away that I cannot locate you. Step into any light and focus on where you want to be. Focus hard, Ana, and keep that desire in your mind as you move to it. Never let it go. Just get out of wherever you are. Zaros has amassed a terrible, vast army. Our sources say he moves for you. The Nihilist is coming, Ana. Please, I hope you can hear me. Come to me so I can help you! I can’t lose you, Ana. I can’t.”
Kellin’s voice cracked and I stared at him, watching a tear stream down his perfect cheek.
“Get away from Calix. He won’t save you, Ana. He’s one of them! Please, step into the light and come to me!”
I was jerked out of the vision and quickly thrust into a flurry of images, all of them a montage of my life, of things I’d already experienced. I saw my childhood; my real mother staring fondly down at me; my parents’ stricken faces as Kellin held me in his arms and tore open a portal to Earth Realm; my adopted parents’ smiling faces; me on Christmas when I was eight, Kellin grinning at me over a slice of pizza; Mel’s laughing face; homecoming; Calix entering my life. Then I saw Kellin kissing me in the field of wildflowers in the woods after Kevin’s party, Kellin’s sad face as he looked defeated, watching me dance with Calix. There was Calix guiding me through my abilities. His kisses. His passionate face as he watched me wield my magic. The dagger to my throat as he stared down at me, not himself. His snake tattoo. The Nihilist as he loomed over my brother, the cut on his forehead, the tattoo peeking out from beneath his cloaked arm.
That voice.
The chilling, deep, accented voice I’d struggled to place, certain I knew it. Knowing I didn’t want to accept it.
Calix. My Calix.
My Nihilist.
I was slammed back to reality and my body arched. I levitated off my bed, my shrieks of pain and comprehension finally hitting me full force. The wind whipped around the room, knocking things over; the earth shook the floorboards and rattled the windows, I erupted into flames and the thunder rumbled as the rain poured down in waves.
The hour was midnight, and I, Ana Winters, had finally met my destiny.
I was the Oracle, and I had to end this.
Chapter 45
When I opened my eyes, sunlight was streaming into the room and Calix was nowhere to be seen. I sat up and looked around, my vision crisp, my senses incredible. Everything felt sharp, tangible. Even the air I breathed had an energy I could feel within it.
I rose to my feet and looked at myself in the mirror, then gasped.
I looked so different, yet I knew I was the same.
I was breathtakingly beautiful, my green eyes brighter than they’d ever been. My hair was thicker, sweeping down my back in blonde waves, my lips full and pink, my ears came to a very subtle point. I seemed taller, almost regal looking.
I looked down at my hands and flames appeared as I thought about them. They didn’t hurt me. Instead, it was like a gentle, pleasant tickle, like they belonged on my fingertips.
I breathed out and stretched, feeling like an entirely new person. And I guess I sort of was. I was the Oracle, the Seer, Bringer of Life. I hung my head, my heart hammering painfully in my chest.
Calix.
He had to be here somewhere.
What was I going to do?
I knew what I had to do. It was the beginning of my new life, and I had to put the old one to rest. I had to put this one to rest, too.
I walked to the bathroom and showered, going through my morning routine as if nothing were different. I knew deep down inside this was just my way of coping with what I had to do.
I pulled the lacy long white dress out of the closet and smiled sadly at it. My death dress. My birthday dress.
I put on the pretty gown and walked out to the living area. I saw Calix standing with his back to me on the patio, and I straightened myself and went out to greet him, the love I had for him causing the butterflies to flutter in my stomach. And then the fear of him making them twist into terrified knots.
Chapter 46
He didn’t say anything as I stood behind him. I eyed his tattoo warily, the snake, a symbol of his darkness. There were scars, jagged and angry, on his back, deeply embedded into his skin. I knew who had placed them there.
I prayed I was wrong. I silently begged I was.
“You’re awake,” he murmured without turning to me.
“Yes,” I replied. I placed my hand over my mouth quickly as I realized even my voice had changed. It was like a beautiful song escaping my lips, a small tinkling, pleasant sound.
He turned slowly to me, his dark eyes sad and heavy as they took me in.
“Breathtaking,” he murmured, eyeing me. “Like an angel.”
“Really?” I asked nervously, not knowing if he knew that I knew who he was. Who I hoped he wasn’t.
“The most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my entire life,” he said, stepping close to me. He reached out and placed his hand on my cheek. The zing of energy was so strong it made my knees buckle.
He caught me easily in his arms and pulled me close.
“Happy birthday,” he said softly into my ear before planting a sweet, gentle kiss on my lips. I kissed him back with wild abandon. I didn’t want him to be the Nihilist. He couldn’t be. Not my Calix.
When he pulled away, I saw the tiny cut above his eyebrow and my stomach sank. The same cut I knew the Nihilist had been wiping at as he held a sword to my brother’s throat.
“It’ll be OK, Ana,” Calix said, placing his forehead against mine. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”
He wanted my trust. He doesn’t know that I know, I thought frantically. He still thinks I’m in the dark about who he is. I grasped at the hope I could get away and do what I had to do before he realized I knew. It was the only way to save him—to save my family, my kingdom, Kellin. I couldn’t falter.
“I know,” I breathed out. I hesitantly leaned forward and pressed my lips to his again, a tear leaking out of my eye. He was not the Nihilist. Calix was gentle and sweet and compassionate. The Nihilist wasn’t. I’d seen him kill, raze a city, hurt children. He couldn’t be both people. He just couldn’t. Within the Nihilist, within all the torment and control he was under, was my Calix. I couldn’t let him go on living like that.
I would freely give my life for his.
He kissed me hard, passionately, his large hands touching me everywhere, drinking in my kisses like he was dying of thirst and I was the only one who could save him.
And I could. I would.
He pulled my dress off and I stood in nothing but my bra and underwear in front of him. His eyes took me in hungrily as I stared mesmerized at the large snake wrapped around his body. I reached out and delicately touched it, and I could have sworn it moved within his skin. He let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes as my fingers traced the snake up to his neck.
“I love you,” he whispered, opening his dark eyes.
“I love you,” I
replied painfully.
He lifted me up into his arms and carried me to our bedroom, where he placed me gently on the bed and loomed over me, a troubled look on his face.
“Yes,” I said to the question he wasn’t asking.
“Are you sure?” he murmured, his fingers tracing my jawline.
I nodded and he pushed me down onto my back and pressed his warm body on top of mine.
“There’s no going back, Ana. Do you realize this? What this means for us?”
“I understand. I want this, Calix. It may … it may be the last time we are ever together,” I choked out.
“No, baby. No,” he said hoarsely. “We will make it through this. I promise.”
I pulled him down to kiss me and let go of everything. I wanted to remember us like this, not how I had seen the future.
Chapter 47
I awoke hours later, naked, Calix’s arms wrapped tightly around me, the light from the setting sun spilling into the room.
“I was wondering when you would wake,” he murmured, brushing my hair away from my face.
“Were you watching me sleep?” I asked, biting my lip and praying I hadn’t said anything in my sleep.
“I was,” he said solemnly. “You’re so beautiful, Ana. What we did meant so much to me. You have no idea.”
He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, a look of serenity on his face. “I never want to lose you. Promise me that I won’t.”
“Calix,” I said delicately. “I can’t make you that promise. You know that, right? Just like you can’t make me that promise. Zaros is coming for me. The Nihilist... he is coming for me today.”
“I know he is,” Calix answered painfully, wincing, his body giving a small shudder. I bit my lip nervously and looked toward the setting sun.
“The light, it’s leaving,” Calix murmured, kissing my bare shoulder. “The darkness will be here soon, Ana.”