After dinner Princess Hope stood at the door, her orange, plastic pumpkin primed with the four pieces of candy she’d already taken from Carissa’s bowl.
“Hurry!” she yelled up the stairs at her sister as Thomas walked around the corner. “She’s taking forever.” “What is she doing?”
“Changing.”
“Changing?”
“Yeah, into her costume.”
“Oh.” He hadn’t realized she’d be dressing up.
Suddenly fantasies of Super Girl or Wonder Woman filled his head. He’d seen many costumes at the store. There had been that little French maid outfit and the devil. He felt his cheeks warm with his thoughts.
“Go get her,” Hope whined, and he laughed. “Okay.”
Thomas hurried up the stairs and tapped on her door
and opened it slowly. Any fantasy of Wonder Woman was gone when he looked at her.
“Gypsy?”
“Every year I’m a gypsy and Hope is a princess.”
“This is a sister thing, huh?” He moved behind her and moved the mass of black curls from her neck. Hidden under them were large silver earrings. “I like your hair like this.”
“Do you?”
He pressed himself closer to her and she let her body lean against his, feeling his intentions, and she smiled. “Thomas, I have to go beg neighbors for candy now.” She turned to him, the bangles on her arms clinking as she rose them behind his head. “Meet me at my parents’ house in two hours. Be nice to the kids too.”
“You’re going to make me give out all that candy, aren’t you?”
“Yes, and don’t leave any. I open the bag one hour before people start knocking on the door so I don’t eat it all.”
“Maybe I’ll throw the bowl into the bag of the first kid and call it quits.”
“That isn’t going to get me home and into bed with you any faster.” She turned from him and grabbed up a shawl.
Thomas snagged her around the waist with his arm and pulled her to him. “Just tell me you won’t change out of this outfit. I’d really like to have my palm read.”
“I can tell you already what it says.” She smiled wide. “You’re trouble.”
“I won’t be any trouble at all if you let me take that outfit off of you myself.”
She lifted up on her toes, gave him a gentle kiss, and went on her way.
The next morning Carissa zipped up her suitcase and carried it down the hall. Passing Thomas’s room she noticed him sitting on his bed, his hands clasped in his lap. It was no secret. The trip to Chicago was weighing heavy on his mind. She wondered if perhaps she should go alone to purchase the school’s instruments.
She stopped at the door and looked in. “Are you all right?”
“I’ll be fine.” He blew out a breath. “You’re all ready to go?”
“Yeah, I’ll just get this in the car and we can leave whenever you’re ready.” She inched into his room. “If you don’t want to go . . .”
“No. You didn’t run away when I told you my story. I won’t dismiss your trip. I just haven’t been back to Chicago since I was sixteen.” He let out a little laugh. “In fact the only time Pablo performed there while I was with him, I faked a sickness so serious he took me to the hospital. By the time I got there I was so worked up they kept me.”
Carissa felt sick to her stomach that she could hurt him by just making him go with her.
“I don’t want to cause you pain.”
“Carissa.” He looked up into her eyes. “I need to go, but I have a favor to ask.”
“Okay.” She stepped fully into the room and took his hands. “What?”
“I’ve never been to Sarah’s grave. Will you go with me?”
Her heart slammed in her chest. She knew just how big a step he was taking. They’d been living comfortably and his request moved them beyond that comfort zone and into a trust zone that hadn’t yet existed. “I’d be honored.” She smiled and pulled him to his feet. “C’mon. I’m hankering for Chicago pizza for dinner. If we get out of here in the next hour, we can have it.”
He nodded, gathered his things, and they headed to Chicago.
Lunchtime found them at a truck stop in Des Moines. Thomas pushed his Dottie’s Special Pot Roast around the plate with his fork. Carissa all but licked the ketchup from her plate once the fries were gone and the hamburger she’d chosen were history.
“It looks like I’m going to get that pizza for dinner after all,” she said with a rise of her eyebrows, but Thomas’s eyes never shifted. “I’d also like to go to the American Girl store and get something special for Hope tomorrow.”
He only nodded.
Her heart ached for him. She felt she was dragging him along a painful journey, but she had to remind herself that he’d asked to go. After all, she’d offered him an out.
“Thomas.” She waited for his eyes to shift to hers. “Really, we can find you a place to stay and I can go on by myself.”
“I have to do this. I have to face it, Carissa. I cowered and I ran.” He pushed his full plate out of his way and gathered her hands in his. “I don’t know what happened to my father or my mother after Sarah died.” He brushed his fingers through his hair and then settled them back onto Carissa’s hand. “She tried to call me once. My mother, that is. I was in Paris.”
Thomas squeezed his eyes tight. “Pierre was in the hospital there when she called. Pablo told her I didn’t want to talk to her ever.”
“How long ago was that?”
“About eighteen months ago, I guess.”
“Thomas, she was reaching out to you.”
“I know. I didn’t tell Pablo to end the call. He was . . . he was angry with me and that was his way of letting me know.”
“We should find her. You could—”
“No.” He shook his head. “I let that part of my life go. I need to move on.”
When his eyes lifted to hers, she saw something and wished she could have captured it. His eyes sparkled. They’d actually sparkled as if to tell her he was going to move on with his life and include her in it. She could have sworn the sparkle said I love you.
Heat rose in her cheeks and she kept the smile that surfaced. Inside her heart flipped, her stomach clenched, and her mind buzzed. He loved her. It wouldn’t be long before he told her so.
Carissa walked out of the lobby of the motel with the door key in her hand. Thomas stood, propped against the car. He still looked to her like Jimmy Stewart. He was so talented, so beautiful, and always just a little out of place.
“Okay, we’re set. I got us a room with two beds.” She kept a straight face as she approached him and headed toward the trunk to retrieve her suitcase.
“Good. You kick in your sleep.”
“That’s not me, pal, that’s you!” The words flew from her mouth as a joke, but the realism of them hit her. “I’m sorry.”
“If you’re going to protect me for the rest of my life against my own feelings, it’s going to irritate me.” He moved to her and touched her cheek.
There was a positive statement there. “I want to protect you for the rest of our lives,” she added softly.
“I’m fine.” He brushed her lips with his. “Now, what time is your appointment tomorrow?” He kept his mouth hovered over hers.
“Eleven,” she said on a sigh.
“Good.” He scooped her up into his arms, cradling her against him. “What room?” he asked as he began carrying her toward the motel.
She laughed. “Put me down,” she protested, but then nuzzled her lips into his neck. “Room one forty-seven.”
“Put the key in,” he instructed with urgency as he held her.
She aimed the card toward the door her lips still wandering a path against his neck. She slid it into the reader and sighed when the light turned green. She reached for the knob and twisted as Thomas kicked the door open with his foot.
“Ha! King-size bed. I knew you’d never sleep in a separate bed.” With an approv
ing nod, he laid her gently on the bed and lowered himself to her.
“What about the suitcases?” She was breathless beneath him as he lingered kisses on her neck.
“I’ll get them when I’m done.”
“Done with what?”
“You.” He began to unbutton her blouse and started a trail of kisses down her body.
CHAPTER TEN Carissa felt the chill off the lake blow through the buildings of Chicago as they walked out of the restaurant. Her head still spun from Thomas’s kisses and touches from that afternoon and they’d followed their lovemaking with pizza. She couldn’t think of a better day.
“Oh, I don’t think I’ve ever been so full in my life.” She rested her gloved hands on her stomach and grunted. “You had four slices of pizza. Chicago-style pizza isn’t
exactly a small meal.”
“I’m happy. I’m so very happy.” She wrapped herself
around his arm as they walked toward the car. “Is it pretty
here in the summer?”
“Yeah, it is. The lake is particularly nice with all the
boats and people.”
“I’d like to see it.”
“Maybe this summer we can come back and go out on
it.” He opened the passenger door for her.
“Go out on the lake? Really?”
“Yeah. I still have a friend or two in the area. Roberto
owns three sailboats. He’d be happy to let me borrow one
I’m sure.”
“You can sail?” Her eyes were open wide with the
information. He was opening up.
“Yeah, I can sail.” He smiled down at her as he shut
the door and climbed in behind the wheel. “So now what do
you want to do?”
Carissa turned fully to him in the darkness of the car.
“I want to go back to the motel and do what we did all
afternoon.”
Thomas rested his head against hers. His eyes closed
and she felt him breathe her in. “You’re not tired of making
love to me?”
“I don’t see that ever happening.”
He only nodded as he started the car. Well, he wasn’t sure about all that. Sooner or later things were bound to go awry. He’d yet to see a relationship withstand the word love. Even Sophia and David had thrown in the towel at one point. Carissa deserved to be in love with someone who wasn’t as pessimistic as he was. He wanted be with her. She was everything he’d ever wanted in a woman, but what he had to offer emotionally was nothing. If it were possible to have learned to give himself to someone, he thought he would have by now. Until she decided he wasn’t worth the time to love, he’d keep her close. He enjoyed the feeling of being wanted and desired, even if it wasn’t going to last. He enjoyed everything about Carissa.
Carissa woke as the sun edged in through the motel’s dark curtains. She squinted against its glare and turned toward Thomas. He was up and out of bed already. She let out a sigh.
She ran her hand over the sheets. They were cold. She listened but didn’t hear him moving about the room. The realization that she was completely alone in the hotel room had her sitting straight up in bed. He’d left her. Oh, God, he’d left her alone in Chicago. She’d thought he was opening up and beginning to love her, but instead he’d run.
She jumped from the bed and fell over the pile of clothes they’d tossed in the floor in their mad rage to get into the bed the night before. She pulled the sheet from the bed and wrapped it around her. The beating of her heart pounded in her ears.
When the door opened behind her she caught her breath as Thomas entered the room. Her heart raced at a frightening pace and her lips quivered.
Thomas’s eyes opened wide when he looked at her. “Are you okay?” He dropped the bag he carried and set a cardboard tray of coffee on the small table before reaching for her.
“I thought you left. I thought you’d run from me. I thought . . .”
“I told you. No more running.” His hand was holding the base of her neck and he’d wrapped the other around her. “Honey, I’m here.”
“But maybe you’d had another nightmare and run out of the room. Maybe, just maybe, you didn’t want to be with me. Maybe you’d realized I’m more trouble than you thought. Anywhere is better than with me.” She fell against his chest and he ran his hand over her hair.
“I’m sorry I scared you. I would never just abandon you.” He held her tighter. “I did leave a note,” he offered and she pulled her head back to look up at him.
“I’m sorry. I panicked. I didn’t even look for a note.”
“It’s all right. I just walked across the parking lot to the doughnut shop and got us some sweets for breakfast and some coffee.”
“Thank you.” She watched him pick up the bag he’d dropped and set it on the table.
“Carissa, tell me why you would think I would go?”
“Everyone I ever loved left me. You’re next. You’re going to figure it out, Thomas. You’re going to decide that your life is better off without me in it.”
“I can’t think of anything further from the truth. My life is certainly not better without you. Trust me.”
She swallowed the sob that had rushed to her throat. “I’m just going to get some clothes on.”
“Do you have to? I rather enjoy dining with you naked.” He raised his eyebrows playfully and she mustered a smile.
“Later.” She turned to the suitcase, pulled out an outfit, and locked herself in the bathroom. She lowered the toilet cover and sat down. The sob that had caught in her throat turned into tears stinging her eyes.
Love. It wasn’t an emotion she’d ever felt for anyone before. She raised her hand to her chest. Her heart still pounded.
She let out a breath and slowly got dressed. They had to meet with the instrument company and then he’d asked her to go with him to the cemetery. If the morning was starting out as emotional as it was, it was bound to get even worse.
They arrived at their meeting at exactly eleven. The man that waited inside for them had almost fallen over himself when he realized that Thomas was indeed the Thomas Samuel.
“I’m a great admirer of your work. I cannot tell you how pleased I am to meet you.” He continued to shake his hand.
“I really appreciate that.” Thomas gave a nod toward Carissa. “And if you’re familiar with my work, I’m sure you know of Carissa’s mother.”
The man turned to her. “Kendal?”
“I toured with her mother for years with Pablo DiAngelo. Sophia Burkhalter? She married a Kendal.” “You are Sophia Burkhalter’s daughter?” The man’s
eyes lit up.
Carissa smiled. “Yes.”
He clasped his hands together.
Carissa watched Thomas work magic. She’d fully intended to carry the meeting on her own, but the man was infatuated with Thomas and she was no fool to see Thomas knew how to work him. By the time they were done, they had all the instruments Carissa had hoped to purchase and a library of theory books that Thomas had insisted on—all for less than she’d budgeted to spend. Trying to be all business, she kept her excitement bottled until they pulled
away from the store.
“I can’t believe you were able to get him to drop the
prices.”
“All I did was ask.” Thomas grinned as he steered onto
the street.
“Well thank goodness you did. You saved us . . .” “Two thousand and fifty-three dollars,” he said and she
laughed at his precise number.
“Yeah, that.” She lifted her hand to his, which lingered
on the gearshift column between them. “Thank you.” “My pleasure.” Then his face hardened and he turned
his attention back to the road, turning into a parking lot of a
small floral shop whose displays filled the window. “I’m
going to stop and buy some flowers.”
&nb
sp; Carissa nodded. She climbed out of the car and took
his hand. She could feel his fingers tremble against hers.
She gave his hand a squeeze to let him know she supported
him.
Thomas appreciated the silence of the drive to the cemetery. He didn’t know what to say if Carissa began to ask questions. He slowed the car as they approached the front gate. He pulled up to the information building and left the vehicle. Carissa didn’t follow and he returned only a moment later, handing her a slip of paper.
“Avenue A, plot 218?” “The location of her plot. I told you, I’ve never been here.” He slid on his sunglasses and tried to blink back tears that were already forming in his eyes. His mouth had gone dry and his palms wet. Being back in Chicago was hard enough. This might prove impossible.
He maneuvered through the cemetery as if he were looking for a house in a small town. She pointed out the sign that marked Avenue A and he started down the small tree-lined road.
Thomas pulled the car to the side of the road, cut the engine, and sat quietly looking out over the sea of headstones. One of them was his sister’s. The image of the last time he’d seen her flashed through his mind. The happy moments they’d had sitting at the piano laughing blurred with the memory of his father chasing his sister and the fear in her eyes.
There was a pain in his chest. His first thought was to retreat, but then that was what he’d done when he’d left the hospital and run from his family. He watched as Carissa’s hand moved from her lap and reached for him. He took a deep breath and kissed her fingers.
“Let’s go.”
“Are you sure?”
This time he only nodded as he opened the door and
stepped out onto the cold gravel road.
Her grave marker was small. It seemed appropriate.
She was small. A mere child when she’d died.
Thomas brushed a tear from his cheek. Why hadn’t he
been there before? He’d always been there for his sister and
not only had he run from his life, but he’d run from her. He
laid the flowers he’d brought for her just above her name.
ENCORE PERFORMANCE (THE MATCHMAKER TRILOGY) Page 14