by Simone Kelly
We watched the EMTs work on her. I was still in shock. I couldn’t believe all this had happened when I had been gone for just a few minutes. “When did you get there?” I said to Hicham.
“Huh?” He wiped his eyes.
“When did you get to Mom’s?”
“Right after you. She said you’d just left.”
“What happened?”
His eyes darted back and forth. It was like he didn’t want to speak in front of the EMTs.
“I don’t know. She was making tea. I went to the bathroom and I came back and she was on the floor. I don’t know!” His hands were shaking.
We got to the hospital waiting room and they gave us paperwork to fill out for her. To me, though, his story wasn’t making much sense. I didn’t like it at all. He was saying “I’m sorry” when I first walked in. Why?
“So you went to the bathroom and did you hear her fall? What the fuck happened, man? What was there for her to fall on that hard to hurt her head like that? The floors aren’t that slippery.”
A policeman walked in. “Mr. Berradi?”
“Yes.” We both answered and got up.
“You are both her sons, correct?”
“Yes, yes,” we answered in unison.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?”
Hicham looked at me nervously. “We have to go to the precinct? Who is gonna stay to wait on Mom?”
“Oh no, you can come right down the hall.” We both followed him. He held his hand up to me. “No, please—one at a time.”
Hicham was gone for no more than fifteen minutes. He came back and sat down, wiping his brow. Before he could say a word, the cop followed behind him. “You’re up, sir.”
He was a short Latino man with a crisp white shirt and jeans and a badge around his neck. He was ultra-macho and seemed to have a bit of a chip on his shoulder. Napoleon complex, I’m sure. He sized me up, as I did him.
“Hello, I’m Detective Santos.” He shook my hand. “Sorry about your mother. Now, you want to tell me what happened?”
“Well, I went to church with my mom tonight around six thirty. We came back and she started to make tea. I had to make a phone call and went outside for a quick walk. Then I got the call from my brother, Hicham, to hurry back.”
“So, was your brother there with you? Or you and your brother weren’t there at the same time?” He started jotting down notes in a mini notebook.
“No, no. He wasn’t there when . . . when I left.” I was hoping Hicham hadn’t told him otherwise.
“How long were you gone?”
“Not long, like fifteen or twenty minutes.”
“There were some things on the floor,” Detective Santos said. “A Bible and a broken coffee cup. Do you know about that?”
I shook my head no. Of course, I knew about the Bible, but the coffee cup? I guess when she slipped it fell and broke. I tried to seem nonchalant, but my head swirled, trying to search for what happened. I wanted to close my eyes and see what I picked up, but I didn’t want to look strange.
“Do you know if your brother and mom were getting along? No altercations in the past?”
“Yes, sir. I mean no, sir, we all get along fine. This was an accident, you know? No one would do anything to harm my mother!” I was offended now.
“I hope so. We have to investigate to make sure. Her wound looks suspicious for just a slip and fall. We have to check these things out just in case. It’s just procedure,” he reassured me. But I could sense he didn’t trust us.
“Well, I can assure you it was an accident. We love our mother.”
“Okay, well thank you, Mr. Berradi. We’ll be in touch if we have any further questions.” He didn’t look up and jotted down some more notes. “You can go now.”
Asshole. I left calmly.
I had Mom’s purse and I looked through her phone and found Benny’s number. I told him to come down to the hospital right away and to tell her other friends. I figured the more of her friends who came to pray for her, the more it would help.
We sat nervously in the waiting room. I watched Hicham texting people and looking very uneasy.
“You want to tell me what really happened?” I whispered.
His eyes shifted back and forth. Guilt exuded from his pores. There was a heaviness in the air, almost as if he had a dark cloud around him.
“Yo, Jacques. I already told you, man. I feel bad already. I wasn’t there earlier.” He sighed.
“What made you come? You had company. What, because of what I told you about Mom?”
Hicham stood up quickly, mumbling, “Yo, Jacques, please tell me you didn’t invite this motherfucker.”
I looked up as Benny came rushing in. “What happened? Where is she?”
I got up and put my arm on Benny’s shoulder. Hicham watched him and I saw the fire in his eyes as if he knew. I was sure he saw the resemblance now, too, if he’d never caught it before. “They are trying to stabilize her now,” I said. “They think it’s a concussion. She slipped in the kitchen.”
“A concussion?” He shrugged my hand off his shoulder.
“What did you do?” he yelled. “You were starting trouble from the moment I saw you tonight, Jacques. Why couldn’t you leave well enough alone?”
“Whoa, you need to lower your voice. I wasn’t even there when it happened!” I said.
Hicham stepped in. “Yo, hold up, hold up. What did he do? What is your problem, man?” His voice was louder now. “My brother didn’t do shit. How you coming up in here beefing and you have no right. No say. You ain’t family!”
Scared by Hicham’s angry tone, Benny softened his. “Oh, Hicham, look . . . I’m just worried about Marguerite. I just—”
“Niggah, you ain’t family!” Hicham shouted in his face. His hand was balled into a fist.
I put my hand on Hicham’s arm and pulled him back.
The few other people in the waiting room watched in awe as if it were a movie. An overweight security guard wobbled in as fast as he could. “Hey! Hey! Y’all need to lower your voices or take that outside.”
I tapped Hicham. “Chill, man,” I said in his ear.
“No, chill. Fuck that! Answer the question, Mr. Maganelo. Uncle Benny.” He turned to me. “You know Mom wanted us to call him Uncle Benny? You don’t remember that shit?”
Hicham was pretty much fuming with anger at this point. He looked again at Benny, who was speechless and quite nervous. “Soooooo, what’s up? What gives you the right? You fucking my mom?” Hicham leaped from my grasp and poked Benny in the chest, provoking a fight. “What’s up? Are you the one that did that shit? You trying to pin it on Jacques?!”
“Okay, that’s enough.” The guard grabbed Hicham by the shoulder.
“Get off. I’ll leave.” He looked back at Benny with threatening eyes. Hicham grabbed his coat and kicked the metal garbage can on the way out.
The door slammed. “I’m so sorry, everyone. I’m really sorry.” I put my coat back on to follow him. Hicham had always been a loose cannon.
The door slammed behind me as the night air greeted me. Hicham was in front of the hospital, pacing back and forth. “Are you out of your fucking mind?!” I saw a young nurse standing on the side smoking, so I lowered my voice. “A detective was just here. The guards take notes on things like that. What is wrong with you? You can’t act like some gangsta in a rap video.”
“Sorry, but you know who the fuck you are. You ain’t just find out some mind-blowin’ shit!” He pointed toward the hospital doors. He was fuming. “This motherfucker ain’t living in your veins. They lied to me! They lied all my life! When was you gonna tell me, Jacques?”
My face went blank. I couldn’t even imagine the betrayal he felt. He knew. He knew everything. I wanted to take him away from there, but not too far away, in case the doctors called, so we walked around the hospital block to the parking lot.
“When was you gonna tell me?” he persisted.
“Today! I just found out tod
ay, Hicham!”
“Nah, I don’t believe you. You’re fucking psychic. How long you know? You never felt nothing? All this time?”
We walked farther away into the parking lot. I was afraid someone would hear him yelling. I tried to calm him down by not raising my voice.
“Look, I called you earlier to ask you about him, remember? I just got clear on everything. Dad’s been sending me messages in visions. They started when I was younger but they never made sense. He wanted me to know. I guess he wanted me to let you know, too.”
“Dad! Dad? Even the sound of that makes me wanna rip that niggah’s head off.” He pointed again to the hospital entrance. “All my life, I’ve been hangin’ off stories about a man who ain’t even my dad.”
“But he was, he loved you!”
“This faggot Benny ain’t never step up like a man and just tell me. Yo, Jay, I don’t know.” Hicham clenched his jaws and then punched his fist into his palm as he paced in a circle.
“He’s like sixty-five, Hicham,” I said calmly. I could tell what he was thinking of doing. “Look, right now, we gotta worry about Mom and pray that she gets better. You gotta keep cool with detectives sniffing around already.” I started to heat up and removed my hat. “What really happened, Hicham? Are you gonna tell me the truth?”
He looked up at the sky, fighting back tears. “I didn’t mean it. It was an accident, that’s my word. The second you started telling me something was up with Mr. Maganelo—I mean, Benny—I just didn’t feel right. I had a knot in my stomach. I hopped in a cab and came over.” He paused, waiting for my reaction. I just listened intently and didn’t show my anger. “I used my key and came upstairs. I heard y’all arguing. . . .”
My chest heaved as I listened. I felt horrible.
“I heard everything. When I heard you leaving, I ran up one flight of stairs and hid. I went in right after you bounced. She was frightened at first and I just went in on her. I was yelling . . . and . . .” He broke down crying. “I was yelling . . . and she was backing away from me. She dropped her cup and then slipped on the kitchen floor.”
I was furious now. “So you lied. You didn’t find her on the floor, you saw it happen.”
He shook his head, agreeing. “I tried to get her up, but she was out cold. I called 911 right after.” He sniffed and wiped his eyes.
The story just didn’t sound right. My spirit said there was something missing from the puzzle.
“How do you just slip?”
“She was trying to back away. I told you already!”
My cell phone rang and it was the hospital. “Mr. Berradi, are you still in the building? We need you to come back immediately.”
The bright sun peering through the hospital windows woke us up. It was eight thirty A.M.; we’d slept on squeaky cots to watch Mom all through the night. Still no change in her condition.
Hicham’s cell vibrated on the table. He picked it up and looked at it. Probably one of his girls. “Yo . . . I’ll be right back.” He walked outside the room to use the phone. As the nurse was leaving, he came back so fast he almost knocked her down.
“My bad, my bad. Sorry.”
“No worries.” She laughed and closed the door behind her. “Man! Jacques . . . Mr. Maganelo is out there talking to the damn detective!”
“Wow. Really?” I said.
“He better not say shit! My name better not come out of his mouth.”
“Easy.” I looked at Mom. “She’s out, but she can still hear you. Just relax. He can’t say anything. He’ll look just as guilty if he says the truth about him being mixed up with this. Don’t worry. Just chill out in here for a few.”
“Man, I don’t want to hurt that old man. But he better not say my name out of his mouth.” He cracked his knuckles.
A few moments later there was a light knock on the door.
“Hi, it’s Detective Santos. Mind if I come in?”
Hicham’s head fell back dramatically as he sank in the chair. He wanted to disappear—just like me.
I got up and opened the door. “Hey, there.” I smiled with a fake smile. “How can we help you?”
His voice was stern this time. “Come outside, so I can chat with you for a minute. I don’t want to disturb your mom.”
Hicham and I both walked outside into the hallway. The fluorescent lights were bright and intrusive.
“I heard I missed a little action last night.” He smiled wryly as he adjusted his badge around his shirt.
“Action?” I asked.
“Well, yes, word gets around. A little ruckus in the waiting room?”
“Well, not really. My brother is just a bit upset. We both are.” Hicham stood on the side biting his bottom lip. I knew he was holding back.
Detective Santos addressed Hicham. “Oh, so . . . Benny. What’s his role in all of this? Why are you upset with him?”
“Oh, he didn’t tell you?” Hicham asked in the calmest voice.
“Well, no, I think he’s a bit shaken up himself,” Detective Santos responded. “He doesn’t understand.”
“He’s messing with my mom. Well, actually . . . they’ve been having a secret affair for years . . . and I don’t know, but I think he knows something.”
The detective reached in his back pocket for a pad and started taking notes. “Really, knows something? Look, can we talk alone? Let me go see which room is available. I need to get the full story. Stay right there.” He rushed off to the nurse’s station to check on rooms.
I looked at Hicham with disgust. “What are you doing? Are you crazy?”
“Giving that niggah a taste of his own medicine. Trying to rat on me. I got something for his ass.”
“Don’t be a fool. You are making assumptions. You didn’t do anything, so why are you so defensive?” I could feel Hicham’s guilt overwhelming him, like a swirling bruise-colored cloud.
Hicham stepped away with Detective Santos. I hadn’t slept all night and my nerves were shot. By now it was ten thirty A.M. A text came in from Kylie, and I decided to call her. Her pleasant voice would be music to my ears.
“Hey, you . . . I saw your text last night. How is your mom?”
I spoke low and looked at my mother. “She’s still out of it. It’s . . . it’s not looking too good.”
“Oh, Jacques. I’m soooo sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, just please send prayers.”
“Oh, I will, Jacques. Is now a bad time? I did a little digging. Can you talk?”
“Yes, yes, tell me please.” I got up and walked down the hall and into the staircase for some privacy. The strong smell of coffee by the nurse’s station perked me up.
“Well, I don’t know how you’re going to take this, but did you know your brother has sort of a history of violence?”
My stomach jolted. “Huh? Well, I know he has a temper. He got into trouble a lot as a teenager.”
“Well, ‘a bit’ is an understatement. He’s been arrested six times in the last four years. With eleven charges in total.”
“What!” My voice echoed down the staircase. “I just knew about one time a couple of years ago. I had to wire money to one of his girlfriends to bail him out. But it was for some drunk and disorderly conduct.”
“Oh, that’s on there, too, but three of the times were assault, nightclub brawls, battery, and he even had a couple of cannabis possession charges, resisting arrest without force . . . but it seems he gets the charges dropped most of the time. I don’t know how he’s never done more than a weekend in jail. No one ever pressed charges. Seems the fights were over women each time.”
“Are you serious, over women?”
“Yes, the reoccurring names as witnesses on some reports are Rachelle Sanchez and Sofia Jenore, both models. I Googled them. Pretty girls.”
My heart sank in my chest. Two ex-girlfriends. I sat down on the stairs. It all made sense. Hicham would be madly in love, then all of a sudden his girlfriend would vanish and he’d be on to the next one. I’d thought he
just got bored quickly.
“Well, his criminal history doesn’t look good,” Kylie said matter-of-factly. “Do you think he did anything . . . well, was he ever violent with your mom?”
“No—well, not that I know of!” I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead. I saw a sudden flash of him grabbing Mom by the arms, shaking her, pushing her. I shook that dreaded vision out of my head to make it go away. I hoped he wouldn’t go that far.
“Benny Maganelo is clean as a whistle, besides a couple of parking tickets in the nineties. He didn’t have anything in his record that jumped out at me, but did you know he was added to your mom’s deed a year ago?”
“What! Are you sure? How did you get that?”
“I have ways!” She laughed. “Antonio and Vince have been showing me a lot. It’s actually public record online, you just need to know what to look for. You and Hicham are on it, he was just added.”
“Man, I can’t believe what a secret life she was living all this time. On the deed? This is so wild. Like I’m in a movie. I don’t know what to say.” I felt deeply betrayed. “So, what next? How is this info going help us? I need to speak to a lawyer probably. I really need to figure out how to keep Hicham out of jail. This doesn’t look good.”
“That’s true. For the record, his mug shot is accessible on Google, too. He looked pretty deranged and drunk in a few of them.”
I was so embarrassed. “I still can’t believe he didn’t tell me. He tells me everything! All right . . . Kylie . . . let me meditate on this for a minute. Thank you so much. I really, really appreciate you. Can you email me all of that stuff you found?”
“Yes, sure, sure. I’ll keep you posted.”
“And, Kylie . . . I’ll pay you for this.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll take a reading in exchange! I need the practice. You’re my first case.” I couldn’t believe this sinking ship was my reality. I slowly walked back to my mom’s room, hoping that Hicham and the detective were done. I had a few words for my brother.
When I entered the room I saw only a nurse checking my mother’s pulse. The shrill alarm from one of the machines near her bed rang loudly. The room suddenly got cold. The nurse shook her head. “I’m so sorry. She’s gone.”