A Pair of Aces

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A Pair of Aces Page 11

by Joe R. Lansdale


  BACK TO SCENE

  Clyde smiles.

  DISSOLVE TO

  EXT. OUTSIDE THE HOSPITAL–DAYS LATER

  Becky, in a wheelchair, going to the car, Monty, Eva and DEAN BEAUMONT on hand. Becky, looking solemn, gets in the car. The door SLAMS and we–

  CUT TO:

  INT. JAIL CELL

  SLAMMING SOUND that is the slamming of the Far Side door, and Clyde is falling from the chair, the twisted shirt noose around his neck, and everything goes slow and–

  DISSOLVES TO:

  EXT. STREETS OF GALVESTON–NIGHT–LATER

  MONTAGE

  Brian walks through the night, down dark streets. Leaves rattle, the wind blows them in a twisty circle about him.

  Brian stands on the sidewalk above the Gulf, watching the waves crash in.

  Brian walking through a neighborhood, pauses, frowns, surprised to find he has arrived at the apartment where Becky was raped.

  He walks into the parking lot, up near the dumpster. He puts one hand against it, unfastens his fly and pees, looking up at empty windows–Becky and Monty's windows. He stares at them for a while. When he finishes, he starts to fasten up, and his–

  FOOT

  beneath the edge of the dumpster bumps something and the THEME RISES UP SLOWLY, and Brian moves slightly to one side of the pool of piss and drops down on one knee, and–

  LOW AND FROM OTHER SIDE OF DUMPSTER

  we see his face looking under, and we see what's lying there.

  The razor.

  Brian's hand as it reaches under and, hesitates. He stands slowly, begins to back away.

  Pauses. And walks away, briskly. And then he stops. And very slowly he looks back over his shoulder.

  THEME PEAKS AND WE GO CLOSE ON BRIAN, and there is the sound of the steel door SLAMMING.

  INT. CLYDE'S HOUSE–NIGHT

  THE FRONT DOOR

  Sound of wood breaking, lumber falling. The door flies open and Brian is there, having kicked it in.

  CAMERA GIVES A VIEW OF THE HOUSE

  The hall is full of dust, debris. Part of the stairway has fallen in. Cobwebs hang like vampire decoration. Brian glances once at the door that leads to the cellar.

  Brian starts up the stairs, careful to stay on the undamaged side.

  CLYDE'S ROOM UPSTAIRS

  The door opens, and it creaks like chiller theater. Brian enters. AND THE THEME RISES.

  ANOTHER ANGLE

  The mattress on the floor. Spider webs. Cob webs. Dust. A rat makes a break for it, disappears into a hole in the wall. The curtains flap in the glassless window and the moonlight is sharp like the edge of a razor.

  Brian turns. Looks at the antique mirror, studies his reflection in the grimy moon lit glass.

  As he watches, the cobwebs he sees in the mirror gather up and move, and the shadows in the corners start to move, and the dust rises up in a wall of motes, and Brian slowly turns his head and looks at the room.

  It has not changed.

  Turns back to the mirror, gasps.

  The cobwebs are wadding up and gathering the dust motes and pulling them in, and shadows are rushing in to group together, and it's making a shape, and the shape is the shape of the top-hatted Lord of the Razor, tall and black and shadow-colored.

  As Brian watches, its dark, featureless face shows eyes for the first time, and they are nothing more than hot, wet winks of dread, and then a split of a mouth full of teeth like thirty-two silver-tipped stick pins. His top hat winks of chrome razor blades molded into a bright hat band.

  The Lord changes again, and we see now he is clothed. This is our first view of that, and he's wearing a coat and trousers of skinned flesh.

  Raw, bloody fingers stick out of his pants pockets like stashed after-dinner treats, and the Darkside Clock, an enormous pocket watch, dangles from a strand of gut attached to the god's vest pocket, a pocket that was once the fleshy slit that housed an eye.

  The shoes he wears are human heads, and this is the first time we realize what those balls on his feet are. His legs go narrow, goat-like in fact, and his feet fit right into the mouths, and the "shoes" are the worse for wear, dragging hanks of hair and strips of flesh.

  And the god's fingernails are not nails at all, but razor blades, and he keeps rubbing them together as he moves forward, making them click and pop up sparks.

  He grows in size as he comes forward, and finally, he stoops and sticks one leg through the mirror, and it pokes through like nothing is there, and his head-shoe thumps on the floor like a dropped medicine ball.

  Brian staggers back until he is against the wall, next to the window. The curtains lick around him and the moonlight makes him look strangely silver.

  The Lord of The Razor steps one foot out of the mirror, thumps the shoe-head on the floor. He steps with the other leg, and he's out…except his back won't come free. He's held by some unseen force, not completely part of our world.

  Brian is trembling, and suddenly the front of his pants go wet, and then there is dribble coming out of one pants leg and onto the top of his shoe.

  The Lord of the Razor stretches toward Brian, as far as he can go without breaking free of the mirror. It's like some unseen force is holding him back. His face almost touches Brian's, and the Lord sniffs.

  He looks down at the pool of urine under one of Brian's feet and sniff's deeper. He smiles. He likes this business.

  ANOTHER ANGLE

  The Lord reaches behind him, and out of thin air and shadows and a strand of moonlight, he pulls a chair made of rib bones with a seat of what might be ragged flesh, and it's all tied together with hanks of hair. He snaps it down on the floor between himself and Brian, eases his ass down onto it, his back still held tight to the mirror. Now his head is even in height with Brian's face. The Lord takes off his top hat and rests it carefully on one knee, bends his head forward.

  FAVOR THE LORD

  He has a zipper across the top of his head, and he reaches up and grabs it with a razor tipped thumb and forefinger, and pulls it open.

  CLOSER ON THE GAP IN THE LORD'S HEAD

  Dark in there. The Lord reaches into his head and pulls out a ventriloquist's dummy, and while he lets it dangle in one hand, with the other he picks up his top hat, and without zipping up, places it back on his head.

  CLOSE ON THE DUMMY

  The dummy is a ventriloquist's dummy of Clyde. A damn good likeness. But the cheeks are too rosy and the cheek bones are too high. It wears tennis shoes, jeans, a black tee-shirt, and a leather jacket with zipper. The Lord sits the dummy on his knee. He sticks his hand inside it. Moves slightly. Clyde's mouth opens and snaps together a few times.

  BACK TO SCENE

  Brian stares in wonder.

  The dummy opens its mouth, but now the wood face is more animated, and Clyde speaks.

  CLYDE DUMMY

  Been jacking around long enough, haven't you, man? Time to get cracking….

  ON BRIAN

  Brian half smiles, takes the razor from his pocket and holds it out, like a little kid proudly showing daddy a prize.

  BRIAN

  I got it, Clyde. I found it.

  BRIAN AND CLYDE

  CLYDE DUMMY

  I know you did, pal. See, you find it when it's time, like you're supposed to. And watch it. It'll turn on you. Did on me.

  Clyde dummy holds up one puppet hand. It has a deep scar in the wood, like a gash. Clyde nods to the Lord. Then turns back to Brian.

  CLYDE DUMMY

  …He, my man here, knows when we're ready, man. He and his razor have always been there, and always will be. He's always looking for people like you and me.

  Brian nods.

  CLYDE DUMMY

  Okay. Listen up. We got work to do.

  That bitch of a teacher didn't get what she should have gotten, and it's up to you to see that she does.

  BRIAN

  Yeah…okay.

  CLYDE DUMMY

  You know who my pal here is, don't you? Wel
l, maybe you don't. But you will, man. This is the Lord of the Razor. And watch your manners, all right? Me, you might say I"m the god's puppet, Might say I have been all along. And you're mine, pal. I am going to live inside your head…and you're going to pay the utilities and rent. Got me?

  BRIAN

  Think so…

  CLYDE DUMMY

  Sure you do. Now–I want you to get those shitheads together, Loony and Stone. Want you to go over and get that teacher broad and cut her heart out and hang her up by her toes. Got me?

  Brian can't quit looking at the Lord of The Razor.

  BRIAN

  Yeah, but–

  CLYDE DUMMY

  No buts except your own if you don't do what I say.

  BRIAN

  I don't understand.

  CLYDE DUMMY

  Don't need to. What you got to know is, there's all kinds of places different from this, Brian. My big buddy here, the one who gave me and you the razor, he's from one of them places. Thing is, he wants in over here. Guys like us, we can get him in all the way. And he can do fine things for us over there.

  Brian looks uncertain.

  BRIAN

  Clyde. You sure, man?

  CLYDE DUMMY

  Moves it's false eyes in its wooden head toward the Lord, and smiles broadly at the Lord.

  CLYDE DUMMY

  I wouldn't have the great opportunities I've got now. To be over here, I mean. Interesting people over here with me, Brian. Plenty of blood and beer and pussy. In that order.

  There is a rumble from the Lord, a peevish sound that makes the hair on the back of the neck stand up and the scalp prickle.

  CLYDE DUMMY

  Now listen good, and don't fuck up. You got to do it as I say. We got a serious problem, man. Things aren't exactly right.

  BRIAN

  Whatever you want, Clyde. Honest–

  CLYDE DUMMY

  Shut the hell up and listen. Some fucking superman you turned out to be. Things have got to change, pal, we–

  The Lord of the Razor begins to rumble, mumble, move about in anger. The Clyde dummy looks up, raises a placating hand to the god.

  CLYDE DUMMY

  Wait a minute, now, wait a minute, okay? Brian's all right, just a bit fucked over right now. The boy's not fully with it yet.

  BRIAN

  What?

  CLYDE DUMMY

  It's what you didn't do. Going off and leaving my young ass to be banged around by an old sailor, now that wasn't good. But, okay, I've told my friend here you're a good man. You were trying to do your job.

  FAVOR THE LORD

  A smile showing the Lord's thirty-two stick pin teeth.

  BACK TO SCENE

  CLYDE DUMMY

  Don't fucking let me down, you hear?

  The Lord rumbles.

  Clyde dummy looks up at the lord.

  CLYDE DUMMY

  Okay, Brian, my man says we're killing time, not people. He's right, you know? Thing is, for him to come over here, we got to finish what we started. The bitch has got to go. That's set, man. For things to come out way they're supposed to, what you start, you got to finish. All right. We'll be talking again. Plenty. You'll be coming over here when you finish. Be with me. Gotta run now, pal…

  The dummy goes limp and cracks appear all through it. The Lord carefully removes his hat and places it on his right knee, and lifts Clyde from his left knee, leans forward, and drops the dummy through the gap in his head. A puff of smoke and a swirl of cobwebs puff out of there, then slowly the Lord draws the zipper closed, replaces his hat.

  The Lord leans forward and pushes his face toward Brian. The Lord removes from his human skin waist coat pocket, an enormous watch. It dangles from a strand of gut.

  INSERT WATCH

  Two skeletal fingers serve as hands. There are no numbers, only a face. It is Brian's face, trapped inside, squirming and pressing its nose in little wet smudges against the smoky glass. His expression is considerably less cocky than when he was alive.

  BACK TO SCENE

  Brian leans slightly forward, trying to examine the watch.

  Clyde's face moves to one side of the watch, and we see in the background silver flashes, and we see these flashes are flying blades, and they are skinning alive some running victim in the background, and there are all manner of horrors going on: Licks of flame. Squirts of blood. Decapitated and mutilated bodies. It all swirls together in a kind of horrible stew.

  And now Brian notes another thing. He can see his own reflection in the glass, but the reflection lifts its hands to press at the inside of the glass, and the face looks very unhappy. And then it all fades, and there are just the skeletal fingers, and the watch is ticking, and the ticking picks up, becomes frantic.

  LORD OF THE RAZOR

  Tempus Fugit!

  It's a surprise. The Lord can speak.

  BACK TO SCENE

  The Lord lets out a deep rumble, a hellish YELL, and then the shadows and cobwebs and dust that he is made of explode and scatter with no more noise than a mouse farting in cotton.

  The shadows swirl and make a kind of miniature tornado, and with a soundless twisting movement, they dive into the mirror and spread back into place, to fit the reflection of the room, and Brian can see–

  HIS OWN DAMNED SELF

  in the mirror. Leaning against the wall, looking like a man who has just tried to give birth to a roll of barbed wire.

  A beat.

  And then that METAL DOOR SLAMMING SOUND and the moonlight fades and the darkness of the room is the blackness of the room and everything seems normal, and–

  Brian drops the razor from his hand, and we go–

  CLOSE ON RAZOR AND BRIAN'S PANTS LEG AND SHOE

  It pops open with a loud SNAP, and hits the floor and as the blade springs open suddenly there is moonlight on it, bright as a lightning flash, and the blade as it snaps free cuts his pants leg, cuts right through and–

  BRIAN

  groans and drops to one knee and grabs his pants leg, and when he pulls his hand back, it has blood on it. He pulls up the pants leg, and we go–

  CLOSE ON HIS ANKLE

  Cut. Bloody.

  He looks down at the razor. The blood on his hand, and we–

  DISSOLVE TO:

  EXT. BRIAN'S HOUSE–ANOTHER DAY

  Black Chevy is parked at the curb. There are two figures inside, indistinct for the moment.

  Loony and Stone are moving up the sidewalk toward the house, but they are only halfway up when the door opens, and out comes Brian. They pause. Brian stands apart, looking at them, taking them in until they become nervous.

  Then he comes down to join them, and just watching him move, we see this is a different Brian. More aggressive. More commanding. His eyes are Clyde's eyes now.

  BRIAN

  Listen up. Careful. 'Cause you got to get this right, and you got to get it now.

  (beat)

  Clyde's back. He came to me.

  Loony and Stone look blank.

  LOONY

  I bet he smelled bad.

  BRIAN

  What you don't know could fill the universe, Loony. It's not like he's standing around, asshole.

  (Brian taps his skull)

  He's in here.

  LOONY

  Oh.

  BRIAN

  He says we're going to kill the teacher that got him caught. We got to do that.

  Loony and Stone remain quiet.

  BRIAN

  I know you think I'm crazy, but this is the real thing. Clyde's inside me now. Living in my head. Banging around the furniture. It's what the Lord wants.

  LOONY

  Jesus?

  BRIAN

  Not that wimpy cocksucker. The Lord of the Razor….

  Brian stops, for he has spotted the shapes in the car.

 

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