Brianna snapped her fingers and shot him an amused, sidelong glance. “There goes my chance.”
Anxious to change the subject, Ryan asked, “How’s school goin’?”
“Good.” She grinned. “I’m happy to be finishing soon.”
“Still excited to get out into the real world?” Evan had offered Brianna a job at Titan Records when she graduated law school in the spring, a decision Ryan still had mixed feelings about. He adored Brianna and loved hanging out with her, but he didn’t know how he would feel about seeing her every day. Seeing her more often may make ignoring the feelings he successfully repressed for longer than he cared to admit impossible.
“Excited and scared,” she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
Ryan had the overwhelming urge to reach out and slide the soft tresses between his fingers. He knew that it felt like fine silk. He’d held her in his arms dozens of times over the years, when she cried over a broken relationship, sad movie, or bad test grade. She was his friend. He had to keep reminding himself of that before he did something stupid like…
He tipped his head back and closed his eyes as that night came flooding back to him. Brianna was dating one of his friends and they were all at a party together. Ryan led her outside to get some fresh air. He’d been drinking, and the filter that usually censored his thoughts and actions must have drowned in his booze because he pulled her flush against him for an intense kiss that blew both of their minds. He told her the truth, that he couldn’t stop thinking about her, that he wanted her, but she laughed it off and pushed him away.
She didn’t take him seriously because he’d never been serious about a woman in his life. But she wasn’t some random woman. She was the person who made him laugh when he felt down, nursed him back to health after dozens of hangovers, held his hand when they went bungee jumping…
Brianna snapped her fingers in front of his face. “Hello, are you still with me?”
“Sorry, baby.” He silently cursed the endearment when she gave him a strange look. They didn’t have that kind of relationship. They weren’t friends with benefits. They were just friends, plain and simple, except nothing he felt for her was simple. It was complicated and confusing and he felt caught between two worlds: the bachelor’s life he’d known and loved and the woman he believed he may be falling in love with. “I, uh, guess my mind was somewhere else there for a minute.”
“I’m worried about Alisa.” She propped her elbow on the door and scraped her hand through her hair. “What if something happens with the baby? What if she needs a doctor and—” She shook her head, curling both hands around the steering wheel. “No, you know what? I’m not even gonna let myself go there.”
Ryan grabbed her leg. It was supposed to be a show of support, but the current that charged up his arm reminded him that nothing was the same between them since that kiss. “She’ll be fine. She has Liam, and you know he’d never let anything happen to her or their baby.”
Brianna smiled. “He’s such a good guy. I’m so glad Alisa found someone like him.”
Ryan withdrew his hand and stared out the window as she rounded a corner. “You ever hope to meet a guy like him someday?” Just thinking about her with someone like that hurt, because he knew Liam was everything he could never be. Responsible, secure, the kind of guy a woman could count on in a crisis. He had never been that guy. Partying and having a good time were his forte, and Brianna knew that, which was why she’d never take a risk on him. Even he had to admit he was a terrible bet.
“Sure, every girl dreams about meeting a man like that someday. He’s perfect: gorgeous, smart, successful, and it’s obvious she’s the center of his world.”
Ryan turned his head to look at her. He could see her becoming the center of his world, but making that kind of commitment to anyone still scared the hell out of him. He wasn’t even thirty yet. He told himself he had years before he had to start thinking about settling down with a wife and kids, but he knew Brianna would have found the man she was looking for by then and their friendship would have to take a backseat to her new life.
“So, you think about gettin’ married and havin’ a couple of kids?”
“Sure. Don’t you?”
He hadn’t allowed himself to think about the possibility… until now.
“You know me. I’m too busy havin’ a good time to think past tomorrow.” He cursed when he realized he was just feeding into her perception of him. Maybe he didn’t want to be that guy anymore. Maybe it was time to change, to commit to the right woman and think about—
“I’m surprised you didn’t bring anyone to the party tonight,” Brianna said, turning down the street leading to the midwife’s house. “What happened to what’s her name, that girl you met at Jimmy’s a couple of weeks ago? Mandy… Mindy… Michelle.” She laughed. “There are so many, it’s hard to keep track.”
His hand curled into a fist. He’d enjoyed the company of beautiful women all of his life, and he had no regrets, but he wished he saw at least a flicker of annoyance when she mentioned the ladies in his life. “Her name was Miranda, and we only went out a couple of times.”
She laughed. “What happened, she didn’t do it for you? Not adventurous enough in the bedroom?”
He saw the wicked gleam in her eye and he realized she was having fun teasing him about his sex life. He realized how far apart they were. The thought of her having sex with another man made him see red, yet the prospect of him taking other women to bed amused her. “It never got that far. I just wasn’t into her.”
“Since when has that mattered to you? I always assumed if she had a pulse, she was fair game.”
“Come on, I’m not that bad.” He hated that he had earned her low opinion of him. She was right; he indulged in sex with women he didn’t care about too many times to pretend he wasn’t guilty of being out of control. His perspective had just started to change. Every time he closed his eyes and moved in to kiss someone, he saw Brianna’s face, felt her arms curling around his neck, drawing him closer. He got lost in her sweet body every night in his fantasies when his head hit the pillow. What the hell was wrong with him? He was becoming obsessed with his best friend. How had he let this happen?
“No, you’re much, much worse.” She smiled as she slapped his chest to let him know she was teasing, but he grabbed her hand and held it against his heart.
His heartbeat double-timed as the dark interior of the car closed in on them. He wanted to kiss her, if only to prove to himself that their connection wasn’t as powerful as he remembered, but when she gave him a quizzical look, he released her hand. He wanted to blame the alcohol coursing through his body for his inability to control his reaction to her, but he knew it was more than that. She got under his skin, and he didn’t know how the hell to break free of the hold she had on him.
Evan Spencer came up behind his girlfriend and drew her into his arms. He felt her body tense and his heart ached. They were drifting further apart and he didn’t know how to get back what they’d lost. She was the love of his life, his girlfriend for the past five years. He always assumed she would be the mother of his children someday, but he began to fear that day may never come if they didn’t figure out how to find their way back to each other.
“Alisa and Liam must be so scared and excited,” she said, looking out at the lit trees lining the walkway. “I know I would be, if I were in their position.”
He knew she was ready to settle down. She was in her last year of veterinary school, and with plans to join her father’s practice, she felt it was the perfect time to start planning for the future. Unfortunately, Evan was at a completely different place in his life. He’d just taken over his father’s company and his workload had doubled. They barely had time to make love anymore, much less plan a wedding.
“I’m sure everything will be fine, Erika.”
She turned in his arms and he saw something in her eyes that terrified him. “Do you really think so?”
H
e knew she wasn’t talking about Alisa and the baby anymore. She was asking him whether he thought they would be okay, whether their relationship would survive. “Of course I do.” He leaned in to kiss her, but she braced her hands on his biceps to push him away.
“I’m not so sure anymore. We used to be happy. There was a time when I had no doubt we’d end up together, but so much has changed since then.”
“Don’t say that.” He felt panic rising. He was used to being in control. Everyone who’d known his father, Luc, in the early days said Evan was a carbon copy of the old man, but he felt powerless when he thought of Erika leaving him. He loved her. He needed her. “We’re just going through a rough patch. We’ll get through it. We just need to give it some time, you’ll see.”
She shook her head, looking as miserable as he felt. “We’ve been saying that for the past year. When do we decide that it just isn’t working anymore? Maybe…” She touched his face. “Maybe we just have to accept that we weren’t meant to be together. We want different things out of life now.”
“No!” He gripped her hands in his and was surprised to realize that his felt ice cold by comparison. “You don’t mean that. We’re perfect for each other, you know it.”
“I used to think that, but you’ve changed, Evan.”
His mouth was dry as he searched for the words to stop the runaway train that was about to destroy his life. “I haven’t changed that much. I’m still the guy who loves you, who would do anything for you.”
A tear slid down her cheek. “You can’t give me what I need. Not anymore. I need to find someone who can.”
Evan couldn’t breathe. He’d given the last five years of his life to this woman. She helped him grow into a man he could be proud to look at in the mirror. She was his best friend, his lover. Hell, she was his soul mate, the only woman in the world who could make him happy, and now she was telling him she didn’t think he could make her happy anymore. “Don’t say that,” he said, trying to control his emotions. They were in the midst of a party, with his family and their friends only a few feet away in the next room. “This isn’t the right time to have this conversation.”
She shook her head and said, “It’s never the right time. Isn’t that part of the problem?”
He knew he hadn’t made as much time for her as he should, and he wrestled with the guilt every day when he heard the sadness in her voice, but he had a multi-million dollar company to run, and famous artists depended on him to guide their careers. It seemed everyone wanted a piece of him, and there was nothing left for her. Damn it, how had he let this happen?
“Look, I’m sorry, okay? I know things haven’t been easy lately, but maybe after the holidays we could sneak away for a few days… get a little R & R… re-connect.” He felt like a drowning man trying to grab on to the life preserver floating just out of his reach.
She looked at him a long time before she said, “Don’t you think it’s a little too late for that?”
He watched her walk away. It couldn’t be too late. He wouldn’t let it be too late.
Chapter Four
Liam walked into the room and felt the cold fist of fear render him speechless. Alisa looked like a prisoner to the pain gripping her body as she winced and cried out, squeezing her mother’s hand as Sierra wiped her forehead with a damp cloth.
She looked up at him and tried to smile through the pain. “There you are. I thought you and my dad were off somewhere, conspiring to load me into the car against my will.” She rubbed her distended stomach. “Even two big strong guys like you probably couldn’t carry me out of here in this condition.”
He pulled a chair up beside the bed and took her hand. “Maria’s on her way, sweetheart. She didn’t feel comfortable driving, so Ryan and Brianna went to pick her up.”
“I hope she gets here soon,” she said, glancing at her mother. “The contractions are only a few minutes apart.” As if on cue, another one started and she gripped his hand, squealing through the pain.
“Just try and breathe through it, honey,” he said, brushing the damp hair off her forehead. “Just like they taught us.” Liam took a few deep breaths, trying to control his own anxiety. He was on another continent when his daughter was born, and until Alisa came into his life, he’d never imagined he would experience the miracle of watching his baby come in to the world.
He was excited and terrified at the same time. Trey’s words continued to haunt him. He was right. So many things could go wrong. If anything happened to his wife or baby, he knew he couldn’t live with the pain. It would be like losing a part of himself, the best part.
“Are you okay?” she asked when the contraction finally passed. “You look a little pale. Have you eaten anything tonight?”
Liam fell in love with her a little more every day and this day was no exception. She struggled to bring their baby into the world without benefit of painkillers and she was worried about him. There was no doubt about it. Their kid was going to be beyond lucky to have Alisa as a mother. “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.”
Sierra got up and passed the cool compress to Liam. “I’m going to get you some water. Is there anything else I can get you, Alisa?”
“Maybe a rolling pin with a tea towel wrapped around it?” She tried to sit up as Liam fluffed the pillows behind her. “I read that can help with the back pain.”
“You got it.” Sierra smiled at Liam, as if to reassure him. “I’ll be right back.”
“Do you want to get up and walk around, sweetheart?” Liam asked.
“Maybe in a bit. Tell me the truth,” Alisa said, gripping his hand. “Are you really okay? I know the doctor said you should avoid stress. Worrying about me having the baby here probably wasn’t the smartest decision in light of your condition.” A tear slid down her cheek. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think about that when—”
He kissed her lips to silence her recriminations. Since he met her, Alisa had put him first. She already did more for him than he could ever do for her, even with all of his money and power. She gave his life meaning beyond negotiating the next deal and he would never be able to re-pay her for that.
“You made the right choice, sweetheart. I can’t think of a better place to bring our baby into the world than right here.” He looked around her childhood bedroom and smiled at the framed photos of her as a child and teen. He knew their son or daughter would one day have a room just like this in their home, filled with the memories of a happy childhood. “Surrounded by the people who’ll love and support him most throughout his life.”
Alisa tried to breathe through another contraction as her nails bit into his hand. When the pain finally subsided, she asked, “You said him. You think it’s going to be a boy?”
“It doesn’t matter, boy or girl. As long as you’re both strong and healthy at the end of the day, that’s the only thing that matters to me.”
She smiled as perspiration slid down her cheek. “How’d I get so lucky?”
“I ask myself the same question every day.” He wiped her face with the cloth Sierra gave him. “I never expected to have this life. If you want to know the truth, I think it’s more than I deserve.”
“You’re wrong.” She kissed his hand. “You’re the best man I’ve ever known. You deserve everything you’ve been blessed with and so much more.” She smiled at the pom-poms tacked to the wall. “Do you ever think about the kind of person our baby will be when they grow up? Whether he’ll be more like you or me or his own person?”
He grinned. “You said he, too.”
She rolled her eyes. “Are you using the power of suggestion to try and influence the outcome?”
He didn’t respond right away, and she asked, “Is part of you hoping for a son?”
Liam didn’t want to admit it, but he’d give anything to be the kind of parent to his own son that his father never was to him. He missed all of his little league and football games. Hell, he’d been on a private island with his mistress the day Liam graduated
from an Ivy League school.
“I told you—”
“I know what you told me. Now I want the truth.”
“Having a daughter has been amazing. It’s given me some serious insight into what it takes to keep a lady happy…” He returned her smile. “I wouldn’t trade one single second with my little girl for anything, but…”
“But?”
“I’d give anything for a chance to do with my son the things my father never cared enough to do with me.”
“Do you wish we’d found out the sex of the baby when we had the chance?”
“No, I’m glad we waited.” He kissed her lips. “But I gotta admit, I can’t wait to find out.”
Alisa held Liam tight as she caught a glimpse of her father hovering outside the bedroom door, obviously reluctant to intrude on their private moment. “Come in,” she said, raising her hand. “I wondered where you were hiding.”
“Liam, you mind if I have a minute alone with my daughter?”
“Of course not.” Liam stood up and bent to kiss Alisa’s cheek. “I’m gonna call Ryan to make sure they found Maria’s house.”
“Thanks,” Trey said, patting him on the back as he walked out the door.
“I’m glad to see you’re not holding him responsible for the choices I made,” Alisa said, eyeing her father cautiously. She didn’t want to upset him. Everyone who knew him knew he’d never gotten over losing his first daughter, Callie, and probably never would.
He claimed the seat Liam had vacated and reached for her hand. “You know how brave I think you are for doin’ this, right, baby girl?” He smiled, shaking his head. “Crazy maybe, but brave nonetheless.”
“Daddy…” She tried to breathe through the contraction, knowing the man who’d made it his mission in life to protect her would feel helpless in the face of her pain. When it passed, she opened her eyes to see him looking at her, wide-eyed and pale. “It’s okay,” she said, stroking his arm. “I’m gonna be fine. We’re gonna be fine.”
Holiday Homecoming (Nashville Nights Next Generation) Page 3