by Leslie North
“It’s going to be a while,” Clint said, taking a huge sip of soda and heading down the hall. “I need to take a shower and have some food before I get some more work done. We’re still knee-deep in your investigation, Tara. Plus the guys also have other jobs they’ve taken on and with me away from the office for that stretch after the rally, things have fallen behind.”
There was nothing wrong with what he was saying, in itself, but he hadn’t even bothered to look at his daughter to see how she was taking it. Tara looked, and saw when Ashley’s little face crumpled. Tara’s anger grew. Dammit. She knew his job was important to him, but so was his daughter. She stood and walked to the bedroom, where Clint was in the process of stripping down. He pulled off his shirt, leaving him bare-chested in just his suit trousers. She did her best to ignore his muscled torso and concentrated on her mission here instead. After closing the door behind her, she stepped closer to him and crossed her arms. “Listen, I know you’ve got a lot going on right now, but Ashley’s been so excited to show you her riding and I really think if you just take a minute and pay some attention to her it would go a long way toward building a better relationship between you two and—”
“Don’t tell me how to raise my daughter,” he snapped, tossing his shirt in the hamper across the room. Then he stopped and sighed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap like that. I’ve just got to get caught up on some of this office stuff for the guys—things that piled up while I was on mandatory leave. We can’t afford to lose clients because of it if we want to keep our bottom line in the black. I need to put that first now.”
“Ahead of Ashley?” Tara dug her fingers into her arms, her temper rising despite her wishes. Memories of conversations with her own mother flooded back to her mind. How her mom had put everything and everyone else ahead of her own child. How she’d provided for her daughter’s physical needs and completely failed to nurture her emotionally. Well, Ashley deserved better. Tara deserved better too. “Isn’t that what all of this is for? Her? All the business in the world won’t mean much if you don’t have anyone to share it with.”
“She’ll understand when she’s older,” he said, pulling off his socks and removing his belt. “Seriously. Can we do this later? I really don’t have time for it now.”
Annoyance flaring, Tara stepped closer to him and jabbed a finger at his chest. “Ass!”
“Excuse me?” A small muscle ticked in Clint’s cheek, his eyes flaring hot.
“You’re. Being. An. Ass.” She accentuated each word with a poke of her finger, for emphasis. “All your daughter wants is five minutes of your time to show you something she’s proud of and you can’t even give her that, can you? Some father you are.”
“Don’t you judge me,” he growled, inching closer. For once, the tension flaring between them wasn’t sensual at all. Honestly, the fight had been brewing for a while now for her, and damned if she was backing down now. Clint narrowed his eyes. “Besides, what do you know? A couple days babysitting hardly makes you an expert.”
“I don’t claim to be an expert, but my eyes work just fine, and I know what I’m seeing. When’s the last time you spent any meaningful time with her?” Tara tapped her stockinged toes against the hardwood to release some of her pent-up irritation before it exploded into a swift kick in his butt. “And I may not have a child, but I’ve been one and I know how it feels to be ignored.”
“Don’t go putting your past problems on us.”
“Don’t go calling me your babysitter. I’m your client. I’ve got important work to do around here too, you know.”
He snorted and pushed past her, heading for the bathroom. “Yeah, like taking pictures of flowers.”
“What’s wrong with flower photos?” She followed him into the bathroom, not caring if she was getting into his personal space. “And since when is being a bodyguard for hire so damned important, huh?”
“I’m not a bodyguard. I’m private security.” Clint jammed on the shower with more force than necessary. “And I don’t need you critiquing my every move. I’m doing the best I can here, okay?”
“Well, your best sucks. In fact, what are we even doing here? As far as I can tell, you’re no closer to finding out who was behind the attack at the rally than you were at the beginning. Meanwhile, Ashley and I are trapped here while you’re out there spinning your wheels. It’s not fair. To her or to me.”
Clint rounded on her, his expression dark. “You want us to go? Fine. We’ll go. The work’s done at my place anyway. Probably better for us to have our space anyway, considering how you really feel about it.”
“How I feel?” Tara gritted her teeth, fighting for patience and failing. “Don’t you dare turn this on me. None of this is my fault. And if you think running away is the answer then—”
“I’m not running away!” His shout reverberated off the bathroom walls, stopping her short. Before either of them could say another word, a loud crash sounded from down the hall and Clint stormed past her to throw open the bedroom door. “I can’t believe you just left her alone out here, Tara. She’s six. Ashley, honey? What’s going on?”
“She’s your responsibility, Clint, remember?” Tara said, following him. “And she was perfectly calm earlier, before you walked in, grouchy as hell, and—”
She stopped short at the end of the hall, blinking at the wide-open front door. “Uh, what’s happening?”
Clint cursed under his breath, his voice shifting from fury to panic in one second flat. “She’s gone, that’s what.” He charged for the front door. “Ashley? Honey? Where are you?”
Tara followed, calling the little girl’s name as she walked around the side of the house.
“Shit!” Clint came tearing around the corner from the backyard, pulling out his phone. “She’s gone.”
“Maybe she just went down the block to the park,” Tara said, that dread inside her bubbling up like lava in a volcano, threatening to erupt into a full-blown cataclysm. Even as she said those words, she couldn’t help feeling the weight of Clint’s accusations. Was this her fault? Had she dropped the ball where his daughter was concerned? Was she just not good enough, as she’d always feared?
“I’m going to go check,” Clint said jogging off toward the park, still in just his pants, his feet bare. “You stay here, in case she comes back.”
Too stunned to argue, Tara stood in the driveway, berating herself for everything. For losing her focus and sleeping with Clint. For not being there for Ashley when she’d needed her tonight. For pretty much everything that had happened over the last few weeks. But mainly for doing the one thing she’d sworn not to do. Falling for the one guy she had no business giving her heart to.
A few minutes passed and she stared up into the sky above, praying that Ashley would be okay and that they could somehow recover from this wreck of an evening, from this disaster of a situation. But the longer she stood there alone, the breeze turning chilly as dark clouds moved in, the more she began to see that things as they were couldn’t ever be right again.
It wasn’t working—this whole mess between them. She needed someone who would prioritize not only her life but her heart. She deserved that. Ashley deserved a caretaker who could give her one hundred percent of their time and energy. That didn’t seem to be Clint, and right now, that wasn’t Tara, either. And Clint should never have expected her to.
When she spotted Clint and Ashley down the block, returning to the house from the park, her relief was tempered with resolve. He’d mentioned moving back to his place and that seemed like the best option now, given what had happened tonight, the things they’d said.
Clint walked Ashley back inside, then returned to where Tara still stood in the driveway, raking his hand through his disheveled hair, the look in his eyes a million miles away. “Look, about what I said earlier…”
“No. It’s fine. You were right.” The words cut like razors coming out, but they had to be said. “I think you and Ashley should go. Move back to your place.
This isn’t working out for anybody.” She swallowed hard and moved around him toward the front door. “I’ll hire someone else as my bodyguard.”
For a minute, all Clint did was stare at her, a myriad of emotions flickering across his face—hurt, anger, reluctance, yearning—before his old stoic wall came crashing down again, shutting her out, same as he always did. “Fine. If that’s what you want.”
It wasn’t what she wanted, but it was what was the best, for all of them. Tara turned, saying to him over her shoulder. “It is.”
19
Two weeks later, Tara was doing better than she expected. Not that ending things with Clint had been easy, but she knew deep down it had been right. Being on her own, she’d had more time to concentrate on her job—and to continue lobbying for the bill in her spare time, on her personal accounts. The vote was today and she felt cautiously optimistic that it would pass.
If they voted no, she had a contingency plan in place and knew what her next steps would be. If they voted yes, well… that would be excellent. It would mean she’d succeeded and it would take the pressure off in a lot of ways, including her need for a bodyguard. After all, once the legislation went through there’d be no more reason to attack her, right?
Her stomach swarmed with butterflies.
Calm down, girl.
She took a deep breath and pulled up her social media feeds again.
“Need anything, Ms. Crumb?” Lenny, the bodyguard she’d hired to replace Clint, asked from her office doorway. “I’m headed to the coffee machine down the hall.” When enough time had gone by with no additional attacks, the board had relented on letting her come back to the office, as long as she brought her bodyguard with her.
“No, thanks. I’m good,” she said, smiling at him. He was an ex-Marine, mid-fifties, but in good shape. Married with three kids and four grandkids. Nice guy and good at his job. Too bad she hadn’t gone that route in the first place. “Take all the time you need.”
“I’ll be back in five,” Lenny said.
No. If she’d gone with Lenny to begin with then she never would have gotten to spend that time with Clint and Ashley. Even though she knew it was for the best that they were gone, she wouldn’t have given up having them in her life for anything. She was stronger for having known them both, even if it still hurt, thinking about the day they’d moved out of her place.
Clint hadn’t wasted any time, leaving the same night as their blowout fight. He’d left her with Lenny’s name, saying he’d worked with the guy before and gave him a sterling recommendation. He’d even filled Lenny in on the investigation into who might have been behind the rally attack. SSoF was still working on that case, but so far no one had been caught.
She sat back and refreshed her screen again to see if the vote had happened yet, but so far nothing. Tara sighed and went back to checking her social media stats. Those posts she’d done with Ashley were still drawing in more likes than anything else. She wondered how the little girl was doing these days. Maybe she’d call later, after the vote was in. Just because she and Clint weren’t speaking didn’t mean she and Ashley couldn’t still be friends, right?
In truth, she missed the little girl.
“Hey,” Judy said, giving a brief knock on the door before walking in again and plopping down in one of the chairs in front of the desk. “Did you decide what you’re going to do?”
“Not yet.” The board had offered Tara a permanent position as chief marketing director after the new E.D. was hired. It was technically a step down from her current post, but still a step up from the job she’d had before when she’d just been in charge of social media, with her boss dictating the messaging. Going forward, she would be the boss. She’d be handling all their marketing and promotion and any new campaigns as they came up, and really, it was kind of perfect for her. Even more so than the E.D. position she was in now. All of the fun, less of the stress. And if this legislation passed, she would have accomplished pretty much everything she’d wanted to in this job anyway. Why not move on to something that suited her better? “It sounds like a good fit, though.”
“It does.” Judy studied her nails. “For you, anyway. I’d rather leave all that Tweeting stuff to someone else.”
A loud whoop went up from outside the office, and the women exchanged a look before they both ran out to see a cluster of people around one of the computers across the room.
“What’s happening?” Tara called.
One of the interns shouted, “It passed! The bill passed!”
“Holy crap!” Tara turned and she and Judy embraced before either of them could think better of it, jumping up and down and squealing with glee. All that time. All that sacrifice. All that work, and it was finally paying off. “We did it!”
“No. You did it!” Judy said, giving Tara a squeeze before letting her go. “Good job.”
“Thanks.” They’d never been the closest of friends, but it was weird how people could surprise you. Just look at her and Clint. Tara tucked her hair behind her ear. “I was worried this day would never come.”
“What’s going on?” Lenny asked, rushing back to her with a cup of coffee in his hand, his expression concerned. “Are you okay, Ms. Crumb?”
“I’m fine. Great, actually.” She told him about the bill passing and then picked up a bottled water to toast his coffee cup with. “The legislation passed. Looks like we’re done.”
“With this part anyway.” Lenny grinned. “Glad it worked out for you.”
“Me too.” She wandered back into her office and sank down in her chair again, still trying to wrap her head around it. She’d been working on promoting the climate change bill for months. It had been such a big part of her life that now she wasn’t sure exactly what to do with herself. Whatever it was, she’d be okay, though. She really felt that now.
She pulled out her phone and started to dial Clint’s number, then caught herself. Her first instinct had been to call him and share her happy news, but that wasn’t really appropriate now, was it? They weren’t enemies, but they weren’t friends either. Things were way more complicated than that.
Her chest pinched and she rubbed the spot over her heart absently.
If she was honest with herself, she missed him. Missed his smile and his smart responses. Missed just having him around. She took a deep breath and set her phone on the desk. She was lonely, that was all. Being with Clint had shown her that she did want a relationship someday. And yeah. She’d loved him, despite not knowing him that long. She could admit that freely now.
Funny, but she’d always expected love to be a distraction, a thing that took her focus away from what was important, but the opposite had been true. Love had shown her what her true priorities should be, shown her true joy and brought her true creativity to the forefront. She scrolled through the posts she’d done with Ashley again, the rainbow-bright colors shining off her laptop screen.
Images of the little girl’s face the day they’d moved out rushed back to Tara’s mind, making her heart ache even more. The tears. The hugs. The promises that they’d stay in touch even if she and Clint weren’t involved anymore.
Tears stung Tara’s eyes and she reached for the phone again without thinking. Dammit. Just because she and Clint weren’t involved anymore didn’t mean she and Ashley couldn’t still do things together. If anything, Ashley needed a kickass female role model in her life more than ever now, right?
Besides, Tara had some new ideas about social media campaigns she’d need the little girl’s help with. She sent off a quick text to Clint’s phone inviting Ashley to come over to her house to help plant a new butterfly garden she’d planned before this whole mess started. It would be good for the earth and good for her too. Fresh air and a fresh start to her friendship with Ashley. After she hit send, Tara stood and smoothed a hand down the front of her paisley print dress. Time to accept that new job. Mr. Harrison was in the office today, wanting to be on hand in case the press reached out for a comment about the
legislation, so she would be able to give him her decision in person. She headed for the door, feeling surer of herself than she had in months. She gave Judy a nod as she passed her desk, not exactly a bestie, but they understood each other now. Maybe.
Judy could keep fighting for that E.D. job. Tara knew where she belonged now and felt comfortable in her own skin at last.
Things were good and about to get even better.
New job, new outlook, new future.
20
Clint sat at his desk in the SSoF offices staring at his phone screen for a long time. The text invitation from Tara was a surprise and for a second he thought he might have conjured it from his own imagination—a manifestation of how hard it was for him to forget about her.
Dammit.
He sighed and sat forward, trying to look busy so the guys wouldn’t start asking him questions. The last thing he wanted to do was let them know he was still hung up on a woman he never should have fallen for to begin with.
After shuffling around some papers for a few minutes, he took another peek at the phone and yep. Text still there. God. What the hell was he supposed to do with that? When he and Ashley had packed up and moved back home a few weeks back, it had hurt like hell, but he’d figured that was the end of it. There was no reason for Tara to contact him again. She would move on with her life and he’d move on with his. End of story.
Yet here she was, asking to set up a time for his daughter to come over and hang out at her place. Not him, mind you. Nope. Tara apparently wanted nothing to do with him. But Ashley? Bring it on.
He should be happy, he supposed. He knew that Ashley missed Tara. But still. Why would Tara want to do that? Sure, she’d been nice to the kid when they were staying there, but it wasn’t like Ashley was hers or anything.