by Jeanne Allan
Elizabeth didn’t give herself enough credit.
Worth fastened the halter on the mare and thought about Elizabeth the first time he’d seen her at the Denver airport. The weariness. The shadowed eyes. The rail-thin body. The straight, brittle spine. The way she carried the weight of her world on her shoulders.
The way she smiled for her son. Was strong for Jamie.
Elizabeth’s inner core of strength was obvious to everyone but her. Worth could tell her it was there, but she’d never believe him. He had to show her.
He prayed he was right.
“I’ll walk Susie over here where she can watch the foal,” Worth said, still refusing to turn around. If he saw terror on her face, he’d send her back to the truck. Further reinforcing her fear. “Stand here, and hold on to Susie here.” He placed Elizabeth’s hand. “Don’t move between her and the foal and don’t watch what I’m doing. Watch her. Let me know if she starts showing increased signs of distress.” He tried to speak in a calm, matter-of-fact voice.
He could almost feel the rapid, panicky beat of her heart. A word of kindness and Elizabeth would collapse. Ignoring the upheaval in his stomach, Worth reminded himself Susie was about as well-behaved as a horse could be. “And watch your feet so Susie doesn’t accidentally step on them.” He gave Elizabeth a quick squeeze on her shoulder and left, to take care of the colt as quickly as possible.
The mare was huge. After one dubious look at Elizabeth, the mother horse concentrated all her attention on Worth and her foal. Her ears pointed straight ahead. It seemed to Elizabeth concern filled the large brown eyes. On impulse, she said gently, “Your baby will be okay. Worth will take care of him.” The mare turned her gaze back to Elizabeth.
She forced herself not to back up, and continued in a soft voice. “I have a baby boy, too. His name is Jamie. It’s incredible the trouble little boys can get into, isn’t it? Jamie keeps trying to walk before he can figure out the balance thing and he falls down on his bottom all the time. But little boys are tough. They always bounce back. Your baby will be just fine.” As she babbled on, the mare became less a frightening monster and more another worried mother.
“Here we go, Susie. One little guy who’s starving.” Worth guided the foal to his mother’s side. “You can let go now,” he said as the foal butted the mare, then eagerly suckled.
“No, I can’t. My fingers won’t move.”
Worth gently pried open her hand and unsnapped the rope from the mare’s halter. “I won’t say a word if you want to scramble over the fence.”
She leaned against him, her legs as shaky as the exhausted foal’s. “Why?”
“Now the crisis is over, the rest of the gang is coming over to say hello.”
Elizabeth’s eyes widened at the sight of a dozen or so mares ambling toward them. Foals, kicking up their heels, scampered ahead of their moms. Elizabeth scaled the fence in record time.
Worth moved to meet the horses, greeting the mares first, rubbing and patting them, before he touched the foals.
Elizabeth dropped to the pickup’s running board on the driver’s side, her legs feeling like overcooked noodles. Stretching them in front of her, she sat like a lump and watched Worth as he made his way around the crowd of babies, scratching necks, rubbing his hand over their heads and faces, picking up their feet. The mares looked on indulgently. If one nickered, Worth pushed her baby toward her. After a last round of attention to the mares, Worth headed back toward the pickup.
The injured foal sported a front leg wrapped in bright pink. “Will he be okay?” Elizabeth asked.
“He was lucky. Only a tiny scrape,” Worth said from behind the truck. “I put some antiseptic on it, and we’ll keep an eye on him. Thanks for helping.”
She waited for him to praise her courage.
He came around the truck. “Here.” He poured water on her hands from the thermos, then handed her a clean hanky. “Hold out your hand. Waterless antibiotic soap.”
She dutifully accepted the liquid gel and rubbed. The sharp smell assaulted her nose as the soap evaporated, chilling her skin. In the face of Worth’s silence, Elizabeth’s euphoria over facing her fear, if only for a short duration, evaporated.
Anger replaced it. The least he could do was acknowledge her tiny bit of courage. “Don’t bother to pat me on the back or anything,” she snapped. “Never mind I was shaking like a leaf out there. Never mind I absolutely did not want to go anywhere near your stupid horses. Never mind that your dumb horse might have bitten off my arm, or—”
“Susie doesn’t bite,” Worth interjected mildly.
“—or trampled my feet or kicked my head off. Never mind any of that. The great Worth Lassiter expects instant compliance with his wishes.”
“I wouldn’t exactly call it instant,” he drawled in a teasing voice.
Elizabeth was in no mood to be teased. She jumped to her feet to walk away. After one step, her toe caught in a deep rut in the road.
Worth caught her around her waist before she fell. “Could you give me a clue here what you’re so mad about?” His arm stayed around her waist as he turned her to face him.
Holding her body rigidly erect, Elizabeth clutched his arms, for balance. And to keep distance between them. “You know very well I’m afraid of horses.”
“You bragging?”
How did a man get to be so arrogant and insensitive? “I’m not bragging. I’m just saying. I’m afraid of horses, but I helped you.”
“And I thanked you.”
“You’re so dumb you have no idea what I’m talking about.”
“Sure I do.” He tipped up her chin. “You think you did something totally out of character and I should be surprised.”
If she stared much harder at his top shirt button she’d go cross-eyed. “I did do something out of character. I’m afraid of horses.”
“What is that, your mantra or something?” He wrapped his hands around her face. “I wasn’t the least bit surprised by what you did. I knew you’d help.”
“I suppose you thought I’d help because you told me to,” she said angrily. Anger would drive away the feel of work-toughened hands. Keep her from rubbing her cheek against his warm palm. “I have news for you. I didn’t do it for you. I wouldn’t cross the street for you.”
“You did it because it had to be done. And because you’re a mother and you couldn’t sit by and watch a baby suffer.”
His words took some of the heat from her anger. “You took my compliance for granted,” she said lamely.
“No, I took your strength and courage for granted.” He trailed his thumb across her cheekbone.
Surprised, her gaze shot up to his face. To see eyes warm with approval. “Oh.” Pinching his shirt sleeve between her thumb and forefinger, she rubbed the faded blue chambray fabric. And wondered if every shade of blue she saw the rest of her life would remind her of his eyes.
“When I first saw you in Denver at the airport, I thought you looked as if life had knocked all the stuffing out of you, leaving nothing but skin and bones. It didn’t take me long to learn how stubborn you were, but I assumed the first breath of wind that came along would knock you over. I was wrong. You might look puny—”
His unflattering assessment stung. “I am not puny.”
He ignored her protest. “Inside where it counts, you’re tough as boot leather. Mom raised four kids pretty much on her own, and I know the love and strength that took. I’ve watched you with Jimbo. You have that same reservoir of strength and courage. You’ll be just fine.”
Perversely, his vote of confidence pleased her no more than his initial negative assumption. “Don’t patronize me. I don’t need you to pat me on the back and tell me I’ll be fine. If I decide I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine.”
He smiled. “I don’t want to fight with you.”
Elizabeth wondered how long his killer smile would haunt her dreams. “You don’t want to fight because you’re afraid you’ll lose.”
His smil
e slipped. “Yeah, I’d lose.” The wry expression on his face faded away as he eyed her with a lazy sensuality.
Her fingers tightened on his arms. Why hadn’t she let go? Walked away.
Her hat was in the truck and the sun warmed the back of her head. With her every breath came his scent, a mixture of soap, horse and male. A soft breeze danced through the roadside weeds and overhead leaves, lifting a few strands of her hair. Mothers and foals called softly to each other in the pasture. A hummingbird whistled past.
Worth’s intense gaze fixed on her face. As if he was memorizing her features. Or waiting. Was she supposed to kiss him first? Send him a written invitation? Throw him to the ground and straddle his body? She dug her fingers into his hard muscles and parted her lips to demand he kiss her.
The only sound she uttered was a small moan of mingled anticipation and satisfaction as he came down on her mouth, hot and heavy and demanding. His large metal belt buckle pressed against her middle, and she felt the muscled strength of his arms and the hardness of his thighs.
Elizabeth leaned into the kiss, exulting in the feelings which swept through her. She felt alive. Greedily, she wanted it all. The taste of his mouth, his tongue. She went on her tiptoes, pressing her hands to the back of his neck. A rainbow of sensations flooded her. He felt good, smelled good, tasted good.
Worth lifted his head. “A truck’s coming,” he said, his voice thick.
Hearing the hum of tires, she stepped back, inordinately pleased with the realization he’d been reluctant to break off the kiss. Had the sky been that blue earlier? So many birds singing?
Sweet clover from the other side of the road perfumed the air, its blossoms gloriously yellow. The pickup slowed in passing, the driver lifting his hand in a brief salute. The dust settled on Worth’s shirt. Elizabeth refrained from brushing it off and gave him a slightly embarrassed glance. She’d never before kissed a man in the middle of a public road.
He gazed steadily back. “I won’t deny you intrigue me, Red.” A slight frown creased his brow. “Under other circumstances I’d be tempted to pursue some kind of relationship with you, but now’s not the right time. I’m sorry.”
For a moment Elizabeth could only stare at him, stunned at his interpretation of their kiss. Leave it to a man to ruin everything. “Right time for what? Kissing out in the middle of nowhere?”
A crooked smile of regret passed fleetingly over his mouth. “You know what I mean. I’m not ready to settle down, to make a long-term commitment, and you’re not a woman who’d accept anything less.”
Now he’d really gone too far. “You’re warning me away from you? Are you so conceited you actually think I’ve fallen in love with you?”
“Don’t get excited.” Worth stuck his hands in the air and backed away. “I’m just making sure we’re both clear on where we stand.”
His words failed to mollify her. “What makes you think you’re so wonderful that when a woman kisses you,” Elizabeth jabbed him in the chest with her finger, “you automatically assume she’s after your body or a wedding ring? Let me tell you something, Worth Lassiter—”
She jabbed him again. “I’ve been married once. I’m not looking to repeat the experience. Maybe I’m the one who ought to be worried. That kiss was all your idea, and don’t you dare say different. You wanted to kiss me as much as…Never mind, the point is, you wanted to kiss me.”
He grabbed her finger and held it still. “As much as what? As much as you wanted to hold Susie? As much as Jimbo wants his breakfast in the morning? Or as much as you wanted to kiss me?”
Heat flooded her face. “All right,” she said, daring him to make something of it, “as much as I wanted to kiss you. All of a sudden I felt really good. I haven’t felt really good in a long time, and I needed an outlet to express how good I felt. Kissing seemed a good idea. I don’t make a practice of kissing blockheads, but it was you or a horse, and even you rate over horses.” Showing him her back, she stomped around the pickup and climbed into the passenger seat. At the last second, she remembered the horses and refrained from slamming the door.
Dust trailed behind the pickup as they traveled down the gravel road. Inside the truck’s cab, a rigid, uncomfortable silence prevailed.
Folding her hands in her lap, Elizabeth studied the tracery of blue veins beneath her pale skin. And in her mind saw Worth’s tanned hands reaching for her naked body.
Her instincts told her he’d be a wonderful, satisfying lover.
But not her lover.
Besides, she had lousy instincts.
“Before Susie’s foal distracted us, we were discussing the mutual benefits of our arrangement.”
“I am not pretending to be your girlfriend because you’re afraid of your sisters. And after I helped you today you can’t claim I’m afraid of horses. No one would believe you.”
“That’s your final say?”
“Positively final, and I don’t want to discuss it again.”
After a few minutes Worth started whistling a popular country tune. Elizabeth basked in her triumph for about six seconds. Then she remembered what his sisters said. Worth always got his way.
“I feel so badly about how this trip has gone for you,” Mary said, driving them back to the ranch after a ladies-only luncheon.
Elizabeth gave the older woman an apprehensive look. What had Worth said to his mother? “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“This mess with those people in Texas. Just because the ranch has been in their family for years, those idiot grandsons decided they could operate the spread themselves. I swear they thought ranching was nine-to-five with weekends off. You came to spend some time with your father, and he’s being forced to spend all his time on the phone holding their hands.”
“That’s okay. I understand,” Elizabeth said. She could hardly tell Mary every visit with Russ went pretty much the same way, Russ paying more attention to work than to his daughter. “I’m happy to have the opportunity to get acquainted with you and your family.” She hesitated. “I know Russ’ll be in good hands with you.”
Mary raised a quizzical brow, demonstrating exactly where her son had learned the habit. “Is that a subtle way of saying I’m a managing woman?”
“I think Russ needs a little managing,” Elizabeth said impulsively. “Mom expected him to know what she wanted, what she thought. You tell him straight out. I expect he finds that helpful.”
“I expect he does,” Mary agreed with mock solemnity.
Elizabeth couldn’t help but laugh. She’d seen from the beginning how good Mary was for Russ. No matter what Worth thought, Elizabeth was happy for them both.
“I’m afraid,” Mary said, turning serious again, “we’re rather a straight-talking family, which can take a little getting used to. I hope we haven’t put you off us.”
“You’ve all been very kind. Having Jamie and me here now must be a nuisance.”
“I’d hoped we’d have more time together. I’ve married off three daughters; you’d think I’d have the drill down by now. I thought we’d have a simple little wedding, just family, but my family goes way back in the area, and we know a lot of people around the state, and things ballooned.” She sighed. “You’ve been so good about me sending you off with Worth, which is the best I’ve been able to do to entertain you. So many details. Thank goodness for Jamie. He keeps me sane.”
“I hope Worth can say the same by the time the wedding’s over,” Elizabeth said guiltily. “He’s been stuck with Jamie a lot this week.” She could have left Jamie with Cheyenne’s nanny, but Worth had insisted Jamie stay with him.
“Worth adores children. Even when he was a child himself. Not many ten-year-old boys willingly watch over their younger sisters. Worth would read to the girls, oversee their teeth brushing, whatever was needed. He’s been my Rock of Gibraltar.”
When they reached the ranch house, Russ waved from Worth’s office, the phone glued to his ear. There was no sign of Jamie or the Rock of Gibraltar.
Elizabeth went in search while Mary joined Russ.
Male laughter led her through the kitchen to the glassed-in back porch. She stood inside the back door, looking out at a small area of green grass surrounded by fruit trees. In the center of the lawn, Worth, his bent knees practically touching his chest, sat with Jamie in a child’s plastic wading pool.
As Elizabeth watched silently, Jamie slapped at the water and looked up for Worth’s approval. Worth responded with a small wave directed toward Jamie’s stomach. Her son laughed gleefully, patting his stomach with his hands. Then he leaned forward, dropping to his hands and knees and scurried over to Worth, where he scaled him like a tree. Worth hugged the little boy, his deep laughter mingling with the child’s giggles.
The scene blurred and Elizabeth turned away, biting her lower lip. This was how it was supposed to be. The nine months she’d carried her precious cargo, this was how she’d visualized their future. Her child, cherished by his father.
While a teenager, she’d cried a storm of tears when her stepfather had received transfer orders right after she’d been elected to a high school office for the next year. Her stepfather had been sympathetic, but they had moved before the school year began. The advice he’d given her then echoed in her ear. “Change what you can, Elizabeth. Learn to live with what you can’t.”
She dabbed at her eyes, took a deep breath and opened the door.
Worth was encouraging Jamie to stamp his feet in the water.
“I hope he understands what’s acceptable in wading pools doesn’t cut it in the bathtub,” Elizabeth said severely.
Jamie got so excited at the sound of her voice, he would have fallen except for Worth’s secure grasp.
“We had a long discussion about that before we got in the pool, and Jimbo assured me he’s clear on the difference.”
“I’m sure,” Elizabeth said dryly, holding out her arms.
“He’s soaking wet.” Clasping her son to his chest, Worth uncoiled his legs and stood, water streaming down his body.
Jamie’s diapers and rubber pants held so much water, they sagged below his bottom. Worth wore wet, boxy bathing trunks, slung low around his hips. There any similarity between the two ended.