by Tina Beckett
Ben had been a whole lot better at feigning nonchalance than she had as he’d taken the canvas sacks from the housekeeper and helped her put things away. But the burning glances he’d thrown her from time to time had told her he’d rather be right back in that bed with her.
Heat washed over her as she tried to corral her thoughts and keep them from straying any further down that dangerous path.
Tracy rolled up Cleo’s shorts. “Ready?”
“I—I think so.”
With a quick jab that was designed to cause as little pain as possible, she pushed the needle home and injected the medicine. Other than the quick intake of breath, the little girl didn’t make a sound. As soon as Tracy withdrew and capped the syringe, she tossed the instrument into the mini medical waste container they’d set up.
Cleo’s voice came from the stool where she was still seated. “Are you going to work for Dr. Morena?”
Ah, so she had heard the doctor as she’d talked to them in the exam room. Tracy didn’t have an answer today any more than she’d had one for Ben when he’d asked her much the same question after making love.
They hadn’t been together again since that night but he’d gotten into the habit of dropping a kiss on her cheek before he left for work each day. She probably should have moved away the first time he’d done it, but this morning she’d found herself lifting her cheek to him in anticipation. At this rate, she’d be puckering up and laying one right on his lips very soon.
Probably not a smart idea.
She’d never fooled herself into thinking she didn’t love Ben. Of course she did. She’d never stopped. She had been furious with him after the yellow fever incident and had needed time to think about how to deal with everything that had been going on in her life. Only she’d taken too much time, and hiding her condition had become second nature—and had seemed easier than returning to Teresina to tell him the truth.
During all those years she’d been gone he’d never called her, never begged her to change her mind. Although she couldn’t imagine Ben ever doing that. He was strong, stoic. He’d had to be self-sufficient as a child in order to cope, since his parents had rarely been there for him.
She hadn’t been there for him either.
But now he knew why. Didn’t that change everything? Wasn’t that what those little pecks on the cheek had meant?
She could say she hoped so, but in reality she had no idea. He’d barely had any time to process the information, but how would he feel once he had? She knew she was more than just the sum of her parts, but Ben loved her breasts. That much had been obvious from the heat in his eyes as her hands had cupped them. Stroked over the tips.
And, yep…her mind was right back in the gutter, despite her best efforts.
With a start she realized she was still standing in front of the cabinet, and that Cleo was now frowning up at her with a look of concern. Oh, she’d asked about Dr. Morena and whether she was going to work for her.
“How do you feel about what the doctor said? About me working at the clinic?”
Cleo hopped down from the stool and unrolled the leg of the shorts. “Does that mean we’ll keep on staying with you?”
Afraid to get the girl’s hopes up too high, she said, “Why don’t you leave the worrying about that to us, okay?” She dropped a quick kiss on her head. “Just know that you are loved.”
* * *
Ben pushed through the front door, stopping short when the sounds of screaming came from the backyard. Dropping his briefcase on the floor, he yelled for Tracy, but other than those distant shouts his call was met by silence. A sense of weird deja vu settled over him. This was much like the day he’d come home to find Tracy gone.
Except there’d been no shouting that day. Speaking of which…
Moving to the back of the house, he threw open the door that led to the patio. There, in the pool, were three bodies. Only they were very much alive.
In fact, it looked like he’d arrived in the middle of some kind of battle from the looks of the water guns in each person’s hands. He walked up the steps to the top of the deck, which was still under construction, and all three pairs of eyes turned to him in a synchronized fashion. Too late, he realized his mistake when Daniel shouted, “Atire-nele!”
They all took aim and squeezed their triggers. Water came at him from three different angles, soaking his blue dress shirt and plastering it to his chest. “Hey! Enough already!”
No one listened, but then Tracy, clad in a cherry-red bikini that held his eyes prisoner for several long seconds, ran out of water first. As she was dunking her gun to reload, he pounced, going over the side of the water tank in one smooth move and capturing her gun hand as he hit the water—before she had time to bring it back up. She gave a startled scream when he wrapped his arms around her and took her with him beneath the water. Out of sight of the kids, who were bobbing around him, he planted his lips on Tracy’s, a stream of bubbles rising as she laughed against her will. He let her up, where she coughed and spluttered. “Not fair!”
He slicked his hair out of his face, brows lifted. “And shooting me without any warning was?”
“You saw the water guns. We figured that was all the warning you deserved.”
Ben stood there, dress shoes lying at the bottom of the pool, obviously ruined by now.
But he wouldn’t change this scene for anything in the world. This was what he’d always dreamed of. Except in his daydreams Tracy had stayed by his side for ever. For a minute or two he allowed himself to mourn what might never be. But Tracy was here, right now. And all he wanted to do was pull the loose end on that bikini and see what happened. Only they weren’t alone.
But at least she was playing. Laughing at his attempt to kiss her beneath the water. Maybe it was enough for now. He could wait and see how things went. If he didn’t get his hopes up too high, they couldn’t be dashed. Right?
“So. You planned to ambush me the minute I arrived, did you?”
Daniel gave him another squirt—which hit him squarely in the eye. “Ow!”
Another laugh from Tracy. When was the last time he’d heard her laugh with abandon? Far too long ago.
Her gun was still on the bottom of the pool. Diving beneath the water, he retrieved it and came back up, his head just barely above the surface as he let water fill the reservoir. Then he went on the attack, giving back as good as he got. Tracy stayed well out of the line of fire this time, double checking her bikini to make sure she was still in it. The act distracted him for a second and both the kids got him again.
He glared at his wife, mimicking her earlier words. “Not fair.”
“Oh, but you know what they say. All’s fair in…” Her voice trailed away, her smile dying with it.
He cursed himself, even though he knew it wasn’t his fault. Instead, he waved the kids off for a minute and jogged over to her. Draping an arm around her waist, he whispered in her ear. “Let’s just take it a day at a time, okay? No expectations.”
The smile she gave him was tremulous. “I feel awful, Ben.”
“Don’t.” He kissed her cheek. “Although I think you owe me a new pair of shoes.”
“Done.” She slid back beneath the water and leaned against the side. “This was a great idea. The kids love it. I’m thinking of enrolling Cleo in swimming lessons. Did you know she doesn’t swim?”
Tracy had switched to English so the kids wouldn’t understand her. He glanced at Cleo, who was hanging onto the side of the tank with one hand while maneuvering the water gun with the other. He answered her back in the same language. “She definitely needs to learn if the pool is going to stay up year round. How about Daniel?”
“He had lessons in school, but he’s never had a place to practice. So it might not be a bad idea for him to brush up on his skills as well.”
“Right.” He leaned back beside her, stretching his legs out beneath the water. Tracy’s limbs looked pale next to the black fabric of his slacks. “Did you put
sunscreen on?”
“SPF sixty. The kids have some on as well.”
He touched her nose, which, despite her sun protection, was slightly pink. “How long have you guys been in the water?”
“About an hour. We were making a list of recipes that the kids’ mother used to fix, and I felt like we needed to do something fun afterwards. I don’t want every memory of their mom to end on a sad note.”
“Smart.” Ben paused, wondering how to ask the question that had been bothering him for the last couple of days. His timing tended to suck, so why worry about that now? “Listen, I’ve been meaning to ask. About the other night…”
She tensed beside him. “I don’t think now is the best time to talk about this.”
“I haven’t exactly been able to get you alone.” Whether that had been on purpose or not, only Tracy could say. “I’ll say it in English, so no one else will understand. Are you okay?”
“Okay?”
“Are you upset with me for the way I…?”
He didn’t know how else to ask it. And he wasn’t sure if he was asking if Tracy was okay, or if “they” were okay.
She shook her head, eyes softening. “No. Of course I’m not upset.”
“You’ve been acting a little funny.”
“This whole situation is a little funny.” She sighed. “I never expected to be back in Teresina.”
“Are you sorry you came?”
Ben wasn’t sure why he was pushing so hard for reassurance, but he felt like he was slipping and sliding around, searching for something that might or might not be there.
“No. But I was going to tell you something later today. I made a phone call and talked to my old doctor here. She got me an appointment with a surgeon on Monday.”
He froze, then a million and one questions immediately came to mind. She gave a quick nod at the kids, who, Ben realized, were both looking at them, trying to figure out what was being said. “Okay. Let’s discuss it after dinner, okay?”
“Thank you.” She switched back to Portuguese. “Is the military still monitoring your movements?”
He’d mentioned an unmarked vehicle parked in the lot at the hospital since they’d gotten back to Teresina. He hadn’t recognized it and the driver was always the same person. It was either the military or a terrorist, Ben had told her with a rueful smile. The latter wasn’t very likely in Brazil, since it was a pacifist country.
“The car hasn’t been in the lot for the last two days so hopefully, if it was the General’s doing, they’ve decided I’m too boring to keep tabs on.” He pulled a face at the kids.
Tracy laughed. “Those guys don’t know you very well, then, do they, Dr. Almeida? You’re quite unpredictable.”
The way she said it warmed his heart, despite the chill he’d felt when she’d mentioned the word “surgeon.”
He planted a hand on his chest as if wounded and winked at Cleo. “You think I’m a pretty boring guy, don’t you?”
The little girl giggled then shook her head.
“What about you?” he asked Daniel.
The boy scratched his head with the tip of his water gun. “I guess you’re okay. Not too boring.”
Tracy grinned then shot Ben a smug look. “See? Told you.”
They were throwing playful barbs at each other again. His spine relaxed. How good it felt to be back on solid footing, instead of crashing around in a scary place where you couldn’t see the bottom for the muck.
At least for today. Monday might bring something altogether different.
* * *
Ben had knocked on her door that night around midnight. She’d been half expecting him to come and see her out of earshot of the kids. What she hadn’t expected was for him to push the door shut with his foot and stand there, staring at her.
Then he’d swept her in his arms and kissed her as if there was no tomorrow. They’d made love on her bed, and it had been as fresh and new as the other two times they’d been together. Afterwards, he’d held her in his arms.
“Whatever happens on Monday, we’ll face it together, okay?”
A little sliver of doubt went through her chest. “Are you saying you want to go with me?”
“Would that be okay?”
Tracy had to decide to let him in completely or shut him out. “What about your work?”
“I can take off for a couple of hours.” Ben caught a strand of her hair, rubbing it between his fingertips.
“Okay.” Whew. Why did that feel so huge? “I won’t make any firm decisions until Cleo’s diabetes is under control, but I just need to see where I am. I’ve been neglecting my tests and want to get caught up with them.”
“Why now?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I’ve been running away from making a decision one way or the other.”
He nodded and wrapped the lock of hair around his finger. “If I asked you to start sleeping in our old bed again, would you say yes?”
“Tonight? Or…?”
“Not just tonight. From now on.”
Wow. This had gone from talking about her appointment to Ben asking her to make their marriage a real one. At least that’s what she thought he was asking. “I assume by sleeping, you don’t actually mean closing our eyes.”
The right side of his mouth quirked up. “I definitely think there might be some eye closing going on, but it would take place well before any actual sleeping.”
Tracy’s body quickened despite having just made love with this man fifteen minutes ago. She tilted her head as if in deep thought. “Hmm. I don’t know. Do you snore?”
“Interesting question. I do make sounds from time to time, but I don’t know if I’d call them snoring.” His fingers tunneled into her hair, massaging her head in tiny circles that made her shiver.
“I think I remember those sounds. I kind of liked them.”
“Did you, now?” His thumb trailed down the side of her throat, stroking the spot where her pulse was beginning to pick up speed in response to his words and his touch.
“Mmm.”
He leaned over and kissed the side of her jaw. “And I kind of like the little sound you just made.”
“I’m glad, because if you keep that up, I’m going to be making a lot more of— Oh!” Her breath caught as his teeth nipped the crook of her neck, sucking the blood to the surface and then licking over it with his warm tongue.
“Say yes,” he whispered.
“Yes.” She wasn’t sure what she was agreeing to, but it didn’t really matter at this point. She wasn’t about to hold anything back, and she trusted him enough to know he wouldn’t ask her for more than she could give.
He moved to her lips. “Yes to sleeping in my bed?”
“I thought we’d already decided that.”
“No, you were still questioning whether or not I snored.” His tongue slowly licked across her mouth.
“No snoring. Just sounds.” As she said each word, his tongue delved into her mouth before finally cutting off her speech altogether.
I didn’t matter, though, because Tracy was already beyond rational thought, her arms winding around his neck.
She was ready to lose herself to him all over again—for as long as he wanted her.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
BEN WAS STILL groggy with sleep when he reached across the bed and realized Tracy was no longer there. He could hear her talking softly from somewhere nearby, and he woke up the rest of the way in a flash.
“But I have a doctor’s appointment on Monday.” There was a pause. “I suppose I could. It’s not urgent.”
Ben sat up in bed, looking for her. She must be in the bathroom.
He wasn’t purposely trying to eavesdrop, but something about the way she kept her voice hushed said she wasn’t anxious for anyone to hear the conversation.
“I don’t want to be gone long. Cleo’s still getting her shots regulated.”
Climbing out of bed and reaching for his boxers, he padded to the door. “Pedro, I can’
t leave right this second. No, I know. I’m sure Rosa won’t mind watching them while Ben is at work. She used to watch him when his parents were gone. I’d have to teach her how to give Cleo her insulin shots, though.”
Rosa won’t mind watching them.
The soft warmth he’d felt during the night evaporated. Why would Rosa need to watch the kids? Or give Cleo her shots?
Unless Tracy was planning to be gone for a while.
And why was she talking to Pedro in the bathroom, unless she was keeping something from him?
It wouldn’t be the first time.
They’d been home less than a week, and she was already off somewhere?
A jumble of emotions spun up inside him like a tornado, anger being the first to reach the top.
No. He was not heading down this path again. He turned the knob and pushed the door open.
Tracy’s mouth rounded in a perfect “O” that had looked incredibly sexy last night. But all he saw this morning was betrayal.
“Pedro, hold on just a second.”
She put her hand over the phone, but Ben beat her to the punch. “You’re leaving.”
Licking her lips, she nodded. “Just for a few days. The medical boat docked at a flooded village. There are five cases of cholera and there’s certain to be dozens more, as they’ve all been drinking from the same water source.”
“Send someone else.” His voice was cold and hard, but that’s how he felt inside. “Let Pedro deal with it.”
“He’s not a doctor, Ben. I am. Matt called him, they’re expecting to be overwhelmed by—”
“You’re a doctor. Not the only doctor in the whole country. You have responsibilities here.”
“Rosa can—”
Fury washed over him. “Rosa practically raised my brother and me. These kids need a steady presence in their lives, not be pushed off on someone else every time your assistant has a runny nose. You promised me at least six months.”
“It’s only this one time.”
He closed his eyes for a second, his hand squeezing the doorknob for all he was worth. Then he took a deep breath. “I’m going to lay it out for you, Tracy. Either you let someone else handle this, and we start looking toward a future. Together. Or I’m filing for divorce. Even if I have to go all the way to New York to do it.”