by Kailin Gow
“There's a vamp bar near here,” said Aaron. “One of our suppliers. Vamp wine – it's called Rigor Mortis, on Bethlehem Road. Here – close – stop the car!”
The car screeched into stillness in the lot of a gas station.
“I'm texting her right now,” said Jaegar from the back seat. “Not without irony. Told her I really need some of what she's got.” He laughed, his weakness still evident from his hollow voice. He staggered out of the car. “She's meeting me here.” He gave Kalina an insouciant wink. “We do it in the parking lot.”
“I'll be right back,” said Aaron, speeding into the night.
“Hey – get him a spare,” said Kalina. “In case this girl doesn't show.”
“I'd rather die than drink vampire wine,” Jaegar scoffed. “Now – a little privacy, please?”
He was hurt; she could see it in his eyes. She hadn't chosen him back at Octavius’ villa – even after all that had happened between them – and he wanted her to know just how easy it was for him to find another girl, a girl that could give her his blood. He doesn't have to rub it in, she thought.
“Fine,” she said. “I'll give you some time alone with Nadine. I'll come back in five. But I assume it won't take too long.”
She slammed the car door shut and walked into the gas station shop. The neon lights seemed to mock her pain, twinkling brightly as she entered.
“Hey – can I have some service?”
The shop was empty; behind her, the door kept on swinging, creaking on its hinges.
Hello?”
She crept towards the cash register, dropping her voice to a whisper. “Hello?” she called softly. Something was wrong.
And then she saw the foot peeking out from behind the cash-register. It was at an unnatural angle, pointing towards her like an arrow, the white sneakers stained with blood.
Kalina gasped, forcing her hand over her mouth in order to remain silent. “No,” she thought to herself, “No – no – no....”
She heard a flushing sound – from the bathroom at the other end of the store. Without thinking, she turned immediately and started running.
She was stopped by a light touch on the small of her back.
She knew that speed. Vampires.
She whirled around, ready to fight – but saw nobody before her.
She felt a gentle tugging at her shirt. “I'm right here,” said a voice.
She looked down to see a small child – a boy of no more than eight years of age, with blood staining his shirt.
Oh no – no the young ones, the thought. She remembered well the first vampire she'd seen, the first vampire she'd killed – the little girl with pigtails and a malicious grin on her porcelain-doll face. The littlest ones were always the strongest. She reached into her pocket for the stake, backing away as she did so.
“Back off,” she said.
“You smell sweet,” said the boy. He gave a wicked chortle – filled with the kind of cruelty no little boy should ever know about. The contrast unsettled her. There was nothing innocent about this child – could he have been somebody's son, once? “I can smell it. I like sweets.” He grinned at her.
Kalina took another step backwards. “Didn't your mother ever tell you sweets are bad for you?” asked Kalina?
“Oh yes,” said the little boy. “But that was a long time ago. Before you were born. Before your grandfather was born. We were in a covered wagon, heading West...my mother told me to stop eating so many sweets.” He flashed a full set of teeth at her. “Then I silenced her. For good.”
Kalina tightened her grip on the stake. She could see the evil in his eyes; nevertheless, she hesitated. He still sounded like a child, despite his cruelty – like a little boy, stunted forever from growing mature, from growing up – its experience never making it wise. He would never marry – never fall in love – never have children – never experience life....
The vampire licked his lips and then Kalina regretted her moment of weakness. He jumped upon her, pushing her to the ground. His fangs flashed white in the yellowing light of the store. Kalina could feel his breath against her throat, his fangs brushing the line of her neck.
This is it, Kalina thought, her voice tight with terror. She couldn't even scream. She knew what she had to do – when she was beaten there was only one thing to do: to end it before the vampire did. She forced the stake upwards, towards her own heart, feeling the pressure against her skin.
She was going to die.
Her hands trembled as the stake came closer, as the vampire's lips began seeking her neck – she whispered a prayer and then, before she could move, the vampire was gone, and there was only a pile of dust at her feet.
“What the....”
Jaegar appeared before her, a stake in his hand. “Get up,” he said. “We have to get out of...” She could see the blood on his shirt – Nadine's blood. Had they had sex, too?
Kalina could not move. Fear and exhaustion had set upon her limbs. “I – I was going to...”
Jaegar bent down gently, his earlier brusqueness vanished. “I know,” he said. He gathered her into his arms. “We wouldn't ever – ever – let you do that.” He smiled weakly. “I don't know what I'd do if I lost my...sparring partner.”
“Your sparring partner,” said Kalina, scrambling to her feet. Of course that was all she was – all she ever could be to Jaegar. For all the sweet things he had murmured into her ear a few nights ago, what he really wanted was a woman he could suck dry. “Is that all?”
“Of course not!” Jaegar's voice grew in anger. “But what do you expect? He's my brother and I love him – and if you want me to be happy for you both, I will – but don't expect me to keep on waiting for you!”
“What?”
“When I thought it was Stuart – oh, don't get me wrong – I was jealous – it's Stuart, for goodness's sake – but it's different with Aaron. He's my baby brother. He means more to me than you will ever...”
“Aaron?”
“That's why you couldn't choose between us, wasn't it? Because you really just wanted him.”
“No, that's not...”
“After all he went through – after all he sacrificed for you – he loves you, how could you not?”
“Jaegar!” Kalina spoke sharply. “I didn't ask for it – okay? The last thing I need is that kind of responsibility – to anyone! Not to you, not to Aaron, not to Stuart!”
“Could you be more exasperating, Kalina?”
“What are you talking about?”
Jaegar wrapped his arms around her. “We've sworn to protect you,” he said. “All of us. That's what we do. Please – please don't make this harder than it has to be...”
“Make what harder?”
“I saw what happened in the basement, Kalina. And if you want me to step aside, I'll do it – but don't mess me around – or Stuart – or Aaron. They're my brothers, too. Yeah, even Stuart...as much as I hate to admit it. Truth be told, I'd rather it be Aaron – but you need to let me know what's going on. You owe it to all of us, after all we've done.”
He was right, she knew. She'd allowed herself to be carried away by these feelings – so new, so strange – for these vampires; she still had no way of knowing which feelings were real and which magical, which caused by compulsion and which caused by her natural affinity for vampires, and which by true love.
“I'm trying to figure it out, Jaegar! I'm not doing this on purpose.”
“I've laid my cards on the table for you. It's your turn.”
“Look – Aaron and I were over!” Kalina cried. “But – seeing him again...I broke up with him – but for the wrong reasons, reasons that were a lie! How am I supposed to feel, after everything that's happened with you two. And it doesn't help that you're all vampires – with powers of attraction!” She crossed her arms. “And that none of you will bite me.” She could have laughed at her own silliness; she turned red from embarrassment.
“Oh, Kalina.” He kissed her brow softly. “I kn
ow what happened two nights ago – but that was before Aaron came back – and now everything's so...different. We still don't know what's happened to Stuart...”
“He's fine,” Kalina said. “He's got to be fine!”
“I don't know how you feel anymore!”
“You know how I feel!” Kalina cried. “I feel so much – for all of you...I feel so much.”
He placed his hands squarely on her shoulders. “Do you want me?” he asked her. His face was grave, his beautiful blue eyes intense on hers.
“You know I do.”
He forced her mouth against his, finding the depths of her with his tongue. She froze, paralyzed again by that same electricity that always seemed to come over her when he was nearby, before sparking to life again, kissing him back with the same ardor.
“I've wanted to do that ever since I saw you come into the basement,” he murmured. “I've missed you so much – wanted you so much...loved you so...I was so afraid for you.”
He continued murmuring words into the side of her neck; his hands found her waist, their way up her shirt...
“Kalina?”
They broke apart, only to discover Aaron staring at them from the door way. Aaron's face was a canvas of emotions – anger, shock, fear, bitterness, pain all evident in his eyes and on his lips. “Get off her!” He rushed towards them. “Oh, Jaegar – steal from Stuart all you want – your twisted rivalries are none of my concern – but leave Kal out of this!” He threw himself against Jaegar, dragging him to his feet and punching him squarely in the jaw.
“Wait...” Kalina tried.
“I will not let you get her blood – if I have to stake you myself!”
“Stop it!” Kalina cried. They turned to look at her. “Calm down – it's not like that – he wasn't about to drink...”
Aaron rounded on her. “So, this is how you say hello after thinking I was dead! By screwing my brother!”
“I thought you were dead!” Kalina shouted.
“Did you even miss me? Or did you just jump into bed with my brother?”
“Did I miss you? Did I miss you? For three months I didn't eat, didn't sleep. I cried all the time. I dropped out of cheerleading. I lost half my friends. My grades dropped. My whole life was about to end!” Kalina held back her tears. “First I lost my parents and then you. But I had to move on! And when your brothers showed up – with your eyes, and your smile – it was like I got some part of you back again. It was like you weren't really dead – like I could still talk to you, still be with you, in them. And I've grown to love them.” She swallowed hard. “Both of them. Not to mention – I've just been dealing with the fact that you're a vampire! So please excuse me if I'm a bit confused at the moment.”
Aaron's face fell. “I'm sorry Kal,” he said, putting his arm around her. “I wanted to tell you; I really did...it's not going to be easy...”
“It's complicated,” sighed Kalina. “Life is complicated – love, love is complicated. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I didn't want to live a lie.”
“I'm sorry – I'm so sorry – I should have told you, Kal.”
“Why didn't you?” Kalina was growing angry now. “You should have told me. Or did you think I couldn't handle it? Did you think I was so fragile I'd break if I heard the truth? Because I didn't! You can't just make decisions for me!”
“You told her?” Aaron couldn't look Jaegar in the face.
“The first time – she panicked, it's true. I had to make her forget, with compulsion.”
“You what?” Kalina turned on him.
“But Stuart and I tried again – we told her together – she handled it well.”
“I'm still in the room, you know.”
“She's tougher than you think,” said Jaegar.
“Jaegar,” Aaron's voice dropped to a whisper. “You didn't...”
“I'm still here!” But they had forgotten her, now, so lost were they in their rivalry and anger.
“You two didn't...”
“That's none of your bloody business!” Kalina cried. “I mean, really – are you both still stuck being seventeen forever? Obviously you haven’t gotten over your raging hormones.”
Both Aaron and Jaegar looked down, shame-faced.
“Now, drive me home – and don't you dare say one word about who I'm sleeping with, or not sleeping with, or who loves me.” She stamped her foot and crossed her arms. “When I figure it out – I'll let you know.”
Chapter 6
The drive home was conducted in silence. The car was big enough to easily fit six, but the tensions made the car feel claustrophobic, even with only the three of them inside it. Unspoken thoughts and regretted words hung stale in the air, and at times the silence was so overwhelming that Kalina began to feel as if she could not breathe at all. She had taken the wheel for the first half of the drive; eventually, Jaegar had taken over, his eyes flashing with newfound energy. She tried not to think about where he had gotten it – or whom he had gotten it from. As for Aaron, he was sleeping in the back of the car, covered by a heavy wool blanket.
(“Dawn's come,” Jaegar had said, tucking Aaron into the back seat as a mother might tuck in a child. “I don't want you smoldering back there.”)
Kalina had curled up into the passenger seat, resting her head against the smooth glass of the window. Even after all that had happened, her anger began to evaporate as exhaustion took hold. Her eyes began to close, sinking slowly down into oblivion. The last thing she saw as sleep overtook her was Jaegar's ring, glinting in the hint of dawn – the talisman she had made for him with her blood, which could save him from the sunrise. She'd have to make one for Aaron, too, she thought drowsily, and then her thoughts went black.
When Kalina woke, it was already evening, and the moon was bright and bulbous in the sky.
“Where are we?” she murmured. She sat up and was struck by the familiarity of her surroundings. They were parked right across the street from her house. “Why didn't you wake me? Oh, God – Justin's going to...”
“We got in a few hours ago,” said Jaegar. “Nobody was home – I knocked. So I just figured I'd park here. I couldn't get in without an invitation – and I didn't want to wake you. You needed your sleep. And so did Aaron.”
“You could have woken me up,” said Kalina, rubbing her eyes. “I wouldn't have minded.”
Jaegar shook his head. “You looked so peaceful,” he said - “the first time you've seemed relaxed in days. I couldn't stand to wake you up – and have you remember...”
“Thanks, I guess,” Kalina murmured.
“You know,” Jaegar continued. “The way humans sleep. It's so different from how vampires do it. It's really very strange. When vampires sleep, you can tell – we're having nightmares. Our brows furrow. Our faces blanch. But humans – it looks like sleep brings them peace. Is that true, Kalina?”
“Sometimes,” said Kalina. “Don't you remember?”
Jaegar's face darkened and he looked away.
“When we were at the motel...” Kalina began.
“I watched you sleep,” said Jaegar. “It helped to calm me down, to help me think straight. It was soothing, watching you. Watching over you.”
His voice was alive with strangeness. He was a vampire – it was so easy to forget this with Aaron, with Stuart. They could fit into the human world, into human life. Their beauty was almost unparalleled, but yet neither of them had so lost their humanity as to seem like a different creature entirely. But with Jaegar it was different. He was a vampire, through and through – he had of all his brothers forgotten what it meant to be human – its rhythms, its meaning. She had never expected to feel any kind of kinship with him, any kind of closeness. But now, as he reached to touch her cheek, she could not resist sighing softly, letting the sound escape her lips in a whisper of desire. “Jaegar....”
“Don't wake Aaron,” he said, silencing her.
Kalina sighed again. “It's going to be strange,” she said – her voice dropping do
wn to slow quiet - “seeing Aaron as a vampire. I've known him for so long – I didn't think of him as a vampire, as a human, as anything, really. He was...just Aaron. And now...”
“It will be a difficult transition,” said Jaegar, staring straight ahead.
“Should he have told me?” Kalina asked. “I mean,” she gave a little laugh. “You were honest with me from the beginning, at least. You told me not to trust you, to be careful around you. Maybe I didn't listen – but you were up front with what you were. What would have happened if – Aaron had lost control? If we...you know – and he vamped out and tried to bite me? I would have had no idea – how to defend myself, how to stake a vampire, that he even was a vampire.”
“Aaron did what he thought was best,” said Jaegar swiftly. Aaron may have been a romantic rival, but Kalina knew he would never speak ill of his brother. “He is young still,” said Jaegar, “and immature – this is true. But he is a good man...a good vampire.”
Yes, thought Kalina, Aaron was immature. He was, like Stuart, eager to fit in with humans, to learn their ways, and yet at the same time Stuart was far more mature, far more capable of shouldering his responsibilities. He had taught her to defend herself in those long twilights at Greystone Wineries. He had taken care of her when she blacked out on the porch of her own house. He had even won over Justin.
A familiar light on the porch interrupted her reveries.
“Oh, gosh,” she said. “Justin's home. I should probably...”
“Of course.” Jaegar turned to her.
“I texted him that I was at Maeve's – I don't want him to...”
“I understand,” said Jaegar. “We'll continue this later.”
“I don't want him to see your car,” said Kalina. “If he thought I was at Maeve's.”
Jaegar nodded.
“You should go,” Kalina continued. “I don't want to have to introduce another vampire to my brother right now.”
“Justin!” a sleepy voice came from the backseat. “How is Justin?”
“Aaron!” Kalina hoped he hadn't heard their conversation. From the sound of his voice, it seemed that he had only just woken up. She was relieved. “He's good – busy – look, if it's okay with you, I don't think he'll be able to handle your resurrection just yet – so I'll just...go inside, okay?”