by Kailin Gow
“Jaegar, why is everyone so okay with this? Please tell me...”
“We're not okay with this!” Jaegar shot back. Finally, some sanity. “You think it doesn't kill us – all of us – knowing you'll be with Octavius? I've known him for centuries, and there isn't a woman that refused him...”
“Then why?”
“Well, for starters, we're in captivity,” Jaegar grimaced. “And you know as well as we do – you need time away from us, anyway. We're a seductive bunch,” he laughed. “But apparently not seductive enough. If you still want us, after – I trust Octavius – he'll let you free. And it's not safe for you out there. Octavius has soldiers – he has men – he won't drain you for money...”
She could see the resignation in his eyes. This decision had been hard for him.
“It's your safety that matters, Kalina. Not who gets the girl.”
Kalina felt hot tears flowing down her cheeks. “All of you,” she said “I don't deserve any of you – I...I love you all!”
“Aye, there's the rub,” said Jaegar with a wry grin, as he hung up the phone. For an instant she could see those three beautiful faces staring at her from the computer screen; she bit back the tears and handed the laptop to Octavius.
“Fine,” she said. “You win. You can court me – but no guarantees. And I want one thing.”
“What's that?”
“Vampire's honor. No compulsion. No trickery. No magic. I'll let you protect me, if that's what you want, and I'll let you try – but mind-controlling stuff.”
“Naturally,” said Octavius. “I am a romantic at heart. I will tell you nothing but the truth; I promise you that.” He went over to the window.
“What are you doing?”
“Your brother will be back soon,” said Octavius. “I doubt he would take kindly to a strange vampire in your bedroom. I will return tomorrow night”
The second one tonight, thought Kalina, as he vanished. She was not sorry to see him go – and yet when he had gone she felt a strange, pulling emptiness within her body, a hollow desire for those almond-shaped eyes, those broad shoulders.
She curled into bed, alone at last. Perhaps – just perhaps – it was all a dream...
Chapter 10
The next day at school seemed to pass in something of a blur. Kalina found that she couldn't concentrate on anything, so lost was she in her memories of the night before. Had Octavius really come to her – really offered himself to her? Was she his invited guest – or his prisoner? The behaviors of Stuart, Jaegar, and Aaron on the video monitor had seemed so strange to her. They had loved her – she knew that they had loved her – and yet nevertheless they had agreed to let Octavius take her without complaining. If she accepted. Kalina thought back over her conversation with Octavius, his slow, smooth, flirtations, and tried to remember whether she had in fact accepted – and why she had done so. Octavius was holding the Greystone brothers prisoner, after all. And he had promised her their release – vampire's honor. They seemed to trust him, all three brothers, despite what had happened earlier at Octavius’ villa. They had risked their lives for Kalina before; she felt confident that not one of them would lie, would endanger her just to save their own fangs. And yet Octavius could have used compulsion on them – surely? And yet...if Octavius truly wanted her, if he wanted to suck her blood and drain her dry, he wouldn't have had to convince her. He could just have kidnapped her. Kalina hated to admit it, but Octavius was much – much – stronger than she was. All her skill with a stake was good enough to stave off ordinary vampires, but Octavius was in his strength and beauty seemingly a different creature entirely.
Kalina dreamed her way through math class, lost in thought – lost in her reveries. She leaned her head upon her hand, pondering the situation. She closed her eyes, only for a moment, and instead of calculus notes and limits before her, she saw the face of the four vampires who had, one after another, come into her life – kissed her and left her changed. Stuart – so handsome, clean-cut, mature, wise and yet not exciting – Aaron, youthful and impetuous – Jaegar, wry and gleefully anarchic...and now Octavius. His eyes were sultry and full of fire; even when she closed her eyes, miles from his gaze, she felt his powerful stare still upon her body, wrapping over her curves....
“Kalina!” Her math teacher was rapping on the board. “Did you hear me?”
She jolted herself into paying attention. “Yeah,” she said, with unconvincing perkiness. “Sure.”
“Well?” He didn't look too pleased. Kalina's face fell.
“Sorry,” she said. “I zoned out there for a moment.”
“Senioritis, Kalina?” Mr. Malick looked down his glasses at her. “Just because you've submitted your Yale application doesn't mean you're done with school – or too good for the classroom!”
The room vibrated with titters. Kalina flushed hot. She had been teased by plenty of girls already for her first-choice of college – that she thought she was “above” the West Coast, that she thought she was better than them, that she didn't have a chance of getting in, anyway – and the reminder stung.
If I even get to college, she thought. She had sent off her college applications the week before meeting Stuart and Jaegar, and hadn't even thought about them since, so overwhelmed had she been with her new life. It was now December – almost time for winter break – and she was due to hear back from her early-decision choices any day now...
And she hadn't even thought about it. Her blush turned even redder.
She sought out Maeve after math class. She realized that she hadn't even spoken to her best friend since that night she had exploded in anger, when she had seen Maeve and Stuart together – Stuart had been drinking Maeve's blood for medicinal reasons – and despite herself she had lost her temper. She hadn't even been to school since...
It was a good thing she had good grades, Kalina thought. Because otherwise, she would be a high-school dropout right about now.
“Hey,” Kalina gave Maeve an awkward wave when she ran into her in the locker room.
“Hey.” Maeve straightened up.
“I just wanted to say...”
“Yeah?” Maeve put her hands on her hips.
“I'm sorry, okay?” Kalina sighed. “Look – I overreacted.”
“You should be,” said Maeve, and Kalina's face fell. “What kind of friend would I be if I did that? I’m not into Stuart like that whatsoever – and considering I was doing you a favor by giving up my blood for that...that...vampire!”
“I said I was...”
“I mean, God, Kalina! All you ever seem to think about these days is you – your boyfriend (or boyfriends, I don't even know. Your romances. And some of us are literally giving blood to help you out – and then you totally screw us over.”
Maeve's face was a picture of fury.
“You're absolutely right,” said Kalina. This stopped Maeve in her tracks. “I know. I know everything you say is true.”
“Oh...” Maeve wasn't sure what to say next.
“I've been selfish, and self-obsessed, and I'm sorry. I've been so overwhelmed by all this...” she dropped her voice to a whisper. “Vampire stuff that I haven't seen clearly lately. I haven't seen who my true friends are. I've got....I've got myself into a bit of a romantic muddle. I think Stuart and I broke up, but I'm not sure.”
“I'm sorry,” said Maeve automatically. Even after their fight, it was clear to Kalina that Maeve wasn't about to stop being her best friend anytime soon.
“No, that's no excuse,” said Kalina. “It's...it's complicated. But I promise – from now on, I'm a friend first, and a girlfriend second.”
“Promise?” said Maeve in a small voice. Her anger abated, it was clear from her face that she wanted to be friends again.
“Promise,” said Kalina.
“Well, if you promise...” Maeve held out her hand; Kalina squeezed it.
“Oh, come on...” And then the two girls enveloped each other in a tight hug.
“I am going to be away for a w
hile, though,” said Kalina. “So I wanted to say goodbye. Just for a week. I'm...going on winter break a week early.”
“And Principal Barton is cool with that?”
Kalina flushed. She hadn't even thought of that.
“Yeah,” she said. “After what happened to Aaron – he's been really...supportive of me.” She hated lying to Maeve – about Aaron as about everything else – but there just didn't seem to be enough time to explain everything properly.
“You going with Justin?”
“No – no!” Oh, crap, how was she going to explain this to Justin? She mentally made a note to tell him that Stuart and Aaron's parents had invited them to their ski chalet over in Aspen. “With...a guy.”
“Another guy?”
“It's complicated. He's a vampire too – kind of like Stuart's boss?”
“His boss? Stuart's cool with this?”
“It's complicated,” said Kalina lamely. “Really – I'll tell you all of it when I come back. It's...just really complicated.”
Maeve gave a little laugh, but looked concerned. “Okay,” she said. “But take care of yourself, alright?”
“Yeah, I will.”
They hugged once more and then they parted. On her way through the hall, Kalina ran straight into Principal Barton.
“Kalina!” His face opened into a broad smile. “I'm sorry to hear you missed a week of school – but I must say, the administration is so proud of you.”
“...What?”
“Why didn't you tell us you were taking the training test?”
“...erm...”
“For the Math Olympiad at the Villa Octavio – in Italy.”
Villa Octavio?
“I'm surprised you've heard of it,” said Kalina.
His brows furrowed. “That's funny...” he said. “I can't recall...I can't remember where I...but I am so pleased! We thought you might have been ill, what with your...rough year – but training in secret for an International Olympiad? I shall make a note of that when I send my end-of-term recommendations along to Yale...”
Kalina looked more closely. His eyes bore the familiar glassy sheen of compulsion.
“I hope to do you proud,” she said, swallowing hard, before heading out to her next class.
By the end of the day, Kalina found that her stomach felt as if it had been turned inside out. Her nerves were frayed like electric cords, and the pounding in her heart refused to abate as she opened her front door. She found it unlocked.
“Hello?” she called.
Octavius greeted her with a grin.
She froze. “Where's...”
“Justin's fine.” Octavius smiled. “He left you a note. He's gone to a medical conference in Pasadena. For a week. Apparently, his employer at the hospital suddenly realized – all at once – that Justin's participation was essential to the success of the conference, and that furthermore such participation is well placed to gain Justin a more prestigious residency at the end of his internship...”
“Suddenly, huh?”
“It is a great career move for your brother.”
“Right,” said Kalina, unsure of how to feel. “Thanks.” She sighed. “And I take it I'll be doing lots of math on this trip?”
Octavius smiled. “If you like,” he said. “I have a bit more fun in mind. However, I'd advise you to take your schoolbooks and homework nonetheless. If you've applied early to Yale, you'll want to keep your grades up!”
“How do you know about that?”
Octavius shrugged. “I have ways.”
“You didn't – you didn't use compulsion on the admissions people, did you?”
“I doubt I'll need to,” said Octavius. “I took a look at your transcript while in Principal Barton's office. Apparently you have some of the best grades the school has seen in years. You won't need my help. Although I'd advise you to leave the school altogether for your final semester.”
“Why?”
“You want to be a history major, don't you?”
Kalina nodded slowly.
“Well, what better way to learn than by private tutor – vampires who have lived through the very eras you have studied! Greeks who did mathematics with Euclid. Romans who were with Virgil when he wrote The Aeneid. Renaissance men who saw the art of Florence when it was first painted.”
Even Kalina could not deny that this was exciting.
He led her into the living room, where a suitcase lay open, clothes neatly folded inside. “I took the liberty of purchasing you some clothes. They may fit you more...fashionably where we are going. I have gotten good at guessing your size – you share with Olive, no? Olive, incidentally, has gone home to Cedar Rapids. She...took her departure well.”
Kalina took a look. Inside the suitcase were some of the most beautiful clothes she'd seen – elegant linen jackets and white dresses, stunning long ball gowns and fur coats.
“Where are we going?”
Octavius looked at her. “Italy,” he said lightly, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Chapter 11
Rome was the most beautiful place Kalina had ever seen. From the moment that she arrived with Octavius in the center of the historic city – where the salmon-colored buildings and golden palazzos and cobblestone streets all vied with each other for her attention – she felt as if she were living not merely in another country, but another century. Although it was winter there, and a light mist of fog clouded them (all the better, Octavius had said, for although he could withstand the sun he found it nonetheless vaguely uncomfortable in the heat of summer), the bright lights and colors of the city nevertheless shone through. Octavius strolled with Kalina on his arm through the whole city – the Baroque facades in Piazza Navona, where Kalina gasped and covered her mouth at the sight of the Bernini statues, the awe-inspiring St. Peter's Basilica (Octavius tactfully remained outside; even as a powerful vampire, he was unable to physically enter Vatican City), and the Roman Forum. It was this last sight that brought Octavius into morose silence, and while Kalina traipsed from broken column to broken column, Octavius remained grim, shadows darkening his marble face. Was he thinking of the home he had lost – Kalina wondered? The land he had left behind, although he stood physically on the same ground?
Octavius’ villa overlooked the Villa Borghese, the leafy gardens that had once belonged to one of Rome's most powerful families, perched with a panoramic view of the city at the top of the Spanish steps. Octavius gave her a guest room down the hall from his own and, in a supreme gesture of confidence, gave her the only key. “I want you to know,” he said, “that my intentions are highly honorable.”
From the moment they touched ground in Italy, Octavius had seemed like a different man altogether. His serious, military bearing – his cruelty – had vanished. It was clear to Kalina that Octavius was home again, in a home that he loved, and that he no longer had any need of the harsh tactics he had displayed earlier.
“I do not love violence,” he said, as they sat their first evening on the balcony, with Rome glimmering in the moonlight at their feet. “But I see why it is necessary. Vampires, especially. We are a dangerous race. And those of us who are strong...it falls to us to solidify our power, if we are honorable – for if we do not, who might rule in our stead?”
“But isn't that the argument of every dictator? Every mass murderer?” Kalina shot back. “We're doing it for the common good. How do you know you're sincere?”
Octavius threw up his hands. “Ah, my girl,” he said. “You have me there – I don't. I know only that I have not yet drunk your blood, because I wish to become human one day. And you know I am an honorable vampire – for I have thus far kept to my word.”
“You used compulsion – not on me, but on my friends, my brother's boss.”
“The means to an end.”
“Does the end justify the means?”
Octavius sighed. “Only time will tell, Kalina,” he said, his eyes staring out onto the horizon. “Only time will tell.
”
Time did tell, in a way. Kalina found that by their third day together, she had ceased to treat him with the mix of wariness and contempt that she had found necessary earlier. He behaved with utmost chivalry in every regard – restraining himself physically from all contact, even the kisses on the cheek with which he greeted male and female visitors alike. He allowed her to retire to bed at her leisure, and did not wake her, even when the moon was high in the sky above them. He made suggestions for outings – an evening dessert at the opulent Cafe Greco, where Baudelaire had once dined, and evening wanderings in the Medieval district of Trastevere – but acquiesced readily when Kalina shot back with her own requests. He stood patiently outside while she visited some of the city's more famous churches.
“I do regret,” he said, as she exited S. Michel, home to one of the most famous Caravaggio paintings, “that I cannot see some of the greatest works of art, due to my...condition.”
“So only Father Botticelli could enter a church.”
“He is a lucky vampire,” said Octavius. “That is the first thing I wish to do when I become human. I wish to enter a church in Rome – the Vatican, let us say – and gaze upon all the paintings inside. Gaze upon the face of the Sistine Chapel.”
“You were born in the time of Christianity, right?”
“It was a rising sect when I was a man,” said Octavius.
Octavius shook his head. “The religion of the Romans allowed for all manner of creations – gods and demi-gods, satyrs, nymphs, half-men, giants...the divide between human and divine was bridged by all number of creations. But with Christianity, there is a clearer division. There is the mortal, and there is the divine, and none but your Christ has bridged the gap between the two of us. Thus are we vampires anathema to your creed – for we exist, essentially, in a gap that does not exist. The very consecrated ground of a church denies us entry. It destroys us.”
“Does that mean Christianity is real, you think?” Kalina wondered aloud. Certainly, she had found all this confusion with vampires to be very trying to her faith.
“It means,” said Octavius, “that many people believe in it – and that belief is very strong. Beyond this I do not know.”