by Kailin Gow
“He will be well,” he said, not looking at Kalina.
She cast her eyes downwards. “Thank you,” she said, trying not to let her lip tremble.
“You have chosen well,” said Octavius. “I would always have thought, of all the Greystone brothers, it is Stuart who is best suited to the mortal life. He longed for it most of all. It is he who is made most unhappy by its absence.”
“Stuart?”
“I am glad to see your life has regained balance.” He crossed past her. “And congratulations about Yale. I cannot say I am surprised.”
“Thank you,” said Kalina again, forcing herself to be as still and expressionless as possible.
At last he turned towards her. “Good luck with the boy,” he said. “Be good to him.”
“Stuart and I aren't...” Kalina flushed. “I mean – I'm not...”
“I see,” said Octavius. She could not deny the slight flush of relief in his cheeks. “My mistake.”
“Octavius!”
She could see that his effort to remain calm was beginning to exhaust him. “You are well, I hope?”
And then she could bear it no longer. “No,” she said softly. “I'm not. Not without you.”
He stopped short.
“You didn't use compulsion on me, did you?” She placed her hand on her hips. “Did you?”
He sighed. “I thought it was better,” said Octavius, “that you should hate me – that you should forget me – that you should think what we had was a mere trick, a mere lie...than for you to miss me.”
“I don't understand.”
“It is the only time I have ever lied to you, Kalina. And I am sorry for that. But I feared – I feared that if you should love me, if you should want me, I would not be able to be strong enough to make the choice I know I must make.”
“What choice?”
Octavius closed his eyes. “If I become human,” he said. “I cannot protect you. I am only ever a danger to you. I love you too much to let you waste your life on me. You have so much to give the world – and I cannot take you away from it, cannot turn you. Nor can I become human. Not with Mal on the loose. Not with all that must be done.”
“I don't care!” Kalina's tears had started again. “I don't care.”
He crossed quickly to her, gathering her up in his arms. “I didn't want to hurt you,” he said. “Believe me, hurting you was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But when you were taken, I knew that my actions – my public search for you, my treaty with the Consortium, had only made your life more dangerous. I thought it best for you...”
“Let me decide what's best for me!” Kalina lost herself in his embrace, feeling her cheek hot against his icy marble chest.
And then their lips were together, so close together, almost touching, and at once the words they wanted to say, had for so long wanted to say, unscrambled themselves and they were speaking, together, on that plane of dreams.
I love you. I have always loved you.
I love you so much it hurts.
I don’t want to hurt you.
I missed you so much.
And Kalina could no longer discern which thoughts were hers and which were his, no longer separate out her tears, her entreaties from his own, as the words swirled together in their minds, free of owners, free of differentiation, connected only by their rushing cacophonies of love.
I love you, Kalina. You are my bloodmate.
You are mine. You are my vampire.
I’ve searched for you for centuries…I didn’t know what finding you would mean, how it would affect everyone, me…
“Please don't go,” Kalina drew away.
Octavius cupped her head in his hands. “I must,” he said. “I must find Jaegar and Aaron. I must protect them.
“Tell me you love me!” Kalina begged. “Aloud – I want to hear it out loud. I want you to stay.”
“I cannot,” Octavius sighed. “Not with Mal out there.”
“But it's you...” her voice trailed off. “You're the one.”
“I know,” he said softly. “Now you know why I’ve searched so hard for you. Why I have to find you. It is why you first fell for the brothers – the ones I made. Their blood in me. It is why they fell for you – my blood in them. Everything that you have felt before me – everything I have felt before you – is but an echo, an echo of this. And it kills me – oh, Kalina, it kills me – that I cannot stay...with you.”
He kissed her forehead, gently.
“I will always be thinking those words – words I cannot allow myself to speak. And you need only to close your eyes, to think of me, and you will hear me think them.”
I love you.
He pulled away. “But do not think of me too much,” he said. “It will not make you happy. And I want nothing in the world more than for you to be happy.”
“Octavius!”
But it was too late. He was gone.
Epilogue
Kalina.
She whirled around. Had Octavius returned? Had he changed his mind?
Kalina.
No, it wasn't Octavius’ voice. But it wasn't Mal's, either. It was a voice she had not heard in her head for a while.
Jaegar? Where are you? Have you found Aaron?
In the back of her mind, images began to form. Mal, stained with blood, victorious in battle, standing over Jaegar with a smile that looked like death. Aaron, chained to a wall, beaten, his body pockmarked with scars. Mal, pacing back and forth, tying up Jaegar with silver chains, tying him to a chair – a chair she recognized all too well...
Jaegar, are you alright?
I'm so sorry, Kalina.
Her heart stopped.
For everything I said. I didn't mean it – I was angry – I was upset – hurt.
No, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean it, either.
I miss you.
I miss you.
Kalina, you have to know.
Have to know what?
No matter what happened – no matter that we never...that we can't...will never...I want you to know how much I loved you. How much I cared. I thought it was all about the killing, women, blood – I thought humanity was for the weak. And then I met you. And you changed all that. And you made me love. And you made my pulse beat for the first time in seven hundred years. I’ve never felt more alive than with you.
Jaegar, where are you?
She looked around, wildly, but saw only the empty room around her, and Stuart sleeping on the couch.
Not with blood, Kalina – but with love.
An image of Jaegar, strapped to the chair, struggling against where the silver seared his flesh.
Stuart?
Stuart's fine. Octavius helped him.
Tell him I love him, Kalina. Just like I'm telling you. No matter what happens to me – no matter what I become...I will always love you.
What are you talking about?
And then she saw Mal standing over Jaegar, with a hypodermic needle, a tube, and a vial of blood.
Kalina's blood.
She knew what would happen to any vampire who ingested that blood. He would become immortal, powerful beyond belief, faster than light itself. And more evil than she could ever imagine.
Jaegar, no!
She felt her healed wounds all begin to burn, her old puncture marks seared in agony, as she saw Mal jab the needle into Jaegar's arm, and begin squeezing the tube.
Jaegar!
Kalina I love you - I'll never stop – please forgive me for what I’ll become – it won’t change how I feel about you – nothing will change that!
And in the agony that followed, Kalina heard only silence.
*******************
PULSE continues in
Book 3 of PULSE
Blood Burned
November 2010
Excerpt from
Daughters of Dracula
The Stoker Sisters: Book 1
kailin gow
Prologue
&
nbsp; 8
Dorset, England 1818
The sun was faint as it made its way through the veil of clouds that obscured the sky and shone down on Stoker Manor. Sadie’s desire to keep her fair skin from being touched by the sun made these days the most enjoyable of all. The small bonnet she wore over her flaxen hair barely shielded her from its penetrating rays.
Seated near the garden she breathed in the pleasant saltiness of the ocean air as she threw herself in the Jane Austen novel she was reading. The young woman she’d met the year before in Bath had inspirational talent and Sadie held to the hope she could one day have the ability to write with such flourish, even if female authors were frowned upon.
“I’m feeling a bit chilled,” Alexis complained as she set down her copy of the same novel. Always a little more daring in her attire, her shoulders were almost completely exposed. She’d even had the gumption to pull her skirt up well past her knee.
Sadie should have been mortified by such a scandalous act, but Alexis had always had a penchant for shocking people. Alexis, at nineteen, was older than Sadie less than two years, yet she was the sister whom their parents fraught over constantly.
“Perhaps a shawl would do the trick.” Alexis stood and gazed out at the horizon. The ocean, with its ceaseless breeze, crashed on the beach below. “The cool air will only grow colder with the day.”
Alexis turned to head towards the manor, but the moment Sadie noticed the young, handsome man approaching them, she knew Alexis would not be going anywhere.
With the charm and eloquence of a young lady about to be presented in society, Alexis curtsied, smiled and did all she could to capture the young man’s interest.
“Terribly sorry to disturb you,” he said, his blues eyes twinkling behind the black wave of hair that fell over them. “But I seem to have lost my way.”
Alexis tossed her thick raven hair off her face and swayed her hips as she stepped closer to him. She was flushed, her smoldering dark eyes glittering with admiring excitement. “I’d be more than delighted to guide you to your destination, my kind sir.”
“I’m searching for Stoker Manor. I’ve some pressing matters to tend to with the Mayor in town and was told I could find a room to stay.”
A low rumble came from Alexis’ throat as she chuckled, keeping a seductive eye on the startling blue of his. “How fortunate. Your search has come to an end.”
Sadie watched her sister’s antics with a blend of disdain and awe. The young man was clearly one of the most physically-gifted men the two sisters have laid eyes on. He was finely dressed in a silk and wool tailored coat, a brocade vest, and white silk shirt that opened a tad more than most men’s shirts. His cream breeches filled out with muscular legs, legs that were used to physical exertion, but he held himself straight and tall, the posture of a noble-born. Sadie had never observed a man this closely, yet she could not take her eyes away from him.
“Splendid. I was indeed hoping I was at the right place.” His eyes bore through Alexis’ for an intense moment before he turned to greet Sadie. “This is even more enchanting than I’d imagined.”
About the Author
Kailin Gow is the bestselling author of over 40 books. As a teenager, she was a voracious reader, who always had one or two books with her at all times. A self-professed nerd, she even thought AP English and AP History was fun. She was on her newspaper staff, participated in drama productions, was on the yearbook staff, played sports, competed in kung fu, played violin, and yes, was even on the pep squad at one point.
Her books include the bestselling Gifted Girls Series, The Frost Series, The Phantom Diaries Series, The Stoker Sisters Series, PULSE Vampire Series, Queen B Superheroine, The Wordwick Games Series, The Alchemists Academy, Harold the Kung Fu Kid, and Shy Girls Social Club. Her books have been recommended by PBS Kids, the PTA, US Mental Health Association, homeschooling organizations, and mother-daughter book clubs.
She holds a Master's Degree Communications Management from USC's Annenberg School of Communication, and Bachelor’s Degrees in Drama and Social Ecology from UC Irvine. She is a mother, a mentor for young women, and the founder of the social group for teen and young adult girls called Shy Girls Social Club at where girls can develop positive friendships and skills in the creative field. Members of Shy Girls Social Club can get a chance to win prizes, scholarships, and internships.
You can find Shy Girls Social Club at:
http://www.shygirlssocialclub.com
Find Kailin Gow at:
http://www.kailingow.wordpress.com