by Alice Wade
It was of a flame circling a K. Quickly Tillian recalled that the K represented Kavanagh as his surname and reached out a tentative hand. As she touched it, she thought back to his nick name and turned to face him. “Why is it that you are called Flame Thrower? I see your brand here–also a flame?”
Ryan shrugged. “Another time, preferably with a fire,” he winked, “and a barrel of ale.”
Tillian laughed then patted the stallion. “I’ll hold you to that offer, for I’m curious because your name strikes fear in the hearts of our notable warriors back home. You don’t seem so terrifying to me.”
“Ah, I see I’ve you fooled. Let’s leave it that way, shall we?” He grinned at her in jest and received another heartwarming smile in return. She only seemed to smile for him and Ryan reveled in it.
They were interrupted when Wallace strode around the line of horses and patted the grey mount that swung its massive head in his direction. Wallace tentatively watched Tillian as he absently scratched the horse’s forelock. “Good morning, Princess, I’m glad you’re much improved this morning.”
Ryan wrapped his arm around her shoulder possessively and pulled her to his body. “Tillian, this is Wallace, my Captain and friend.”
Wallace bowed. When he stood back up he smiled. “My wife will be very pleased to make your acquaintance, Princess Tillian. She’s been dying to meet the woman who would steal King Ryan’s heart one day, and I think you’re the one.” He winked.
She turned to look up at Ryan and found him gazing down at her with the most endearing expression on his face that she couldn’t help but laugh. Ryan trusted this man. So should she. Tillian forced her terror back and turned back to the Captain. She didn’t give him a smile, but it was more than just a blank expression. “Well, I look forward to meeting her as well, Wallace,” Tillian added. Being that she was uncomfortable with this attention, she broke her connection with Ryan and started to step away.
She didn’t get far. He was behind her in moments and practically pinned her to the stallion’s side where she gripped the stirrup for support. “Ready?” he whispered just as she gulped down her reaction at his body pressing so close.
“Yes,” she barely said and felt his strong hands wrap around her waist and he lifted her easily up so she could swing her leg over the saddle. He’d placed her so she was sitting in the saddle and he’d ride pillion behind her. The massive creature sidestepped until she settled and then Ryan climbed up and got situated in the back.
“Are you sure you want to be back there?” She turned and found him smirking. “I can hold on just fine.”
He whispered, “Oh yes, this way, I can hold you quite close.” He tilted his blond head at her in question. “Are you comfortable?” he murmured in her ear while his stallion moved at some command Ryan gave using his legs and smoothly cantered comfortably down the dirt trail.
All around the field Ryan’s guards waited, holding their mounts in a line waiting for him to give the signal to move. At seeing his stallion take a step, his guards followed behind in a two by two formation. They all could see what was happening and allowed their liege privacy following at a respectable distance behind. They knew the area was for the most part safe.
Ryan possessively held her tight to his chest where his arms wrapped around her body, his large hands resting on her waist. He leaned into her ear to speak, and inhaled her earthy scent, exhaling slowly sending shivers down her neck. “You’ve bewitched me.”
Butterflies battled in her stomach from the combination of his arms and his words. She couldn’t speak for a moment. She didn’t want to discuss this or be tempted by the firm body that pinned her to his chest. She decided to change to a topic that was safe. “Your stallion has a very smooth gait for a beast this large.”
Ryan chuckled. “You can thank my friend, King Basil. He has a hobby of finding wild horses that he turns into the most incredible mounts. He sent this one to me as a gift years ago and I find I cherish this beast as one of my most favorite things.” His voice lowered to a seductively tone. “That was until I met you.”
She felt a slight blush creep across her cheeks, and accepted there was no avoiding this. Tillian leaned into his embrace and tilted her head backwards towards him, catching his heated stare from the corner of her eye. “Is that so? Your cooking better be damn good if you expect me to be convinced at staying longer than a month, King Ryan. I’m not that easily won.” She knew she lied. Her heart was already lost to this handsome man holding ever so close.
“My cooking is that good,” he replied and buried his face in her neck, kissing gently before he lifted his head. “You are going to be my death, I swear. If I don’t pay attention, I’m going to fall off my own horse.”
“Well, I don’t want that to happen. I’m looking forward to breakfast for a month straight.” Her light laughter warmed his heart and Tillian leaned further into his embrace. She found her rhythm to move with the stallion, rather than fight the motion, which also rolled in perfect motion with Ryan’s body as well. It awoke wild images of what it would be like to make love to him and her face burned brighter.
Ryan felt her moving in perfect measure, his own mind racing. It made him feel more playful, counting the moments until he could finally love her properly. “Only breakfast? I can cook dinner too!” he said in mock offense. “Does that count towards my payment?”
“I suppose,” Tillian agreed. She patted the stallion’s shoulder while they smoothly rolled down the road. The motion separated their bodies. She felt Ryan pull her back immediately and Tillian gave up. The stallion’s gait really was nice and rather soothing. She let her hips rock back and forth while her torso remained firmly pressed against Ryan.
Ryan admired her ability to ride. She’d obviously been trained and the fact she adjusted to his mount so quickly indicated she rode often. He’d need to find her a horse of her own eventually, but for now he enjoyed this shared experience. He gave into the moment wrapping his arms tighter and pinned her effectively against his chest. He enjoyed the way they moved in unison to the rolling canter giving his horse a little more rein. It was erotic and sensual, but he withstood the itch to kiss her again. For now, this was enough.
The feel of his arms brought back memories of last night, causing a smile to lift her lips. If this was any indication of how he’d make love to her, Tillian was in for a treat. She felt a fleeting fear from at that thought, but quickly recalled who was holding her. He wasn’t one of her abusers and she forced her mind to calm down. She pushed out the damaging thoughts, replacing them with lighter ones—ones filled with soft, loving touches. They rode this way for about a mile before he interrupted her thoughts with his velvety voice.
He slowed to a walk, leaning his head close to her ear. “While we ride, may I ask a few more questions as to how you came to be on my land?” He felt her stiffen immediately. “You know I’ll not judge you. I just need to know how men got onto my land and with them, a kidnapped Princess from a neighboring realm.”
She sat eerily quiet and held still while she worked through how much to tell him. Up to this point, he was kind and generous, but would he be still be so warm after hearing the truth of the situation? This was the moment she’d find out if her fears came true.
Ryan waited patiently for Tillian to relax. He felt her body coil tight beneath his arms and knew this wasn’t going to be easy for her. He didn’t relish the idea of pushing her, but she needed to get past this. He’d be patient and supporting, but he would push her just a little to start the process.
Tillian pulled away and leaned forward in the saddle. “I already told you, I don’t know how I got here. All I know is that I was in a carriage for the journey and then held in a stone cabin without windows afterward,” she snapped. “Not what you wanted to hear, was it?”
The fear in her voice wounded him. He’d brought that on and had ruined their peaceful ride. “I’m sorry this is upsetting you.” He reclaimed her body in his arms and pulled her back o
nce more before he continued. “I mean no disrespect; please hold no anger towards me at my next question.” He paused for a moment while he adjusted his seat. “How did you get away?” Ryan felt the violent flinch and again regretted his words.
“I don’t know how I got away. I don’t know anything!” She felt the tears well up before she could stop them and turned away in shame. She lied. She knew damn well they had tired of her and discarded her along the side of the road on their way home. The three men knew they couldn’t return her this used, so they just ‘threw her out’ so to speak. She hated having to lie to Ryan but she couldn’t handle it if he rejected her now, not after the kindness he’d shown her. She wasn’t ready to lose this yet.
“All right,” he said softly. “Maybe you’ll remember eventually.”
Through clenched teeth, she added, “I don’t want to remember anything,” Tillian nearly wept when she felt Ryan hug her to his chest and pressed his face in her hair. His warm breath from his sigh tickled along her skin, raising goosebumps over her entire body.
This conversation devastated him. “I’m sorry.” The sensual moment shattered and his compassion for her plight took over. He could tell she wasn’t ready to talk therefore decided to change tactics. He knew he pushed her down a dangerous path, but it was one she needed to travel. He also needed to see if he could break through and get her to be honest with him about what had really happened. He needed to hear her tell him what she thought she told her brother.
“When we get back and you are settled, I’ll send a note to King Irfan. I’m sure he’ll be overjoyed at your safe recovery.” Again, Ryan felt the sudden stiffness when she tensed in his arms. “I’ll send my fastest rider, but inform him you are too tired to make the journey too soon.”
She panicked. Her mind blanked out in a blinding white of fear. She didn’t want Ryan to send that note. “Can I ask that you hold off on dispatching that note?” Tillian turned slightly around to make eye contact with him, leveling him with a terrified yet determined look. What she encountered when she turned around shattered her resolve, for Ryan watched her with the most compassionate expression that begged her to tell the truth. It appeared he knew she lied and invited her to trust him. His warm brown eyes urged her to confess and she realized in that moment that after all he’d done for her, he deserved the truth. Even if it meant he then turned her away.
“Yes, but can I ask why you’d want me to wait?” He knew of course, but let her work out that he could be trusted and tell him herself.
Tillian closed her eyes and turned back around so she couldn’t see his face. “If you send a note, they will dispatch someone, most likely my brother Gareth, to collect me home. I’m not ready to go home just yet.” She rested her head back on his chest and continued. His heart raced and thudded against her back and she took comfort from it. “They will want to collect me because I wasn’t completely kidnapped, Ryan.” She felt his body stiffen. Tillian closed her eyes again and gripped the saddle before her. It was time for full disclosure. “That was just a cover up.”
Ryan stopped the horse with his legs causing the stallion to slide to a stop. “Say that again?” he growled dangerously. Even though he knew this already, hearing it from her lips had him frozen in a state of rage and he tried very hard not to overreact.
“I wasn’t truly kidnapped.” Tillian finally turned slightly to chance a look at his face and cringed at the anger that radiated from him. “My Father got carried away with gambling and lost a large sum of the crown’s gold. Three months ago, he was presented with an opportunity to replace some of the funds when a high ranking Lord came for an extended stay.”
“And?” Ryan surprised himself at how fast his anger rose. He needed to hear this, for both of them. He needed to learn so he could help her and figure out how to avenge her lost innocence. How anyone could bring harm to this gentle woman was beyond him.
“I caught the eye of the Lord and he struck a deal with my Father. An arrangement, if you will. I was a prize to be handed out and in exchange, he’d give my Father a healthy sum of coin to replenish the funds he’d lost.” Tillian hung her head. “I hated the idea, refused his advances at first and received these lashes as punishment from my Father.”
Ryan’s chest rumbled deeply and he shook with anger. He didn’t trust himself to speak therefore he remained silent. Having her talk in her sleep was one thing, but to see the shame reflected in her gorgeous eyes enraged him.
“The arrangement was supposed to be innocent; three men would have me for one night under the protection of guards and my brother. Something went wrong in this plan and Gareth was called away taking the guards with him. In their absence, these men took me, riding fast and hard until I was dizzy. I couldn’t tell which direction we even rode in and frankly, I was so terrified that I didn’t care.”
Ryan remained frozen and his magic welled up when he watched a tear slide down her cheek. “Why are you telling me this now?”
Tillian turned slightly to see him. “You deserve the truth. I’ve lied to you and you don’t deserve that.”
He snorted softly. “You don’t have to do this now if you don’t want to. We can wait until we return. My question was innocent and I didn’t know it would bring you distress.” He knew she needed to finish, for both of them.
She shook her head and continued. “I have to say this now or I won’t have the courage later. They used and ruined me, Ryan. I was forced to drink that awful drug and they ruined me.” Her voice broke at the end of that statement, causing her to close her eyes in shame.
He controlled his tone and asked, “Irfan made these arrangements?”
“Aye,” she choked. How her Father could do this to her, she would never understand. He was a cruel man, that wasn’t a hidden fact, but to whore his own daughter out was beyond her comprehension.
Ryan ground his teeth loudly before he asked in a very dangerous voice, “Who was this Lord?”
Tillian closed her eyes tighter and counted to three. “Please don’t make me say his name, please,” she begged.
“What is his name, Tillian?” Ryan was past compassion. His anger licked at the surface and he was dangerously close to losing control at any moment. He was too close to finding his target and he needed to know.
Knowing she had to finish this, she whispered, “Sir Akland.”
Ryan knew of this man, knew Irfan had raised him up to Lord and Knight two years back for some idiotic deed that Irfan deemed heroic. What Ryan knew was he was lecherous man with absolutely no morals, no honor. This was her tormentor. Another name to be added to the list of those to be punished and he’d savor every moment of retribution.
Suddenly Ryan launched himself off the rear of his horse and stalked away in anger. He shook his hands and rubbed them, trying to hold back the fire that surged to break free. Hearing the confession was too much for him and when he glanced back at her where she sat on his horse, the look of defeat radiated back. Small flames danced in his eye and luckily she as too far away to see.
This was it, she thought to herself. This was the rejection she feared. Ryan left but she had a choice-follow him or stay where she was. Tillian watched his strong back depart and she knew what her heart wanted her to do. Akland may have taken her innocence, but he was not going to take Ryan. Ignoring the terror that urged to her to run in the opposite direction, she dismounted and cautiously walked after him.
To call what she felt as terror was an understatement. Her eyes flowed tears she could no longer control, but she closed the distance regardless. “Ryan, please? Don’t walk away.” Tillian stumbled on a rock and nearly fell. She’d been so focused on his back that she hadn’t noticed her surroundings. Looking around quickly, she realized she had followed Ryan into a dry river bed, one that was wide and filled with small, dangerous rocks.
He caught her, though. She hadn’t fallen and his strong arms grabbed her to help correct her balance. The despair he read on her face set his anger off again and he whirle
d around in a blur. One minute he held her in his arms and the next gone twenty paces ahead.
“Ryan?” she pleaded.
His feet slowed, but he only turned his head in order for his words to carry. “You should stand back. I’m not in control at the moment and I don’t want to hurt you.” He felt his magic lick at his mind, burning its way to the surface. It was only a matter of time before it exploded. He had come here, to this river bed, because he knew the damage would be less.
“Hurt…me?” she stammered and slowed to a stop.
“I’m a mage, Tillian. One who is not in control of my magic at the moment.”
She stepped back. “Because of me. You are like this because of me?”
He spun around and closed the distance between them. He passionately clasped her face with both his searing hot hands, and then kissed her soundly on the lips. The abruptness of his contact caused Tillian to pull back but his insistently gentle lips teased hers open and he dipped his tongue into heated depths where he plundered her mouth until they both moaned in unison.
The touch instantly cooled his anger and the magic boiling within simmered down to a manageable level. She was his balm, his control. Tillian. Only Tillian. Ryan deepened the kiss, letting her lips soothe his anger and remind him she deserved more than his wrath. She deserved to be cherished.
His reaction overwhelmed her and his kiss...oh, the kiss. At first contact, the scorching heat almost burned her, but it faded. When he deepened the caress, she felt her insides melt. Not only with the feel of his tongue but also the taste of him, the smell of him and the feeling of his body against hers was just too much. Tears fell freely down her face while this man, this king, delivered the loving kiss filled with passion that she feared she’d lost. She felt her hope grow that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t rejecting her.
After a long moment, he pulled back but kept his lips touching hers for a moment longer. It was because of that contact that she felt him smile. His breathing was labored and his body trembled while he clutched her to his chest in a painful embrace.