by Ava Hayworth
“Um…” I don’t know how to respond to that.
“How much did you drink tonight?”
I can feel my defenses coming up. “Why? Do I seem drunk to you?” Jeesh, no one thinks I can handle my liquor.“No… never mind. I was just curious.” Standing up, James straightens his clothes.
I watch him, confused. “Aren’t you staying?”
“No, I need to go. This was a mistake.”
Mistake? What was a mistake his fucking me or our relationship? His abrupt behavior confuses me. “James what is happening here?”
“Listen Lainey, I’m sorry for running off like this. It’s late, and you need to get some rest. We can talk tomorrow.” With those parting words, he bends down and kisses me chastely on the cheek before heading out the door. I am left sitting in stunned silence.
After getting ready for bed, I grab my phone and listen to James’s messages.
“Lainey, it doesn’t look like I will be able to make it tonight. My meeting is running over. Let me know when you get home.” That was the message I had listened to earlier, but there are two more.
“Lainey, it’s getting late. Let me know when you are home so I don’t worry.”
“Babe, where are you? I’m coming over. We need to talk.”
We need to talk? Was he breaking up with me? Everything seemed fine last night, well I guess that was two nights ago now. Flopping back on the bed, I groan when I see the time on the clock. My mind replays our night out on Wednesday. James had taken me to the Gotham Bar and Grill like he had promised me the night he had rescued me from Bleu Ciel. I remember how we had talked about everything from political views to favorite movies. We had remarkably similar views. I cannot remember ever feeling such an affinity with someone else. The argument we had about playing tennis with his ex in the Hamptons had been the only glitch the entire evening. I had even been tempted to tell him my deepest, darkest secret, but the time hadn’t seemed right. Later, in his bed, I had continued to feel that sense of affinity. James had made passionate love to me seeming to sense exactly what I need to bring me the greatest pleasure. The memory of his firm, but gentle hands calms me down enough so that I can finally fall asleep.
CHAPTER 11
The sound of cutlery hitting plates and the rumble of voices in the background was like the surf breaking on the beach. The service at the Waldorf Astoria is impeccable. A waiter unobtrusively serves us some of the best food in New York City, but I barely taste it. I wonder that no one notices my forced laughs and smiles. I seem to have mastered the art of laughing at all the right moments even though my attention is elsewhere. Resolutely, I keep my eyes trained on Mills, who is telling some anecdote. My mind wanders to the events of last night. James’s behavior from the night before has me worried. Instead of things working themselves out today, they seem to have gotten worse. I didn’t hear from him this morning, and he arrived at the restaurant after me.
Only four of us were representing Houghton Mills today. Mills and I sat across the table from James and Elizabeth. Rothschild was at one end of the table and Lydia Banks sat at the other. What concerns me is that James will not look at me, and I am starting to worry that something is really wrong. I try to console myself that he is only doing what I asked and keeping our relationship private. My mind refuses to cooperate. It keeps reminding me of the previous two times when things had seemed to be going well, and how he had suddenly, and for no apparent reason, dropped me.
This cannot be happening again. Am I really so pathetic that I let him treat me this way over and over again? I am trying my best to withhold judgement when Elizabeth stands up to go to the ladies’ room. Escape. I make my excuses as well and join her. With half an ear I listen to Elizabeth’s chatter as we make our way to the back where the restrooms are located. My ears pick up on the name James, and I refocus my attention on her. Did she just say that James was at her place last night? The whole world seems to stop for a moment before starting again in slow motion. Pinning my eyes to Elizabeth’s lips, I half hear and half read her lips. “…if it weren’t for working at the same firm, we would have come out as a couple long ago. I am sure it isn’t a secret around the office anyway. I mean look at how much time we spend together. It’s rather obvious to everyone. Don’t you think?”
She finally stops to look at me for a response. Thankfully, we have reached the restrooms. I am able to manage a noncommittal “mm hm,” before scurrying into a stall. I stand there with my fists clenched as my mind races. Has he been with Elizabeth this whole time? Has he just been toying with me? My mind reels at the thought. I cannot lose it here, not in the middle of an important client lunch. Get a grip Lainey. Taking a few deep breaths, I exit the stall and call out to Elizabeth that I will meet her back at the table. I dart out the door not wanting her to catch up with me.
Once back at the table, I engage Lydia in a conversation. I don’t have to do much talking because Lydia is very interested in sharing her opinions about all the Rothschild interests. Now it seems James and I are both avoiding eye contact.
I am not sure how I make it through the rest of that interminable lunch, but I do. Back at the office I force myself to work refusing to think about Elizabeth and her comments. James will stop by, call me, or at least send me a text I tell myself, but there is nothing, radio silence. I refuse to try and contact him since he obviously does not want to see me. That thought hurts, and I am angry at myself for being so vulnerable. Didn’t I learn a long time ago that nothing good can come from opening myself up like this? Determinedly, I return to the work in front of me, anger and humiliation fueling me.
When I finish the brief I have been working on, I realize that it is late for a Friday. All the administrative staff has gone home for the day. The office is eerily quiet without the hustle and bustle of phones ringing and people gossiping around their desks. I know it is irrational, considering the strict building security, but I begin to question the safety of sitting in a deserted office. I clear off my desk and shut down my computer. Feeling chilled to the bone, I think about walking home. The summer heat would feel welcome after sitting in the chilly air conditioning all day.
As I turn the corner to the elevators, I see James striding towards me. He is talking on his cell phone and does not notice me at first. I see the exact moment when he looks up and sees me. There is an almost imperceptible pause in his speech as he comes to a stop in front of me. His eyes travel up and down my length, and I am happy that I am wearing one of my designer dresses. I realize that I have come to a stop too so I force myself to move on towards the elevators. Before I have even taken a step, James holds up his hand with his index finger extended. Seriously? Yep, he wants me to wait. I stand patiently as he takes a few seconds to wrap up his call. “Lainey.”
Apparently, he is speaking to me now. We hear the elevator doors open in the distance signaling that we may no longer be alone. James regards me silently, his expression giving nothing away. “Let’s go to your office.”
I nod my head in agreement. We walk back to my office in silence, and James closes and locks the door behind us. I walk over and set my bag down on my desk before turning back to James, who is running a hand distractedly through his hair. “Lainey…Jesus…I don’t know where to start.”
“Maybe you can start by telling me if you were at Elizabeth’s last night.” I watch as James’s eyes fly to my face.
“How did you know?”
I laugh bitterly. “So you don’t deny it?”
“No, I don’t deny it, but that is not the point.”
Not the point? Angrily, I cut him off. “What is the point then? Were you there before or after you came over and fucked me?”
His eyes narrow dangerously. “Watch it Lainey.”
“Or what?” I dare him recklessly.
I watch in horror as James turns around and punches the wall. Dumbfounded, I stare at him slack jawed as he turns back around and marches purposely towards me. Instinctively, I take a step back bumping i
nto the desk behind me, but my anger overrides my instinct for self-preservation, and I continue to press him. “Before or after James?
“Why does it fucking matter?” he bellows.
My voice rises to a shrill pitch. “You were fucking her this whole time weren’t you? Everything you told me was a lie… How could I be so stupid?”
James’s jaw is so tightly clenched I am surprised he can speak. In a low tone he asks, “Do you seriously believe that? Do you have so little faith in me?”
The look in his eyes makes my heart squeeze. Have I made a mistake? Now I feel on the defensive. “Elizabeth told me herself that you are together. What else am I supposed to believe?”
James leans in closer to me. “She fucking lied Lainey. That is what I came here to tell you. “
I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me, “She lied?” I stutter in confusion. “Wh…why would she do that? It makes no sense.”
James paces back in forth in front of me. “What exactly did she say to you?”
“She said that you two would be an official couple if it weren’t for the fact that you work for the same firm.”
“Jesus,” James runs his hand through his hair again. “I can’t believe she is telling people that. Lainey… think about it… I wanted everyone to know about our relationship. You are the one who wanted to keep it a secret.”
His words give me pause. He is right. I am the one who didn’t want anyone at the office to know about our relationship. “I still don’t understand why she is saying these things.”
“I don’t know… She is delusional.”
“You swear to me that there is nothing to it?” I can tell he is offended by my question.
“Yes, goddamit, there is absolutely nothing to it.”
I want to believe him, but there are still a few questions niggling at the back of my mind. Disregarding his irritation, I continue to interrogate him. “Why were you at her place last night?”
“After the client left the restaurant, she insisted she had something important to show me on her laptop. Something about a case we’ve been working on. I tried to tell her it was late, that I had plans, but she insisted. She only lives a block or two from the restaurant and I thought I could spare a few minutes. When we got to her apartment… well, let’s just say it became obvious that she hadn’t asked me up there for work. I came over last night to tell you about it, but… things went in a different direction.”
He gives me a sheepish look, but I ignore it. “You mean you got into a jealous rage over Davis and almost fucked me in the lobby of my building. You mean that direction?”
He shrugs. “Yes.”
“Why were you ignoring me today?”
“Is that what you think? Baby, I wasn’t ignoring you. I am just trying to get a handle on this situation. I work with Elizabeth… a lot. At lunch I was trying to keep my distance and not give her any false signals. I didn’t think… I wasn’t thinking about how my behavior might affect you.” He trails off for a moment before continuing. “I also spent all morning and part of this afternoon trying to finesse my way out of the work I have with Elizabeth. Not to mention that I have been lining up some representation outside the firm. She has obviously become unglued if she is going around telling people that we are together, and I don’t want to be left standing there with my dick in my hand. I am getting representation and documenting all her crazy shit.”
That all sounds like an excellent idea, and I am glad he has thought of it. I still had one last question before I could let it go. “What about all the gossip about you and Elizabeth at the firm holiday party?”
For a second James looks confused. Then a look of resignation falls over his face. “You mean the kiss…”
“Yes, the kiss.”
James sighs. “She kissed me, and at the time I chalked it up to too much to drink, but now looking back on it, I think she was coming on to me.” The shock I feel must be apparent in my eyes because James quickly continues, “I didn’t encourage her, but I didn’t exactly throw her off of me either. Look, this is someone I work with every day. I felt I had to be sensitive to her feelings… and of course, someone walks in on us, misinterprets the whole thing, and we become the talk of the office. At least until the next big scandal came along.”
“Believe me, it is still the talk of the office.”
James groans and I almost feel sorry for him. Almost. “Poor baby,” I say in mock sympathy, “Women just can’t keep their hands off of you, can they?”
Growling at me, James moves so that his body is pressing hard against mine. I put my palm out flat on his chest and push back. “Don’t come any closer. I am still mad at you.”
James ignores me and bends his mouth down to nibble along my neck before he whispers in my ear. “And you are one of those women, aren’t you?”
My spine stiffens. Does he think that I cannot resist him? I will show him a thing or two. “James, I refuse to let you run roughshod over me.”
“You want it rough? You know I like it when you fight me.”
How does he turn everything into something about sex?
“What have you got on under that dress? I wondered about it all through lunch. It is the only thing that kept me sane.” His warm breath against my ear sends shivers down my spine.
I feel myself softening as a warm rush of desire washes over me. He runs his nose along my jaw and pulls my earlobe between his teeth. “You smell so good.” His hands tug at the skirt of my dress pushing it up over my thighs. It inches up slowly and his fingers trail its wake. The combination of his touch and his words wreak havoc with my senses.
I exhale an unsteady breath. “You are a dirty, dirty man, and I will remind you that we are in a place of business.”
That actually seems to stop him. Although I know I should be glad, I can’t help feeling frustrated. James tilts his forehead down so that it is resting against mine, and we stand like that for a few moments. “More office drama is something I definitely do not need. Are you packed? “
“No, after last night, I figured the Hamptons was off.”
“Oh no, baby, you and I are getting out of the city. We can swing by your apartment on our way out of town.”
“Why did you take off like that last night?”
James rakes his fingers through his already mussed hair. “Because I fucked up. I let things get out of hand instead of telling you about the situation with Elizabeth.”
“You’re right. You should have told me about Elizabeth last night, but you can let things get out of hand like that anytime.”
The hot look that enters James’s eyes makes my breath hitch. “I’d like to bend you over that desk right now and work you over until you scream for mercy.” James pins me to the spot with his intense stare and dirty talk. “The only thing stopping me is the fact that we are at the office where I don’t need any more drama, and the fact that I can have you all night long. Let’s go.”
In response, I gather up my bag and brush past him on my way to the door. James growls, “Watch it Lainey. I am hanging on by a thread.” Delight dances through me at his reaction and the thought of the weekend to come.
CHAPTER 12
The Long Island Expressway in congested as we drive back to the city, but James seems to take it in stride. I sit relaxed beside him. Two days of sitting in the sun had done a lot to restore my equilibrium. I was not looking forward to returning to the office and the drama from last week with Elizabeth. Thinking of Elizabeth, I glance over at James. I hesitate to bring her up since, by some sort of silent mutual agreement, we have not talked about her once over the last two days. My curiosity gets the better of me. I reach out to turn down the music before turning towards James. “How exactly did Elizabeth come on to you on Thursday night?” James seems to stiffen, and I don’t know if it is at the mention of Elizabeth, my question or both.
James meets my eyes briefly before returning his eyes to the road in front of him. “Do you really want to know?�
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Is it that bad? I wonder if I would be better off not knowing. “Yes. Tell me.”
Sending me another brief look, James sighs resignedly. “When we got up to her apartment, she left me in her living room. I thought to go get her laptop. After a few minutes, she came back in wearing…” James glances at me again. I regard him patiently, waiting for him to finish. “Wearing a negligée that left very little to the imagination.”
I try to reign in my reaction. Elizabeth must be pretty desperate, if what James says is true, and he never encouraged her. God, I hope I am never that desperate to have a man. “So what did you do?”
James looks at me with a shocked expression and answers me in rising agitation. “What do you mean what did I do? I got the hell out of there of course.”
“Well, that must have been awkward.” I struggle to hold back a smile as I imagine Elizabeth trying to get her claws into James and his horrified reaction. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall.
“Yes, well…” He shifts uncomfortably in his seat.
Thinking back, I realize that he must have been a bit traumatized by the incident. That must have been why he had left me that harried sounding voicemail. It had sounded so ominous when I had listened to it later that night.
My phone rings and I see that it is Mark. After our lunch on Thursday, I don’t want him to think I am giving him the cold shoulder so I accept the call. “Hey.”
“You answered.”
I laugh at the amazement I hear in his voice. “I promised I would.”
After a slight pause Mark admits, “I didn’t really expect you to answer.”
“If you are going to make the effort to make this new relationship work, then I will too.”
“I think I like this new state of things.”
“Me too.”
“What are you doing?”
“I’m driving back to the city with James.”
There is a momentary pause before he asks, “Did you have a nice weekend?”
I send a sidelong glance towards James who is looking sexy as hell behind the steering wheel. “Yes, it was relaxing. How was your weekend?”