by K L Finalley
"Used to know? That's not how she explains it."
"You know, it's fucking weird that you're slumming around in my leftovers." Rage had filled Jacqueline's eyes. She wanted to scream, yell, and fight. She was desperately trying to hold onto herself, but she felt herself drowning. From the corner of her eye, she saw her lifeboat walking toward. She chuckled a bit and said, "Where's Waldo?" and he appeared.
"Hey, Clementine, I think your date has had enough of chit-chatting with Brett. You might want to go save her." Clementine turned to walk away. "We're gonna catch up with you in a second." After she left them, he said, "Drink some of this." He handed her beer to her. "Okay, let's simmer down. She's just a troublemaker."
"You have no idea."
"Yeah, I do," he said and drank some of his own beer. "You forget how great of friends we've been. We've drank all night. We've played pool together. Hell, when we were young and still working together, I used to have to pick you up for events. Sometimes, we met at your place. Sometimes, I met you at other people's places. Before we got where we were going, you'd tell me more details than I sometimes wanted to know."
Jacqueline's eyes met his. She opened her mouth to speak, but she wasn't sure what to say.
"Yeah, I remember Tabs," he said in a low voice.
She nodded her head. "Clementine seems to think that I've lost my way and it's her job to remind me."
"Well, I figured it was some shit. I saw you over here in the back corner. You were inches from her face. I had a fear that the old Jacqueline might just make an appearance."
"She wanted to," Jacqueline admitted as she finished her beer.
"She shouldn't. The new Elet and the new Jacqueline are gonna stand over here and get it together. Then, we are gonna walk back over there. I don't think Tabs has any part in this plan. She hasn't said anything about knowing you and she stares at me like she kinda remembers me. But, she hasn't said anything outta line."
Jacqueline said, "This has to end."
"Yep, it does."
"How?" She asked.
"I got no idea, but beating her ass at a Halloween party while dressed as Fred Flintstone is a bad idea." Jacqueline snickered. "Now, get over there. Hold your shit together. Let me go inside and get us something stronger." The two walked across the yard. Jacqueline walked up and put her hand on Brett's back.
"Welcome back. I was just telling them about my deck build."
"Oh, I don't think I know the entire story." Jacqueline said as she pulled up a chair.
~~~~~~~~
As Elet entered the house, the women swarmed on him.
"Elet, what the hell is going on out there?" Mallory asked. Her arms were folded.
"Nothing. Clementine came out with her date. Brett is talking about the deck build. Just chit-chatting."
Paige face palmed herself, "Not the deck build."
"Elet, you're such a liar. We saw Jacqueline and Clementine at the back of the yard. You better tell us what's going on," Mallory pressed.
"Why are you guys stalking us? Weirdos." Elet said as he opened the bottle of whiskey.
Olive entered the conversation, "From in here, it looks like something might be going on between Jacqueline and Clementine. Mallory's worried sick. You should tell her what you know."
Elet stopped pouring. He placed the bottle on the table. He said, "Mallory, look outside." He pointed. "She's sitting in the backyard next to Brett with Jarrett in her lap. Zoe and Abbie are running back and forth to her. Does she really look like she has eyes for Clementine? Does she?" With tears filling her eyes, Mallory shook her head. "Look, I know how it might look. But, you've gotta trust me. Clementine's just a troublemaker. Jacqueline took her in the corner to tell her to chill out with the kids around. I promise you. I have known her longer than any of you. She doesn't want Clementine. I swear." After she nodded, he finished making their drinks. Mallory, Olive, and Jo left the kitchen. Standing there cleaning up his mess, he asked Alex, "Is she okay?"
"I think she's just nervous. You know Jacqueline is hard to get to know."
"I dunno. I think she's pretty open with Mallory. I think that Mallory gets caught up in all the shit she sees."
"What do you think is going on?"
"Me? I think Clementine is fucking nuts."
"Does Jacqueline want her?"
"Hell no, but I think she wants to fight her."
"What are you gonna do?"
"Babe, what can I do? All I can do is talk Jacqueline down from getting into it with her in a backyard full of kids on Halloween."
"Hmm, maybe, this needs a little bit of Alex."
Picking up the glasses to leave the room, he said, "Doesn't everything?" He kissed her on the cheek and returned outside.
As Alex returned to the rest of the women, she was carrying a margarita. She tapped the top of Mallory's head. "Here, drink this."
Nodding in Elet's direction, Olive asked, "What'd he say?"
"Nothing new. That this Clementine is just a troublemaker. There's nothing between her and Jacqueline, but Jacqueline is trying to keep her cool for work and the kids and blah blah this and blah blah that."
"Fuck that," Olive bellowed.
Alex, who had been staring into the backyard while speaking to them finally made eye contact, "Don't worry. I've got this." And, she headed out of the house.
As Mallory rose from the couch, Jo interfered, "Let her go. She's the original troublemaker. She can't have two in Jacqueline's life. She'll take care of her."
~~~~~~~~
It was chilly outside when Alex emerged from the house, but she was boiling on the inside. As she approached the adults, Elet saw her, "Hey, baby. Have you come to join the cool kids?"
"Hi, honey," she said with a fake smile in her voice. She walked behind Clementine's chair and tapped her on her shoulder, "Hi, I'm Alex. I don't think we've met."
Clementine whirled around in her chair to look up at Alex who stood over her in a genie costume, "No, we haven't, gorgeous, but we definitely should."
Looking at Tabatha, Alex said, "May I borrow her for a moment? I promise to bring her right back." Tabatha nodded with indifference. Alex tapped Clementine again and said, "Come with me." As Clementine rose from her seat in the backyard, Alex led her through the back gate to the side of the house. Once there, she closed the gate behind her.
"Wanted me all to yourself?" Clementine teased.
"As a matter of fact, I did. I didn't want to talk to you in front of everyone else."
"Oh, don't worry. Tabatha and I aren't serious."
"And, I can see why. You strike as the kinda person who says things to get attention. I wanted you over here to see if I could get some piece of truth out of you."
"Anything," Clementine continued to flirt.
"Drop the act. I wanna know what you want with Jacqueline."
"What?"
"You heard me."
Clementine laughed, "Are you her muscle?"
"No, she is usually her own muscle. But, I wanna know what you're up to." Clementine leaned against the side of the house. She pulled out a cigarette from inside her top. Before she could light it, Alex pulled it form her hand, crumbled it, and threw it into the yard, "Uh, no. We don't do that. Now, answer me. What do you want?"
"I don't want anything."
"Why keep fucking with her, then? Why say dumb things? Why try to cause trouble?"
"I'm not causing trouble. You guys are causing trouble. Do you think this is who she is?" Clementine pointed in a semi-circle. "This shit. Sitting in a backyard making s'mores and shit."
"Howdah hell would you know who she is? You just met."
"I know more about her than you ever could."
"Lemme guess because you're gay."
She leaned into Alex's face, "Baby, you have no idea who she is or who she's done or what's she's told them."
"Do you honestly believe your own bullshit? Do you really think in all the years that we've been friends I've never been to Livewire? Do you t
hink we haven't helped her pick up women, sat at tables when she did, or waited until she got back with them? You're full of shit. You came here with some ho bartender like she was gonna be like oh thanks for reminding of that piece of ass. Let's go party. I mean, really. This was your plan. How was it gonna play out? In your dream, did she push the fucking kids to the ground, cuss out Mallory, leave with you and all your fuckin' pleather? You and her and that ho were gonna high-five in the driveway. Come on. You've gotta have a better plan than that." Alex began to laugh.
Angrily, Clementine said, "You don't know what it's like."
"You're right. I don't know what it's like to not have any friends and to try too hard to get them. The funny thing is Jacqueline doesn't either. She has friends. She wasn't at Livewire alone searching for any. We were all there with her. Me. Silas. Elet. Even Paige. We went to the gay club with our friend when she wanted to go. We're friends. She's not a crazy ass loner that had to go there by herself, because she didn't belong anywhere. She belongs with us. And, we already know everything she's done and everyone's done. I know what she said to them drunk and sober. Most of it was just shit you say and don't mean. But, you don't know that, do you little Clementine? You don't know shit about that."
Angry now, Clementine clamored, "Fuck you, you fucking bitch."
As she howled her wrath, Elet opened the gate. "It's okay, honey," Alex said and held up her hand to stop him from coming further. "She's ain't no troublemaker. She's just what's left of a lonely little girl who never fit in. She came to the city and went to a bar. She name-dropped until a bigger name got dropped. And, now, she just wants to buddy up to that name, so people'll like her." Elet said nothing. He just stared at Alex who was staring at Clementine. He held his hand out for Alex who walked around Clementine to get to him. Once she reached him, he took a hold of her hand and led her back into the backyard.
When they returned without Clementine, Tabatha looked in the direction of the side of the house. Alex said, "You might wanna go get her. I think she's feeling a little under the weather." As Tabatha sprang from her chair to see what had happened, Alex went back inside. While making herself a glass of ginger ale, she heard a car start.
Chapter 13
At lunchtime on Wednesday, Jacqueline tidied her office. She had filed all confidential documents and returned personnel folders that were in her office back to Human Resources. She cleaned her desktop including her keyboard and monitor. She placed the out of office alert on her email and phone. She had done more for these few days of absence than she had done when she had taken weeks off. After all was done, she placed her left hand under her glasses and rubbed her eye. This plan was no longer a good plan. She had decided to order an expensive gift for her friends without her girlfriend's input. She could admit that was a bad idea. The matter was compounded when days later she discovered that it could not be delivered to Tampa, Atlanta, or Miami. That the arch would be delivered to Baltimore and she would need to retrieve it. While she had intended to ensure a wonderful gift for the wedding of her closest friends, she discovered that this had stressed her relationship with Mallory. They had avoided talking about it. They had avoided talking to anyone who talked about it. Last night, as she tucked Zoe into bed, she told her repeatedly that she would be back in a few days. While she wasn't certain why Zoe was so unnerved, she hated to see her so anxious. Jacqueline had tried to mention it to Mallory, but, as she had for weeks, Mallory avoided the conversation. Now, here she was in the office, minutes before she was supposed to leave and she had a feeling of dread. She pushed away from her desk and walked to the glass wall that overlooked the news floor. Panning the room, she looked out over the sea of faces until she found Mallory's face. Mallory was looking back at her. Jacqueline motioned for her to come up. Sensing that there may be an emotional exchange, Jacqueline went to activate the blinds; but, before they could completely shut, she saw Mallory wipe the tears from her eyes. Another pang of pain struck.
"Hi," Mallory said softly as she opened the door.
"Hi," Jacqueline said. Her head was cocked to the side. She stared at Mallory wondering what she might be thinking. Hoping that her words would bring comfort, if that is what Mallory needed. "I know that I should have talked this over with you. I know that. And, I promise that we will discuss any large purchases from here on out. I promise. But, I gotta go, so I can hurry back."
"I know."
Jacqueline crouched in front of Mallory, "I'm sorry."
"I know."
She rested her head in her lap. She was comforted by the feeling of Mallory's nails running through her hair, "Say something else."
"Is there anything you want me to do while you're away?"
"Be here when I get back."
"I'm not the one..."
"Don't make it seem like I'm going to Daytona on Spring Break. I'm driving with Elet in his pick-up to Baltimore. We're gonna sleep in Myrtle Beach, then we're on to Baltimore. We will sleep in Baltimore, then head home. That's it. That's the whole trip."
"I know."
Jacqueline lifted her head. She had tried to be apologetic. She had tried to be reassuring, but she was starting to be irritated, "Stop with the 'I knows.'"
"Tell me what you want me to say."
Jacqueline sat on the floor between the chair Mallory was sitting in and her desk, "Whatever you want to say."
"I don't think you really want that."
Tired of playing the game, Jacqueline replied, "I guess I don't, but I want you to know that I'll see you this weekend. And, I'll make it up to you and Zoe. And, I love you." Jacqueline leaned forward to kiss her, but Mallory pulled away. Dejected, she wiped her hand across the lower portion of her face. "Okay, will you walk me outside?"
"Of course."
Jacqueline placed the messenger bag on her shoulder. She held the door open for Mallory. While waiting on the elevator, she told Grant to have a good weekend and call her if he needed her. Standing in the elevator, she wanted to hold Mallory in her arms. She wanted to let her scream or cry or whatever might lessen the cramps of guilt she felt. Instead, she stared at the back of her head as Mallory stood on the opposite side of the elevator and ran her fingers across the filigree. Upon arrival onto the news floor, Jacqueline directed Mallory to the elevators at the back of the floor. She wanted to forgo all the conversations that were certain to erupt if they transversed the news floor. They were alone inside the elevator, but Mallory was not standing close. Jacqueline walked near her and placed her arm around her. Mallory shook her arm off.
"Honey, we said that we weren't going to do this at work."
"I know, but I'm leaving and you're upset and I just want to hold you."
The doors opened as Mallory replied, "And I want you, too."
Jacqueline sighed as Mallory snaked through the people huddled in the lobby. With her head down, she followed her lead out of the building. Standing outside, Jacqueline thought that Mallory might stop and let her hug her. But, she hadn't. Jacqueline continued walking behind her. Downstairs, past raised flower beds, down the sidewalk, around the corner out of the sun's light, the two walked. Standing at the entrance to the parking garage, Mallory stopped. Jacqueline approached her and noticed her hand was outstretched. She slipped her hand into Mallory's and they walked to the Laredo. Once there, Jacqueline opened the passenger's door and Mallory slipped inside.
"I feel like a high school kid who just took you to the parking lot to score."
"Tell me that you never did that."
Haltingly, Jacqueline lied and said, "I never did that."
"You're so gross."
"Yeah, but you love me."
"I do. Do you love me?"
Jacqueline walked closer to her. She threw her bag into the backseat and lifted Mallory's face to face hers. She kissed her gently tasting her salty dried tears on her lips. "Of course, I do." Then, she held her close. Mallory rested her head on her shoulder and quietly cried. "I'll see you this weekend. We'll talk a bunch."
/> "I know."
"Here we go, again." Mallory laughed. Pleased that she got a laugh, she went on, "Are you sure that you don't want to go?"
"I can't. You know that."
"Would you if you could?"
Dabbing the corners of her eyes, she teased, "Hell no. I want you to take me somewhere nice on vacation, not Baltimore by way of Elet's truck." They both laughed. Mallory stood up. "I'm gonna go cry to Paige. You get going, so you can get back here. Be safe. I love you." Standing in the parking garage as other employees left for lunch, Jacqueline pulled her close and kissed her for a long time. Then, she stood there with Mallory in her arms. "If I don't go, I'll never let you leave."
"You know, I'm not shipping off to war. It's Baltimore. You could fly there in a few hours."
"Yeah, we don't all have money to just fly to Baltimore whenever we want."
"Maybe, they don't, but you could."
"Oh, okay," Mallory said dismissively. She pecked Jacqueline's lips once more and said, "Go."
And, Jacqueline complied. The Laredo growled to life and she headed out the garage to Elet's house. Her eyes felt misty. Her throat filled with emotion. She wasn't sure why she felt as strongly as she did. In truth, she was overwhelmed. Racing from her feelings as much as through traffic, she placed her foot upon the pedal and dashed to Elet's house. With the music blaring, she was there in minutes. She pulled the Laredo to the far side of his driveway.
He was sitting on the front porch. In a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, he was dressed as though they were headed out on a boat, but he asked, "What are you wearing?"
"I just came from work."
As he headed off the porch, he said, "Well, I know that. Why didn't you change?"
"I don't know. I figured that I'd just wear this since I was just riding. I can change when we check into the hotel."
He threw the keys to her. "You're driving. I'm riding."
Picking the keys up off the ground, she unlocked the doors for him to get into the truck. Barefooted, he climbed into the passenger's seat and reclined the seat back. She laughed to herself as she gathered her bags from the Laredo. She placed two bags in the back seat. As she climbed into the driver's seat, she slid another package into the glove compartment.