The Reluctant Wag

by Mary Costello

  ‘You heard me,’ his mother shot back. ‘You’re making a fool of yourself with this stupid attitude about footy coming first. Your father says he tried to talk to you, but men are so stupid about these things. And your father always goes the long way round. Now listen to me: you need that girl in your life, and you need her now, Cal; not after September – now!’

  ‘Mum —’

  ‘You love her, don’t you?’

  No point holding back the truth from the feral mother. ‘Yeah. I . . . yes, I do.’

  ‘Right. Good. And how does she feel about you?’

  ‘I don’t know. I mean, I’m not sure. Sometimes I think she hates me.’

  ‘That’s claptrap!’

  ‘Then other times I think maybe she feels the same way. I mean, I think she’s attracted to me, and at times we get on really well, but —’

  ‘Of course she’s attracted to you. She’d be an idiot not to be crazy about you. You’re the sweetest, most thoughtful, handsomest boy, and any girl would fall for you.’

  He couldn’t help but see the funny side of it. ‘But you’re a tad biased, Mum.’

  ‘I’m still a woman, and I’m not stupid, and I’m not blind. Now get the game over tomorrow and then go straight away to see that lovely girl. She’d be perfect for you.’

  ‘Would she?’

  ‘Yes, and I want grandchildren; and I don’t want to wait until you’re thirty-five.’ She banged down the phone and Cal was left sitting up in bed, staring stunned into the dark.

  Merise was oddly nervous before the game, even with Erica by her side for company, and felt positively alarmed when she saw that their seats were right in the middle of the front row.

  ‘Get lost in the crowd, eh?’ she hissed sarcastically as they made their way down the steps towards the front.

  ‘No one cares,’ Erica said happily. ‘They’re just here for the footy.’

  As Cal led the team out onto the ground and ran through the banner to the roar of the crowd, he got that familiar feeling of excitement he always felt just before a game. He had a last word with a couple of the younger players to steady them, then turned around to see Tom Rivers staring fixedly into the distance.

  ‘Come on, mate,’ Cal jostled him good-humouredly. ‘Get into it. This is a big game.’

  ‘Look,’ was all Tom said in response, and Cal followed his gaze and saw Merise sitting prominently on the wing. In an instant his heart lifted, as if a massive burden had been taken off him. It was something about the way she was sitting there in full view, not hiding away, but showing her beautiful face. She’d come to see him play. He just sensed it, somehow. It wasn’t to do with SMO or the publicity or anything else. It was just between them. ‘Come on,’ Cal said, beginning to jog, ‘let’s get a bit closer.’

  As they headed towards the boundary his mind seemed clearer with every step. He’d been an idiot! He couldn’t pencil her in his diary for the end of the season. He couldn’t organise his heart, he couldn’t postpone his feelings, and more importantly, he couldn’t play with hers. She deserved better. Sure, it would be hard; but he was used to challenges, and Merise was nothing if not a challenge. But he couldn’t push her, and he couldn’t corner her. She’d hate that. He’d have to handle her gently. He’d have to let her come to him; and maybe, by being here today, that’s exactly what she was doing.

  On the other side of the vast ground Erica tracked the pair as they approached while Merise rummaged in her bag for the little radio she took to the footy to hear the commentary. For her it was a way of learning about the finer points of the game.

  ‘Mer, don’t look now,’ said Erica out of the corner of her mouth, ‘but guess who’s heading our way. I think he saw you.’

  ‘Did he?’ asked Merise, flustered, and she pretended to be busy tuning her radio.

  ‘Yeah. Almost certain. Yep, here he comes, right this way.’

  The men were now at about the middle of the ground. ‘It’s her all right, isn’t?’ said Tom.

  ‘Yeah, it’s her,’ Cal said, and Tom immediately detected the thrill in his voice and felt a sudden relief. He sensed Cal’s spirits lifting, and that could only be good. ‘Hey, who’s that babe beside her?’ he asked.

  ‘Her friend.’

  ‘What’s her name?’

  ‘I’m not sure. Elaine or Lisa or something.’

  ‘Okay, mate; just don’t leave here until you introduce me, right?’

  Cal looked at him and a smile spread across his face. ‘Chancer,’ he said, ‘but okay. After the game.’

  ‘Right,’ Tom thumped him affectionately on the back, ‘it’s a date.’

  At that moment the siren sounded and Cal made his way to the centre square for the coin-toss.

  ‘Wow!’ breathed Erica.

  ‘What?’ Merise still hadn’t dared look up.

  ‘He’s with this gorgeous man with black wavy hair and a really handsome face. Gosh! He’s a bit like Mr Darcy. Who is he?’

  Merise glanced up for a second and was relieved to see Cal running with his back to them.

  ‘Him,’ said Erica, pointing, ‘with the huge brown arms. Be still my heart!’

  ‘That’s Tom Rivers. He’s a real sweetie. Not a bit like Cal.’

  ‘Sweet as well? And to think I wasn’t interested in the Wolves! This is going to be the best game ever,’ crowed Erica. ‘You watch Cal and I’ll watch Mr Curly-Top.’

  The Wolves took the ball away at the first bounce, fed it out to Tom, who kicked it directly to Cal, who turned, ran and kicked straight for goal. The Yarraside crowd was on its feet in an instant. It was the statement they wanted from their captain and they were exuberant. ‘Seventeen seconds and bang!’ someone behind them yelled out for pure joy and Merise felt ridiculously happy.

  The Wolves played a thrilling first half and were forty-seven points up at half-time. Cal made sure he was close to Merise at the moment the siren sounded. As the Wolves crowd rose to applaud their players, Cal ran past close to the boundary line, looked straight at Merise and blew a kiss. The crowd erupted with delight as the gesture was flashed on the big screen and Merise, unable to help herself, burst into laughter.

  As the players left the field, Erica squeezed Merise’s arm with excitement and whispered, ‘You see? Told you! He fancies you like mad.’ And she went off to get two cups of coffee while Merise donned her sunglasses and hat, sank into her seat and prayed that people would stop casting conspiratorial grins in her direction.

  When he blew that kiss – in front of eighty-five thousand people, and about two and a half million TV viewers – what was he thinking? What did it mean? Was it just showmanship? Was he just excited because he’d played out of his skin for the first time in weeks? Or had he actually intended to blow the kiss to the barrackers en masse? No, it couldn’t be that: he’d been looking straight at her at the time. And hadn’t she – she went red at the memory of it – hadn’t she leant forward and smiled right back into his eyes? Had she exposed her true feelings for everyone to see? Had he? And would she find out after the game? She couldn’t bear to wait, while another part of her never wanted this game to end.

  It was deep into the final quarter and the Wolves were up by ninety-three points. Cal had played brilliantly. Merise was still listening to the radio through her earphones as she watched, and she rejoiced in the positive things being said about him. ‘McCoy’s been an inspiration to the Wolves today. Prolific in the midfield, and very dangerous in front of goal. He’s back to his damaging best.’

  It was only ten minutes from the final siren and Cal was right in front of her when it happened. A Wolves player had bombed the ball high towards the boundary line when Cal went up to mark it, leaping high off the ground, his hands stretched out well above his head. At the same second, an opposition defender rose off the ground right next to him, also intent on grabbing the ball. As they leapt, their big bodies collided hard in midair and they both fell heavily to the ground. Merise and Erica looked on in dismay as t
he other player, who had landed on top of Cal, now gingerly got to his feet, clearly dazed. But Cal didn’t move. He was lying out cold. For a few stunned seconds there was a deathly silence in the great arena as the crowd saw Cal’s prone figure on the giant screens. Then all at once the boundary umpire was signalling for help, players were running to the spot and behind them a phalanx of club officials and medical staff. After one look at Cal’s still-white face and the blood on the arena’s concrete edging, the doctor yelled, ‘He’s hit his head on the concrete. Get an ambulance – now!’

  Somehow, a split second later, Merise had clamped her hands on the boundary fence and had started to heave herself up and over it. She wasn’t thinking; it was an automatic reaction. She had to get to Cal. She had to be with him. He was so close – if she could just . . . But Erica grabbed her and pulled her back.

  ‘Merise! Stop! You can’t invade the pitch. You’ll get fined!’

  ‘But . . .’ Out of the corner of her eye she saw, but didn’t really register, her own face on the big screen nearby. She only whimpered, ‘Erica, I’ve got to go to him.’

  ‘There’s nothing you can do, Merise. The doctors are with him. Look – there’s the cart coming for him now. They’ll take him down to the rooms.’

  She didn’t wait. She pushed past Erica, stumbled into the aisle, raced up the steps and turned in the direction of the players’ rooms. As she flew through the cold, concrete concourses that ringed the huge seating area, time seemed to slow and the distances she had to cover seemed to stretch interminably. All she could think about was how she would feel if Cal wasn’t in her life – if she never saw him again. She knew now, she understood with perfect clarity that she wanted him, she needed him; and that without him, her life would be bleak and barren. At that moment she didn’t care about her writing or her future career – none of that would compensate for his absence; and she didn’t just want to be another fan watching him on TV, or from the stands once a week. She wanted to be with him, close to him all the time – she wanted to be part of him, just as surely as he was already part of her.

  She didn’t notice Erica on her heels, or the cameramen following her, didn’t pay attention to the club official who was calling her name, and didn’t hear the MCG security man protest when she breached the sanctity of the rooms during the game. Cal was hurt, seriously hurt, and she just had to get to him – now.

  By the time she got there he was already in the rooms. He was lying on the stretcher table, surrounded by doctors and physios. The club president was rushing in from the other entrance. A dozen people stood around in hushed silence, their faces tense, waiting.

  Merise saw no one, heard nothing, except the panting of her own breath as she pushed her way through to Cal. Those around him looked up in surprise, but no one said anything. Time stood still as she looked down at his face – white and immobile and completely changed. She’d never seen him look so young or vulnerable. On an impulse she took the hand that was dangling off the table, raised it to her heart, leant towards him and whispered, ‘Cal. It’s me, Merise.’

  ‘Please, miss!’ someone said sharply. ‘Stand back. Give him air.’

  Ashamed, and suddenly realising how outrageous her behaviour must seem to all these club people, she dropped his hand, stood back and turned away to hide the tears filling her eyes. But as she did so a familiar voice – but more feeble than usual – croaked, ‘What’s the score?’

  She turned as everyone present gasped with relief, and saw that his eyes were open. She rushed back to his side, threw herself across his chest, tenderly laid a hand on his cheek and her lips close to his ear she said, ‘The score? You idiot! The score is – I love you.’

  He looked up at her, still dazed, then gave a little smile. ‘I know.’

  ‘You know?’

  ‘Yeah,’ he said, his voice wavering.

  She wondered if he was compos mentis. But just then the doctor eased her off to one side. ‘Excuse me, please. I really need to examine him, miss.’

  Still dazed, Cal looked up at the doctor. ‘Did we win?’

  ‘Got a few minutes to go, but we’re home okay. They won’t come back now. Now please lie back, Cal – you’re probably concussed. You’ll need to take it easy if you want to play next week.’

  Cal closed his eyes again and sank back down.

  ‘Is he all right?’ Merise asked, alarm rising again.

  ‘He will be.’

  ‘Is . . . he . . . in his right mind? I mean, is he delirious?’ she whispered. But Cal heard. His head was beginning to clear.

  ‘I’m fine,’ he protested, ‘and I knew you loved me before you knew it. You fell for me the first time you saw me. How could you help yourself?’ He struggled up on one elbow.

  ‘Lie down!’ commanded the doctor who was taking his pulse.

  ‘Took your time realising it, didn’t you?’ Cal went on. ‘Anyway, I’m glad you’ve finally admitted it, Merise, because I love you, too.’

  ‘What?’ She stood there stunned, surrounded by trainers, coaches, security officials and medical staff, with the media clamouring for entry to the changing rooms. At that moment she didn’t care if she had to spend the rest of her life under the floodlights of the MCG with every camera in Australia trained on her; she just needed him to say that again. All she saw was his dear face, and all she heard was those words, ‘I love you, too.’

  He was kept in hospital overnight for observation, but the doctors expected to release him the following day. Merise sat by his bed all evening. He’s sent away all his other visitors and well-wishers. Now he held her hand in a tight grasp and wouldn’t let her go.

  ‘I can’t believe you tried to jump the fence,’ he laughed as they watched the extensive footage of the incident and Merise’s reaction to it on the evening news.

  ‘Nor can I,’ she said, mortified. ‘I can’t even remember it clearly.’

  ‘Good thing the cameras captured it all then. Shame about the collision. That was some mark I was taking – if that klutz Duncan hadn’t barrelled into me. Anyway, it looks like you’ve thoroughly compromised your future as a serious journo now,’ he teased her, ‘with such irresponsible behaviour. But I suspect you’d get a gig at Celebrity Watch. You’ll be infamous.’

  She didn’t take the bait. None of that mattered now. She didn’t care what anyone thought of her. All that mattered was that she could stay beside him like this forever, even if the whole world was waiting just outside the ward door.

  ‘Whatever happens,’ she said, leaning over to adjust the bandage that was slipping over his eye, ‘just keep in mind that I don’t want you getting in the way of my career.’

  ‘Yeah, ditto. My first loyalty is to the Wolves.’

  ‘Fine. And when I have my own column in the Times, don’t expect me to write favourable reviews unless you really earn them.’

  ‘Reviews? Reviews? You don’t write “reviews” of footy games, darling airhead, you write reports.’

  ‘I knew that.’

  ‘As if! You’d better stick to the arts; no one would ever pay to read your comments on footy. A few months ago you didn’t even know what a mark was, or a possession for that matter.’

  ‘Yeah, but I’m a quick learner, boofhead. I’ve learnt a lot in my time as the public Face of the Yarraside Wolves.’

  ‘Okay, what position do I play?’

  ‘Position? Um, hold on . . . well, you run around a lot, so maybe a midfielder, or a winger, is it? You also score a lot of goals, which is more of a forward’s thing. And you’re pretty good at tackling and generally thumping people, so you could be a defender. Actually, I’d say you’re confused and not a little conflicted. It’s a wonder you can get a game at all.’

  ‘Oh shut up,’ and he grabbed her and stopped her mouth with kisses. When he finally released her he looked down at her, cupped her chin in his big hand and whispered, ‘From now on I’ll have two loves in my life.’

  ‘Just remember that when your hamstrings turn br
ittle, your shoulders won’t stay in place, and footy doesn’t want you any more, I’ll still be here. I’ll still love you even when you’re no longer a big hero.’

  He smiled easily. How he loved just looking at her face! He’d been so stupid. What had made him think that he could ever do without her? That his life would hold any interest if she wasn’t at the heart of it? He knew now that she wouldn’t get in the way of his ambitions; her support, her love would only help him achieve them. And when the end finally came, however tough things got, he’d always have her to go home to.

  They sat quietly for a moment, holding one another, then Cal said, ‘You know, all my life I’ve been dreading the day when I’ll have to hang up my boots. I couldn’t imagine that there would be anything to live for after footy. There’s always the media work, but that doesn’t seem enough. But now I’ve got you, and that’ll be enough for the rest of a lifetime.’

  Merise’s heart turned over. She had never seen him in such a tender mood and it thrilled her. But she only said playfully, ‘You might get sick of me.’

  ‘No. Never!’ he said firmly. ‘Age won’t wither you, nor custom stain your infinite variety.’

  ‘Oh, Cal!’ she said in her best bimbo voice, ‘I just love it when you mangle Shakespeare!’

  Epilogue

  Cal had said he’d call for her after her last lecture of the day, and at three o’clock he picked her up and headed out of town on the Eastern Freeway.

  ‘Where are we going?’ she asked, covering the hand he kept on the gear-stick with her own.

  ‘To look at some property I’m thinking of buying. A possible development site.’

  She didn’t really care where he took her, just as long as they were together.

  Ten minutes later, Cal turned into a road that looked more like a country lane than suburbia and drove for about a kilometre. He finally pulled into a gateway and followed the winding drive until they turned a corner and found themselves in front of the most impressive house she’d ever seen. It was a modern architectural masterpiece in glass, steel, wood and stone.