by Jen McConnel
“My old hiking bag. It needs a new frame, but that’ll be easy to find at a sporting goods store.”
I looked at it. “What am I supposed to do with this?”
“Well,” Pops sat down on the edge of my bed and rubbed his hand across the back of his neck. “I thought you might want to do a little traveling on your own before the wedding.” He paused, and then handed me a slip of paper. “I changed your ticket.”
I stared at him, not understanding. “What are you talking about?”
“You fly out on Friday, direct to London.”
For a moment, I just stared at him, but then I squealed and flung my arms around his neck. “Seriously?”
He nodded. “You’ve been working so hard at school and the coffee shop, and I know you’ve been missing out on a lot of the college experience living at home with two old farts.” He chuckled. “Consider this a birthday-Christmas-graduation present all rolled into one.”
“Pops, you’re seriously amazing, you know that?” I glanced at the ticket, a huge grin plastered on my face, but my smile started to slip after a minute. “Does Mom know?”
“It was her idea for you to start in London, since you already know the language.” He leaned forward conspiratorially. “And you don’t have to stay in London the whole time, but it might be best not to mention that to her.”
I pulled my hand across my mouth. “My lips are sealed.”
Pops smiled. “Good girl.”
I opened my suitcase, ready to start repacking, but then I paused. “About Mom,” I finally said.
Pops sighed. “What about her?”
“Is she okay? I mean, I know she’s upset, but it seems like one minute she’s normal, and the next she’s, well, crazy.”
“I don’t know what to tell you, kiddo. She keeps telling me everything is fine, and I’m not a mind reader.”
I sat down beside him on the bed. “Do you think she’s fine?”
“I don’t know. But she says she is, so I guess we just have to trust her, right?”
I bumped his shoulder. “Right.”
“Have you thought about asking her?”
I cringed, and Pops laughed at the look on my face.
“I’ll take that as a no.” Pops bumped my shoulder back. “Give your mother some credit. She knows you love her.”
I nodded, uncertainly. “If you think she’s fine—”
He sighed. “I don’t know, JoJo. I don’t know.”
After he left my room, I looked around for a minute, taking in the familiar furnishings and thinking about Mom and Pops before I finally turned back to the suitcase on my bed. A smile spread across my face. Europe might not be the permanent escape I was longing for, but at least it was a start.
Chapter Three
London was a wake-up call.
I’d never felt so alone and so surrounded at the same time, and not just because of the crowds of tourists and natives; the first hostel I stayed at was coed, and all the other travelers seemed to be with friends. I’m not usually a shy person, but the first night there, I was too jet-lagged to try to talk to anyone, and then the next morning, one of the girls in my dormitory threw a crazy fit, digging through other people’s bags and claiming that someone had stolen her camera.
I packed up after that and found a new place to stay, and I started to feel a bit more comfortable. Still, traveling alone was a head trip, and I got over my hesitation fast at the second hostel, making sure to talk to the girls sharing the room with me. After that, I realized that I liked hanging out with the strangers I met every day, but I also liked downtime, so I bought a couple of novels from a used book store and read in Kensington Gardens.
I was really having a blast, traveling my way, and then when I met Sarah and we decided to travel together, things got even better. She was a lot of fun to be with, even with her heartbreak, and I think I let her feel braver. Before we left Amsterdam, she announced that she wanted to get a tattoo, and while I was waiting for her to finish up, I decided to pierce my nose. I never would have considered doing something like that back at home, but this trip made me feel bold and confident, and for the first time in a long time, I didn’t second-guess myself.
After two blissful weeks, I said good-bye to Sarah and Camie in Paris and boarded a night train to Berlin. The air outside the train station was cold and damp when I arrived, but the sky was clear. I looked around eagerly, but my heart fell when I realized that all I could see was the looming station.
I found a silver bench near the door where I could sit while I dug out my map, and I looked around. Even if the train station was the only thing in my view, it was more interesting than I’d expected. I was surprised at how different it already felt from the other places I’d been so far in Europe. The building looked like something out of an Ikea catalogue, and the people hurrying in and out were an interesting mix. I saw an old woman with a Mohawk talking excitedly with a young boy in a plaid shirt, and business travelers stepped carefully around a clump of confused-looking Asian tourists.
A group of people who might have been my age caught my eye. The girls were wearing leg warmers and pleather, and each of them had done something strange to her hair. One in particular had fuchsia and violet streaks in her hair, and I studied her with interest. She had her arm draped casually around another girl’s waist, and she looked totally at ease and sure of herself. The guys in the group looked more like skater boys than 80s throwbacks, and I noticed one of them with thick horn-rimmed glasses and short dark hair watching me. He was kind of cute, but then he turned to his friends and said something that made them all laugh, and I looked away, self-conscious. They weren’t close enough that I could hear what they said, even if I could have understood German, but something told me they were laughing at me. I buried my head in my guidebook, trying to ignore them and wishing I had Camie or Sarah with me. I hadn’t realized how much I’d gotten used to having traveling companions!
I heard the boy laugh again, and my head whipped around. He caught me looking at him, and to my horror, this time, he smiled. Slowly, as if he were exaggerating every movement, he winked.
Seriously? Had that guy actually winked at me? I looked back over my shoulder, trying to catch another glimpse of the hipster group, but the crowd outside the train station shifted, swallowing them up, and I shouldered my pack with a sigh and headed out into the city.
~
The hotel was as sterile and modern as the train station, but I didn’t care. After traveling around for two weeks, I’d gotten into my own rhythm, and I was itching to go exploring. But first, I knew I had to check in with my parents. The clerk at the desk wouldn’t give me my own key without Mom or Pops there to sign for it, so I hurried upstairs, determined to get that straightened out once and for all.
I knocked on their door, and before I knew it, Pops had opened it and was pulling me into a hug.
“There she is. How’re you liking Europe so far, kiddo?”
I grinned at him. “It’s awesome. I met a couple of girls, and we’ve been traveling together. They’re in Nice now, but we’re all going to meet back up again in Florence after the wedding.”
Pops’ smile slipped. “JoJo—”
Before he could say anything, Mom emerged from the bathroom. “My baby!” she gasped, crossing the room and wrapping me in a chokehold. “I’ve been so worried about you! Thank goodness you’re safe.”
I struggled to get loose. “Mom, what are you talking about?”
“There was a suicide bombing last night in Turkey, targeting Western tourists,” Pops broke in in his calm voice. “You’re mother’s been worried is all.”
“I can’t believe I let you go off on your own; anything could have happened!”
I rolled my eyes. “But Mom, I’m fine. And I wasn’t anywhere near Turkey.”
Instead of fussing some more like I’d expected, she narrowed her eyes and studied my nose. “Joelle Viviane Viegas, what is that thing on your face?”
Shit. I�
��d forgotten that she didn’t know about my nose piercing. I probably should have taken it out or something, but I hadn’t wanted it to close up, and now it was too late.
“I got it in Amsterdam,” I offered casually. “My friend Sarah wanted a tattoo, and I went with her to keep her company, and, well”— I cleared my throat—“I like it.”
Mom pressed her fingers to her forehead. “I’m going to lie down,” she announced, shooting me a dark look before she turned and headed through a door at the back of the suite.
I exhaled sharply and glanced at Pops. “What’s her problem?”
“She was worried about you.” He hesitated. “It might be a good idea for you to e-mail your friends and cancel your travel plans, JoJo. You’ll have plenty of time to explore Berlin with us, but after that, well, maybe it’s time to go home.”
I stared at him, surprised. “But you’re the one who said I should travel!”
He nodded. “I know, but your mom’s been a nervous wreck these past couple of weeks.”
I huffed. “Not my problem.”
“Be patient with her, kiddo. You know she loves you.”
I shrugged, too tired from my long train ride to check my mood, and a weak laugh escaped my lips. “I guess.” I picked up my shoulder bag and quickly checked the pockets for my passport and wallet. Slinging it across my body, I turned to the door. “I’ll be back in a bit, I guess.”
Pops looked like he wanted to argue, but finally he shrugged. “Don’t wander too far.”
“I won’t. I just want to look around.” I opened the door to the hallway and ran right into my brother. “Charlie!” I was too surprised to keep my voice down, and I heard Mom stirring in the next room. Swiftly, Charlie pulled me out into the hall and closed the door. I flung my arms around him, noticing how much older he looked with his hair buzzed. “What are you doing here?”
He hugged me back, but then he pulled me down the hall and around the corner. “I came to see you!”
I gestured back at the room. “Mom’s lying down, but don’t you want to talk to Pops?”
He shook his head. “I needed my ‘cup of Jo’ first.”
I punched his arm. “You can’t call me stupid things anymore. I’m too old for it.” Secretly, I was thrilled. He’d been so formal ever since he joined the army three years ago, and I’d been worried that he had outgrown me.
He grabbed my shoulders and rubbed the top of my head, giving me a pseudo-affectionate noogie. “You’re never too old for it.”
I grinned up at him. “Dude, I can’t believe you’re getting married.”
“Did Mom flip?”
“Yeah. Why do you think we’re here so early?”
He sighed and leaned against the wall, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. Since when did Charlie smoke? “I hoped she’d be okay.” He lit the cigarette, and then he looked at me. “Want one?”
I shook my head, confused. “But why didn’t you even tell us you were serious about this girl? Why didn’t you call me?”
He smiled. “Joelle, she’s something special. I can’t wait for you two to meet.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
Charlie took a long drag on his cigarette. Was he allowed to smoke inside the hotel? I glanced around, but the hallway was deserted.
“We weren’t that serious. It all happened kind of quick.”
“I’ll say. And you wonder why Mom’s freaking out.”
“Cuppa, I’m freaking out, too.” Charlie cleared his throat. “I’m going to be a dad.”
I stared at him, too stunned to speak.
Finally, Charlie coughed. “Say something, would you, kid?”
I reached for his cigarette and put it to my lips. I inhaled sharply, ignoring the burning sensation that raced down my throat. “Seriously?”
“Yeah.” His eyes met mine. “You cannot tell Mom.”
“What?!”
“We haven’t told anyone. We want to have the wedding and make everyone happy, and then maybe they won’t be angry when we give them the news.”
I shook my head. “Mom’s got, like, ESP or something. You seriously think you’re going to keep this a secret?”
“Only if you help me.”
I wanted to kick him. “That’s so not fair.”
“But it’s what we want. Can you keep a secret, kiddo?”
I took another pull on the cigarette, but then I coughed. “I don’t know. Maybe. I guess.”
Charlie hugged me and took his cigarette back. “That’s my girl. Just keep quiet until after the wedding. Let Mom have one heart attack at a time.”
I glared at him, but then I couldn’t help myself. I giggled, and after a moment, Charlie started to laugh, too. We were still laughing as a door down the hall opened, and a few seconds later, our dad came around the corner. He wasn’t smiling, and Charlie stubbed out his cigarette fast.
“You better have something to say to your mother.” He hesitated for a moment, but then he wrapped Charlie in a big bear hug. “Congratulations, son.”
Charlie’s eyes met mine over Pop’s shoulder, and I placed my finger to my lips, and he nodded. When Pops broke the embrace, he stepped back and looked at my brother. Then he glanced at me, and he sniffed. “JoJo, weren’t you going out?”
I hesitated. “Yes, but—”
“You need to go air out before you talk to your mother.” He cut his eyes at Charlie, but my brother didn’t flinch. “She won’t like the thought of you smoking, but I don’t want to know what she’d do if she smelled JoJo right now.”
Charlie nodded. “Sorry, Pops.” He gave me a lopsided grin. “If you’re going exploring, stop at the café on the corner. Petra is in there waiting for me.”
I snorted. “What, like the ancient city?”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “Like my fiancée.”
“Oh.” I swallowed, suddenly shy. And the mother of his child. “What’s she look like?”
“She’s wearing a green sweater. You’ll see her.”
Before I could pester him for more details, he and my dad turned and walked up the hallway. Part of me wanted to stick around and talk to Charlie, but another part of me wasn’t sure I could handle Mom’s reaction. She’d been bad enough about my piercing. Surely, I don’t smell that bad. I’d only had the cigarette in my hand for a second. I pulled a piece of my hair around in front of my face and sniffed it. Damn. Pops was right. That probably wouldn’t help Charlie’s case.
I headed for the hotel elevator, but I’d lost any enthusiasm for exploring Berlin. I was too busy thinking about the news Charlie had dumped on me. Did he seriously think he was ready to be a dad?
How medieval, I thought as I walked outside. They were getting married just because she’d gotten pregnant. That’s practically what Charlie had said upstairs, I realized, and I clenched my fist, suddenly angry at this stupid girl who was dumb enough to ruin her life and steal my brother’s. Where had Charlie said she was waiting? I glanced up and spotted the familiar green coffee sign on the corner, and I snorted. I hated the girl even more; she was cooling her heels, waiting for my brother in a coffee megastore. Crossing the street, I headed for the café, ready to tell this girl exactly what I thought of her.
Chapter Four
The café was loud and crowded, but even in German, the menu looked familiar. I’d always hated big coffee chains, but working at Beautiful Bean had only deepened my loathing. Give me a little local place with character and a short menu any day.
I glanced around, taking in the mostly young crowd. Before I could spot my brother’s leech, however, a short blond shape barreled into me with a squeal, almost knocking me off my feet.
“Joey!”
I stared at her in astonishment. “Do I know you?”
The petite woman pulled back, beaming, and I noticed her green sweater. My stomach turned over as she said, “I am Charlie’s Petra.”
I stepped away from her. “Oh.” All the anger I’d felt building up since
I got to the hotel left me at once, leaving me feeling like a pathetic, deflated balloon. Petra was smiling up at me, and she looked like a charming elf or fairy. Wispy blond hair framed her face, and the green sweater she was wearing matched her bright eyes. She didn’t even look like she was wearing makeup; nothing about her fit with the idea of the bimbo who got herself knocked up just to catch my brother, and I swallowed. She actually seemed kind of nice at first glance.
“Charlie has told me so much about you. We will be sisters, no?” She reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze, oblivious of the fact that I was trying to figure out what to make of her.
“Um,” I looked away. “I’m going to get a cup of coffee.”
Petra laughed. “That’s right. Charlie told me you are like a cup of Joe yourself.”
Hearing my nickname in her mouth made me stiffen. “I’ll be right back.”
I hurried away from her and stepped into line behind a clump of teenagers. Why did she have to seem so sweet? I glanced back over my shoulder, but Petra wasn’t watching me. She’d taken a seat near the window. I shook my head. I’d kind of wanted to hate her, especially with the whole baby thing and forcing my brother to marry her, but it was going to be hard. I mean, it was like hating Tinker Bell. Still, I didn’t have to be friends with her.
Fortified with a huge paper cup filled with coffee, I headed back to where my brother’s girlfriend—fiancée—sat. She smiled up at me as I pulled out a stool and sat down beside her.
“It is so warm to finally meet you. I feel as if I already know you.”
I shrugged. “I don’t really know anything about you. Charlie didn’t tell us where you two met.”
She laughed. “It was very romantic.” The words sounded gravelly in her thick accent, which might have been charming if anyone else had said it, but not her.
“Yeah?” I took a big gulp of coffee and scalded the roof of my mouth. Damn. “How so?”
She launched into a bubbly story of chance encounters at the dry cleaner’s, followed by some complicated exchange where she ended up collecting my brother’s order and he got hers. “When I called to return his clothes, he asked me to take a meal with him.” She blushed. “I fell in love with him I think before I knew what was happening.”