“Don’t you think I know how badly I screwed up? That I haven’t regretted letting you go every minute of every day since? You were always the one for me, and I was too much of a fool to see it.”
My heart stuttered. Was I dreaming? This had to be a dream. “Do you truly mean that?”
He nodded and pulled me close enough to see the varying shades in his hazel eyes. “Yes. And I don’t want you to go with him. I want you to stay with me.”
The firelight caught a few stray hairs in the cleft of his chin that he had missed while shaving. Robert was still as handsome as he had been the first time I saw him outside our estate. It had been around Yule, and he’d come with his father, bearing brightly wrapped packages and baskets of minced pies and puddings.
And he wanted me to stay with him.
“I made so many mistakes with you.” Robert’s thumb brushed across my lips. “You believed once that I could make you happy. All I’m asking for is a chance to prove I still can.”
The man I had loved for so long was finally ready to be with me. I should have been ecstatic. I should have been jumping up and down celebrating. But staying with Robert meant leaving my sister in Tearmann. “What about Aveen?”
“She’s gone, Keelynn.” Robert tilted my chin so our mouths were only a breath apart. “But I’m not. I’m right here.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine.
The empty glass slipped from my grasp, shattering on the tiles. I laced my fingers through his short hair and dragged him closer.
Heat. Passion. Desire. The months hadn’t dulled my need for him, only intensified it.
Robert shifted and slipped a hand beneath my skirt, up my calf, to my knee and—My thigh. His hand was on my thigh. A few inches higher and—
Tadhg.
I was married to Tadhg.
“Robert,” I whispered between his insistent kisses, cupping his square jaw. “Today has been overwhelming.”
Groaning, Robert adjusted his weight on top of me and rested his forehead against mine. “Don’t go yet.” The husky timbre of his voice left heat pooling in my stomach. “Please.” His hand inched higher.
I wanted him, but not like this.
“I’ll still be here tomorrow.”
I needed time to figure out whether or not to accept his proposal. If I stayed with Robert, I would need to secure a vow from Tadhg that he would ensure Aveen’s safe return once the curse was broken.
And I needed to get that annulment.
“Yes. Yes, of course.” Robert’s hand emerged from my skirts. “Give me a moment to”—he blew out a shaky breath and adjusted his breeches—“compose myself.” He didn’t speak again until his breathing returned to normal. “Come. I’ll bring you to your room.”
I smoothed a hand over my disastrous hair and adjusted the front of my dress. Robert tucked his shirt back into his breeches and chuckled when he saw the glittering shards of glass. “My maid will not be impressed when she finds this mess in the morning.”
I stifled a giggle with my fingers. If I’d been sober, I would’ve tried to clean it myself, but at this point, I’d only make more of a mess.
He stood and, instead of offering a hand, swept me into his arms. I laughed the entire way up the stairs, relishing how it felt to be in his arms again. If we could do this every day for the rest of our lives, I would die happy.
Moonlight drifted through the arched window at the end of the upstairs hall. Robert didn’t put me down until he’d opened the bedroom door. My body slid down his, and I could feel him harden beneath his breeches. His gaze dropped to my lips, sending my pulse racing out of control. My resolve cracked and—
“I hope I’m not interrupting.” Tadhg propped a shoulder against the door to my right; his lips lifted into a smirk.
Robert stumbled back, his face a mixture of fury and desire. “Goodnight, Lady Keelynn,” he ground out, turning on his heel and stalking toward the room to my left.
Tadhg shouted, “Goodnight,” at his back.
The slamming of his door echoed through the corridor.
Tadhg shoved away from the wall and meandered toward me. “You and I need to talk.”
The last thing I wanted was to speak to him. I escaped to my room and flung the door shut.
When I turned around, Tadhg was sitting on the edge of the window, gripping the sill with both hands. “Slamming a door in a man’s face when he’s speaking is terribly rude.”
“So is trying to kill our host.”
“Kill our host? Such a terrible accusation.”
“You promised to be a gentleman.”
He shrugged, not bothering to look the least bit repentant. “Turns out seeing another man fondling my wife brings out the monster in me.”
I opened the armoire, searching for something to wear to bed. Inside was a stack of clean white shirts. “My relationship with Robert is none of your business,” I reminded him, pulling one from the top.
“None of my business?” he muttered, scratching his ear. “Have you forgotten that you and I are married? And if I hadn’t been at dinner tonight, you would’ve let your precious Robert bend you over the table and have his way with you right on top of the feckin’ turkey.”
White hot rage exploded inside of me. I whirled around and slapped him across the face. “How dare you speak to me like that.” The cold silk of my dress did nothing to relieve the vicious stinging in my palm.
Tadhg raised a hand to his reddened cheek, his eyes blown wide.
“I am nothing to you,” I hissed, struggling to keep my voice down, “and you are nothing to me. A means to an end. An escape from reality. A handsome distraction.”
“Keelynn—” He stepped forward.
I backed away. “No. You don’t get to talk to me. I want you out of this house. And don’t think about coming back until you’ve organized a magistrate.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” He inhaled a shaking breath and combed his fingers through his hair. “I shouldn’t have said that, and I shouldn’t have acted so childish at dinner. I’m sorry.”
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
“Save your worthless apologies for someone who cares and get the hell out of my room.”
23
The following morning, soft knocking left me rolling out of bed and hurrying toward the door.
“Mornin’, milady,” said a pretty young maid with springy red hair peeking from beneath a white mop cap. “Master Robert asked me to bring a tub to yer room.”
It was like he could read my mind. A bath was just what I needed to start this day off right. “A bath sounds heavenly. Thank you . . . ?”
“Daisy.”
“Thank you, Daisy.”
Ten minutes later, a small porcelain tub had been dragged in front of the barren fireplace and filled. When the last kettle arrived, Daisy had a white box tucked beneath her other arm. “This is from Master Robert.” She handed me the box and dumped the kettle into the tub. Steam curled from the water. “Is there anything else ye need?”
“No. This is wonderful.”
A fine black mourning dress was folded inside the box. More black. More darkness. Why couldn’t Robert have bought me a nice green dress?
Green like Tadhg’s eyes.
No. Not green. Blue maybe. Or red. Anything but green.
I abandoned the box and dress on the unmade bed and stripped out of the cotton shirt I’d worn to sleep. Dried blood stained my stomach, smeared around a jagged black scar from my belly button to the base of my ribs. Last night, I had been too exhausted and tipsy to get a good look at it. The scar was smooth but unsightly. What would Robert say when he saw it? Would it disgust him?
I stepped into the tub and sank into the cocoon of liquid silence, dulling the world and its decisions
Stay with Robert or go to Aveen.
If it had to be one or the other, my sister would win hands down every time. But why couldn’t I do both?
&nb
sp; If I secured a promise from Tadhg to bring me to Tearmann a day or two before she returned, then I could have everything I had ever wanted.
Daisy had left lavender scented soap and a coarse sponge on top of a stool beside the tub. I scrubbed away the dirt and grime lingering from my encounter with Fiadh until only the black scar remained. The emerald ring slipped down my finger, revealing a sliver of tattoo.
The fight with Tadgh replayed in my mind.
You are my wife.
As if I needed the reminder with a brand around my finger. It wasn’t as if ours was a real marriage. The memory of his lewd comment made my face burn.
Tadhg had ruined my night, but I refused to let him ruin my day.
My hair was still damp when I left the bedroom and made my way down the hall, past the room Tadhg had been given. The door was ajar, and the bed inside was still made. There was no sign of Tadhg.
Good. I didn’t want to see him anyway.
Robert met me at the bottom of the stairs, looking resplendent in a tailored blue waistcoat and dark breeches. “You’re as beautiful as ever this morning, Lady Keelynn,” he said, bowing over my hand and brushing his lips across my knuckles. “I trust you slept well?”
“I did. And thank you for the dress.” I smoothed a hand down the lace at my skirts. “A woman could get used to this sort of treatment.”
Chuckling, he offered his elbow. “I could hardly expect you to ride into town looking like anything but the lady you are.”
We shared a quiet breakfast of rich, buttery scones and tea in the dining room. When Robert asked if Tadhg would be joining us, I lied and said he had business to attend to. Robert didn’t bother hiding his elation.
Afterwards, we took the carriage into Gaul and strolled through the bustling city arm-in-arm, from one fine shop to the next. Robert insisted on buying me three new dresses, and I used some of my own money on two new shifts, some impractical, lacy underthings, and splurged on a soft pink stay with delicate lace made on the continent.
Robert had a meeting with his solicitor at lunch, so I waited for him at a lovely blue-and-white tea house beside the river. In the distance, ships sailed into port. After growing up on the east coast of the island, being back at the seaside felt like coming home.
It was easy to imagine what life would be like if I lived here, with Robert. Visiting the city while he worked. Sharing dinner and drinks at night before retiring. Entertaining our friends and guests. The townhouse was small but not uncomfortable. Simple, not pretentious.
“I see someone’s away with the faeries.”
I turned to find Tadhg standing beside the table, watching me through bloodshot eyes. He slumped into the open seat and gestured toward my half-eaten cherry tart. I pushed the plate toward him as a peace offering. I didn’t have it in me to fight today.
“Where’s Prince Charming?” he asked, taking a massive bite and spilling crumbs onto the white tablecloth.
“Robert should be here any minute.” My tea had gone cold ages ago, but I sipped it anyway to keep my hands busy.
Tadhg’s fingers tapped against the edge of the table as he chewed. “Then I suppose I’ll make this brief.” His ears peeked out of his hair when his head tilted. “We have a meeting with a magistrate on Friday at four.”
Two elderly women at another table twisted in their chairs to stare at us and whisper behind gloved hands. They needed to mind their own bloody business.
“I cannot believe you actually organized it.” After the way he’d acted last night, I’d been afraid he’d hold me to our vows out of spite. I set the teacup aside and scowled at the old biddies until they turned away.
Tadhg didn’t seem to notice our audience as he looped a finger through the teacup’s handle and took a sip. He made a face, dumped in three more lumps of sugar, stirred, and then took another drink. “Even handsome distractions such as myself have been known to keep the odd promise.”
Handsome distraction.
After a good deal of reflection over my tea, I’d realized I was as much to blame for our fight last night as Tadhg. We were married for the time being, and out of respect for him, I should’ve acted with more decorum around Robert—at least while Tadhg was around.
“I’m sorry for saying such awful things to you last night. They were spoken out of anger.”
His face remained expressionless as he finished my tea and set the cup on the saucer with a delicate tink. “‘Save your worthless apologies for someone who cares. You are nothing to me, and I am nothing to you.’”
Hearing him repeat the hateful things I’d said last night stung more than I’d admit. “Tadhg . . .”
“No, no. It’s all right. I like knowing where I stand with people. Makes life easier.” Tadhg tossed a sugar cube into his mouth and stood. “I’ll meet you on Friday at half three in the Arches pub.” A grin. “Wear something nice.” With that, he turned and strode up the street.
Someone came up behind me and settled a hand on my elbow. “Where’s Tadhg off to?” Robert scowled at Tadhg as he made his way between pedestrians and disappeared around the back side of a jewellery shop.
“He’s staying elsewhere for the next few nights,” I assumed. He’d probably evanesce to his castle and spend the rest of the week doing whatever princes did. Count gold, read missives, seduce women.
Robert caught me by the waist and spun around. The old women were watching again, but this time they wore approving smiles.
“That’s bloody brilliant,” he laughed. “I cannot wait to have you all to myself.”
Alone with Robert. The only place I’d rather be was with Aveen. But since that wasn’t possible for a few more months, I figured I may as well enjoy my time with him.
The fish and seaweed breeze blowing in off the coast tugged at my pinned hair as we made our way to the carriage. A swarm of seagulls cawed for their next meal, circling the gray clouds above. Children wove between us in a rowdy game of tag, giggling and shouting. We stopped to let them pass, but one ended up caught in my skirts.
The little girl’s face was dirty, her hands stained purple. “S-sorry milady,” she said in a mousy voice, offering an awkward curtsy.
“It’s all right—”
Robert shoved her away. “Watch where you’re going, filthy mite.”
The girl skittered off after her friends, nearly ramming into another couple ahead of us.
“Filthy mite? Really, Robert?” I glowered at his pinched expression. “It was clearly an accident.”
“Accident or not, those heathens will never learn manners if no one teaches them what is—and is not—socially acceptable,” he clipped, gesturing toward where the children had disappeared.
“That child couldn’t have been more than seven or eight. She still has plenty of time to learn social graces.”
Robert’s hand felt too heavy where it rested on my own. I offered a tight smile before pulling free and pretending to adjust the pins in my hair. “When I was that age, I was still making magic potions in the forest behind my house.” And kissing boys, hoping to find a charming prince.
“Yes, I know,” Robert said with a humorless chuckle. “I do hope you’ll raise our children with a bit more decorum.”
“Our children?” My stomach tightened at the prospect.
The carriage was parked up ahead, in front of a crumbling stone wall next to a flower stall.
“You do want children, don’t you?” he asked, his eyebrows pulling together when he glanced sidelong at me.
“Oh, yes. Of course, I do. I just . . . I don’t know. I suppose we’ve never spoken about children, so I wasn’t sure how you felt about them.” Our drawing room conversations centered around the weather, our families, and his mates from university. The handful of times we were alone, we were too busy to discuss our future together.
“I want to give you everything you’ve ever wanted.” He tucked a stray hair behind my ear and smiled. “A family. A home. If it is within my power, it’s yours.”
> I turned my head to kiss his palm and said, “All I want is you.”
The only sound in the silent townhouse was the crackling fire in the parlor’s narrow fireplace. Daisy and the rest of the servants had disappeared after the dinner dishes had been cleared, leaving Robert and I alone.
Flames reflected off the two empty bottles of wine and glasses abandoned on the coffee table. Robert’s waistcoat sat bunched up on the floor next to our discarded boots.
“I hate that you still wear your wedding ring,” Robert said, smoothing a thumb over the enchanted emerald.
I tucked my hand under my thigh before he could see what was concealed beneath, praying the brand would disappear once the annulment was finalized. “Why does it matter? It’s not like I’m still married,” I said with a tight laugh, nestling deeper into his embrace. His heart beat steady and strong beneath his partially unbuttoned shirt.
He squeezed me closer, like he never wanted me to leave. “I don’t like being reminded that you belonged to someone else.”
I didn’t like it either.
Three more days—or was it only two? I couldn’t quite remember. Either way, I’d have my annulment soon.
And then—
And then what?
Would Tadhg take back the ring? If he did, I’d be powerless against Fiadh, and I’d be forced to tell the truth for the rest of the year.
I wasn’t sure which would be more disastrous.
Dying a slow painful death would be bad.
But being forced to tell Robert the truth about what had really happened these past few weeks would be worse. Could he find it in his heart to forgive me, or would he cast me aside?
Perhaps I could convince Tadhg to leave the ring with me until my curse had expired. But then how would I explain wanting to wear the ring after I finished mourning?
If only there were a way to break the curse entirely.
Hold on. There was a way to break it.
True love’s kiss.
The answer to the most pressing problem had been in front of me all along.
“I love you, Robert.” I loved the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled. I loved the way he looked at me like I was the only woman in the world. I loved everything about him.
A Cursed Kiss (Myths of Airren Book 1) Page 22