‘Cause he’d sent a picture.
A picture of me, right now, in the cafeteria; smiling all red-faced and happy looking at Milo. In the picture, we looked like a close, intimate couple, all into each other and ready to start macking.
Under the picture Aiden had texted, Really???
That’s all it said.
But it made my stomach drop and my heart ache and get all twisty and in a frenzied uproar—more than it already was.
I swallowed hard, clicking my phone shut as my gaze involuntarily scanned the crowded cafeteria. The first thing I noticed was: Griffin was gone. It gave my heart an unexpected jab of disappointment. Only it was silly. What was I hoping? That he would still be standing there, watching me?
Stupid!
I didn’t see Aiden though either, anywhere.
“You okay?” Milo asked. “Was that bad news?” He gestured his head towards my cell. “You look kind of … sick.”
“Um, yeah,” I said, all flustered and unable to concentrate on Milo or what he was saying. My eyes kept darting around the cafeteria, the word “Really?” bouncing around in my brain. “Um … yeah, I feel sick,” I said, totally not lying. I got up from the table, clutching my stomach. “I’m going to go to the nurse’s office.”
Destiny and Jazz were at my heels in a second as I hurried toward the cafeteria exit.
“What was that about?” Jazz’s voice was kind of like she was scolding me. “Why’d you leave Milo like that?—he was going to ask you out.”
I breathed out a jittery sigh, then showed her Aiden’s text.
Jazz made a tsking sound, narrowing her eyes. “What kind of lame game is he playing? Just let him go, Ally. He was at Shondra Livingston’s party Friday night with Fauna. They were totally making-out.”
I clasped my stomach harder, feeling as though I’d been punched. My heart squeezed with pain. I could barely breathe, yet I had this urge to scream—at Jazz.
I stared up at her, unable to say anything for fear of crying. Finally, I gave out this tiny little sob. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Jazz’s gaze cut to Destiny, then back at me. “We were just trying to spare you drama—but, Al, he’s not worth it, not anymore. Just cut him loose and move on—to Milo. Milo’s nice.”
“And cute,” Destiny added.
“And he definitely likes you.” Jazz made this humph noise that she does when she’s going to state a fact she dares you to deny. “He was staring at you all through lunch like he wanted to gobble you up. And you made him think you liked him too—admit it Ally, all week you’ve been leading him on—smiling and flirting, laughing at his trying-too-hard lame jokes.”
I bit my lip. It sounded pathetic, but she already knew. “I wanted to like him.”
Guh!
I couldn’t really concentrate on this—the conversation, or Milo’s puzzled, hurt eyes that kept darting to me now from across the cafeteria, looking all What’s going on? Why’d you leave when I was going to ask you out? I couldn’t concentrate on that. I was in too much pain, feeling as though I had a knife in my heart. I was bleeding all over the floor.
Aiden had gone to a party with Fauna? They were making-out? Already? Suddenly, I was all sweaty and shivery and ready to puke. I knew it was stupid, that I should have known—been ready for this kind of news. But I wasn’t. I’d seriously thought we’d somehow get back together.
I needed to get away—away from my friends and Milo’s eyes and Aiden, wherever he was. I needed to be alone so I could curl up in a tiny, tight ball and cry.
“Look, go back to Milo,” I whimpered, still clutching my stomach. “He looks sad, sitting there all alone—but I have to go.” I headed towards the exit. “I have to get out of here.”
I ran out of the cafeteria and into the closest bathroom. It was the same one I had hid in a couple of weeks ago. I locked myself into the exact same stall as before and did my now usual thing—clutched my stomach fighting back tears.
CHAPTER 9
The next Friday night I went to the concert with Milo. It wasn’t horrible but it was kind of awkward. Before I agreed to go with him I explained that though Aiden and I had officially broken up I wasn’t really ready to officially date yet. So, we went to the concert as “friends.”
Still, he kissed me on my doorstep at the end of the night. I wasn’t expecting that and it was … awkward. Not awful. But not good. I have no idea what made him think he should make that move.
I spent the whole rest of the weekend writing long, sad passages in my journal about how horrible it is to break-up with someone—even if you know it is over and for the best. Still, it’s hard. Hard to move on. Hard to see the other person moving on. Because you’d been together so long and it was comfortable and trying to get over that—and find it with someone else, it sucks.
I wrote tragic poem after tragic poem about it. Then a song that made me cry. Mostly because it made me think of Aiden and that essay he had written before I really knew him and how I’d made a song about it and then we had gotten together and wrote tons of songs—together. Tons of them. Just like the one I was writing now—only now writing it was heartbreaking because I was alone. And it seemed like I might always be alone—not ever find another boy that would like to write songs. I knew I’d been lucky to find Aiden. I always knew that.
I planned to spend all Sunday night bawling and typing everything that I had written in my “journal notebook” into my computer. (I write everything out with a pen into this ratty, old notebook that I carry around with me at all times, then if what I write seems worth it, later I type it up into a folder I labeled “My Life.” It’s a pretty pathetic folder.)
Anyway, my plans got axed when my aunt called inviting my mom on a trip with her to Belize—that night. My aunt had won the trip from a game show on TV and she was going to go with her boyfriend, but he ended up backing out at the last minute because he’s a toad. So, though my mom wouldn’t normally up and leave me so unexpectedly—she did. Because my aunt was sad because, you know, her boyfriend is a toad. So, my mom went, but she had my cousin, Kendra, come and stay with me, since her mom (my aunt) was going to Belize.
Mom kept saying it would be fun having Kendra over. But I knew it wouldn’t. Kendra is my age and goes to my school, but we don’t have anything in common. Nothing. It’s not like we hate each other. We don’t. We just have nothing to say to each other. Because she’s all Party-Girl and scary and hangs out with people like Hailey—not Hailey, per se, just people like her. Maybe even Hailey. I don’t know. I’m not really up on my cousin.
But anyway, Kendra came over so I couldn’t do my bawling while I typed my woe-is-me stuff into my computer. Instead, we went to the movies. Kendra’s boyfriend, Seth, works at the movie theater in the mall, so he got us in for free which was good because though Mom gave me fifty bucks before she left, I wanted to keep it as I was saving up for a guitar. I couldn’t actually play one—didn’t know a thing about them, but … I wanted one. I wanted to learn to play.
Thing was, I wanted to learn forever. Since junior high. But since seeing Griffin play his guitar with his band in the school’s talent show, I suddenly had a renewed interest. Now I wanted to play … bad.
So, anyway, I was glad I didn’t have to use Mom’s fifty dollars. And I was glad Kendra’s boyfriend had to work so he couldn’t watch the movie with us, ‘cause we ended up watching this movie about a girl that fell in love with this guy and then they finally got together and they were happy for a while and then they started fighting all the time and then he cheated on her and then she broke up with him and then the movie ended. Just like that.
They were in love and then they fought and then they broke up, the end. It was not a good movie. But it had me bawling. It was embarrassing. Especially because Kendra is so not someone I wanted to bawl in front of—not that I wanted to bawl in front of anyone. But still. When she saw me quietly blubbering at the end of the movie she looked at me like I was nuts. So, I explained to her that Aiden and I br
oke up and though I didn’t quite love him anymore, I was still sad and hurt and in confused agony.
“This is a job for Cold Stone,” Kendra said.
She bought me chocolate cake-batter ice cream in a white-chocolate covered cone and she told me about this loser guy she used to date, Zack.
“I was so in love with him,” she said. “But he kept cheating on me, so I had to break up with him—had to. But it was so hard and I cried all the time. But now I’m dating Seth and soooo happy.” She licked at her ice cream, then went on with a laugh, “Now, of course, Zack calls me all the time, wanting to get back together. But no way. He’s dog. I’m so better off without him.”
It was kind of comforting to hear her say that. That the break-up had made her sad, but now, after all the heartbreak, she was happy and better off. That was comforting.
But the thing was—Aiden wasn’t a dog.
And I missed him.
I did.
I wasn’t sure if I was better off without him or not. It kind of seemed I wasn’t.
CHAPTER 10
The next morning, I woke feeling optimistic. Not about Aiden. That seemed over, whether I wanted it to be or not. It was just the way it was. So, I decided to try harder to be okay with it. I decided to try harder to like Milo. After all, he really was perfect for me. Really. He was a nice guy and he liked me a lot and he was cute.
Everyone said we’d make a perfect couple. So … okay. I’d give it more of a shot, try harder.
And really, I’d had fun with him at the concert. I did. Sort of. It was just—he wasn’t Aiden, and I would have to get used to that—a different guy. A guy I didn’t know so well and sometimes didn’t know what to say to.
Like I said, it was awkward, but not horrible. I could deal with it.
That’s what I was thinking before school. But then something bad happened.
See, Kendra talked me into driving my mom’s car to school. Because well, Mom wasn’t around, and there was her car in the garage, not being used, and we would’ve had to take the school bus otherwise.
And well, Mom didn’t say I couldn’t take her car to school. She never said that. I just never did before—because she always needed it. But I couldn’t get her on my cell to ask. So in the end we took her car, and then like I said, something bad happened.
Kendra had me stop at the 7-Eleven for a Slurpee before school and it was really, really foggy. Really foggy. And when we were backing up to leave the parking lot, we accidently backed into a dumpster. And when I say “we” I really mean “me.” I backed into the dumpster. Because it was super foggy out. And I didn’t see it. (Okay, I’m not the world’s best driver, I admit it.)
So, that was fatal.
Especially because right then I got a text from Mom that said she would be coming back this afternoon. (This afternoon!!) My aunt’s boyfriend ended up wanting to go to Belize after all. Toad!!! But Mom said she was swamped at the work, so she was glad things turned out the way they did.
But I so wasn’t! I had to get the car fixed—now!
I was freaking.
Kendra looked at the dent in the bumper and shrugged, like no big deal—but then, she wasn’t the one that was going to have to pay for it. Or hear my Mom scream about it. (Not that Mom would scream, but she’d be mad. I mean, I didn’t even ask.)
“It’s not that bad,” Kendra said.
Not that bad? Not that bad! The bumper was like, totaled. Okay, maybe not totaled, but noticeably messed up.
I was all shaky and not sure what to do. Scrambled, frenzied worries raced around in my brain. I needed to get the car fixed, and I only had fifty bucks, and I doubted that would be enough. Only, how much was enough? I had no clue how much it would cost. A hundred? A thousand? More? A lot more? I had absolutely no idea.
And I had a test first period that I couldn’t miss and I didn’t know where to take the car to get it fixed or how I would get there or get back to school when I brought it there and …
Ugh! The list went on and on. It had my head reeling.
I didn’t actually say anything aloud, though. I just stared at the car, my pulse racing and my head burning and my eyes watering.
But I guess Kendra could tell I was freaking out.
Because she said, “Chill, Ally.”
Like I was screaming or throwing a tantrum or something.
She was all matter-of-fact and told me her ex-boyfriend, Zack, would look at the car. “He has auto-mechanics first period. He can fix it.”
She said it like, case closed, no big deal.
I let out a breath. She had said last night Zack was a dog. Still, I couldn’t help but get my hopes up—a little. Because getting the car fixed on school grounds while I was able to stay at school and be a good-girl and take my test and go to classes—that would be perfect. Awesome even.
Only, it sounded too good to be true. Way too good.
I bit my lip. “Will he help me?”
Kendra waved off my question. “He’ll help me.” She sounded like there was no doubt. “He may be a jerk and have no idea how to treat a girl, but he knows his cars.”
I trudged back to the driver’s side of the car and slid in. I hoped my cousin knew what she was talking about.
CHAPTER 11
All during first period I worried about my car, which made it hard for me to concentrate on my test. Kendra had taken my car to the auto shop at our school before first period. She said she needed to talk to Zack about it “alone.” I was okay with that. Whatever she needed to do with him “alone”—well, I didn’t want to know.
I just wanted my car fixed.
And I hoped, hoped, hoped it wouldn’t cost a thousand dollars.
I texted Kendra twice during class. She never texted back. It had my stomach in knots, but when I came out of first period there she was, waiting for me outside the door. She was all smiling and looking … hmm. I don’t know. Mischievous?
The smiling part had me relieved. The mischievous part? Not so much. It had my heart in a frantic uproar—not sure what to do, be excited or anxious.
“So, what happened?” I asked. “Did Zack say he would fix my car?”
“Oh, Zack didn’t come to school today.”
Whhh?
I felt as though I’d been punched in the stomach, especially because Kendra said it with a huge smile, still looking mischievous. It pissed me off. I mean, I needed help. My mom was going to freak and never let me use her car again, ever. And I’d never be able to buy my guitar. Ever. I was going to owe Mom money until after college. Maybe even after that. It had me sweating and aching and Kendra’s smile made me want to slug her.
“So, why are you smiling?” I snapped.
Kendra’s smile grew. “Because, Zack wasn’t there … but another guy was.” Her smile got even bigger and more mischievous. “He said he’ll do it. You just need to pay for the materials, and—” she laughed, “—you have to kiss him.”
I blinked. “What?”
She gave out another laugh. Then she raised up her hands, like she couldn’t believe it either. “That’s what he said.”
My stomach was suddenly doing strange flips. “Who said that?”
My voice hitched as I asked, because I was pretty sure I knew.
Kendra’s eyes danced, as though this was hilarious and she couldn’t wait to see my face when I heard the answer. “You know that hockey guy? ‘Griff The Grief Master?’—him.”
She smiled kind of dreamy-like. “I’d do it. He has gorgeous lips. Don’t you think he has gorgeous lips?”
I swallowed.
Yeah, I thought he had gorgeous lips. I’d fantasized about those kewpie-doll lips of his night after night. Non-stop. For months. Because they were amazing—gentle and sweet and Mmmmm.
So, no. No way. I couldn’t kiss him again. I couldn’t.
It took me forever to get over that kiss—to stop longing for it. (Okay, I hadn’t stopped.) But it took me until last night to actually decide to definitely focus
back on “nice” guys—guys I could actually date and hold hands with as I walked down the school halls. Guys like Milo. Milo, who just this morning I decided I’d soon be dating. Because Milo and me—we made sense. We took the same honors classes and were on the same school committees. We were “right.”
And Griffin was wrong.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
All wrong.
So, no. I couldn’t kiss him again.
I just couldn’t.
Kendra gave a little laugh, like this was so fun—watching my face flush red as a beet. Grrr!
She put on lip-gloss as she summarized her meeting with The Griff. “He said he’d do it for free. You just have to pay for the parts—the backlights and stuff. He said it will be about forty bucks.”
“Forty buck?” I raised my eyebrows. I had forty bucks!
I practically jumped up and down—okay, I did jump up and down. “Really? That’s it? Really?”
She laughed. “That—and the kiss.”
I waved my arm at her as though to brush off her comment, like it was silly. “He was only teasing. He’s not going to make me do that.”
‘Cause suddenly I knew he wouldn’t. Or anyway, I was pretty sure he wouldn’t. Griffin just liked to mess with Aiden, and it seemed The Griff found it was entertaining to do it through me—shy little Ally Grange who had a fan-girl crush on him. It was like he could mess with both Aiden and me with one kiss. It amused him. Way too much.
But it wasn’t like Aiden and I were really on Griffin’s radar. I mean, it’s not like he was up on mine and Aiden’s relationship. He wasn’t. He probably didn’t have a clue we’d broken up. I was pretty sure the kiss would lose all of its fun for Griffin if it wasn’t going to piss off Aiden.
Like that—the kiss would lose all of its appeal.
“Oh I don’t know, Ally,” Kendra said. “Griffin seemed pretty serious about it. I mean, the guy is going to have to miss classes to work on your car.”
For a moment that touched me, deeply. But then my brain screamed, “Wake up, Ally!”
The Heartbreaker Next Door (The Hockey Team Book 1) Page 13