Hello World

by Joanna Sellick

  CHAPTER 27

  I take the next day off school, spending it either in the hospital with Jay or at home with Blake, but then force myself into school the day after. I still have exams after all.

  Unlike the day after the text went around school however, I don’t care about what anyone has to say about me, behind my back or to my face. Because nothing they say can be as half as bad as what is happening to Jay.

  For anyone who does snigger or make comments, I show them the finger and carry on walking, the walls that had previously cut me off from society now acting as a strong amour. Most people throw me sympathy looks though, because by now everyone knows what has happened to Jay.

  I keep my phone on me all day, continuingly checking for messages but receiving nothing. At lunch, I find myself walking around the quad area most people have their lunch in, and since today is warmer than most, I decide to sit there too, crouching down on the steps and flicking through messages on my phone.

  I’m going through every message my phone has saved of the threats and taunts from my tormentor, because surely, surely if I keep looking, something will click into place. I’m not too sure what, but I know something must.

  ‘I’m sorry about Jay.’

  I look up and see Noah standing just in front of the sun, so most of her body is covered in shadow.

  ‘So am I,’ I say, smiling weakly.

  ‘When does he get out of hospital?’ she asks, moving to sit down beside me on the steps.

  ‘He’s being discharged today,’ I explain. ‘I don’t think he’ll be coming back to school though, the cancer’s gotten too bad for that.’

  ‘Poor boy,’ she whispers to herself. Then she looks down at my phone. ‘Who the hell sent you that?’ Noah gapes, staring at a particularly nasty message. I sigh and explain to her about my tormentor, the texts they send and the black mailing photo.

  ‘And you said nothing?’ she asks incredulously.

  ‘To be fair, I didn’t really have anyone to tell,’ I reply dryly. Noah thumps me with her school bag.

  ‘You should have come to me!’ she scolds. Then Noah stands up and holds out a hand. ‘Come on, we’re going to the police.’

  ‘No,’ I reply calmly. Noah’s expression falls and she drops down next to me again.

  ‘Whoever did this has to be punished, I know you feel the need to punish yourself but you don’t-’

  ‘I don’t want go to the police just yet,’ I interrupt, pulling out my little notebook. ‘The moment I go to the police, my tormentor will find out and ditch the phone with all the evidence on. I’m going to have to work out who the person is before I go to the police,’ I reason. Noah considers this for a moment before whipping out her mobile.

  ‘You’re sure it’s someone in the school, right? I have most people’s number, and I can have the guys to check their phones too. Scroll down the contact list and see if you get a match,’ Noah instructs, handing over her mobile.

  Blinking, I look down at the phone in front of me before looking back at her. Certain she isn’t going to snatch it away again suddenly and call me a weirdo for even trying to get to the bottom of this myself, I scroll through her contacts.

  Yet I find no match, and something in me deflates. A tiny part of me had really hoped it would be this easy.

  ‘Nothing,’ I sigh, eventually giving Noah’s phone back to her. Noah stands up and I follow her, lunch coming to an end.

  ‘Maybe going to the police will just be easier,’ Noah shrugs. I’m about to argue, we’d only just started, when Kai appears out of the crowd, tidying a piece of long hair behind her ear. She looks different today, less like a supermodel and more like a normal girl, her usual hauls of make-up lacking and her clothing more relaxed. Maybe she’s having an ugly day, not that she can be ugly if she tried.

  ‘Hey, Neve,’ she says as she approaches, ignoring Noah’s glare. ‘I just wanted to say I’m sorry to hear about Jay. And… I’m sorry for what I said to you at the party. You were right, no one could have seen what happened coming.’ Then, without another word, Kai disappears, leaving me in a state of shock.

  ‘Did Kai just apologise?’ I ask incredulously. Noah makes a face.

  ‘Yeah, and she earned an Oscar award for it too. You don’t really think she meant that did you?’ Noah asks dubiously, her eyebrow rising.

  I tilt my head and watch the girl wander over to her group of friends. She pulls out her mobile and starts texting absently.

  I shrug.

  ‘Alex must have seen something he liked in her; maybe she has a good side after all. He was her friend too,’ I argue. Noah just shrugs, clearly unconvinced.

  ‘I’m just saying; it’s like she has two sides to her. One minute she’s all innocent and the next she’s talking about you behind your back on that swanky piece of tech in her hand,’ Noah replies dryly.

  I snort. ‘You just don’t like that she has the new iPhone and you can’t afford it,’ I tease. Noah has been going on for a while now about wanting one and how Kai can’t possibly understand all of the features and the true value of it. Mike takes every pleasure in reminding her of this daily.

  Noah makes a face. ‘I don’t see why she makes a scene of flashing her new one around yet still insists on carrying around that old one of hers. It’s older than mine, it’s like she’s mocking me,’ she points out, looking at her mobile in distaste.

  I stop dead. ‘What do you mean?’

  Noah shrugs.

  ‘Kai used to have, well, still has I think, this black one she gets out every now and then, I haven’t seen it around in a while though. Who knows, maybe she uses it to cheat on her boyfriend or something…’ Noah slowly trails off before looking at me. ‘I’m an idiot, aren’t I?’

  Two steps ahead of her, I dig around in my pockets, retrieving a small piece of card.

  ‘Noah, will you do a favour for me, please?’ I ask her, my gaze wandering back over to Kai across the quad.

  ‘Anything,’ Noah replies, following my gaze.

  I hand over the piece of card in my hand, DI Nickleson’s card.

  ‘I have a job for you.’

  Kai Gelding stays after school on Tuesday for extra Chemistry lessons, because despite her supermodel looks and general bitchiness, she does actually care about her grades.

  I know she has to go through the main hall to get to the other side of the school in order to go home. I know because it’s a place I’ve been avoiding for months.

  This is where I hide now, tucked in the shadows until I hear footsteps. I see her figure enter the large hall and press down on the call button, redialling my tormentor from one of the numerous texts.

  As I expect, a phone starts ringing throughout the hall and Kai practically jumps up in the air with surprise. She must have never thought to keep it on silent because I’ve never replied to any of her taunts.

  Frantically, she goes to hang up, but I’ve got the evidence I need. She’s holding it.

  ‘You know, I almost believed the sorry little girl act earlier,’ I say, emerging from the shadows, my voice dripping with venom.

  Kai whips around, her hands curling into balls of tiny fists when her eyes land on me. Then she uncurls and relaxes, a sly grin appearing on her lips. Kai folds her arms and looks at me as if I’m nothing more than dirt on the bottom of her shoe.

  ‘I always knew you hated me,’ I add, making my way across the hall to meet her. ‘I never realised you were that much of a Bitch though.’

  Kai laughs at that.

  ‘So little Neve finally put together the pieces of her own story,’ she muses, dark sparks visible in her usually pretty eyes. ‘Did you like my little rendition of our fairytale? I thought it was all quite beautiful really, the way everything kept slotting together as it did,’ she says, almost dreamily. Cold shivers run up my arms.

  I had expected a quick act of denial, yelling and screaming and a few thrown chairs, not more taunting.

  My eyebrows arch.

  ‘You
have a delusional outlook on fairytales,’ I reply in a steady voice. ‘I distinctly remember that they all have happy endings.’

  Kai laughs again, sharper this time.

  ‘Fairytales, true fairytales, aren’t as perfect as we like to think. Fairytales themselves are the delusions,’ she smirks, tossing a bit of dark hair over her shoulder. ‘So what are you going to do now, Neve? Turn me in? If you do, I think I’ll be impressed. Of course it won’t make any difference in Alex’s case,’ she adds darkly.

  I try to pretend as though her last comment doesn’t affect me.

  ‘Why?’ I ask at last. ‘What in God’s name made you pick up that phone and start all of this? It’s taken me a long time to see it, but I didn’t deserve-’

  ‘You deserved every little bit of it, you little whore!’ Kai screams, her demeanour finally cracking. ‘Alex was mine, and you stole him! And then you took him away from me for good!’

  Shock and anger rise in me then, and I feel my own fists clench.

  ‘What do you mean, “yours”?’ I snap back.

  ‘We were seeing each other, you idiot. Alex didn’t want to hurt precious little Neve so he went behind your back instead. Except you kept finding excuses to pull him away from me and he went willingly,’ Kai spits, her face reddening.

  As for me, my heart had stopped at her first sentence. Alex was seeing Kai?

  Seeing my expression, Kai laughs again.

  ‘Remember that crushing feeling Neve, you’ll have to live with it for a long time,’ she smirks. Seeing she’s won, Kai gives me one last glare before turning on her heels and stalking away.

  I’m not done yet though.

  ‘I have one last question,’ I announce, my voice shakier than before. Glowering, I stand to face Kai as she turns around again, at least having the decency to look intrigued.

  ‘And what’s that?’ she asks, a condescending smirk plastered on her face.

  I realise with a start that Kai thinks she has nothing to fear. After all, who have I been but her defenceless victim these past few months? Who didn’t have the courage to confront her once before today, even though I had her number in my hand?

  Kai’s always known that my biggest weakness will be my biggest downfall, that the guilt over Alex will always keep me from saying anything, because accepting her punishments are my own personal form of justice. I had admitted that to her at the party, so it’s no surprise she thinks I’m still under her thumb, still poor little Neve.

  Poor little Neve doesn’t exist, not anymore.

  Because there’s something that’s been troubling me these past few days, although I haven’t really had time to focus on until it recently, something I didn’t even realise was out of place until I was sat in the police station facing DI Nickleson and DI Williams.

  I’m afraid we can’t disclose details on cases.

  ‘How exactly did you know that Alex had taken a blow to the back of the head?’ I ask fiercely, taking a step forward. ‘The police didn’t disclose details to the public, only to me and his family. And I’m damn sure his family didn’t talk about his death,’ I state.

  Kai folds her arms, her tiny frame shaking in anger, although she tries to keep her cool.

  ‘Everyone knows how Alex died, it was all over the papers,’ she snarls, her voice taking on a dangerous edge.

  ‘Everyone knows Alex was beaten up, that’s what was in the papers,’ I point out, my voice getting louder and clearer, even though the whole of my being is starting to shake. ‘That could mean anything; that he was smashed against a wall, that he was beaten so much that he died of blood loss. He could have even been in so much pain, had his ribs cracked and bones broken, that it was simply too much. But no, at the party you said specifically that he took a blow to the head. You didn’t even hesitate,’ I snap, my mind drawing to conclusions I’m too terrified to really contemplate. ‘So I guess the real question, Kai, is why did you know how he died?’

  ‘Nothing would have happened if it wasn’t for you!’ Kai suddenly roars after a moment of silence. She makes her way towards me, white-hot anger sizzling across her pale skin. Instinctively, I back up, panic creeping up my spine. ‘You just had to play the hero, didn’t you? You just had to come to Alex’s rescue and screw it all up,’ she sneers.

  ‘What the hell did you do?’ I whisper, my eyes widening.

  ‘I took back what was mine!’ she screams. ‘Alex didn’t even tell me about what was going on with Mr Fenwick, but of course he didn’t hesitate to tell you. Do you know why he was in school that night? He was helping me. Me. We were just about to walk home afterwards when he heard you screaming. Then Alex just left me standing in the corridors to come to your aid. I saw him punch Mr Fenwick and then drag you out. I hid in the shadows and you two just walked past. Alex had forgotten about me!

  ‘So I followed you both home and when he left for the police station, I kept following. I’d put little pieces together by then, but I wanted to know the full story so I rounded on Alex, demanding to know what the hell was going on. He told me, but didn’t even apologise for leaving me behind. I don’t think it even registered with him. I shouted at him, told him that he should have told me first, come to me and not you. Then he told me to go away, to leave him alone.’ Kai breaks off into laughter again, a dark and twisted sound. ‘He told me to go away. And then Alex turned his back on me.’

  Kai moves forward slowly, like a snake about to pounce. ‘He turned his back on me,’ she repeats, her voice thick and heavy, dark. ‘No one turns their back on me. One minute I find a big rock in my hand, and the next… well I got out of there.’

  ‘You…’ I stutter, the words not seeming to make sense. My mind seems to swirl and cartwheel as my mind hides behind a foggy mess. Then a very definitive thought makes way, and everything becomes abundantly clear. Kai killed Alex. Kai murdered Alex.

  My muscles tense and the ringing in my ears stop, my full attention on the girl in front of me, her own stance just challenging me to take a step forward. I can feel my heart pounding faster, the blood rushing in my ears and beating against my temples like a war drum.

  Some may question how a seemingly ordinary girl can commit such a crime, but I understand it now. Love and passion can make a person do the most foolish of things. It can make you take leaps you wouldn’t dream of, it can turn you into a complete monster and turn you against the very thing you desire the most, it can even make you stand on a bridge and take your own life.

  Love is a drug, a poison. And in this moment I can feel all of it. The burning passion in my stomach, the need to tear this girl apart and make her feel my pain, feel Alex’s pain, is too great, wiping away my morals and conscience.

  I want to cause her pain.

  ‘You killed Alex,’ I screech, my voice mirroring my inner emotions.

  Without thinking, I launch myself in Kai’s direction, but something suddenly holds me back, firm arms pressing me against a strong chest.

  ‘Kai Gelding, you’re under arrest for the murder of Alex Mason,’ DI Nickleson booms, entering the hall with Noah next to him. Kai is too dumbstruck to resist, and it’s only when she catches the gleam of silver handcuffs that she seems to realise just what trouble she’s gotten herself into.

  ‘No, you don’t understand- Neve, she- It was an accident!’ Kai shouts, trying to defend herself to no avail.

  I watch in horror as other policemen appear on the scene, carting Kai away.

  I’m not finished with her.

  ‘Let me go!’ I yell at the hands, struggling to worm out of their grip. My vision blurs and reddens at the edges. ‘I can’t let her get away with it!’

  ‘She won’t,’ a familiar voice tells me, his mouth pressed against my ear, his grip never wavering. ‘Neve, it’s me. You need to stop struggling.’

  And I do. The fight suddenly drains out of me and I crumple in Jay’s arms. I find myself pressed up against his chest and I grip the front of his shirt, crying into it violently. My legs suddenly fa
il but Jay keeps me upright, stroking my hair and whispering things in my ear that I barely hear.

  ‘It’s okay now,’ Jay keeps telling me, holding me tightly. ‘Everything’s okay now.’

  CHAPTER 28

  It’s going to be okay.

  Kai told me that fairytales were delusions; but that line has to be the most deluded thing I’ve ever been told.

  My parents died.

  It’s going to be okay.

  Alex died.

  It’s going to be okay.

  Jay is going to die.

  It’s going to be okay.

  There are so many things in my life that are not going to be okay, which I guess is why I have these counselling sessions. It’s a way of people telling me it’s not okay without actually having to say those words, because those words haunt us.

  I look at Nadine and she looks back. I can see her lips moving but the only sound I can hear is a low humming. I’ve been like this for a few days now; broken.

  I’ve finally learnt what really happened to Alex; yet I don’t feel as if I’ve gained anything at all. I should feel happy, ecstatic that after all of this I can finally say I wasn’t the reason for my best friend’s death, because he was killed by a crazy teenage girl and not a teacher looking to silence him. But again, I feel nothing.

  In fact, I feel as though I’ve lost more.

  Alex was seeing Kai.

  I’m not too sure why that little detail, out of everything, bothers me so much. Perhaps it’s the idea of him feeling the need to keep stuff from me, even after everything we’ve been through. I keep trying to tell myself that Kai was lying, that there was nothing, but I’m not sure of anything anymore.

  Strangely, the person who has kept my head above water this whole week is Blake. I don’t know why I find that strange either, I guess I figure he should be with his brother and not me, yet he doesn’t leave me alone if he can help it. We spend a lot of time together, the three of us. More time than before.