Fireflies in December

by Jennifer Erin Valent

  Gemma stared at me in surprise, and Momma and Daddy exchanged confused glances.

  “He’s doin’ what?” Daddy asked, trying not to grin.

  “We saw him today, didn’t we, Gemma? We saw him with some crazy girl out at the gazebo in the meadow, takin’ shelter.”

  “Well, there ain’t no reason for them to get all wet,” Daddy said. “I told Luke he’s welcome on our property anytime.”

  I dropped my fork. “You mean you knew about this? You gave Luke permission to go playin’ around with girls on our property?”

  “I really doubt he’s playin’ around. Boys court girls. It’s that simple.” Daddy was getting angry just like me now.

  “Ain’t no reason for a boy Luke’s age to be goin’ about with girls. And without a chaperone!” I cried in proud disgust. “Ain’t fittin’, sure and simple.”

  Daddy tossed his napkin down and seemed ready to give me a good yelling at, but Momma laid a hand on his arm before he got a chance. She gave him a look and a nod, and then she said to me, “Luke’s only nineteen, Jessilyn. He ain’t gettin’ married anytime soon.”

  “I didn’t say nothin’ about marriage.”

  “No, you didn’t, but I’m just sayin’. Ain’t no big deal for Luke to have a little walk-and-talk with a girl. Mercy, I had three beaus before I settled up with your daddy.”

  “Here we go talkin’ about your beaus again,” Daddy said, rolling his eyes. “I’ll have you remember that I did some courtin’ myself before you.”

  Momma smiled. “There now, see, Jessilyn? Ain’t no need to worry like Luke’s gettin’ close to the altar.”

  I went back to playing with my peas. Even though I felt better after Momma’s words, I didn’t want anyone thinking I was jealous, so I said, “I ain’t worryin’ about Luke Talley gettin’ married. I was just makin’ sure you knew we had some trespassers.”

  “Luke Talley ain’t a trespasser,” Daddy told me. “He’s welcome anytime on my property, and he knows it.”

  “Well,” I muttered, “I was just sayin’ . . .”

  Momma smiled that knowing smile of hers, but Daddy shook his head in exasperation.

  My stomach swirled nervously. I knew I wasn’t fooling anyone.

  The next day, I was outside washing laundry when Luke wandered up the back path. I was embarrassed to see him, but it was even worse that I was sweaty and wet from scrubbing dirty clothes. I used the back of one hand to push some of the frizzy hair away from my forehead and started going over ways to explain my behavior from the day before.

  As it turned out, Luke didn’t leave me space to give an excuse. He was the one doing all the explaining.

  “Doin’ a little washin’?” he asked.

  It was the first time since I’d known him that he seemed nervous. I could hear it in his voice, and I found it funny that he was the one to act nervous between the two of us.

  I just kept looking into the water. “Uh-huh.”

  He sighed and said, “Sure is a hot one today to be out workin’ under this sun.”

  “Ain’t no different from every other day this time of year.”

  “No. No, I suppose not.”

  I was scrubbing the life out of Daddy’s best church shirt, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself.

  “You know, Miss Jessie, I was goin’ to introduce you to Peggy yesterday if you’d stayed around.”

  “Gemma wanted to get home. She was afraid of the storm.”

  When all else fails, blame Gemma.

  “I’m sure she was afraid. I was afraid for you too.” Luke reached over and took my arm. “You best leave that shirt alone, before you rub it raw and your daddy has to wear his work shirts to church.”

  I got goose bumps when he touched me, and in my embarrassment I pulled away almost like he’d burnt me. I did put Daddy’s shirt in the rinse water, but I didn’t say anything to Luke.

  “Anyway,” he continued, “I didn’t not want you around or nothin’. Peggy and me, we were just havin’ a stroll up the lane, and it started to rain, so we took cover. Ain’t nothin’ more than that. You didn’t need to run away.”

  I finished Daddy’s shirt and tossed it into the basket. “So what?” I asked, my embarrassment turning into anger. “I don’t care if you take a girl for a walk.”

  “She’s a nice girl,” he said. “You’d like her.”

  “I doubt it,” I snapped. “I don’t like many girls.”

  “But you’d like this one. I’m sure of it.”

  I stood taller and put my hands on my hips like Momma always did when she was mad. “Don’t tell me who I’d like, Luke Talley. It ain’t for you to say. And what difference does it make if I like her, anyhow? You can court and marry anyone you want.”

  It was Luke’s turn to get riled, and he said, “Who said anythin’ about marryin’? I ain’t gettin’ married. I saw her twice, that’s all.”

  “Well, what’re you yellin’ at? Get married. Don’t get married. I’m just sayin’ it don’t mean nothin’ to me.”

  “Well, fine then!”

  I nodded at him firmly. “Fine!”

  I expected him to charge off, but instead he folded his arms and sighed loud and long. I took my laundry basket and headed toward the line to hang up the wet clothes. He grabbed the basket from me.

  “I got it,” I told him.

  “Ain’t no time I ever stood by and watched a girl carry somethin’ heavy. I ain’t gonna start just because I’m mad.”Luke about threw the basket down onto the grass in front of the line before saying, “You do beat all. I came here to make sure you didn’t think I didn’t want you around, and you end up gettin’ all fired up.”

  “Don’t go doin’ me no favors.” I shook out Momma’s wet apron and stuck one clothespin in my mouth before finishing, “Don’t need no favors.”

  “I can’t talk to you any which way when you’re all het up. I best leave you alone before I say somethin’ I’ll regret.” He started to walk away and kicked a stone hard enough to send it ringing against the tin roof on Daddy’s shed.

  “Where you goin’?” I asked, grinning because Luke had jumped when he heard that stone hit the tin.

  “Gettin’ outta here, like I said.”

  “All right.” I sighed. “If you ain’t wantin’ supper.”

  Luke stopped cold like he’d forgotten all about supper, but the minute I reminded him, there was no mistaking the smell of Momma’s roast. I figured he’d change his mind once he remembered the food.

  Despite my being angry with him a few minutes earlier, I didn’t want him to miss supper any more than he wanted to, so I said, “Best help me hang up these clothes, then. Faster we get it done, the faster we eat.” I smiled at him coyly.

  He shook his head and grabbed some wash and a handful of clothespins. “Like I said, you beat all. One minute you’re yellin’ at me, and the next minute you’re invitin’ me to supper. I can’t figure you out.”

  “Maybe you best not try to, then.”

  Luke fumbled to pin up Daddy’s work socks and dropped one of them square in the dirt. “Dangit!” he said in a loud whisper. “Now look what I done.”

  I laughed at him and kept on hanging the wash.

  “You think it’s funny, do ya? I dirtied up your daddy’s sock.”

  “Just smack it out. Most of the dirt’ll fall off. Anyway, it’s just his work sock.”

  I watched him as he carefully picked a leaf off the sock and then smacked it against the clothesline post, and I laughed quietly so he couldn’t hear.

  He inspected the sock closely before shaking his head with a low whistle. “It came clean good enough.”

  “What’re you so worried about?” I asked. “You act like gettin’ that sock dirty would be your death knell.”

  “Maybe it would, bein’ it’s your daddy’s sock.”

  “You afraid of my daddy?”

  “I am, and I ain’t afraid to say so. He ain’t no man to fuss with.”

  “It ain’
t fussin’ to dirty a man’s sock by accident. Besides, Daddy ain’t killed no one to my knowin’ . . . yet.” I raised an eyebrow at him and smiled.

  We were interrupted by Momma calling for supper, and I finished pinning up Momma’s dress and followed Luke inside. I suddenly didn’t care about that Peggy girl anymore as I watched him open the door for me. After all, she wasn’t having supper with him nearly every night, was she?

  Chapter 9

  I never heard much else about Peggy from Luke. I guessed he must have lost interest in her, and my sincerest wish was that I’d never hear him talk about another girl as long as I lived . . . unless it was me.

  We were coming up on the Independence Day holiday, and I was anxious for the fireworks. It was the social I wasn’t so sure about. Just like every year, everybody would gather at the barn on Otis Tinker’s farm for some guitar playing, dancing, and plenty of food. It had always been something that I looked forward to. That was when people talked to me, though.

  But Momma, she looked forward to it even more this year because she’d been craving company lately. I didn’t know why she figured on it being a good time because, the way I saw it, we were bound to be treated just as coldly there. If no one wanted to come by our farm, why would they want to come by our table at the social?

  Nonetheless, Momma was determined to go. It worked out that Luke was going to be there, so I decided to go along too. It couldn’t be too bad if Luke was around. And I didn’t want to miss out on the homemade ice cream we’d find there or the good music. Otis Tinker was one of Daddy’s oldest friends, and Daddy would take his guitar to the party and join Mr. Tinker and his harmonica for a couple of songs. It made me happy to see him up there playing. He always seemed so happy when he was playing his music.

  Gemma didn’t want to go, and she made it clear to us at dinner the night before.

  “But you’ll miss the ice cream,” I told her.

  “I ain’t never gone, and I ain’t gonna start goin’ now,” she said, her voice very stern.

  It was true, I supposed, that she had never gone. Gemma and I had always kept company in different places. She’d gone to socials with her parents, but there weren’t any white people at those parties, same as there weren’t any colored people at ours.

  Gemma said as much in reply to Daddy’s urging her to go. “Ain’t never been mixin’ at those socials. I done caused enough trouble here. I ain’t gotta be stirrin’ up more just to get some ice cream.”

  I tapped my foot against my chair anxiously because I hated all these discussions about color and how Gemma and I had to be separated sometimes. But I knew it to be true, no matter whether it was right, and I was trying to figure a way we could make it work.

  Leave it to Luke to solve the problem.

  He came in to supper late, apologizing from the time he stepped in the front door. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am, Mrs. Lassiter,” he said, even though Momma had told him time and again to call her Sadie, “I done got caught up at the factory again.”

  “Ain’t no worry,” she said. “If it’s cold, we’ll heat it.”

  Luke shook his head and took his usual seat across from me, giving me that beautiful grin of his when he caught my eye. “Ain’t nothin’ gonna be too cold for me,” he told Momma. “Your food don’t need heat to taste plumb perfect.” Just as he was about to dig in to his shepherd’s pie, Luke pointed his fork at Gemma and said, “I done run into Boaz Jones on my way home today, and he says I should tell you you’re welcome to come to the social out at the church tomorrow evenin’. He’ll even pick you up on their way if you want.”

  “Now, there you go,” Daddy said with a snap of his fingers. “That’d be somethin’, now, wouldn’t it? What do you think about that, Gemma? Would you like to go to that social?”

  Gemma’s face lit up, and I imagined she was happy at the thought of doing something familiar for once since her momma and daddy died. She told Daddy she’d like to go, so we sent word to Boaz Jones that she’d be ready by seven thirty.

  The next evening, all of us sat on the front porch waiting for Boaz to pick her up. It was seven thirty on the dot when their old horse-drawn wagon drove up in a cloud of dust, and Boaz’s daughter, Rena, hopped out to tell Gemma to come on.

  I waved happily at her as they pulled away, but I watched her leave with a little sadness. I didn’t much like the fact that we couldn’t do everything together.

  Momma had made me a new dress out of green fabric, and I wore it to the social that night, hoping I might look older in it. She’d even helped me put my hair up, so I thought I looked almost sixteen, and I figured that couldn’t hurt me any in getting Luke’s attention.

  The barn was noisy by the time we got there, and I had to suck in my breath when we reached it to get used to all the cigarette smoke that filled the air. Those socials at Otis Tinker’s barn weren’t a thing like the church socials, and that was why Momma never let me go too far out of her sight.

  “You can’t never trust a drinkin’ man,” she told me every time we went. “Those rowdy boys can’t even be trusted sober. You just stay where your daddy and me can see you.”

  When we walked in, the music kept going, but the chatter didn’t. By the looks on people’s faces you’d have thought we were ghosts. Daddy smiled and nodded at people like nothing was any different and escorted Momma and me to a table. Everyone watched us curiously, and it wasn’t until they were satisfied that Gemma wasn’t with us that they began to talk again, although they were probably talking about us, not to us.

  It didn’t take me too long to spot Luke, but I didn’t much like what I saw. There he was dancing with Ginny Lee’s big sister and looking as happy as a pig in slop. He waved to us and tipped his hat at me, but he didn’t come over.

  I nodded at him and whipped my head around sharply. How dare that boy not come over to say hello to me right off? My evening was certainly not starting out like I’d hoped. I looked for someone else to talk to, determined that if Luke Talley was going to spend his evening flirting with girls, I wasn’t going to be caught dead standing alone and bored.

  The problem was there weren’t many people standing in line to make friendly talk with any of us. As I’d predicted, Daddy’s refusal to listen to people’s advice had put us in bad standing with most of Calloway, and we were getting as little attention as I’d feared we might.

  I eyed several boys, wondering if anyone would get the idea to ask me to dance, but the only one who got up the nerve was my daddy. He didn’t say a whole lot to me while we danced, and I could see that it hurt him to be rejected just as it hurt the rest of us. All the same, he kept a smile on his face and nodded at other couples as we passed by them, even though they didn’t nod back.

  About an hour and two bowls of ice cream later, I saw Ginny Lee standing by the lemonade. I wandered over to her, relieved to find someone who might think it worthwhile to talk to me. “Hey there,” I said. “Ain’t seen you in a while.”

  She smiled like she was embarrassed. “We just been busy, I guess.” Then she looked more serious and asked, “You been okay since you almost drowned? Your head heal up all right?”

  “Sure. It weren’t that bad.” I took a sip of my lemonade to fill the silence that followed. The two of us glanced around the room trying to find something to speak about. I started to ask her how her summer was going, but I stopped when I heard her momma calling for her. Ginny Lee and I looked across the room and saw her momma waving at her urgently. “Come on over here, Ginny Lee,” she called.

  Ginny Lee looked at me awkwardly and shrugged. “Guess she wants me for somethin’.”

  “Guess she does,” I replied.

  What I wanted to finish with was, “Guess she wants you to stop talkin’ to me,” but I stayed silent. I watched unhappily as she left me behind.

  When I got back to our table, Momma and Daddy weren’t there, so I searched for Luke, but he was still busy with his dancing. I turned my head away quickly so I didn’t hav
e to see him enjoying life without me, but it wasn’t much better to look at anyone else. Anytime I looked someone in the eye, they either turned around real fast or glared at me. The men in particular liked to glare, almost as if they thought they could read what I was thinking. At that moment, I sort of wished they could read what I was thinking about them because it wasn’t too nice, and I figured they deserved to be told just what they were. The problem was Momma would whip me silly if she caught me saying any of it.

  Upset and sick from too much ice cream, I headed out the back of the barn and breathed in the fresh, clean air. It wasn’t too quiet out there, but it was better to me than being inside. People’s bad feelings had spoiled the whole evening for me, much as they’d spoiled my summer so far. I much preferred the solitude of being outside.

  I wandered across the Tinkers’ property for a few minutes, and it wasn’t until I heard footsteps behind me that I remembered Momma’s warning to stay nearby. I whirled around and saw Buddy Pernell, dispelling my belief that he’d been murdered by his father. “Oh, it’s just you,” I said, breathing a sigh of relief. “You about scared the stuffin’ out of me.”

  Buddy didn’t say anything; he just smiled and stumbled up to me.

  “What do you want?” I asked. “I’m surprised you ain’t avoidin’ me like everyone else is.”

  “Now, Jessilyn,” he said in a kind of singsongy voice, “why would anyone want to avoid a girl like you?”

  I rolled my eyes and turned away from him with my arms folded. “If you just come out here to give me a hard time, you best get on back inside. All I’m wantin’ is a little peace and quiet.”

  Buddy took me by the shoulders and turned me around to face him. “Come on, now. You can share a little of your peace and quiet with me, can’t you? Besides, a girl as pretty as you shouldn’t be out here in the dark alone.” He was standing close to me then, and I realized for the first time that he smelled just like the liquor Momma kept in the cabinet for medicinal purposes.

  “You been drinkin’?” I asked, backing away.