Hot Fudge (A Loretta Kovacs thriller)

by Anthony Bruno

  “Here,” Sunny said sarcastically, flinging the mask that Marvelli had been wearing. “Accessorize.”

  With his hands full, Krupnick caught the mask awkwardly against his chest. “Thanks,” he said, unfazed by her sarcasm. “Don’t mind if I do.” He stripped down to his underpants and put on the complete leather outfit except for the mask, wearing the jacket zipped to the middle of his hairy chest. He fiddled with his crotch, getting himself adjusted. The pants had a codpiece where the fly should have been. “Hey, what do you think?” he asked, stuffing the mask into the jacket pocket. “Is this the new me or what?”

  Sunny shook her head like a stern mommy.

  “It looks nice,” Dorie said. “But what’s wrong with the old you?”

  Krupnick ignored her and strutted over to the cage. “What do you think?” he said to Marvelli.

  Marvelli looked up at him. “Black is very slimming. You look good.”

  “Thank you.” Krupnick did a few turns, then sashayed over to the door. “I’ll be back in a little while.”

  “What’re we supposed to do until you get back?” Dorie asked.

  Krupnick nodded at Marvelli. “Play with the Boy Toy. Sunny will show you how.”

  Sunny grinned malevolently, but Dorie just looked confused.

  “But don’t kill him,” Krupnick said to Sunny. “Wait for me.”

  He sounded dead serious. He walked out the door, stomping hard in his new jackboots. The door slammed shut behind him, rattling the armor again.

  Sunny stared at the armor.

  This is nuts, Marvelli thought as he rolled over onto his knees, then climbed to his feet. These people are nuts.

  “Come on,” he said to the women. “Let’s get serious here. Just let me out, and I won’t press charges.”

  Sunny burst out laughing, but she was clearly forcing it.

  “I don’t think we can do that,” Dorie said in a timid little voice. “Can we, Sunny?”

  Sunny ignored her.

  “Hey!” Marvelli shouted. “What the hell’s your problem, Sunny?” He’d had just about enough of her crappy attitude. “Dorie asked you a simple question. You can’t answer her?”

  Sunny turned on her heel and stared at him, her bowl cut shushing over her cheek in the wake of her abrupt movement. She crossed her arms and let her glare burn into him like a laser beam. “What’s your problem?”

  “Spare me the attitude,” he said. “I’m not impressed.”

  Sunny kept glaring at him. She started to circle his cage slowly.

  “You know, you’re the one with the problem,” he said, turning in place so he could stay in her face. “I’m usually not this rude, but you deserve it.”

  Sunny’s chest was rising and falling with her breathing.

  “What the hell’s wrong with you?” he said. “I’ve been trying to reason with you all day, but you’re like some kind of sado-maso windup doll. All you know is one thing, how to hurt people, and I don’t think you even enjoy it. You have to be just a little bit human to get off on that kind of stuff because if you can’t relate to what other people are feeling, then it means nothing to you. It’s just aerobics or … machinery.”

  Sunny was kneading her own biceps like a cat sharpening her claws.

  “Marvelli?” Dorie said. “I wouldn’t get her mad if I were you.”

  “Quiet,” Sunny snapped.

  “See, there you go again,” Marvelli said. “What’d Dorie ever do to you that you have to treat her like this? Does Krupnick like her better? Is that it? You’re jealous?”

  “Marvelli, don’t,” Dorie pleaded in a pained whisper.

  “No, I’m sorry, Dorie, but I’m not gonna shut up. Krupnick wants me dead and Sunny’s just itching to do it for him. Well, let me tell you something, Sunny. I want to live, and I’m gonna live. You know why? ’Cause I can’t die. I’ve got a daughter back home, and I’ve got Loretta, and I won’t do that to them. Loretta wouldn’t go dying on me, not if she could help it. That’s ’cause we have something special together, something real. But that’s something I don’t think you’d understand, Sunny. You have to be a human being with human feelings to understand that kind of thing. Dorie, I think you’d better explain it to her ’cause she doesn’t know what the hell love is—not real love.” Marvelli’s face was flushed, and his biceps were bulging. He looked like he was going to Hulk out and rip through the bars.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sunny said. Her words were like droplets of water falling into a sizzling hot wok.

  Dorie’s brows were slanted back, and she was biting her bottom lip. “Marvelli,” she squeaked, “I think you said the wrong thing.”

  Sunny could feel the tears welling in her eyes, but she kept her gaze locked on that bastard in the cage, refusing to let him or Dorie or anyone see her cry. No one would ever see her cry.

  “Sunny?” Dorie said. “Say something, Sunny.” You’re scaring me.

  And you’re annoying the hell out of me, Dorie, Sunny thought.

  But in fact she wished she could be like Dorie, a dizzy blonde who slid through life without a thought or a care or a qualm—que sera sera. Dorie didn’t know what it was like to have a brain and heart and soul that all worked together. She didn’t know about second thoughts and hard choices and fitting in. And she didn’t know a thing about how hard it is to make love work. It just sort of happened for her. Like, whatever.

  Well, it wasn’t that way for Sunny. It was a full-time job for her. No, it was more like a vocation, like being a nun who had to pray to God every waking minute of the day, never knowing if she was getting through to Him. She didn’t even know if she was getting a dial tone.

  Sunny stopped circling and stood in front of the door to the cage, her feet apart, her stiletto heels nailed to the floor as she stared at Marvelli and fought back the tears.

  These two didn’t understand what it was like, she thought. They had no idea. They were straights. They were breeders, for chrissake. Sure, Dorie fooled around with women, but only if there was a man in bed, too. She never really got involved with women. She just floated through the experience and let things happen to her until she got her turn with the man. Then she was happy.

  And Marvelli, what the hell did he know? He was vibrating on a Brady Bunch level, except that he took it all seriously. Mr. Lovey-Dovey longing for his lovely large Loretta, Sunny thought. Oh, please! The man cannot be for real. No one loves anyone like that anymore. No one that I know of. Marvelli’s living in a dream world. Love is negotiation, arrangement, and extortion. It’s strategy and compromise. It’s warfare. His lovely Loretta doesn’t think about him the way he thinks about her. She couldn’t. She’s a woman. Marvelli is a dinosaur. People like him just don’t exist anymore.

  But as she stared at him, she considered for a moment the impossible possibility that he was for real, that a few nice guys like this really did exist in the world.

  Well, if they do exist, she thought, then why haven’t I found one? What’s wrong with me? Why do I always have to be the freak? I’m tired of being the freak. I want to live in a big house in the Sonoma Valley with Agnes and Thaddeus. I want to open a mail-order business—lingerie, dom accessories, fantasy footwear. I want Dragon to run in open fields every day. I want to be freakin’ normal for a change!

  She stared at Marvelli with venom in her eyes. I hate you, she thought. I really, really, really hate you.

  She went to the door of the cage and unlocked it.

  “What’re you doing, Sunny?” Dorie asked.

  “I’m going to put your friend here to the test.”

  Marvelli frowned. “What’re you talking about?”

  Sunny took off her jacket and threw it aside. “You’re the poster boy for up-straight, monogamous, together-forever relationships, right? Well, I want to see how goody-two-shoes you are when opportunity comes knocking you over the head.” She kicked off her boots and started to undo her jeans.

  Marvelli’s mouth drop
ped. “Don’t come in here,” he said.

  “Tough,” she said, as she pulled down her fly. “I am going to seduce you, Marvelli. I am going to make you cheat.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  “Yes, I am,” she said. “Your little wang-dang-doodle will stand up and salute the flag, and I’ll just do the rest.”

  “Forget about it. It’s not gonna happen.”

  She stared at his crotch and grinned. “Are you standing at attention right now, Marvelli? Are you thinking about it? Who are you thinking about? Me or your lovely Loretta?” Sunny pulled off her top and let it drop to the floor. “How about I unzip you and we find out what you’re thinking?”

  “No!” Marvelli said, backing up into the bars. “Stay out.”

  “It’s gonna be good, Marvelli. I can promise you that. Why don’t you just relax and go with it? Come on, face facts. You don’t really love her the way you think you do.”

  “Stay out.” Marvelli was up against the bars, squirming uncomfortably.

  “Must be getting pretty tight down below,” Sunny said. She opened the door and stepped in. The cage was just big enough for them to stand up in—or lie down.

  “Get out, Sunny. This isn’t funny.”

  “Who said anything about funny?” She was grinning from ear to ear, still staring at his crotch. “Let me just relieve some of that pressure for you.”

  “Dorie!” Marvelli called out. “Help me out here. Do something.”

  But Dorie was pulling her sweater over her head, her jeans already a puddle on the floor. “Hang on, Sunny,” she said. “Wait for me.”

  25

  “I don’t like this,” Vissa said.

  “Just play along,” Loretta said out the side of her mouth. “Please?”

  A full moon cast long shadows on the sidewalk as they stood outside an old brick building on the outskirts of San Francisco’s Mission District. Most of the buildings on this block looked like they were abandoned, and so did this one, except that there was a long line of people waiting at the reinforced metal door, and a bouncer the size of Rhode Island standing guard, deciding who got in and who didn’t. The man’s head, face, and bulging arms were completely hairless, and Loretta wondered if he dipped himself in Nair every night.

  “We are not going to pass,” Vissa whispered into Loretta’s ear. “This guy will never believe that we’re lovers. And even if he does buy it, he’s still not gonna let us in. We look too normal.”

  In fact the people waiting to get in didn’t exactly look like the suburban Kmart crowd. There were three other couples in line before Loretta and Vissa. The pair of lipstick lesbians done up like runway vampires couldn’t keep their hands off each other. A thirtyish WASPy couple in riding boots and jodhpurs waited in icy silence with their arms crossed over their chests. Occasionally she’d thwap his bottom with her crop, and he’d look over and briefly smile admiringly at her. Two very pretty young men in motorcycle jackets and jackboots bitched and moaned loudly about the delay, making catty remarks about the bouncer, whose main duty seemed to be to ignore everyone around him.

  “Let’s just leave,” Vissa said, letting go of Loretta’s hand. “We won’t get in. And even if we do, then what? We don’t even know that Marvelli is in there.”

  Loretta grabbed Vissa’s hand back. “Look, I’m not exactly comfortable with this myself,” she said. “But can we at least try? For Marvelli’s sake?” She was trying to look natural, deliberately nuzzling shoulders with Vissa. Loretta had originally decided that she should be the femme because Vissa had the leather jacket, but now she was wondering if maybe they should switch roles. Loretta had to admit she had more of a butch attitude even though her outfit was pretty blah for this crowd—a white cotton blouse, jeans, and loafers. She looked down at Dragon. Vissa was holding him on the leash. At least they had him. He was basically back to his old self, which made him a good accessory for a couple of sexual adventurers. Now and then he’d still fuzz out, but a sharp tug usually snapped him out of it.

  “I wish we had a leather outfit for Dragon,” Loretta murmured. “A nice studded collar would help our chances.”

  “Ask if you can borrow his,” Vissa said, nodding at one of the leather boys who was wearing a spiky dog collar around his neck.

  “Think I should?” Loretta asked.

  “No, I don’t.”

  Just then the metal door opened a few inches and Mr. Rhode Island leaned into the crack. Someone was there, but Loretta could see only the outline of a face. The bouncer nodded, and the door closed. Finally he acknowledged the people in line right in front of him. He narrowed his eyebrowless eyes and scrutinized the first four couples.

  Loretta glanced at the vampire girls who were all over each other. They were a shoo-in.

  “Kiss me,” Loretta whispered urgently to Vissa.

  Vissa reared back. “No way.”

  “Come on,” Loretta pleaded. “We won’t get in.”

  “Forget about it.”

  “Please?”

  “No.”

  “Just a little one?”

  But the bouncer had already made his choices. “You two.” He pointed to the horsey couple. “You two.” He pointed to the leather boys. “And you three.” He pointed to Loretta, Vissa, and Dragon.

  “Hey!” the taller of the two vampire girls protested.

  “Yeah, hey!” the smaller one echoed. They both made faces and whipped their jet-black manes with maximum attitude. “What about us?”

  The bouncer shook his head. “You two are too into each other. If you can’t share, you don’t belong here.”

  “We can share,” they whined in unison like a couple of alley cats.

  “Not tonight,” the bouncer said.

  They both gave him the finger in unison and clicked off on their stiletto heels.

  “Now what?” Vissa whispered nervously.

  “Just go with the flow,” Loretta said under her breath as they shuffled toward the door.

  “I don’t share,” Vissa said through gritted teeth.

  “Just be open-minded.” Loretta was just saying this to get Vissa to go in. Deep down Loretta felt the same way Vissa did. If anyone so much as touched Loretta, she’d break his—or her—or its—arm.

  As they passed the bouncer, Loretta could feel the thumping beat of industrial music coming from inside. She and Vissa followed the horsey couple through a narrow entryway that was lit with black lights, which made everyone’s complexion purple. Another burly character with long lilac hair down past his shoulders stood at the next doorway at the end of the hall. “Twenty-five each,” he said to the horsey couple.

  “You pay,” Loretta whispered to Vissa.

  “Why me?”

  “I’m the femme, you’re the butch. You have to pay.”

  “You’d better pay me back,” Vissa grumbled.

  “Put it on your expense account,” Loretta said. “Julius will reimburse you.”

  “I doubt it,” Vissa mumbled. Having left her bag in the car to complete the butch look, she dug into her front pocket for some cash and paid the lilac-haired bouncer.

  He counted the bills, then shook his head. “Him, too.” He was pointing down at Dragon.

  “You’re kidding,” Vissa said.

  “We’re capitalist pigs here. He could get his rocks off, too.” He gave Dragon a scrutinizing look. “He’s a male, right? Someone will definitely want him. Count on it.”

  As Vissa shelled out another twenty-five dollars, Loretta cringed inside. She wasn’t going to let Dragon out of her sight. That was cruelty to animals.

  They went through the entryway, and it was like falling through the looking glass. The heavy bass of the music pounded against Loretta’s chest. A huge dark room with a jam-packed dance floor and a bar against one wall was lit only by red and blue revolving police lights and a few strategically placed white spotlights. Several crammed hallways led off the main room where people fought to get in and out like bees in a hive.

&
nbsp; But it was the people themselves who Loretta couldn’t get over. Run-of-the-mill flamboyant gays seemed downright normal compared to some of the freaks who wandered across the dance floor. Young guys with tattooed faces. Women with body piercings in places that made Loretta queasy. People with ritual scarification on their arms, legs, and faces. There were businessmen in expensive suits who could have been Lucifer’s lawyers for all Loretta knew. And there were blonde bombshells so sexy Loretta wondered if they were really women. Even the ones Loretta could identify as transvestites made her envious, they were so pretty. There was lots of black leather around the room—miniskirts, motorcycle jackets, jeans, jumpsuits, boots. A woman in a leather bustier and a beehive hairdo was leading a skinny young man in a leather thong and combat boots around the room on a leash.

  “Heel,” she said in a cool commanding voice as she yanked on his collar. “Heel.”

  He rolled his eyes to her and smiled blissfully as he followed her orders faithfully.

  Loretta looked down at Dragon. “You see that?” she said. “Learn something.”

  The dog just looked up at her with pitiful eyes that struggled to focus. He looked pathetic. This was no place to be when coming down from the kind of high he’d been on.

  Vissa leaned into Loretta’s ear. “Can we do this quick and get out of here?”

  “Definitely,” Loretta said. “I doubt that they’d take Marvelli out on the dance floor, but Sunny and Krupnick are sick people, so just to be sure, check out the guys in masks, especially the ones who’re tied up.”

  Vissa nodded. “I’ll check the halls on this side of the room. You take that side. I’ll meet you back at the bar in a half hour.”

  “Fine,” Loretta said. “But let me have Dragon. I look too normal without him.”

  Vissa handed her the leash and waded into the crowd. Loretta looked away for a second when she saw an Asian woman she thought might be Sunny passing by. It turned out to be someone else, but when Loretta looked back, Vissa had disappeared into the crush.