by Lori Leger
“Not a thing, but man I wish it was me twirling your hair like that. God, I can’t wait to see you in Hawaii.”
She released a groan. “Me either. Tell me about it again, Ben.”
He leaned close to the monitor. “What do want to hear about, babe? The perfect Hawaiian weather, the beautiful white beaches, pristine waterfalls—or what I’m gonna do to you once I get you all to myself?”
Her lips parted and one brow rose provocatively, drastically raising the tempo of his already thudding heart.
“Let’s see …”
She pursed those lips he could imagine wanting to kiss even when he was old and gray.
“I can always Google the weather conditions on Oahu. I guess I am a little curious as to what you think you’ll do to me when you get your hands on me over there. You’ll need my permission, you know.”
His chest rumbled with his reply before he even spoke the words. “Oh, I’ll have your permission.”
She coughed delicately. “You’re sounding mighty sure of yourself, Corporal Bonin.”
“I am. I’m sure of a lot of things, like how you won’t be able to keep your hands off of me.” His grin and wink made her burst into that throaty laughter that had him wanting to reach through that monitor and pull her back to his side.
She pointed a finger at the center of the screen. “Well, I’m not into skeletons, Benjamin, so you’d best start putting away some food. I want to see you with some meat on your bones. Speaking of which, you should be getting another package of goodies soon. I mailed them right after our last phone call. Chock a block full of Ramen noodles and oatmeal, your two favorite things. And I still can’t believe you mix those two foods together to eat.” She shuddered visibly. “Yuck.”
“Don’t change the subject, Haley.”
“Did I?”
“We jumped from what I’m going to do to you in Kaneohe Bay, to food. I eat enough. You know we sometimes trim the excess off the packs to make it easier to travel the terrain. By the time you see me in May, there’ll be more than enough of me to latch onto.” He slapped his chest playfully. “My face always thins out first, but there’s a hell of a lot more going on under this gear than meets the eye. Trust me.”
She nodded, her eyes softening a bit. “I do, Benjamin. With all my heart.”
Ben sobered for a moment before leaning in close, and placed both hands on either side of the monitor. Haley braced herself, predicting some heart-wrenching statement that would make her even more crazy about him than she already was.
“Listen to me, Haley.”
She leaned forward. “I’m listening.”
“I wouldn’t be thinking about all the things I want to do with you over here, if I didn’t care about you; if I didn’t already suspect that you wanted the same thing. This isn’t a game, to either of us. I know that about you, as well as myself.”
Haley swallowed hard at his admission. I know you want me, but do you love me, Ben? Do you go to sleep praying not to wake up if God takes me because you don’t want to live in a world that doesn’t include me? Because that’s what I do—every night—that’s what I do. She lassoed all the possible comments, herding them to a silent corner of her conscience.
“No, it’s definitely not a game.” No way would she pour her feelings out to him during a Skype session, with no telling how many Marines, among others, listening in on their conversation. She studied him, his brown military issued skull-cap pulled down over his ears for warmth. Ben’s breath turned to white puffs due to condensation from the cold. It irritated her to think he had no place he could go to warm up. “No heat in there?”
He shrugged. “I suppose they’re running low on fuel for the generators again, and wood too for the heaters. It’s no big deal.”
“I can’t help but worry about you over there.” Ben adjusted the cap and tugged at the jacket that covered the multiple layers of undergarments he needed to keep warm during the cool Afghan winters. “What’s the temperature over there?”
Ben cocked his head to one side, giving her a smug grin. “Really? We’re talking about the weather now?”
She smiled, wishing she could kiss that smugness right off of his face. “Yes we are. Have you seen any snow yet?”
“Actually, there were a few flakes floating around as I walked over here.” He turned in his chair as though to check something out. “Yep, it looks like we’ll have a little on the ground by morning.” He swiveled back around to face her. “It’s probably around thirty degrees out there, but I’m warm enough. Can we get back to business, now?”
“Sure, tell me what the temperature will be like in Kaneohe Bay when I go in May.”
Ben threw both hands in the air and laughed. “I give up. The girl is bound and determined to change the subject on me.”
She beamed at him as Paisley crawled back onto her lap for a rub down. “I tell you what, Ben, Whatever you have ‘planned’ for me, I’m sure I’ll love it.” She leaned forward to let her next words hit their mark. “Every. Single. Second.”
He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing before issuing a long, low groan. “Aw, man.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m thinking I’d give anything to be that dog right about now, that’s all.”
Haley glanced down at Paisley, four paws in the air, enjoying the belly rub from her mistress. She lifted her gaze to meet Ben’s intense stare. “I’ll pencil you in for a belly rub, babe, I promise.”
“Don’t think I’ll let you forget that, either.”
“I won’t forget.” She leaned in close and gave him a seductive wink. “As a matter of fact, I’ll rub down anything you want me to.”
“Anything?”
She nodded. “Anything.”
He issued another low groan before letting his head fall with a loud thump onto the table.
“Suck it up, Marine,” she said. “It’s less than a year now, and—”
He popped his head up to finish for her. “And what’s a year compared to forever?”
She smiled. “It’s nothing, Ben. One year is absolutely nothing compared to forever.”
Ben and the rest of his four-man team crossed the canal at its narrowest point, taking turns trudging through the waist deep water. A mile or so later, they did the combat boot version of tip-toeing south, past a Taliban village in the dead of the night. For a change, the wind was on their side, allowing them to travel without setting off the usual cacophony of barking dogs—the Taliban’s version of ADT home security. Damn local dogs—those sons of bitches were a real pain in the U.S. military’s ass. Another 200 meters got them where they were expected to pull off the mission. It was an ideal position, surveillance wise, but a dangerous choke point if anything compromised their location. Unless they could pull a Jesus and walk on water, the mile wide Helmand River at their back was a no-go as an escape route. With each man carrying approximately a hundred and fifty pounds of supplies, the deep canal in front of them was also un-crossable.
Ben and his TL dug into the canal’s berm, creating a hide site big enough for the two of them, while the other two found stayed behind them and found suitable vegetation for coverage. By sunrise, they had settled in, completely hidden from the enemy, and overlooking a muddy field. The second team set up five hundred meters straight ahead of them, while the known Taliban village of Krum sat six hundred meters to the left of Ben’s team.
He stifled a yawn and grabbed his binos to check out the area. Several farmers passed them on the way to work in their fields, and Ben made a silent bet with himself on how long it would take to get some Taliban activity. Instead, a movement at the end of the berm caught his eye, causing a severe roiling in the pit of his stomach. “Hey, Sarge. We got a kid and his dog heading this way.”
“Oh, man, are you serious?” He picked up his own binos to confirm. “Well, sure e-fucking-nough. Here he comes. Nothing to do but wait until he gets close enough to see us. If he doesn’t catch sight of us, that mangy ass d
og of his will,” he growled. “All we can do is haul ass back to the crossing point before he gets a chance to run home and tell his Taliban daddy. We’ll have to make it there before he and his buddies, or they’ll sure as shit cut us off.”
They waited until the kid was practically inside their dig-out before Balls jumped up. He pointed an MK in the kid’s face, and the poor thing looked as though he was about to shit his pants. The snarling dog bared his teeth and the rifle shifted directions, right at the animal’s head. The kid, obviously afraid for his companion’s life, pulled the dog back by its scruff and turned pleading eyes toward the Marine.
“Go ahead.” Balls flicked the barrel of his firearm in the direction of the village. “Go back and tell your pop we’re here.” Everyone knew the kid didn’t understand a word of English, but it wouldn’t stop him from doing exactly that. The kid turned and ran back the direction he’d come from. His dog gave them a few half-assed snarls, and then followed suit.
“Shit. Call main, Badge. Tell ‘em we’re RTB. Let’s move out.”
“Roger that, Sarge.”
Ben shoved his spotting scope, binos, logbook, and thermals into his go-bag. He and Balls jumped off the berm to meet the others. They got their rucksacks on as Badge and D-Dub held security, and then did the same as the other two packed up the radio and their own gear.
Ben took the lead, setting the pace for the others. Under normal circumstances, he could run a mile with a hundred and seventy-five pounds strapped to him with no problem. Add the complications of muddy fields and sleep deprivation, and it raised the difficulty bar by several points. His mud-caked boots fought for solid ground as he kept his rifle pointed at the village and compounds they’d snuck quietly by the previous night. Ben kept a constant check on his flanks, and prayed the berm wasn’t hiding a group of hadjis preparing to attack. Adrenaline pumping through his body, he ran blind for a full mile without being able to see if the Taliban fighters would be there to intercept them at any second.
Dead tired and dragging their asses, the four of them arrived at the crossing, amazed they hadn’t heard the sound of men on motorcycles by then. They took a knee to check out the situation. The crossing was simply a canal that went from knee deep to waist high, with a cut out for the berm. The opposite bank contained lots of shrubs and vegetation—plenty of places for the hadjis to hide. The other three set up observation, watching for any movement on the far bank, as Ben waded through the water, extremely open to attack. Once he made it to the other side, he kept a close watch while the others crossed over.
Significantly less vulnerable but still in danger, they took a knee to wait for the second team to link up at their position. Thankfully, it happened quickly and Ben led the two teams at a full out run all the way back to the PB in broad daylight, and with a failed mission under their belts—two of the most unwelcome situations for any sniper unit.
No sooner had the eight men crossed into friendly lines than Main called in. The FOB’s Aerostat blimp had picked up images of their abandoned hide site being overrun by nine hadjis armed with AK’s. Armed with that information, Ben dragged ass to his spot at the PB, exhausted and thirsty. He downed the bottles of water they had waiting for him and peeled off his gear, too damned wiped out to think of anything—not even how easily shit could have hit the fan. He dropped onto his cot and fell asleep within seconds.
“Bones, I gotta talk to you, man.”
Ben’s eyelids fluttered open at the sound of urgency in D-dub’s voice. “What?” He sat up quickly, throwing his legs over his bed.
“She dumped me, Bones.”
His forehead pulled down in a frown. “Who?”
“Samantha, my girl—she dumped me.”
“Shit man. I’m sorry about that.” He craned his neck to look up at his buddy. “You okay?”
“Hell no, I’m not okay. She told me she’d wait for me and now she’s not.” He shrugged. “I mean, I ain’t gonna slit my wrist open or anything like that. But this sucks, you know?”
Ben gazed up at his buddy, truly sick at heart for him. God knows how he’d feel if Haley threw him aside. He’d be a basket case. “How’d she tell you?”
“Over the fucking sat phone.”
“I mean, how’d she actually say the words? Was she a bitch about it?” God help her if she was. He hoped like hell she hadn’t flaunted a new man under the poor bastard’s nose.
“No. She was crying when she said it. In fact, it didn’t sound like she even wanted to do it.” He scratched at his head. “Something sounds off, man.”
“Well, shit, bro. I don’t know what to tell you. Sit on it for a while and try talking to her again later?”
“If she even answers my calls, man. She told me it’d be best not to call her back.”
Ben rested a hand on his buddy’s shoulder. “She could change her mind, D. Maybe she needs time to think about things. You don’t know what’s going on over there.”
D-dub stood abruptly. “That’s what bugs me. I don’t know what the hell’s going on over there.” He shook his head, opened his mouth as though to speak, and closed it. Without another word, he spun around and walked away, leaving Ben to watch his retreat.
Ben fell back in his cot, determined to get a little more shut-eye, but he couldn’t keep D-dub’s predicament from his mind. What would he do if Haley told him not to bother calling back? What kind of shape would he be in if she decided not to wait for him?
Like shit warmed over.
He couldn’t help but wonder if this situation would influence D-dub’s performance during missions. Hell, something like that could upset the entire team. Any single thing one man did out there, had an effect on the rest of the team. Was it even worth taking the risk of having a girl back home if there was the slightest possibility she would dump you?
Ben closed his eyes, pulled up the mental image of Haley, all soft innocence and smiling one minute, and sexy as hell the next.
Was she worth taking the risk?
He smiled, remembering the feel of his hands wrapped around her waist, his fingers in her hair, the look on her gorgeous face, down to the freckles on her sun-kissed nose. Then he thought of the sparkle in her eyes every time she graced him with one of her beautiful smiles.
Hell yeah, she was worth the risk … but only sometimes.
Like every damned second of every damned day.
The last failed attempt behind them, Ben’s team planned a follow-up mission, this time completing it successfully. They hoofed it back to the patrol base in a miserable light drizzle that only added to the piss-poor travel conditions of the already soggy soil. During the trip back, the skies darkened, rolling with thunder and the promise of a full blown storm. They RTB’d about an hour before sunrise, thankfully before the heavens opened to release the deluge it had threatened for hours. For a place that got virtually no precipitation, it seemed to be getting its yearly allotment of rainfall in a single week.
No sooner had they reported in, they received the news of another fallen brother. No one on Ben’s team had known the Marine personally, but that didn’t matter. Out here, the loss of a Marine brother hit everyone hard. Without fail, everyone’s first concern was “Who did he leave behind?” This particular Marine departed this world leaving a wife with no husband, and a two-year-old son with no daddy. That tragedy, along with the miserable weather, made for a darkened mood among the sniper platoon.
Ben hit his corner of the hesco wall and dropped his gear. He sat for a good ten minutes, exhausted to his core, wanting nothing more than to hear a voice from home. As though God had answered his personal prayer, D-Dub appeared, his face a mask of somberness, despite the good news he delivered.
“Hey man. Thought you’d want to know, the SAT phone’s free if you want to call your girl.”
Ben stood quickly. “Thanks man, I appreciate it. Did you call Samantha yet to see if she’d changed her mind?”
“I did, bro. Some dick answered the phone. Guess I got the answer
I was looking for.”
Ben paused long enough to cast a concerned eye over his brother. “Damn, D, that sucks. I’m sorry about that. You all right?”
D-Dub shrugged and passed a hand through his hair. “Screw her, man. There are plenty of women out there who’ll appreciate what I do. I don’t need shit like that in my life.”
“You got that right.” He placed a hand on D-Dub’s shoulder anyway, feeling blessed for having Haley.
“Besides, it’s quicker this way, you know what I mean?”
“I guess so. I’m sorry man,” he mumbled, as his friend preceded him out of the tent. “I’m gonna go make that call, now. But you be sure and let me know if you need to talk or something, okay?” He slapped his buddy on the back and went in search of the phone, praying he’d have a clear enough signal to get through.
Two minutes later, he heard the familiar ringing of a stateside phone, and despite the cold, he sat there sweating over whether she would pick up or not. Finally, a frantic voice picked up.
“Ben?”
“It’s me, Haley.”
“Oh my God, it’s good to hear your voice. I heard the phone ringing when I was showering, and I had this feeling it was you.”
“I interrupted your shower?”
“Yes, and I’m dripping all over the tile. I’m freezing my butt off, as a matter of fact.”
“Want me to call ba—”
“Don’t you dare hang up this phone. I’ve been dying for some word from you. I wasn’t expecting it tonight. Is something wrong?”
He turned to motion at another Marine who’d also arrived to use the phone. “Not with me. I’m fine, but it’s been a crappy day. I wanted to make sure you knew I was all right. Can you call my folks for me?”
“I surely will do that. God, you don’t know how much I miss you.”
“I think I do, babe. I can’t talk long, Haley. But, I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you being there for me.”
“Ben, what else is going on?”
“A couple of things. We uh, we lost someone yesterday.”
“Oh no. Somebody you knew?”
“No, not from my team or anything, but damn, he had a wife and kid, Haley.” Her breath escaped in a half sob. He should have known the news would make her cry, as soft-hearted as she was.