by Becca Lee
He nodded in understanding. “He’ll show up eventually.” I looked out into the water as he spoke. “He’s a dumb twat and a meth-head. He’ll turn up.”
Bobbing my head at his words I had no doubt if anyone could make David magically appear, it would be Mace. Preston had since made it to shore, allowing for a topic change. “I think we’re going to go wash up and then head out for food and drinks. Sound good?”
He grunted. “Hell yes. Anything to get me off this God-forsaken beach. I’ve got sand between my arse cheeks, for shit’s sake. How the hell did that happen?”
I burst out laughing as he stood. “Nothing a shower won’t fix. Come on. Let’s head back.”
Once all of the boys dragged their tired arses out of the sea, we headed to the campsite and washed up. Once changed, we walked the one kilometre into town, passing a sex shop on the way. Rob, one of Preston’s buddies, called out, “We need to stop in there after food.” I grinned, totally down with that. The thought of buying something to play with in the bedroom with Jo sounded like a bloody awesome idea. It could easily be put high up on my list of how to beg for Jo’s forgiveness.
Our sex life was still great, despite the pregnancy and ignoring the last week’s events. About a couple of months ago, I’d almost turned her down as she was gagging for it all the time. She near enough wore my dick out. In the last few weeks, though, she was always exhausted. It took a hell of a lot of determined foreplay to get her to spread her legs. Rather than my dick almost wearing out, my tongue had never ached so goddamn much.
All of us nodded in acceptance of Rob’s plan, while Mace rolled his eyes. I had no idea if he was getting laid on a regular basis, but according to his constant tension and pissed-off state, I assumed not. I’d have to have a chat with Jo and see if she or El knew of anyone they could fix him up with. It was becoming that desperate. The fact I was worried about my bloody brother’s sex life was disturbing enough to force my hand into doing something about it.
After a couple of games of pool, where the Mason brothers were pretty much kicking arse, we settled down to eat. Looking around the table, I realised I was damn lucky to be surrounded by a good group of blokes. Life was filled with pricks at times; I’d met many over the years and I was grateful, especially considering how my own life was changing with my impending fatherhood, that I had friends who I could trust.
I looked across at my young brother-in-law, knowing his own life was becoming increasingly similar to my own. “How’s life playing house, Preston?” I asked.
Preston leaned back in his chair, finishing off his mouthful of food, a self-satisfied grin on his face. “Pretty awesome.” He nodded, still grinning like a fool.
“El not driving you bonkers yet?”
Preston laughed. “Don’t get me wrong, she gets pissy with me when I leave the loo seat up, but I know her weaknesses. She gets over it pretty quickly.”
Scoffing, Mace shook his head. “I swear to God, the pair of you are pussy-whipped.”
“That may be the case, brother, but at least I’m getting some regularly. If it means I put the toilet seat down to keep Jo sweet, I couldn’t give a rat’s ass. Unlike you!” I raised my brows in challenge, relieved I hadn’t told anyone about the tongue cramps I’d been suffering with recently.
Taking a pull of his beer, Mace then placed it on the table and picked up his fork. “Don’t you worry about me, brother. I get enough, and I don’t need a hormonal woman ruling the roost, telling me what I can and can’t do in my own goddamned house. No, thanks.”
“So, you plan to always be single?” Rob asked around a mouthful of food. I didn’t know Rob too well, despite knowing him for years, but he was a good buddy of Preston’s.
“Yep, that’s right. I’ll be the bachelor who you idiots will be damn well envious about in a few years. Just you see.”
I shook my head at Mace, gutted for him and his own losses. I knew why he was so anti-relationships, but to close himself off from any chance of his own family seemed crazy to me. “Never say never, Mace. You know you’re tempting fate right there.” I grinned at the frown sitting on his face.
“If you witness me even contemplating playing house with some chick, you have free reign to bitch-slap me.”
The table erupted in laughter. I was sure each of us was looking forward to the time when we could take hard-arse Mace up on his offer.
Laughter still surrounded our group as we left the pub. With the worry of my dad, my mum’s passing and my anxiety surrounding Jo, on top of the general day-to-day stresses of running my own business, I hadn’t realised how wound up I was. A boys’ weekend of surfing, drinking and talking shit was just what I needed.
We headed into the adult store, grinning like idiots. There was nothing like the thought of sex toys to make grown men act like teenagers. Rob was loading up with all sorts of weird supplies, forcing amused glances between Mace and me.
“Who the hell is the butt plug for?” Mace asked in mild amusement.
Rob grinned like a horny teenager. “Don’t knock it, mate. I’ve got a his-and-hers set here.”
Laughter erupted between us when I took in Mace’s look of horror. “What the hell? You shove one of those up your own arse? Why the hell would you do that?”
Rob walked toward us, his smile still fixed. “One of these babies in your arse while your woman goes down on you…I swear to God, your orgasm will be tenfold. It’s bloody magic.” He winked and headed over to another section.
Turning to Mace, I nudged him. “It’s your birthday soon. I can buy you one to try out if you want.” Humour laced my words, desperate to see Mace’s reaction.
Giving me the stink eye, Mace frowned. “You buy me anything intended for my arsehole, you’ll be finding yourself with sore balls for a week.”
I chuckled, leaving him to look at the wall of vibrators.
“Dude.” Preston stopped by me. “Seriously, I can’t even be near you while you look at this shit.” He shuddered, making my grin grow wider. No doubt if I had a sister and her man was looking at vibrators, I’d feel the same way.
“Get a grip and just buy something sweet for El. She’ll thank you for it.” I reached out and picked up a giant pink and purple vibrator. I hoped the feminine look would win her over. I also spotted a blue bunny-eared contraption. Reading that it stimulated the clit, I grabbed two varieties. They were just what I needed to stop my tongue from getting cramped. Heading to the counter, a black suction-like device caught my eye.
Looking around the room, all of the boys were focused on something else. I swooped one up and headed straight to the cashier. Putting them down, the middle-aged woman grinned as she scanned my purchase and bagged them. “Looks like some lucky woman is going to be on the receiving end of these.”
I smirked in response, a little embarrassed. “My wife’s pregnant,” I offered in way of explanation.
“Ahh!” she answered with a knowing smile. “In that case, you may want to grab some massage oil and some lubrication. You’ll be needing that, too.” I nodded as she rung them up and put them in my bag. “Also her nipples will be mighty tender, and would be a great erogenous zone at the moment. How about we pop in some nipple clamps?”
Once more, I nodded. I could see my goods through the plastic bag and wanted it safely tucked under my arm before the boys headed over. I was pretty sure she could have offered me a strap-on at that point and I would have accepted it.
“Here you go then.” I handed her my credit card and took the bag from her, just as Mace appeared at my side.
Typing in my pin, I offered my thanks when she then gave me my receipt. I looked over at Mace. “You buying anything?” He showed me a DVD he was buying. Damn. I reconsidered my purchases and wondered if Jo would be up for a porno. We’d watched a couple over the years, but it had been a while.
“You know, sitting by yourself watching a dirty movie is pretty lame.”
“Who said I’d be watching it by myself? As I said earlier, don’t worry about
me, Liam. I’ve got all bases covered.”
Knowing Mace the way I did, I knew he wasn’t full of it, either. But still, a quick lay rather than a good woman was not my version of happy. Not that I would say as much to Mace. I would definitely being having that chat with Jo when the time was right.
Chapter Fifteen
Jo
After being thoroughly pampered over the weekend and eating my weight in chocolaty goodness, I sat on the sofa watching TV. Buffy reruns were playing, my absolute favourite, giving me the opportunity to ogle and daydream about a Spike and Angel sandwich.
Liam had returned from his weekend away exhausted, but permanent-marker free, and wearing a content, albeit anxious smile. As soon as he’d arrived home, he’d hit the sheets to have a nanna nap. Usually, I would have been more than happy to join him, but we still had yet to talk things through, so I was not ready. Since his sleep, he’d spent some time in the office preparing for a meeting the next day. Over the years, we’d handled most client meetings together, but over the last month, I’d taken a step back, allowing Liam the opportunity to run things his way, in preparation for my maternity leave.
I was still unsure of how much time to have. While we were damn lucky to have our own business, it meant letting go, and luxuries like maternity pay, were a struggle. However, we’d already discussed I’d take as much time as I needed. The basic plan was for me to do some work at home as and when Liam needed me to. As long as I had my computer and design software, it was pretty easy to not leave Liam completely in the lurch.
Just as Buffy and Spike were about to break out in song, movement from the hallway drew my attention. From the colouring alone, I knew Liam was naked. My eyes travelled down his flat planes to land on what I assumed would be his bobbing cock. What I saw instead left me gasping for air and grabbing at my crotch, desperate to keep my need to pee in check.
“Holy mother of what the crud!” It was all I could come up with at the sight before me. I knew my eyes were as wide as saucers, with my brows lifted high upon my head.
He grinned and looked down at himself. “What do you think?”
My mouth flapped a little like a hyperventilating goldfish, tears spilling down my cheeks as snorts were ripped from my body. If this was his way of weakening my defences to forgive him and open up to him, hell, it may have just worked. There was no way I could feign distance with the vision before me. “What in knob’s name is that?” I snorted some more. “Please do not tell me it’s what I think it is?” I wiggled a little as I spoke, pressing my thighs firmly together. At any moment, I was likely to pee. “Why?”
He shrugged, still smiling, thoroughly pleased with himself as his hand clenched and unclenched around a pump of some sort. Long, black plastic tubing surrounded his dick. “Don’t you want me to be bigger?” His hand still going for it, I couldn’t withdraw my eyes, watching his length grow a little.
“A penis enlarger? Seriously?” I took deep, calming breaths.
“What? I thought it would be cool. I can make sure I make you come every time.”
I shook my head in disbelief and wonder, though I wasn’t exactly sure why I was so damn surprised. Liam’s randomness was not something new. “You know,” I stood, ready to make a dash for the toilet, “there are other ways of making me scream. Having a larger dick won’t necessarily do that.” I grinned. “Thanks for the thought, though. I think.” I waddled to the toilet, not daring to run in case my pee found it a perfect opportunity to slip out.
Once on the loo, Liam called out to me. “I’ve bought you something, too.”
I groaned into my hands, dreading what on Earth he would have bought me from a sex shop. Washing up, I headed to our bedroom to discover Liam looking pained. His brows sat in a frown and a light sweat had broken out on his forehead. “Gah!” he moaned. “Holy shit. It’s going to rip my dick off,” he panted between groans.
Swallowing back the laughter, but failing to hide my mirth completely, I asked, “Did you put lubrication or anything on before you put that thing on?”
“No.” His eyes were firmly planted on the contraption clamped around him. “Don’t just stand there, woman. Help me! I swear to God, it feels like if I pull any more, my knob is going to come off with it.”
Unable to hold back any more, laughter exploded from my lungs filling the room. “Oh, my God, wait until I tell El.”
Liam cut his eyes to me. Between gritted teeth, his voice was low. “Don’t you bloody dare.” He nodded toward a plastic bag on the bed. “There’s some lubrication in there.”
With peals of laughter riding me hard, I took hold of the bag, pulling out a gigantic vibrator. “My gift, I assume?” I grinned, excited at the thought of playing with it with Liam, even though the size made me double-take. The bunny-eared clit stimulator came out next, making me grin even wider. Liam and I had used a few toys in the past, but my little bullet was nothing like this baby. Damn, I couldn’t wait get started with this thing. I didn’t think he quite deserved the treat of him using it on me yet, but despite my desire to be cross with him, I found myself relaxing at his antics. I loved this stupid-arse man, regardless of the bollocks he had put me through.
Finally, I grabbed hold of a tube of lubricant. Taking it over to Liam, I squirted it around the visible base and rubbed it in with my fingers. I wriggled it around, not too gently as he wasn’t forgiven just yet, hoping some of the balm would work its way under. After a team effort and Liam’s voice becoming unnaturally high as I yanked a little too forcefully, with a pretty gigantic self-satisfied grin on my face, the plastic monstrosity came away in my hand.
Liam collapsed back onto the mattress. “Shit, I’m throbbing like hell. Damn that hurt. Thanks, babe.”
Tickled by the whole ordeal, I sat next to him, putting the enlarger on the bed. “You realise this is twice in less than a year your dick’s nearly dropped off, right?”
Raising his arm, he placed it across his eyes and breathed deeply, muttering incoherently.
“The third time, you may just do the trick permanently, buddy. And while I have my new friends, I much prefer the real thing.”
A cheeky smirk graced his lips. “So you’d be sad if it dropped off then?”
“Yes,” I answered around my amusement. “Yes, I would, so lay off anything penis-related for a while.”
He reached out to me and pulled me back against him, supporting me as I did so with my growing belly. “I can do that.” He kissed the top of my head. “I think I’m going to be out of action until tomorrow. But I can test one of these new toys out on you, if you want? Guaranteed to make you scream!”
My lady parts did a happy dance and squeal, completely supporting his idea, but my head stayed strong for a little while longer. While toys were so much more fun operated by Liam rather than myself, we needed to clear the air first.
My sigh signalled I was ready to talk, and Liam’s arm became rigid as he gripped me to his side. Before I had the chance to say anything, he spoke, voice low and near my head. “Every stupid decision I made was for the right reason, even though it was wrong. I know I should have told you.”
I angled my neck to look at him, still lying at his side on our bed. “I know, but lying sucks arse. You know I can’t handle it when you lie. Without trust, Liam, we’re nothing.” A pang shuddered through my heart. Sadness clouded my words as I continued, “I love you. I really do, and I do understand why you made the decision you did, but it wasn’t your decision to make. You can’t take my choices away from me.” I bit the inside of my cheek, preventing the torrent of emotions from bursting free. Ever since I was raped, a word which had taken me a hell of a long time to think let alone say, having trust and choice mattered the most to me. I’d had them brutally ripped from me seven years ago when the unimaginable happened. Liam knew this. It was that knowledge that cut me the most.
Closing his eyes against his own tears, which mirrored my own, Liam’s voice was rough. “Baby, I’m so bloody sorry. Never again. I pr
omise. I just wanted to make it all go away for you.” Tears balanced on his lashes when he opened his eyes and looked at me. “You think you hide your sadness, your pain…you think I don’t see it, feel it, but I do.”
There was no holding back. A steady stream of tears cascaded down my cheeks. My heart hurt. I hated this. I hated that I felt powerless as well as hated that Liam’s heart broke because of my own heartache.
“You’re so bloody strong, Jo, but I know that mask of yours too well.” He shook his head. “You’re not always honest with me or yourself. It’s my fault this has happened.” I made to speak, but he prevented me with a mirthless smile. “No, baby, it is. It’s my fault I’ve let you get away with it. Pretended that it’s all okay. Don’t get me wrong, I think we both honestly found closure a long time ago, but that doesn’t stop us both from hurting. So, I’m sorry for letting you down.”
Liam had me pegged; there was no denying it. Between my sobs, I managed a genuine smile when I looked through my sore eyes at him. “Okay. No more bullcrap. Deal?”
“No more bullcrap. Deal.” His salt-stained lips brushed against mine, with a tenderness and understanding that set my heart ablaze.
A new sense of rightness settled around my aching heart. I hadn’t realised there was a hollowness hidden away until Liam forced me to re-evaluate and look at it anew. Admitting your own deceptions to yourself was a whole different ballgame, one alien to me, but as thoughts of this fought with my body’s and heart’s desire to give in to the heat and love Liam offered, the reality and the truth of his words hit me.
He was right, something I rarely admitted, and a smile tugged at my lips at the thought. Liam pulled away, feeling me smile. He grinned in question, no doubt at my red, swollen face sporting a smile I was sure reached my eyes.
“I want.” I beamed at him, finally answering his initial question before our freeing talk. I was so pleased I could tell him exactly what I wanted and needed. Hell, there was no way I could survive in a relationship if I pussy-footed around when my needs were at stake. To hell with that.