Though, as I stared at the withering tiny body in the bed, I realized it didn’t matter. Whatever peace and happiness she had obtained from her love for this woman, it hadn’t interfered with her feelings for them. Knowing about it might taint them forever. Perhaps her path was better. Not knowing continued their respect for her. Yet. It also continued the charade.
No, they had to know. There was nothing wrong with her lifetime of love for this woman she’d shared so much with. Colton would likely be angry at me for interfering, but this was a shadow between us that weighed like lead on my shoulders. And if it wasn’t told, then I would be as ashamed of it as she was. It was time to bring it out in the open.
When she woke up.
Forty-five minutes later, Colton’s mother rushed into the room in riding clothes. She stopped abruptly when she saw Mona sleeping soundly. Her gait immediately changed to tiptoeing as she moved closer. She put a hand to Colton’s back and he chose that moment to join me in the corner.
She approached and grabbed my hand. “My son won’t introduce me, but I’m Sadie.”
I shook the hand that clung to mine. “Tess. Nice to meet you.”
“Is it?” She surveyed my face as if she had a million questions, the majority of which probably had something to do with her son.
Since I hadn’t forgotten that the first time she had seen me, I was more than a little disheveled I dropped my eyes to my hands. The warmth that rushed into my cheeks drew a bead of sweat at my temples.
“I need to take my coat off.” I disengaged my hand from hers. I stood and slipped off the jacket. Realizing we’d missed the lunch he asked me to, my stomach took that moment to complain loudly. He heard.
“Some date, huh? Let’s go get something in the cafeteria.” He slid a hand behind me and gave me a soft push toward the door.
“We’ll go with you,” his mom offered, obviously wanting to talk with her son. James reached out and restrained her.
“Let ’em go, Sadie.”
I could feel the tension in Colton as we exited the room, but kept my mouth shut. I should have been relieved his family was filled with drama similar to mine. I wasn’t. There were secrets between Grams and all of them, resentment between Colton and his parents that needed resolution, and obviously a flame between James and Sadie that hadn’t burned out. I recognized the way she leaned toward the man when we left.
We didn’t speak a word until food sat in front of us at a table. I wasn’t sure what to say.
“Your mother seems nice.”
He took a bite of a chicken salad sandwich and chewed. “She’s not.”
“I haven’t spoken enough to her to know and to be honest, I’m embarrassed.”
“Take my word for it.” He hadn’t even given her a chance, obviously.
I frowned. “Your word is based on what? Less than ten sentences since she showed up?”
“The words stopped a long time ago, Tess. They stopped when she decided to run away when life wasn’t what she wanted.”
“Are you sure that’s what happened? Have you talked to her?” A moment of confusion crossed his face. “Have you asked your dad about it?”
“No. I don’t think there’s anything about it that’s my business.”
“Are you kidding me? Everything about it is your business. You’re their son.”
“Dad and I talked a little. He said it was his fault, which is bullshit. The man is such a sap.”
“Why do you think that?”
“He’s taking the blame for her leaving. She’s the one that chose to go, not him. He stuck it out, even though he made an idiot of himself in the process, pining away for her the entire time.”
“He’s not pining. How do you figure that?”
Colton sighed. He put a hand to my face and ran his fingers down my cheek. “It’s old history and I’d rather keep it that way, okay? Let’s talk about something else. Let’s talk about last night.”
I glanced around the empty room to ensure we were out of earshot. It was a ridiculous move since we were the only ones in the sterile, dank area. “Why? We were drunk. And stupid.”
“No, we weren’t. Okay, maybe a little drunk, not stupid. But you know what they say—your true self comes out when you’ve had too much to drink.”
“Who says that—someone that wants an excuse for being stupid or crazy?”
He quirked a brow. “If that were the case, wouldn’t they say the opposite? Is that what you think it was? Crazy?”
“Of course, don’t you? I mean we keep—” I wasn’t sure what to say next. The legs of his chair screeched on the floor as he pulled himself closer. He put his thighs directly against mine, encasing me in their solidness. He was so close I could smell him. A flicker of heat burned in his eyes.
“We keep?” Colton ran his fingers lightly up my thigh and I trembled. He stopped only when he met the bend of my hip. His thumb grasped into the flesh of my upper thigh and even under the cloth, I felt the tingle of awareness. “What were you going to say, Tess?”
“That’s not fair,” I stared at his hand on my thigh.
“I don’t want it to be. I could care less about fairness. Or what my mother thinks of us, or whether things need to be neatly and tidily in control. You’re the one worried about all that crap. Yes, we were drunk—but was it stupid or crazy? I don’t know. I do know it was fricking awesome. So crazy or not, drop the guilt. And for god’s sake, I wish you’d stop running out as soon as you get your clothes back on.”
“I didn’t run, I—“
He growled. “You ran. As fast as your feet could take you. Look, this scares you. I get that. I really get that. Neither one of us seems to hold a good track record when it comes to—whatever this is.”
He had a point.
“Okay, I did run, but come on, let’s face it. This isn’t normal. It’s completely insane.”
“Speak for yourself. I prefer to call it . . . fun.”
“That, too but—”
He didn’t wait to hear what came after but; he leaned in and kissed me. Once again, my brain took a vacation and within minutes I had tangled my fingers in his hair and both his hands were splayed across my backside. He laughed against my lips and I pulled back. He was right, what was I getting all bent out of shape about?
I grinned. “Okay, it is fun.”
But my heart was telling me the real word was dangerous.
Chapter 23
Mona spoke softly when they entered the room, “There you are.” A smile flitted across her face and I knew it was an effort. The doctor reading her chart gave us a brief welcome, then returned to his papers. “It seems I am in worse shape than I expected. It doesn’t make sense that a person feels good until the doctors get hold of her. Then all the sudden, she has every imaginable ailment, up to and including pending death.”
Colton stilled, his fingers clenched. Until that moment I hadn’t even paid attention to the fact that he’d kept them interwoven with mine. Actually, everything about him tensed and I knew that of the three people in the room, whatever came next would be hardest on him. Out of compassion, I drew my thumb up and down his and I heard him exhale.
“What’s that supposed to mean, Grams?”
“Well, it appears the fall wasn’t caused by my incredible clumsiness and old age. Apparently, I have developed a tumor. Actually, a few of them, and they have weakened my bones. If Goliad hadn’t pulled me to the house, I probably would also have caught a serious case of pneumonia, or at least exposure.”
“Where were you when it happened?”
“In the back corral behind the barn. I took him some treats. He seemed pleased and since I was there, I combed him a bit too. He’s such a flirt. He has a way of getting attention that’s sooo like my Robert.”
Colton’s shoulders visibly sagged. I released my fingers from his grip then ran a hand up his back. Maybe it was a bit too personal but I persuaded myself that he was hurting—that he needed it. The hospital room was hot and sweat
gathered across my neck. I glanced around the room at the people that sat here, worried about this old woman that had survived so much. A woman, much stronger than they knew, and so filled with love. More than they could imagine.
“Grams,” Colton’s voice was thick and his words soft, “I think it’s time we gave it up with the horses. I know how much they mean to you, but you need to rest now. Take it easy for a while. They’ll understand. That promise you made to the town years ago has been filled. There’s no need to continue, someone else can do the carriages.”
The woman’s eyes clouded and she reached a bandaged hand up and swiped at her silver tresses. Even now, the hair seemed to flit in the wind like it had on the carriage. “I never cared about the promise to the town. It wasn’t about that. I made a promise to Chloe. It has to be kept. We all owe her that much.”
“Chloe’s gone, Mona.” James put a hand on his mother’s shoulder and massaged the thin flesh through her hospital gown.
I spoke then, finding my voice though it was also thick with the lump in my throat. “No, she’s not. She’s out there in the street.” I pointed back toward the carriage runs. “Mona, you have to tell them about her. They’ll understand.”
The old woman looked at me, confused for a second. Then her eyes hardened. “It’s impossible to explain.”
“You have to. They need to know how much she meant to you. For that matter, how much she meant to everyone.”
“They wouldn’t understand.”
“They would.”
“It was so long ago, it’s history. Old history and of no interest now. It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters. It mattered then and it still does. They have to understand—all of it.” I left Colton and moved to her side, grasping the bony fingers, beseeching her. “Tell them what you told me, they need to know.”
I knew they’d feel it and be okay, that while it had been a strange relationship. They’d understand it. It was odd that they knew the name of the woman, but nothing about her. Especially since she’d obviously saved Mona from the worst of perils.
“I can’t tell, it’s too embarrassing. I don’t want to bring up something like that. It was bad enough then. You should have seen Robert’s face when he thought— No, some things belong in the past.”
Colton darted glances between the two of us in confusion. “Grams, everyone gets embarrassed sometimes. Whatever, this thing is, if it has bothered you all these years just get it off your shoulders.”
“I should have seen it coming, should have been stronger. I was weak. She wasn’t though. She looked into my eyes and it was there. The sadness hung like fog. I had never even noticed the cuts on her neck and the lacerations on her haunches until that very moment.”
“Mona?” I had gone from supportive to confused. Haunches? I had no idea where she was headed, nor what she spoke of. “Tell them how you met Robert that day. How did he know to meet you at the stables?”
“Robert was so nice and sweet. I wanted to see him. He had asked me to meet him there. He passed me a note in class.”
“A note? Why didn’t he just ask?”
“He was shy, he wrote it during Algebra and handed it to Greyson Tuggs, who handed it to Mary Beth, who handed it to me because she sat next to me. They were friends then, he and Greyson. Although Robert didn’t have many friends due to the circumstances. That all changed though. We had all been fooled by Greyson. Anyway, when I got to the stable there he was, Greyson Tuggs, Junior with Chloe. I should have seen it the first time I saw the cuts on Chloe. Any man, young or old, that would do that to an animal—”
“Animal?” I asked. Now I was completely lost.
“Well, a horse. He had to be evil to some extent, right?”
“Mom,” James came forward and pulled her other hand into his, “are you trying to say he hurt you?”
She looked at him with those velvety gray eyes, clouded with years of wisdom. Then she lowered her eyes to his hand. “I should have been stronger. When he asked me to put the horse in the stall, I was a little surprised—sure. Why wouldn’t this young man who was obviously stronger than I, put his own horse away? But I did it, and then there he was. And all of a sudden, he was on top of me and sticking his tongue down my throat and loosening his pants. He’d ripped my clothes off and was laying on me. I looked at Chloe, and I saw it then. The pain he’d inflicted on her, same as he was going to inflict on me. Only worse. The sorrow. And then he stuck it inside of me, his thing, and I wanted to scream. It hurt like hell. But he had his hand over my mouth and all I could do was snort.”
I was stunned. “But Mona you said Chloe kicked him before—”
“I know what I said, what I’ve been saying for years. It was a lie. Only me and Robert knew what happened. And Chloe, of course. Well, the doc did, too. That horrible creature of a man was on top of me, his face red and sweaty as he ripped my insides apart when Robert walked up. See, if I had been fashionably late like my mother said all good women should be, it wouldn’t have happened like that. I wouldn’t have been there first. I wouldn’t have looked at Robert’s face and met his eyes, wide as marbles, and seen the trust shatter. See, from his angle, he couldn’t see the hand over my mouth—only my eyes. Staring into his. I shook my head and my mouth became free long enough to shout ‘No, Robert. Wait!’ but his heart was torn and he ran. Chloe saw the whole thing though. And when I realized she was the only one that could save me, I looked at her and cried. I cried ‘help’. It came out as only a whimper because when I shook his hand free, it ended up on my throat. And while he was pressing into me, he also pressed my throat into the straw. I looked into those eyes that were filled with a hot, molten anger and I knew without a doubt I was dead.”
The lump in my throat felt like a boulder as I listened to her. My eyes stung and I blinked furiously to hold back what I knew was coming.
“Oh, my God.” Sadie covered her mouth and sank into a chair, shaking. I wasn’t sure what to do. All this time, I had thought Mona had a secret love that had saved her from a rapist. But she hadn’t been saved at all.
Mona let go of my fingers and reached her wobbly hand to the water by her bed. She took a couple of sips as we all sat dumbfounded. Then she spoke again, “I guess I should finish as long as I went this far. Chloe, God love her, had already seen what could happen with that son of a bitch and she recognized the fear in me. She knew it firsthand, see. So, when Robert ran out, I figured she knew it was up to her to do something. She lifted up on her haunches, reared back a hoof and struck him so hard that he flew against the wall of the stable and lay in a crumpled pile. I couldn’t move. He’d hurt me so bad I couldn’t even walk. She put her muzzle down to me and I grabbed hold of the lines. And that dear old beast started moving—gently even. She pulled backward so soft I could see how much she cared.” Mona’s voice trailed away for a moment.
I put my hand to my face and felt moisture. There were tears running down my cheeks like a faucet and I hadn’t even known it. “So, Chloe was a horse?”
Mona was so startled, that she laughed. “Honey, she was so much more than a horse. Can’t you see what I owe her? That man would have killed me for sure that day. She and I both knew it. When she dragged me out, and Robert heard me screaming, he came back. When he saw the blood, and saw Tuggs in the stall, he knew he’d misunderstood. He picked me up and carried me to the doctor that day. Not to my house or anywhere else. He wrapped me in a horse blanket so no one would see. He lifted me onto Chloe and held me on his lap so the bleeding was contained. I imagine if anyone had seen us, he’d have been in as much trouble as Chloe. But no one was out thanks to the rain. The doctor never told a soul. At first.”
“What happened to Greyson?” I asked.
Colton moved from foot to foot and I wondered if my questions bothered him.
“Well, that’s the sad part, but it’s the good part too.” She took another sip of water.
Colton was sick to his stomach; bile rose in his throat. He knew if Grams
said much more he’d want to kill this guy, Greyson—if he wasn’t already dead. He looked at the ceiling, a movement that his dad had done about thirty times since Grams started the story. In fact, his dad’s jaw was clenched so tight Colton was sure his teeth were whittled down.
When Grams picked up the cup, Colton moved in and took Tess’ place. “You don’t have to tell this, Grams. You’re right, it’s all in the past. There isn’t any reason to rehash it.”
There was a grandmother’s adoration in those soft, hazy eyes as she stroked his arm. “It’s okay, sweetie. The rest isn’t so bad. In fact, I can see why your girlfriend wanted me to tell it now. Chloe needs you to understand. See, what she did for me, saved me but what she did for Robert saved–us. Our whole family is here because of her. Sure the town owes her big time, too—but that debt was paid a long time ago. We—” She pointed to each of us—“have to make sure that her family gets the same legacy that ours did. We’re all tied to her.”
“Then rest a little and you can tell us later.”
She laughed a couple short chuckles. “Robert used to say that ‘sometimes later is too late’. He meant it too. I can’t tell you how many times he regretted walking away that day. It had been drilled into him by his parents. It wasn’t his place. His place—can you believe that? He used to wake in the night years later when we had tried so long for kids and had no luck—he’d tell me he was too late that night. He promised he’d never be late again for anything. He kept that promise. I know he thought he could have prevented everything and he hated that he hadn’t.”
Mona sighed and looked out the window for a couple seconds. They all watched her, Colton included, until her soft voice picked up again. They were a captive audience, hanging on every word. “The mayor found his son unconscious in the straw. He also found him with his pants around his ankles, but never once mentioned that—ever. The horse was gone, but the wound was clearly from her shoe—at least one of them was. I was never more glad in my life that we had rode her to the doctor’s that day instead of calling someone to take us. He’d have shot her dead had he found her there. I know it.”
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