Philip woke and looked at the blonde head of hair beside him. For a second he wondered if he was dreaming. Had Delia changed her hair colour overnight? Then it all came back, flooding his brain, the events of last night, clear and precise. Supreme happiness engulfed him. He’d never felt like this in his life … and it was all due to the girl beside him. She was fast asleep and he lay still so as not to disturb her and thought about the momentous happenings of the night before. The village hall with Sue, chatting, dancing, holding her close. It had seemed so easy, so normal; right from the moment she appeared at his side at the bar.
Philip had bought her a drink and events progressed from there with the evening passing like a flash, Jim sensing something was going on and keeping out of their way. Their conversation didn’t falter, flowing naturally and Philip found it so refreshing. Sue actually listened to him. They talked about horses, her business, Tangles and his business, and his comments were listened to with respect and consideration. It was a novelty. He hadn’t realised before but Delia talked at him and for him, seldom allowing his ideas and opinions to hold much sway.
Delia didn’t dance either and nor had he until last night … to a slow one … near the end of the evening. The softness of Sue’s hair against his cheek and the sweetness of her perfume had done something to him. Holding her was delightful and he pulled her closer, willing the dance to go on and on, realising she desired him as much as he did her. Then she had looked up at him and smiled, a look of pure adoration in her eyes and he had known instantly that he could never let her go. Delia faded into insignificance as he bent his head, placed his lips over Sue’s and kissed her, uncaring of who saw.
When they left together, a number of people including Jim, his girlfriend, Maddy, and Sue’s friend Dorothy, saw them go and wondered how Lady Delia was going to react at this turn of events and so close to the wedding too. They all knew what a temper she possessed.
Philip had taken Sue back to Tangles, dispensed with coffee and made straight for the bedroom. There they made love … beautifully … slowly … tenderly. Sue made him feel like a real man, letting him take the lead and now, afterwards, he felt powerful, with self-confidence and self-esteem at an all-time high. So different from when he was with Delia. It was always her who initiated sex and now he could see why. He wasn’t interested in just the act alone. He wanted to make proper love and last night, for the first time in his life, he had … and it had been pure joy.
Sue stirred beside him, opened her eyes, looked at him and smiled. Philip wrapped her in his arms, not ever wanting to let her go. The strength of his feelings surprised him.
“I wish we could stay like this forever.”
“You’re getting married in a fortnight,” said Sue quietly.
Philip could hear the despair in her voice. He hugged her tight. “Not anymore I’m not.”
She shook herself free from his arms and sat up abruptly. “Are you sure?”
Philip took her hand and kissed it. “After last night? How could I?”
He looked her straight in the eyes. “Sue, I love you. I really love you. There is no way on earth I could marry Delia now.”
“But …,”
“No, Sue. I mean it. I thought I loved Delia … I still do in a way but more as friends than lovers. We’ve been close for a very long time, since we were young kids, and I helped her when her mother left and her grandmother died and she helped me when I was left all alone. We’ve been through a lot together, supported and been there for each other but there’s always been something lacking … it’s not been quite right … and to be honest, I’ve been having doubts lately as to whether it is wise to go through with marrying her and now ….”
“But it’s so close to the wedding … all the arrangements.”
“Better to stop it all now rather than wait for later.”
“Delia will be devastated.”
“Yes,” said Philip quietly. “She probably will and I don’t relish telling her either. She’s always been the one pushing for marriage. In fact, she was so fed up with me dragging my heels, she actually asked me to marry her.”
“Oh, goodness.”
“I was happy to go along with it. We work well together, talk the same language …but underneath I’ve always known something was missing. I do love her … but like a sister … a best friend.” He stroked Sue’s hair. “Not like this. Never, never like this.”
Their kiss was long and tender and it was a while before they spoke again. Philip wrapped his arms around Sue and frowned.
“I’ll have to go and tell her … and as soon as possible. It would be horrendous for her if she gets to hear any gossip from last night. Lots of people saw us leave together.”
“Gosh. I feel dreadful. I’m to blame for all of this,” Sue declared “but I couldn’t help myself last night … it was just so perfect … as if it was meant to be.”
Philip smiled down at her and hugged her tighter. “No, my love, you’re not to blame. You’ve saved me from making a huge mistake. The wedding will have to be cancelled and that’s that. Anyway, if you’ll have me, I want to marry you.”
Sue’s lovely eyes widened with disbelief. “But we’ve only just got together!”
He turned to her excitedly. “Sue, we’ve known each other for years. We’ve been friends for years and I love you. I really love you … and I know you feel the same. Please. As soon as I’ve disentangled myself from Delia, will you marry me?”
She laughed with untold relief and stroked his face, bristly now as he hadn’t shaved. She would have died of shame if this had just been a one-night stand and would have been utterly heartbroken if, after the magic of last night, she had to watch him walk down the aisle with Delia.
“Don’t you think we should have some sort of courtship? It’s all so quick … so sudden. I can’t take it all in.”
“We’ll take as long as you like … but in the end, you’ll marry me, won’t you,” he stated.
She nodded and buried her head in his shoulder. “Yes. Definitely. I love you so much … I have from the moment you walked into the infants’ school all those years ago, sat down next to me, and smiled. I was smitten … I still am … and I think this is the happiest moment of my life.”
* * *
Delia slept like a log and awoke refreshed; nausea, headache, and sniffles completely vanished. She washed and dressed quickly, throwing on her old riding jeans and a clean t-shirt, eager to get down to the stables, positive that a good gallop in the clean fresh air of the Yorkshire countryside would clear up any remaining germs.
Having fetched his tack, she made her way down to the paddock where Demon was already standing by the gate waiting for her. He was particularly frisky, moving restlessly as she saddled him up and mounted, eager to be off and impatiently pawing the ground as Delia tried to shut the gate behind them.
“Stand!” she said firmly, knowing how it was torment for him to be still but she had trained him well and he always responded to her voice.
As soon as the gate was shut behind them, she gave him a soft touch with her feet and he was off, streaking down the lane and then into open countryside at such a tremendous speed it was virtually impossible for Delia to breathe. She let him have his head until they reached the final field belonging to Canleigh when he was beginning to tire. They trotted through the woods edging the estate to her favourite view of Canleigh from beneath the copper beech tree.
Dismounting, she threw his reins over the saddle and let him graze. He was puffed but still ready for much more but for now she wanted to gaze on her home and think. She sat on a log and let her eyes wander over the view before her; the Hall, the lake, the grounds. Her empire. Or at least it soon would be.
She twisted the diamond and sapphire ring on her finger and thought about the coming few days with pleasure. Soon, soon she would have everything she ever wanted. She already had Demon of course, in two short weeks she would have Philip … and then … the icing on the cake … Canleigh!
She smiled, thinking of the agreement she and Richard had come to, all those years ago, and the piece of paper Richard had signed which was still where they had left it. She was perfectly aware it had no legal binding but trusted her brother implicitly. If Richard was anything, he was honest and his word was his bond and he would certainly back her up. They’d not spoken of their pact since the day they had hidden the paper but Delia had complete faith in him. He would never renege on a promise. He was also concentrating hard on his career and hadn’t expressed any interest in becoming involved in Canleigh, although she knew that everything could change if he should decide to marry. Richard was a highly eligible bachelor. Titled, rich, academically brilliant and handsome … especially now he had dispensed with the hated spectacles and wore contact lenses which reduced the air of superiority, making him appear far more approachable. No. Richard mustn’t marry for a long time. That would be disastrous but so far his dalliances with the opposite sex were fleeting and there was no real threat to Delia’s ambitions at this precise moment but that could alter at any time if some gold digger came along and fancied a title, and estate and everything that went with it.
Delia didn’t doubt for one minute that Richard would let her manage Canleigh when their father died but she couldn’t afford to wait until then and with Dick Joyce retiring, this was the perfect time to step in and cement her position. Father was spending more and more time at Blairness, Richard was involved in his career but she was living here and even when she moved to Tangles, she would only be two minutes away. It might take a little persuasion on her part but it made perfect sense for her to have the job. Who better to take up the reins than someone who was qualified, knew the estate so well, and had real passion for it … and it would be damned difficult to dislodge her once everyone saw how brilliant she was.
The best time to tackle Richard and Father would be after dinner this evening, when they had enjoyed a delicious meal and fine wine. They would be mellow and more inclined to listen to her proposals to improve the profitability of the estate and would quickly realise that leaving her in charge was the perfect solution. Delia was brimming with schemes and couldn’t wait to share them, positive the male members of her family would be impressed with her foresight and ambition.
For a moment, Delia wondered what Philip would think about it. She hadn’t told him of the pact between her and Richard, or of the note hidden in the stables and she had let him assume her estate management studies were to help him with Tangles. She had never mentioned her ambitions for Canleigh at all, although he knew, of course, about the rows between her and Richard when they were young but he hadn’t realised how deep her jealousy was and how seriously she coveted Canleigh and intended to have it, whatever the cost. It was strange, really, how she had never confided in him.
Delia twirled her engagement ring again, taking comfort from what it represented and remembering how long it had taken her to get Philip anywhere near the alter, experiencing many moments of panic, fearing a wedding might never take place. She had waited impatiently until she was eighteen for him to propose but he never did and growing fed up with waiting and wanting her future settled she threw caution to the winds and asked him herself. It hadn’t been particularly romantic but it had given her the mental security she craved. They were walking back from the stables to Tangles after a long and riveting day at Bramham Horse Trials where neither competed but thoroughly enjoyed trudging round the stalls seeing the latest gadgets, riding gear and equipment and eating burgers and ice cream from the vendors, topped off with taking their seats to watch the show jumping. Gruff had accompanied them as he was so well behaved and he had amused himself with all the labradors and spaniels he met along the way. He was in the minority, being a mere old mongrel, but he and all the smart pedigrees he came across didn’t care, even though some of their haughty owners looked at him with distaste. He just wagged his tail and made Philip and Delia laugh.
Having deposited Ralph’s ancient Volvo estate in the garage they had walked slowly back to the house, Gruff pottering about near them, sniffing and making sure all was as it should be and nothing untoward had occurred on his land in his absence. It was just before Ralph’s horrible accident and Philip was in a particularly jovial mood. To this day Delia had no idea how she found the courage but the words had just popped out as they walked arm in arm back to the house, standing for a while in the moonlight to watch the horses nodding off under the trees in the fields nearby.
“We’re going to have a fantastic future, Philip. You and me. We’ll always be together, won’t we? I can’t imagine my life without you.”
Philip hugged her and grinned. “Me neither.”
“Let’s do it then. Let’s get married,” she said impulsively, not daring to breathe as she waited for his answer.
Philip took his time, shocked at her words even though he knew it was what she had wanted for a very long time.
“Delia . . .,”
“You know we’re right for each other,” she said quickly. “We can have a tremendous future together. I know we’re very young now but if we can just become engaged. We don’t have to get married for ages but don’t you see ... that will give us stability and something to plan for.”
Philip looked down at her eager face. He did love her, in his way, but he was tired and wasn’t in the mood for making important decisions … and it was only an engagement. She said herself they needn’t get married for a long time.
“Okay,” he answered slowly. “If it will make you happy. We can go into Leeds on Saturday and get you an engagement ring.” His parents had left him well provided for when they died and he had barely touched the insurance money so would be able to buy something decent.
Delia twirled the ring again, remembering that night vividly. She had been in seventh heaven when Philip slipped it on her finger a few days later but then it had taken another three long years to get him to agree to a date for the wedding. The sad death of Ralph and then Constance had overshadowed any hope of a joyous day for quite some time but a year to the day of Constance’s funeral when Philip still hadn’t helped her make a decision, her patience wore thin. He continually made excuses, ruling out this month and that due to business commitments or insisting it would be too hot or too cold so finally Delia put her foot down. She set the date and informed him that the 6th June 1972 was going to be the day and that was it. She was booking and organising everything and all he had to do was turn up. She was determined to become Mrs. Kershaw this summer and Mrs. Kershaw she would be.
Delia thought of all the hard work gone into organising this bash. She had spent months preparing every last detail … the invitations, the caterers, the flowers, the cake, the dresses, Philip’s suit, the marquee on the lawn as even though the ballroom in the house was large, it wasn’t adequate for four hundred guests and then the entertainment; a violin quartet for the wedding breakfast and a band for the evening. Even St. Mary’s was given a sprucing up inside with the ancient walls given a fresh coat of whitewash so that the church could be shown off at its best on Lady Delia’s big day.
Delia smiled and stroked Demon who was snorting gently in her ear, eager to be off again.
“Darling Demon. I am just so damned happy, I could explode,” she murmured.
She rose to her feet and threw her arms around her horse. He whinnied and thrust his nose into her neck, the bond between them tight.
“Okay, darling boy. Another quick gallop and then home for breakfast. I don’t know about you but I’m feeling rather hungry.”
They set off again, a trot turning into a canter and then a full gallop through two fields and out onto the old lane leading to the lake. The track meandered from one direction to another, up hill and down dale, teasing and tantalising Delia’s view of her home as it danced in and out of sight.
Copses lined the lane, old and ancient sycamores, oaks and pretty silver birch rising high above the tangled undergrowth of nettles, wild flowers, hemlock and giant hogweed, the natur
al habitat of wildlife rarely disturbed by humans. Rabbits, startled by the sound of Demon’s hooves striking the ground watched horse and rider with suspicion from the shelter of the foliage while grey squirrels scurried up and down the trees, one in particular, annoyed at this unexpected disturbance, darting out to sit in the middle of the lane and chatter angrily before disappearing back into the safety of the bushes.
Delia trotted Demon back to his paddock, took off his tack, gave him an apple from her pocket, and left him to have a long cooling drink from the water butt and graze for the rest of the day. Star, Dolly, Samson and Delilah were in the adjacent field so he had company if he so wished. She kissed his long velvety nose, closed the gate and walked back to the stables to deposit his tack.
Heart light and excitement high, she looked across the massive lawn to where St. Mary’s could just be seen nestling in the woodland. She hugged herself with delight. Only another two weeks … two short weeks and she would be married … and after that … estate manager as well. Life was going to be so sweet … so very sweet from now on. Leaping up the front steps to the Hall three at a time, she could hear the telephone in the entrance hall ringing insistently. Hardy was nowhere to be seen so she picked it up.
“Canleigh Hall.”
“Delia. I have to see you.”
Philip’s voice sounded faint and weary. Delia laughed. “The party must have been a good one … you sound exhausted. What time did you get in?”
Philip took his time in answering and Delia grinned. He must have a whopper of a hangover.
“Are you particularly busy at the moment?” he asked. “I need to see you as soon as possible. I’ve something to tell you.”
“Come over now then … for breakfast. I’ve just got in from a ride and am ravenous and if you’re quick I might leave something for you,” she joked, knowing how he rarely bothered with breakfast now that Constance was no longer there to nag him.
Reeking of horses, Delia rushed upstairs for a quick shower and changed into clean jeans and a flowery cotton top, brushed her thick hair and darted down to the dining room. The mahogany table, which could be extended to seat fifty, dominated the room, smiled down on by portraits of previous Dukes and Duchesses of Canleigh. Ornate solid silver Georgian candelabras graced the table, which was laid for two, although Vicky obviously hadn’t made an appearance yet. Bacon, eggs, mushrooms, tomatoes and fried bread were all being kept hot above the warmers on the mahogany sideboard and a pot of hot milk and another of steaming coffee rested on the table beside Delia’s place. Hardy had obviously heard her return from her ride. It all smelled delicious and Delia piled up her plate and poured herself a coffee, hoping Vicky wouldn’t get up just yet. She wanted to have Philip to herself for a while but she had almost finished her breakfast before she heard the Volvo outside. She walked outside to greet him, a welcoming smile on her face as she admired her future husband when he got out and slammed the car door shut. He looked good, even dressed in his old working jeans and tatty sweater, although his face was drawn and he looked weary and worried. Delia felt the first slight tremor of alarm as he made no attempt to embrace her. He always kissed her and asked if she was okay. How odd.
Rejection Runs Deep (The Canleigh Series, book 1: A chilling psychological family drama) Page 23