She turned then froze. “I never said I wanted to be your mate, Quinn. I only said that there was the potential. I’m sorry those women hurt you. I’m not them, but you’ll never believe that.” She took a shaky breath, and Quinn wanted to hold her and tell her he was sorry.
He knew if he did that he’d never stop, and she had to get out of his house. If she stayed, he didn’t know what he’d do.
“I hope your little boy is okay. You should call Hannah to see if she can help.”
With that, she left, and he stood there, his head lowered.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Quinn,” Walker growled. “First, you’re lucky Jesse is out cold. Second? I didn’t know you were so cruel. You broke her.”
Quinn had forgotten Walker was there but didn’t turn to face the other man.
“Just go,” he whispered.
“I knew Helena scarred you, but shit, Quinn, you can’t let her ruin your future.”
Quinn growled and let his power roll through the room. Walker didn’t bow. Instead, the Healer pushed his own power back.
Quinn staggered and lowered his head.
“Yeah, I’m higher ranking than you. Get over it, asshole,” Walker cursed. “If Kade ever finds out what you said to her, he’ll kill you, and we’ll end up in another war. That’s politics and family.” He sighed. “You’re my friend, Quinn, but the man I just saw isn’t the man I know, the man I’m friends with. That man is not Jesse’s father. Remember that.”
Walker stormed out of the house, and Quinn sank to the floor, his head in his hands. Walker was right. He had been an asshole to Gina. He hadn’t meant to lash out like he had, and now he’d hurt her more than he’d ever meant to.
The only thing he knew was that he hadn’t deserved Helena, and he damn well didn’t deserve Gina. She’d find another wolf to mate and find her happiness.
She wasn’t for Quinn.
He wasn’t for her.
He didn’t deserve anything.
Chapter Five
The ground beneath her feet gave way, and Gina fell on her knees. Rocks and twigs dug into her skin, and dirt covered her palms as she knelt on all fours, determined not to break.
Though hadn’t she already broken?
Her limbs ached, but not as much as her heart.
She’d made it to the den, through the wards, and couldn’t keep going.
She didn’t even like Quinn, yet he’d hurt her in a way she never thought possible.
She’d known he might not want to mate with her. That was to be expected. They didn’t know each other that well and hadn’t gotten off on the right foot. It wasn’t as though she was expecting a mating mark and for him to jump her right there.
Even she hadn’t been ready for that.
But she’d thought he might actually talk to her about it.
God, how wrong she’d been.
She licked her lips and forced herself to sit down rather than kneel. He’d had a mate; she’d known that. After all, how else would he have Jesse?
She’d assumed that Jesse’s mother had died though. Wolves were not like humans. They couldn’t cheat on each other. What would be the point? Their bodies didn’t want another and their hearts sure as hell didn’t. Their souls were eternally entwined once both parts of the mating were locked into place.
Or, at least, that’s how it was supposed to be.
Once that happened, wolves couldn’t feel other potentials out in the world. That would be irrevocably cruel. Fate might be a tricky bitch, but she wasn’t cruel.
Well, maybe she was.
When she’d figured out the tug and pull she felt with Quinn was the mating urge, she’d thought his mate was dead. That had to have been the only way for her to feel that energy.
She’d known it wouldn’t be easy. She’d heard stories of her uncle Adam and the pain he’d felt and caused because of his first mate, Anna. When she’d been killed, he’d put up a stone wall between him and the world. When Bay had come into his life and torn down that wall, it hadn’t been a road paved with flowers.
Gina had expected a rough road. She’d expected that Quinn might not want her at all. After all, she wasn’t sure she wanted him either, but she’d put herself on the line because she’d needed to be honest with herself.
What she hadn’t expected was the hate.
Oh, goddess, the hate.
He’d looked at her as though she’d shown him the end of the world, as if she was nothing.
He didn’t want her.
She got that.
She’d known that was a possibility.
The fact that he’d pushed her away not only because he didn’t want her, but because of what she was—a witch—hurt more than she could bear.
The epitome of everything I hate.
She choked back a sob.
How was she supposed to face him at the council meetings? How was she supposed to protect her Pack’s future when the one wolf her wolf ached for hated her?
It wasn’t supposed to hurt this much.
She rubbed the spot between her breasts and tried to catch her breath. Tears slid down her cheeks, and her body shook. She sniffed, trying to control it, and then just let herself go. She threw her head back and howled, her voice holding the song of her heart…or what was left of it.
The sound of someone running up behind her filled her ears, but she didn’t move to look at who it was. She was safe within her den, and she could scent the person anyway.
Finn.
“Gina?” His voice was right behind her, but she still didn’t move.
“Gina? Please. What’s wrong?” He knelt in front of her, and she blinked up at him.
“My mate hates me,” she whispered. She hadn’t meant to whisper, but she couldn’t speak louder than that. At the word mate coming from her lips, she hiccupped. Mate was a lie. He was only a wolf. A wolf who didn’t want her. Who hated her.
An icy feeling spread over her limbs and settled into her heart, which felt like a hollow cavern with no bridge to escape.
“Mate?” Finn asked.
She looked up into his dark green eyes and nodded.
When had he grown up? He wasn’t the little boy she’d held in her arms when she’d first joined the family. He was starting to fill out with the muscles of a man, rather than the long lankiness of a grown boy. His dark brown hair went every which way and even touched his shoulders, like his father’s hair once had.
“Oh, Gina.” With that, he pulled her into his arms and cradled her in his lap. She stuck her nose along his neck and shoulder, inhaling his scent. He was her family, her home. He could make it better.
Oh, goddess, please make it better.
She didn’t know how long she stayed in her brother’s arms, but she didn’t care. She needed to let it all out before she exploded. Other people came to her side. She heard and scented them. Outsiders stayed away, but her family was there. She hated feeling weak, helpless, but if she didn’t cry for what she’d lost, what she now knew she’d never have, she’d break more than she already had.
Finn handed her off to someone, and she blinked her eyes open. Kade frowned down at her then stood up.
“We’re going home, baby girl, and then you can tell me what happened.”
That wasn’t the Alpha who’d spoken, but her father still demanded answers. The two parts of him were sometimes hard to tell apart, but right then, she needed her dad. Then she’d need her Alpha.
He carried her three steps, and she pushed at his shoulder. He stopped and looked down at her. She could feel her brothers, mother, cousins, aunts, and uncles around her. The entire Jamenson clan had come to her aid because of her howl, and she’d never felt more loved.
Even when she’d never felt so unwanted.
“I need to walk to our home on my own,” she said softly, but stronger than she’d spoken earlier.
She was a dominant wolf. Though she was in pain, she needed to stand on her own two feet in front of the rest of the Pack. If needed,
she’d break down again in quiet later.
Kade gave her a nod, his wolf in his eyes, and then set her down. She wobbled for a moment, but with her family behind her, she raised her chin then took a step.
Then another.
Then another.
She moved through the den, ignoring the curious looks from Pack members who either meant well or relished her pain. After all, she was a witch.
A witch who didn’t have full control of her powers.
What right did she have to judge them for their wariness of her?
What right did she have to judge Quinn for his reasons not to trust her?
A witch had destroyed his life and was slowly killing his son—she knew his pain was justified.
She just wished it didn’t hurt so much.
When she made her way to the front door, she felt the rest of the family slowly leave. Only her brothers and parents remained behind. The other Jamensons seemed to know she needed space from the immense crowd.
She’d never loved them more.
Ben, her youngest brother at ten years old, went around her to open the door. He gave her a small smile then took her hand, pulling her into the house.
Tristan and Drake hurried off to the kitchen while Ben and Nick forced her to sit on the couch. They sat on either side of her, pressing themselves against her so she could feel her family, her Pack. Mark sat on the other side of Ben and leaned in. She wrapped her arms around them and kissed each of their heads. Her brothers were growing up so fast, and soon they’d all be men in their own right.
She loved them so freaking much.
She’d be okay. She had her family, her wolf, and her strength. She’d find a way to prevail and heal. Quinn had lashed out and hurt her more than she thought possible, but she didn’t need him. Fate would give her another mate. Maybe not now, maybe not for a decade, but it could happen.
She’d just learn to be herself until then.
She’d done well on her own before, and she’d do it again.
Her mother sat on the coffee table in front of her and put her hands on Gina’s knees. “Talk to me, baby.”
“We can go if you want to talk with just Mom and Dad,” Finn said, surprising her. He had an old soul and could be sweet if he wanted to be, but he was also a very dominant wolf. The fact that he would let her speak about what happened without him there told her how bad she must look. Some things were private, but if Finn wanted to know exactly what had hurt her, he wouldn’t have left no matter what. They were walking on eggshells around her, and she wasn’t sure she liked that.
She didn’t like the fact that Quinn had pushed her into this position.
Damn the wolf.
She shook her head. “No. You can stay.” She met her mother’s eyes. The pain she saw there made her swallow hard.
Her mom knew.
Maybe not all of it, but she knew.
Tristan and Drake came back into the living room with tea and cookies for everyone. Mel had trained her brood well. Gina took a cookie and a cup of tea, knowing she needed the nutrients. She’d never gotten her meal after shifting and her run with Quinn, and her tired wolf was on edge.
Gina licked her lips and nodded at her mother. “I went to Quinn today to talk about the fact that he’s my potential mate.”
Kade let out a curse while the boys either hugged her or mumbled one of their own.
Finn gave her a look, frowned, then started to pace.
“You and Quinn,” Kade said softly, though his wolf was up front from the sound of his growl.
She nodded. “Yes, me and Quinn.” She winced. There wasn’t a “her and Quinn,” but she’d get to that part.
“I don’t want to talk about everything.” She met her father’s gaze. “I can’t. But I will say that he didn’t want to be my mate. He had a good reason.” A reason that hurt her more than anything, but she’d move on.
Kade growled full-out, and her brothers joined him. Goose bumps rose over her flesh at the sound, so protective yet angry at the same time.
“There isn’t a good enough reason to hurt my daughter. You are a Redwood and will one day be the Enforcer. Does he think you’re not good enough?”
Yes, but not for the reasons he’d said.
Not that she’d tell him that.
She shook her head instead. “He had a mate, Dad. He had a mate, and now he doesn’t. He has a five-year-old son to raise, and finding a new mate isn’t on his agenda.”
“Oh, honey,” Mel whispered then cupped her face. “I’m so sorry.”
Gina didn’t cry. She didn’t think she had anything left to cry about. “It’s okay, Mom. I tried. I put myself out there. He didn’t want me. I get it. He doesn’t want another mate.” He doesn’t want a witch. “There’s nothing I can do about it.”
“We can beat him up for you,” Ben put in.
“Yeah, I’ll tie him down,” Tristan said.
“No one is allowed to hurt our sister,” Drake said.
“We love you, Gina,” Mark said. “We don’t like it when you cry.”
“We really will hurt him for you,” Nick added.
She sniffed then kissed each brother, even standing up so she could kiss Finn’s cheek. He looked down at her, still frowning.
“I’d kill him if I could,” he growled.
She shook her head. “That’s the exact wrong thing to do, Finn. You know that.”
“I don’t care if he’s a freaking Talon. He hurt my family. From the way you reacted, it wasn’t just a brush-off, Gina. He hurt you.”
She closed her eyes. “I know, Finn, but you need to remember that you’re the Heir. You can’t kill a member of another Pack because he hurt your sister.”
“You think I don’t get that? You think I don’t know that I’m the Heir? I’ve been the Heir for as long as I can remember, Gina. I’m not going to mess things up for my Pack because of what he did, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to. I want to put family first. Can’t you get that?”
“We all get that,” Kade said from behind her, and she opened her eyes. “You know we all get that. The whole family has had to put some of their own wants and needs on hold because of the war with the Centrals. Now with the treaty with the Talons, we’re forced to do that again.”
“When Logan and Lexi first joined us, we wanted nothing to do with the Talons,” Mel said. “Gina, you might have been old enough to remember when they first came to us. We wanted blood for the way the previous Alpha had treated them, but we had to step back.” She cupped Gina’s face. “But if we need to, we’ll fight for you, Gina. Never forget that you are our daughter. You are Larissa and Neil’s daughter. Your heart matters just as much as whatever the Talons mean to us. You matter more. If you want us to take matters into our own hands with this, we will.”
“Just because he’s a Talon and we’re trying to find a way to make our treaty work with them doesn’t give him the right to hurt you,” Kade said.
She pulled back and shook her head. “I don’t want to do anything that will hurt the Talons or the Redwoods. In fact, this is good, right?” She tried to smile and failed. “Okay, so the rejecting thing is horrible, and I’ll get over it because I have to, but that’s not what I’m talking about. You know we formed the council because of many things, but one of those was because there hadn’t been any matings between the Talons and Redwoods in all this time. This is huge.”
God, she knew she sounded like an idiot, but if she didn’t move on to something she could talk about without breaking down, she wouldn’t be able to speak at all.
“Gina, you don’t have to try to make this better,” Mark said from her side.
She shook her head. “I’m not really, but think about it. There’s a mating between a Talon and a Redwood. We’re moving forward.”
“And if the goddess sees you both reject it and doesn’t allow another mating?” Finn asked.
Kade growled. “Then that is something we deal with, Finn. We won’t force Gina to deal with
Quinn for the sake of the Packs.”
She blinked. She hadn’t thought of that. What if Quinn rejecting her and their potential mating brought them all back a step?
“No, we can’t think like that.” She took a deep breath. “We need to tell the others about the potential mating. They need to have hope.”
Mel shook her head. “Honey, then you’ll have to face the world and tell them that you won’t be mating him.”
She clenched her jaw. “Then Quinn will have to do the same. We are the council leaders. We will show the Packs that we are closer to becoming a strong unit. The others will understand that we chose not to mate. He has a child. He had a mate. That’s all they need to know.”
They didn’t need to know that he’d rejected her for not only that but because she was a witch.
Her palms heated, and she closed them into fists. She was only a half witch. She didn’t have full powers. She didn’t have the control she needed to use them on a daily basis. Yet he didn’t know that. He’d seen only who he thought she was and rejected her in the worst way possible.
For the sake of her Pack, she wouldn’t be able to run away from her problems. It wasn’t as if she could do that to begin with. Her wolf would never want her to do so.
She was stronger than that. She’d fight for her Pack as well as learn to negotiate and strengthen her Pack.
“Gina, you don’t have to do this,” Kade said softly.
“Yeah, I do. If I don’t, I’ll just end up hiding when I don’t need to. I know everything hasn’t hit me yet, and I’ll deal with it when it does, but I need to be strong. I need to be a council and Pack leader. This is good for the den, Dad.” She sucked in a breath. “Maybe more matings will come out of it. Maybe more trust.”
“Do you really think trust will come out of the fact that Quinn rejected you?” Finn asked, and Gina winced. “Shit. I’m sorry.”
“Language, Finn,” Mel whispered.
“You didn’t stop me before,” he said, a small smile on his face.
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