“You really liked it? You don’t have to say that just because we’re dating.”
“Drew, I wouldn’t have brought it up if I didn’t love it. It’s easy to see why it won an award. I can’t believe it’s your first book.”
“It means a lot to me that you took the time to read it.” Drew set his e-reader aside and sidled up to Josh, wrapping an arm around his waist. “And I’ve enjoyed spending the day with you, even if you were asleep for part of it.”
Josh kissed Drew’s nose, then buried his face in Drew’s neck, inhaling his sun-warmed skin.
“I’ve liked it too. We’re good together. It’s been a while since I’ve connected with someone.”
“Me too.” Drew tightened his grip, and Josh could swear his heart gave an extra loud thump.
They sat like that for a while. Finally, Drew sighed. “We have to be at my parents’ in another hour. We should probably pack up and get ready.”
“Am I underdressed or something?” Josh smoothed his hand down a pair of dark jeans. “I packed khakis just in case.”
“No, you look great. Very metrosexual.” Drew smirked.
“I’m going to pretend you did not just insult my masculinity.”
“Taking care of yourself does not undermine your masculinity, Mr. Police Officer. Besides, it’s hot.”
“Sure it is. The hottest gay cop on the block.” Josh shook his head. “So, do we need to bring anything to your parents’ place? I have a bottle of red wine.”
“They’ll appreciate that.” Drew smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“Don’t sound so enthusiastic.”
“It’s still a little weird from last weekend. My mom’s acting really… I don’t know. Off. Like she’s still upset, but won’t tell me. I was honestly surprised when my dad called and invited us over.”
“Just us?”
“Nah, my brother and his fiancée, Christine, will be there, and I think Meggie, her husband, Liam, and my niece, Kayla, will be coming too. Kayla’s three going on fifteen. She’s evil cute.”
“Evil cute?”
“Like so cute it’s just wrong. And the girl knows it.”
“Should be an interesting evening.”
“Thanks again for being willing to go.”
“My pleasure, bem. I like that your family wants to get to know me. It shows respect for you, even if it’s a little….”
“Misguided?”
“I was going to say ‘intense.’”
“Same thing. Believe me.”
“COME IN, come in. Don’t just stand there!” Siobhan pulled Josh into her arms as soon as she opened the door. “We’re so glad you could make it.”
“Thanks,” he wheezed. Man, she had a grip. “I brought some wine.”
She released him and exclaimed over the bottle before spinning on her heel and heading back into the house. “I’ll just put it on the table,” she called over her shoulder.
Shane clapped him on the back as soon as Siobhan let him go. “Glad you could come. Heard you pulled the night shift last night. Brutal, huh?”
Before Josh could answer, he was passed along to a stunning redhead who looked like the female version of Drew.
“Hi, I’m Meg. I’ve been hearing lots about you. Nice to finally meet you. Wow, Mom wasn’t kidding. You’re quite… striking.”
Drew snorted. “Meggie, leave him alone. I don’t think Liam would appreciate you ogling my date.” Drew leaned in as if to whisper. “Besides, he doesn’t play for your team.”
“Well, Little D, it never hurts to look. I’m married, not dead.” When she smiled, the same cute dimple Drew shared appeared.
Josh cleared his throat and slipped his arm around Drew’s waist. He’d forgotten to tease Drew about the Little D nickname. So wrong. But fun. “I heard there’s supposed to be a toddler in the house?”
“Kayla came down with a stomach bug. Liam stayed home with her, poor dear. But I wasn’t able to come the last two weekends, and I wanted to meet you. I’ll just have to slip out as soon as dinner’s done.” She grabbed Josh’s hand. “Come into the living room. I heard you’re quite the soccer player. I want to rub it in Ian’s face. What are sisters for, right?”
“No one goes to the living room,” Siobhan called. “Dinner’s about to go on the table.”
“You heard her.” Meg squeezed Josh’s hand before letting go. “But I seriously want to needle Ian later, okay?”
Josh chuckled. “I think I know where Drew gets his sense of humor from.”
She reached up to ruffle Drew’s hair. “He’s lucky, isn’t he?”
Drew did it back, adding a poke to her ribs for good measure. After seeing the gleam in Meg’s eye, Josh stepped between them before it turned into an all-out brawl.
“Dinner, remember?” Josh wrapped his arm around Drew’s shoulder. “Lead the way, bem.”
“You sure it’s not too late to sneak out?” Drew winked.
“I’m pretty sure we’re in it to win it. Besides—” Josh sniffed. “—dinner smells amazing.”
When they entered the dining room, the table was set with place cards.
“Place cards?” Josh whispered, and Drew snickered.
“I know, right? It started when Meggie brought Liam home for the first time. He sat in my dad’s seat. You’d think he’d killed someone. I’m not kidding when I say it took Liam the better part of a year to win my dad over.”
“Okaaay. I guess I’m glad I won’t make the same mistake.”
Josh found his card and sat down next to the place with Drew’s card.
“I’ll be right back,” Drew said and disappeared through another doorway.
Meggie, Drew, and Ian came in soon after, each with a steaming dish in their hands.
Josh jumped to his feet. “I can help with that.”
“Sit, sit. My mom would be horrified if you lifted a finger on your first visit,” Meg said. Drew nodded in agreement. They put their dishes on the table and each took their seats.
“Where’s Christine?” Drew asked Ian.
Ian grunted. “She had to help her mom out tonight. She really wanted to meet your boyfriend.”
Drew didn’t even blush this time, and if Drew wasn’t going to correct them, neither was Josh.
Shane took his place at the head of the table, and Siobhan came in with a dish that could only be shepherd’s pie. The rich smell of the roasted meat and potatoes made Josh’s mouth water. It had been a while since he’d had a home-cooked meal, especially one that smelled this good.
They had all just added food to their plates when Drew’s phone went off.
“Sorry! I forgot to put it on vibrate.” He looked at the number. “It’s my agent. I’ve got to take this.” Pushing back from the table, he ignored his parents’ frowns and dashed into another room.
“Go ahead and eat, Josh,” Siobhan said. “He’ll join us when he’s ready.”
Josh hoped Drew heard some good news. He’d sent off several chapters to his agent last week and was waiting to hear what she thought. He really was an amazing writer. Josh had told him the absolute truth. But he could imagine it was nerve-racking to have someone read his stuff for the first time.
Josh dug into his meal and savored every bite. The banter around the table was light, though he was peppered with lots of questions. He was almost finished eating when Drew came back in the room, a grin on his face from ear to ear.
“She liked it?” Josh asked.
“Oh yeah.” Drew slid back into the seat next to Josh. He was vibrating with excitement. “Loved it. Says she wishes she’d asked for a bigger advance.”
“That’s great, bem. Congratulations.”
That’s when Josh noticed that the table had fallen silent. When he looked around, no one would meet his eye. Did he say something wrong?
“Well, I think I’ll bring in the dessert.” Siobhan rose from her seat. “Drew, eat up, please. You’re looking skinny.”
Drew blinked. His jaw har
dened and he looked at his plate. “Mom, you could at least say you’re happy for me.”
“About what, dear?” She began gathering up the dirty plates.
“You know what? Never mind.” Drew shook his head.
“Uh, glad you got good news, Little D,” Ian mumbled. Siobhan shot him a quelling look and he fell quiet.
What was that all about?
“It is good news, bem. I’m so proud of you. One step closer to your dream.”
“Dreams are for sleep. Drew needs to stick with what he’s got,” Siobhan called back to them as she carried the dishes to the kitchen.
Drew tensed but didn’t say anything, his happiness from a few minutes ago ebbing from his face like a receding tide.
Josh should keep his mouth shut. Drew had told him his parents didn’t take his writing seriously, but Drew hadn’t mentioned that they actively discouraged him. A jolt of irritation caused Josh to open his mouth and say, “He’s incredibly talented. It seems to me he could use some encouragement.”
Meg and Ian both sucked in a harsh breath.
A loud clatter as dishes were slammed down in the kitchen echoed through the room.
“Oh, now you’ve gone and done it, Josh,” Ian said.
“Enough.” Shane shook his finger at Ian before turning to Drew. “Drew, I’m glad you’re enjoying your hobby. Everyone needs to have something outside of work.”
Drew turned to Josh. “Supportive. That’s what I love about this family. So, Joao, would you mind if we skipped dessert? I’m suddenly not very hungry.”
“Oh, Drew, don’t be like that. You’re just so sensitive,” Siobhan said as she came back into the dining room carrying a Bundt cake. “Your father’s saying he’s happy for you. You know we just want you to be careful. You get too excited about things that are never likely to happen—”
“You said that when I wanted to write a book. Then when I did it, you said I’d never get an agent or get it published. I did both. Then it won an Edgar. My second novel is almost done, and my agent loves it. Thinks it could really launch my career—”
“You have a career.” Shane’s hand came down on the table, rattling the silverware.
“No, Dad, I have a job. There’s a difference. Is it so hard to understand that I want to do something that I feel passionate about?” Drew rose to his feet, shot Josh a look filled with hurt and anger.
“We can talk about this later.” Siobhan handed out dessert plates. “We have a guest.”
Josh stood up. “Thank you so much for dinner. I think it’s best if we call it a night.”
“Oh, no, Josh, sit. I just made the cake today. It’s fine. Everything’s fine.”
“With all due respect, Mr. and Mrs. Nolan, it really isn’t. Your son’s trying to share something that made him happy and you’re determined to make him feel bad. I’d definitely say that’s not okay.” Josh turned to Drew. “You ready?”
“Oh yeah, like yesterday.”
“Josh, I know you mean well, but please stay out of this. It’s a family matter.” Siobhan turned to Drew. “Honey, please don’t ruin the evening.”
“I’m ruining the evening? Mom….” Drew closed his eyes and scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I’ll call you later, okay? I’m really mad right now, and I don’t want to fight.”
Siobhan put her hands on her hips. “You know why we worry.”
“Why do you always have to bring up the past? I’m not the same person I was then. You and Dad don’t seem to realize that I’ve grown up. I can make my own choices. It would be great if just once you supported them.”
Drew motioned for Josh to follow. They retreated back down the hall to the front door, Drew’s steps stiff. Josh didn’t blame him. No wonder Drew was so self-conscious about his writing. The people who were supposed to be the most supportive were undermining him at every turn. Josh promised himself he’d make sure to tell Drew every day how much he liked his work.
As they stepped off the porch, Siobhan came out after them, her face flushed.
“You asked why we bring up the past? You almost died, Drew. You keep taking risks. Your dreams. Even choosing to date a police officer. What if something bad happens—God forbid—to Josh, huh? Are you going to keep it together, or will we be spending more time at the hospital with you? Maybe this time you’ll actually manage to kill yourself.”
“I wasn’t trying to kill myself.” Drew’s voice had risen to a shout.
“That’s not what the doctor said.”
“You’re impossible.”
Josh knew his chin had to be on the floor. Hospital? Kill himself? As in, suicide? What the hell?
DREW PACED his living room while Josh sprawled on the couch. He was too pent-up to sit yet. God, he was mortified that Josh had seen his family at their worst. It was shocking Josh was even still here. He ran his fingers across his forehead, trying to ease the headache that was beginning to throb.
“Bem, come here. Please.” Josh held out his hand, his face a mask of concern.
“I’ll be okay. I’m just really, really pissed.” Drew strode to him, interlaced their fingers. “I’m sorry you had to see that. It wasn’t one of their—or my—finer moments.”
“No, I’d say not.” Josh tugged until Drew sank onto his lap. “You want to tell me about it?”
Drew laughed, but the sound wasn’t happy. “Not really, no. But they’ve left me little choice.”
“You don’t have to tell me anything you’re not ready to talk about.”
“And I’m sure you mean that.” Drew squirmed on Josh’s lap. “I didn’t try to kill myself. I promise. It was nothing like that, regardless of what my parents seem to believe.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?” Drew leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Josh’s lips. “Are you for real? Most guys I know would have been out that door so fast it would make your head spin.”
Josh shrugged. “Then I guess I’m not most guys.”
“No, you’re definitely not.”
A soothing hand rubbed up and down Drew’s spine. He curled into Josh, enjoying his warmth.
“You want to tell me about it?”
Was he really going to tell Josh about this now? His lowest point? They hadn’t been dating very long….
“Okay, let me say again that I didn’t try to remove myself from the gene pool. My mom is delusional. Hell, my whole family. So, I told you Brian and I split up three years ago?” He sniffed. “Not that we were ever really together, according to him.”
Josh nodded.
“I-I was really foolish. Brian had been promising me that when we graduated he’d come out, and I naïvely believed him, thought all my patience was going to pay off. I was so smug.” Drew shifted in Josh’s lap until he straddled his thighs. “When he broke up with me, he didn’t just say we were over. That would have been devastating enough, but he felt the need to say some horrible, horrible things. Things I wouldn’t say to my worst enemy. I… I didn’t handle it very well.”
“I can imagine.”
“Can you?” Drew sighed. “You just seem to have it all together. You’re such a strong person, Joao.”
Josh shook his head, then opened his mouth, snapped it closed.
“You are, Josh. All the stuff you deal with being a cop. I could never do that.”
“Bem—”
“I’m better now, but I guess I wasn’t so strong then. I mean, I’d been with Brian for three years. The secrets, the spiteful things he used to say to me, the lies. Looking back, it was so obviously an abusive relationship—not physically, but definitely emotionally. Psychologically. When he left, I went to the liquor store, bought a fifth of cheap whiskey and some beers. I guess I drank it all. I don’t remember much until I woke up in the hospital.”
“Why would they think you tried to kill yourself? Lots of college kids end up with alcohol poisoning.”
“I guess I said a bunch of crazy things while drunk.” He rubbed his temples. “I’ve thought about it a
million times, but can’t remember a thing. When I started drinking, I wanted to get shitfaced, but I didn’t have a death wish or anything. I swear.”
“I believe you.”
“You do?”
“You don’t strike me as someone who would want to end his life.”
“No, not at all. That’s the thing. I’ve always loved life, but after that day, if my parents could have, they’d have wrapped me in cotton and kept me in a drawer. It’s awful.”
“So I saw.”
“I’d be better at setting boundaries with them, except I still feel so guilty about it all. I mean, I was a wreck. Not so much from the drinking. A few days and that passed, but the pain from the breakup went on for a long time. I let my family come in and take over. That’s on me. Now that I don’t need that, they don’t want to let go. And as angry as it makes me, I also feel guilty as shit for doing it to them in the first place.”
“I’m probably not the person to give you advice on getting along with family.” Josh hugged him and Drew melted.
“And that makes me feel guilty for even talking to you about this. My parents drive me crazy, but they love me. Even if they have a fucked-up way of showing it.” Drew buried his face in Josh’s neck, enjoying the smell of his soap on Josh’s skin. He could get used to that.
“Don’t feel guilty, bem. My parents made their choice.” Drew felt Josh shrug.
“You don’t have to pretend with me, Joao.” Drew leaned back so he could look Josh in the eye. “I know it hurts. I can see it in your face when you mention them.”
“Families are… difficult.”
Drew chuckled. “You sure have a way with understatement.”
Josh rested their foreheads together. “Why don’t I take you out? You didn’t eat much dinner.”
“This is supposed to be my show. I’ll take you out. We can go to the Silver Diner. I’ll order comfort food and you can try one of their homemade milk shakes smothered in whipped cream. It won’t be near as tasty as my mom’s dessert, but in a pinch it will do. And the company will be better.”
“Sounds good.”
“Then if you want, you can stay over.” Drew swallowed. Silly to be nervous now, but he was.
“Do you want me to?”
Ride Along Page 10