Luck was with him. Alex had barely gotten off the elevator when he saw Dr. Sears coming out of a patient’s room, a small entourage of residents and medical students following him. Alex hurried over to catch him before he disappeared into another room.
“Dr. Sears,” he called. “I need a minute of your time. We have a little problem.”
With a flick of the doctor’s head, the entourage drew back. “What’s wrong?” he asked Alex. “Is Miss Scott ill? Has she changed her mind?”
Alex shook his head. “She needs to see the kid.”
The doctor frowned and Alex could almost see him running to hide behind his rules and regulations. “That would be highly unusual, Mr. Rhinehart.”
“What about this case isn’t?” Alex snapped. “Look, she’s already met Kate. The kid orchestrated that, and she’s talked to her a couple of times on the phone. Fiona needs to see the kid for a few minutes before all this is over.”
There was a mulish look in the doctor’s eyes. “There’s a lot more involved here,” he said.
“It can be when Kate’s asleep,” Alex said. “It’s not like Fiona wants to talk to her. She needs to see her. Just see her.”
The entourage was getting restless and the doctor shot them a look that stopped them dead. He turned back to Alex. “All right. But late at night when Kate’s asleep. And no physical contact.”
“Fine.” Though Dr. Sears wasn’t exactly waiting around to hear Alex’s agreement.
Alex restrained his desire to shout a “Yes!” of victory and just hurried back to the elevators. The day was even more gorgeous than he remembered, he discovered when he got back outside. True, it was drizzling now and there was a definite chill in the air, but it put a certain briskness in his step.
At the corner near the apartment, a florist was setting out a sidewalk display of flowers. The daffodils looked especially springy; their bright yellow faces looked like miniature suns. He bought a couple of bunches of them. Not for any special reason; just that it seemed like a good idea. When he opened the apartment door, he heard Fiona in the kitchen and found himself smiling.
“I’m back,” he called out. “Anybody miss me?”
Fiona came to the kitchen door. “Hi.”
She looked like spring itself in her pink blouse and green slacks. Even the slight shadows under her eyes couldn’t hide the fact.
“You’re back quick—” She stopped as she saw the flowers, her face breaking into a smile that put the daffodils’ brightness to shame. “Oh, how pretty.”
“I thought so.” He handed them to her, suddenly feeling as self-conscious as a junior-high kid. “They made me buy them.”
She just laughed, burying her face in the bright yellow and taking a deep breath of the sweet spring scent. “Is that right, Mr. Honesty? And just how did they do that? Pull a gun on you?”
He felt his cheeks get hot. “They called to me,” he said.
“Uh-huh. In what language?”
“If you need to ask, you have no soul,” he said. “There are times you don’t need words to communicate.”
Her face suddenly grew as red as his felt. She was thinking of the times they’d embraced. The times when they hadn’t needed words to share their loneliness or fear, their excitement or their desire.
She turned away quickly. “I’ll put these in water, shall I?” she said.
“Yeah, great.”
He followed her into the kitchen. She looked to be almost done with her breakfast. “So, what do you want to do today?” A vision of the two of them locked in an embrace zipped into his mind, and he pushed it aside just as fast. Jeez, his mind was stuck on one track today. “The transplant is tomorrow. Want to do something special since it’s your last day here?”
She’d put the flowers in a tall glass and placed them in the center of the table. They definitely took second place when compared to her.
“I’d really just like to do some shopping,” she replied. “I want to get presents for everybody back home. You don’t have to come.”
He felt a moment’s disappointment. Didn’t she want him along? “I don’t mind,” he said. “Don’t you need somebody to carry packages?”
“So you’re offering your body up for service, is that it?”
“Any service you should desire, ma’am.”
He enjoyed the further blazing of her cheeks, and wished that he had the right to swoop her up into his arms; that tonight wasn’t going to be their last night here; that tomorrow she wasn’t going off for the transplant and then back to her life without him.
He was going to miss her, he realized with a shock. He was going to miss letting her lean on him. He was going to miss fighting her battles and watching out that she wasn’t taken advantage of. When had she gotten close to him? How had she slipped behind his defenses?
“I can’t believe the ten days are up,” he said.
“I know.” She poured the remains of her coffee into the sink and rinsed out the cup. “T-day is just about here.”
Jeez, how stupidly selfish he was! Here he was, thinking about how he was going to miss her, and she was worried about the transplant and whether or not it would work. It was a good thing this was just about over. He was no good in relationships.
“Bet you’ll be glad to have it over.”
She shrugged, her fears showing in every slight movement. “Yes and no.”
“No more calls from Kate,” he noted.
“No more being dragged by you through a million miles of museums, either.”
He wasn’t certain she was joking. “Just doing my job.”
She came over, as quiet as a summer breeze, and touched his cheek. It was like a kitten’s kiss—so soft that he could barely feel it on his skin although it sent rockets shooting through his heart.
“I was very lucky the Andrewses hired you,” she said. “You are a good man, Alex Rhinehart.”
Her words caressed his soul, setting it to trembling. His arms ached to hold her, his lips begged to kiss her. A fire smoldered in his loins that screamed to light an answering flame in her. Desire sent sparks into the air, seeking the kindling in her eyes. He just stared at her, not daring to breathe or move or even think.
One of two things was going to happen. Either he was going to sweep her into his arms and make mad, passionate love to her here on the kitchen floor. Or they were going to go shopping.
“I’ll get my purse,” she said, and turned away.
Slowly, he let the air out of his lungs. Shopping it was.
Fiona tried to pay attention. Alex had rented this movie because he had been sure she’d enjoy it, but she was having trouble keeping it all straight. And an even harder time pretending that she cared.
Everything was coming to an end. The waiting, the time here with Alex, the calls from Kate. She needed to let it all go and get used to being alone again.
“I think I’ll go to bed,” she said, although she knew that sleep was far away. “I’ve got a big day tomorrow.”
“Already?” Alex looked at his watch. “It’s only eleven.”
“Hey, that’s late for us small-town girls.”
“I thought we’d take a walk. You know, to help you sleep better.”
She wasn’t sure anything would help her do that, but Alex was trying so hard to look out for her. She just nodded. “That would be nice.”
So they went outside, bundled up against the suspected chill in the night air. Alex offered her his arm and she took it, leaning into his warmth as they started off into the night. It was dark, but only above them. The streetlamps threw circles of light over the sidewalks, and car lights chased away any lingering shadows.
“It’s a lot darker at home at night,” she said as they strolled down the sidewalk. Even at this hour, a reasonable number of people were out. “You can’t even see the stars here.”
“Too many lights competing for your attention,” he said.
“Sort of like life, isn’t it?” she said. “Little things
are always claiming your attention so that you lose sight of what’s really important.”
They swerved around a couple walking a dog and reached the intersection just as the Walk sign flashed on. They started across the street.
“Pretty deep thoughts for eleven at night,” he said.
She laughed. “Hey, I do my best thinking late at night.”
“I thought you said you did your best thinking at the swan pond.”
She looked at him. “Funny you should remember me saying that.”
“Why?” he asked. “I remember a lot of what you’ve said.”
“Part of the full service?” They were nearing the hospital. It loomed before them, the dark windows like eyes closed in sleep. But that was just pretense. Even though the front entrance was silent, sirens sang out from around back, warning that the place was still awake. “It’s just not what I expected you to do for your clients.”
“You aren’t one of my clients.”
Something touched her heart. Fear? Joy? Confusion? “Oh?”
“Technically, the Andrewses are my clients,” he explained. “But I consider you a friend.”
She liked the sound of that. “Thank you. I feel the same way.”
He tightened his hold on her arm as he headed them up the front steps of the hospital. “I thought we could visit here.”
It all came clear to her as if he’d written it out. He was taking her to see Kate. “Alex, we can’t,” she protested even as he pulled open the door for her. “Visiting hours are over.”
“So?”
She went inside, but only so that they wouldn’t be standing there with the door open, calling attention to themselves. “Alex,” she said. “We’re not. We can’t.”
“We can. We are.”
She came closer to him, feeling the empty lobby was filled with watching eyes. “Kate’s in isolation,” she whispered.
He shrugged. “They’ll bundle you up. Give you a mask and stuff.”
“It’s against the rules.”
“I got it approved.”
“How? By who?”
“By Dr. Sears,” he said. “Kate’ll be asleep, so it’s not like you can talk to her. But you can see her.”
It was the one thing she wanted to do, yet… “I don’t know,” she said with a sigh.
“You want to see your daughter, right?”
Fiona didn’t answer. She couldn’t answer.
“Fiona.”
He laid a hand on each shoulder, looking her in the eye. She didn’t remember seeing that piercing quality before.
“I’m not supposed to,” she replied. “I agreed to that.”
“You’ll just go up there. You’ll look in on her for a few minutes. Then we’ll come back and put you to bed.”
Oh, Lord. It sounded so easy.
She let him lead her across the lobby to the elevators where a security guard sat. She was sure he would turn them away. Or worse, hold them and notify the authorities.
But Alex just gave the young man some snappy patter that she couldn’t comprehend. After signing a register, he hurried her to a waiting elevator, where he pressed the button for seven.
It was the same floor where she’d met the doctor and the Andrewses not even three weeks ago. The same floor where she’d met Kate for those few precious minutes.
A nurse looked up from the nurses’ station when the door opened at the seventh floor. “Dr. Sears said you’d be here.” She came around the end of the counter, grabbing up a stack of plastic-wrapped packages. “This way.”
The nurse, whose badge said her name was Stella, grabbed Fiona’s arm and started leading her down the hall. Fiona looked back at Alex.
“Don’t worry about him,” the nurse said. “He’ll be here when we get back.”
She stopped at a door about halfway down the hall. A large yellow sign on the door proclaimed the patient therein to be in isolation. Fiona felt a quiver of concern run through her.
“Is this all right?” she whispered to the nurse.
“You got a cold?” she asked, handing Fiona the paper gown she’d pulled from a bag.
“No.” Fiona slipped her arms into it and tied it shut.
“Any contagious diseases?” She gave Fiona an elasticbound cap.
“Not that I know of.” She slipped it over her hair.
“You’re not going to hurt her any more than we do,” Stella said. She handed Fiona some paper booties. “Put these on.”
Fiona slipped them on over her sneakers, her hands shaking so that it took her two tries to get the second one on. “I don’t want to hurt her,” she said.
“Honey, you’re fine. You’re not hurting anybody.” She waited until Fiona had the booties on, then handed her a mask. “The nurses here, we all think you’re one special lady.”
Fiona stared at her as she pulled the mask over her mouth. “Why?”
“To give up your kid, then come back and pretend to be a stranger? Now, that takes real love. It ain’t everybody who could do that.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that.”
“You ready?” the nurse asked.
Fiona nodded, her heart going at a thousand beats a second.
The nurse pulled the door to Kate’s room open but Fiona stopped. “Won’t we wake her up? I don’t want to disturb her.”
The nurse shook her head. “She’s used to us coming in and out to check on her. She’s a sound sleeper.”
The nurse went in, gesturing for Fiona to follow her. The room was shadowy, but a soft light behind Kate’s bed illuminated it enough to see Kate and any monitoring instruments they might need.
The nurse beckoned Fiona in farther. Fiona stopped when she reached the foot of the bed, her vision blurred.
Images of a dark-haired girl danced before her eyes. A baby being baptized. A little girl standing at the edge of a swimming pool, begging to go in. A preschooler on her first pony ride. A pigtailed little girl running to throw herself into the arms of her parents.
So many pieces. Pieces that Fiona had never seen and could never touch. She was an outsider who could only guess at her child’s life.
Fiona felt a touch on her arm and saw the nurse there, gesturing that she would wait outside. Fiona nodded, her eyes filling with tears as she turned back to the bed. There on the nightstand was the book of Irish folk tales she’d given Kate.
“I’m so sorry about everything,” Fiona breathed into the night in a voice so soft that the angels couldn’t have heard it. “If this was all somehow my fault, I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I only wanted what was best for you. Alex says giving you up was, but I don’t know. I want to think I did right, but I just don’t know. It’s so hard not being the one to look after you.”
She took a deep breath and stepped back toward the door. “Take care, my darling,” she breathed. Then before she was blinded by tears, hurried out the door.
The nurse handed Fiona a tissue as she led her back down the hall. Barely able to see for the tears, Fiona stumbled to take off her mask and the cap. Then Alex was there to help her with the booties and gown.
“She’s so beautiful,” Fiona said, her voice all watery. “How could I give her up?”
“Because you loved her,” Alex replied. He pulled the gown off her arms, then took her into his embrace. “And you’ll give her up again because you love her even more now.”
Fiona just let his arms surround her, giving herself up to his strength. With slow, silent tears, she wept for Kate and her illness, for her own loneliness and pain, and for the goodbyes just ahead. Although the sorrow was there, somehow the fear and pain weren’t. It was as if Alex’s embrace could hold back some of the misery. Her tears slowed as she let peace claim her.
“You’re doing everything you can for her,” the nurse said, patting her back gently. “And you’ve given her a good, strong body. Those genes are what’s going to help her pull through. You’ve done a good job, Mama.”
“You’ve given a great piece o
f yourself to the world,” Alex said.
She had, hadn’t she?
Fiona fairly floated back to the apartment. “I can’t tell you how much it meant to me to see her,” she told Alex.
“I’m glad.”
“I never expected it.” The darkness seemed like a cloak of velvet, the streetlights like diamonds scattering their magic along the way. She wanted to dance and laugh and sing. “I just know it’s all going to work out.”
“Going to send all those positive vibes into your bone marrow?”
“It’s going to be chock full of them.”
She was almost sorry when they reached the apartment building. The rooms would seem too confining for her happiness. She was never going to be able to sleep now.
“Big day tomorrow,” Alex said as they went into the lobby.
“Yep.” The elevator came all too quickly and sped them upward. She needed a star to climb to, an ocean to swim.
Then they were in the silence of the apartment and there was nothing left to do but thank him again and go to bed. She stood in the apartment’s foyer as Alex closed and bolted the door.
“No one’s ever done something so wonderful for me,” she said when he turned.
“No big deal,” he said with a shrug.
“It was. It is,” she insisted. “It was the one thing that made this all bearable.”
She leaned over to brush his cheek with her lips. It was to be a quick thank-you, a chaste kiss that spoke of nothing but her gratitude. But then the faint scent of his after-shave closed around her and her chest brushed the strength of his arm and it felt like an earthquake rocked the world beneath her.
She pulled away slowly, trying to regain control of her wobbly senses, but her gaze met Alex’s and she forgot all about control. There was a fire in his eyes that promised warmth and magic and belonging. It called to her, pulling her closer and closer like a magnet. She licked her lips, then tried to laugh away the spell.
“I guess I should go to bed,” she said. Her voice was shaky, uncertain.
On Mother's Day (Great Expectations #1) Page 13