“Fiona’s already down in surgery.”
Alex looked up at the young nurse. “I was actually looking for her sisters.”
“In the visitors’ lounge around the corner.”
He thanked the nurse and hurried to the lounge. Cassie and Sam were seated in a far corner, murmuring to each other.
There was a strong physical resemblance among the three sisters. But according to Fiona, they had completely different personalities. He doubted that they were all that different, but he wouldn’t be around to find out. This business with Fiona was done. It was time to move on, even if his heart was having doubts.
“Hi, Alex.”
“It’s all set,” he told them. “You two can stay in the apartment tonight.”
“Great,” Cassie said.
“It’s only a couple of blocks from here. A steel-and-glass tower right on the drive. The address is 880 Lake Shore Drive.”
“Is it high up?”
“Can we see the lake?”
“Yes and yes,” he answered.
“Cool,” they chorused.
“Do you need me to show you where it is?” he asked.
“No, we can find it,” the athletic one said.
“Here’s the key.” Sam took it. “It’s 21B.”
“Thanks,” Samantha said.
“You’re welcome.” Alex turned toward the door. “Nice meeting both of you.”
They all stood there nodding. The silence hung heavy in the air around them. It was time for him to fly. “Well…”
“We’re going out for some breakfast,” Sam said. “Why don’t you join us?”
“I’m not much of a breakfast eater,” he replied. “If I don’t eat soon after I get up, I lose my appetite until lunchtime.”
“You mean you didn’t eat because Fiona couldn’t?” Cassie asked.
“You’re a sweet guy, Alex,” Sam said.
Her sincerity made him uneasy. “Actually I’m NutraSweet,” he joked. “That’s why I’m so slender.”
They just stared at him. It was time to go. He gave them a quick wave, then hurried down the hall to the elevators.
Once he was outside he considered hailing a cab; that would get him to his apartment the fastest. But then what? He didn’t have anything he was all that anxious to do. The bus or the elevated would do just as well. But neither interested him. He let his feet take him to the lakefront.
Alex crossed at the same crosswalk he and Fiona had taken to get to the hospital a few hours ago. Once he was across, he stepped to the edge of the breakwall and looked out over the lake. He took a deep breath and shook his head, trying to clear his mind.
Fiona was as good as gone. She was going to make her marrow donation, rest overnight, then head back home. Keeping her memory alive wasn’t going to make anyone happy.
Besides, he wasn’t that kind of guy. He wasn’t the type to look back. And Chicago was a big town. If too many memories of her lingered here on the city’s gold coast, then he’d have to stay away. Wait until all traces of her were gone. Blown away across the lake. Back to that Indiana-Michigan area where she belonged. And he belonged here.
He took another deep breath. It was a beautiful April day with a gentle breeze coming from the west. A good day for a walk, a long walk. Like north along the lakefront, up to Lincoln Park, and then across to his place.
He started off at a good pace, fast enough to work up a sweat. That’s what he needed—something physical to clear his body and mind of the past two weeks. Put him in the mood to jump back into his own life.
It was a good walk. He moved his feet and swung his arms. He checked out the action on the beaches while he dodged the bicyclers and skaters. His heart was pumping and he had a good sweat going. He flirted with the notion of going up to Foster Avenue. Hell, it was only another four miles.
But his feet slowed at Fullerton Avenue, just about where he’d planned to cut across the park—a path that he knew would take him along the north edge of the zoo, right by the lagoon where the swans lived.
Since he’d already slowed, Alex decided that he might as well slow down all the way and sit down. A little rest would do him good. Park here awhile and look out over the wide expanse of beach that stretched before him. And the water beyond that. He’d heard it was restful to watch waves like those that danced on Lake Michigan today. He leaned back and stared.
There were a zillion different ways to get to his apartment, any number of which would avoid the zoo entirely. But he couldn’t spend the rest of his life running. What was he to do? Leave? Move up to the Yukon or something?
It certainly wasn’t a surprise that Fiona’s memory clung to him so tenaciously. After all, they’d lived together, twenty-four hours a day, for the past two weeks. Hell, that was more togetherness than married couples had, what with jobs, different friends and hobbies. So she’d gotten engraved in his psyche. But that would pass. It had to.
Time was like the wind, eroding even the hardest rock. Things would get back to normal once he plunged back into his own life.
Of course, he shouldn’t just ignore her. It wasn’t like they’d had a spat. They were friends. And like any friend who was having an operation, she deserved a little something.
Like flowers?
Yeah, flowers were good. He could have some sent.
No, you didn’t just send flowers to a friend, not if she was a good friend. You delivered them yourself. And a sandwich in case she missed lunch.
“Hey, you got a visitor already,” the orderly said as he pushed Fiona back into her room.
She turned on her bed, trying to focus her bleary eyes on the figure in the chair. She felt all disconnected from the anesthetic, like the various parts of her weren’t plugged into the right sockets.
“You look beat.”
It was Alex’s voice. He stood and came over to the side of the bed.
“Nice talk,” she managed to say, although her words seemed slurred. Her eyes slipped closed again. “You gotta be honest all the time?”
“I should let you get some rest,” he said.
She got her eyes open somehow. “I’m okay. Just dopey. Give me a few minutes.” Those stupid eyes closed again.
He mumbled something that sounded like wanting to give her forever, then she thought she felt his lips on her forehead. But by the time she got her eyes to open again, he was gone. Cassie was sitting where Alex had been and Sam was looking out the window. Absurdly, she felt abandoned and close to tears.
“Hey, Sleeping Beauty’s awake,” Cassie said.
“’Bout time,” Sam said, coming over to the side of the bed. “How are you feeling?”
Lonesome. But Fiona just moved slightly in bed, testing out her limbs. “A little sore,” she said. “Not bad.” Had Alex even been there or had she just been dreaming?
“Where’d the flowers come from?” Sam asked.
“And the submarine sandwich?” Cassie added.
Fiona craned her neck to see the table next to the bed, discovering she was a little more sore than she’d thought. And discovering that the thought of Alex bringing her her sandwich and a gorgeous pot of tulips made the discomfort a lot less uncomfortable.
“Alex must have brought them,” Fiona said.
Sam’s eyebrows rose. “This sounds serious. Not just flowers, but food.”
“Good food,” Cassie said, unwrapping the sandwich and showing it to Fiona. “Want a bite?”
Fiona shook her head. “It was just a joke. Just part of his job.”
“Uh-huh.”
Cassie and Sam exchanged knowing glances; they didn’t believe her.
“It’s true,” she insisted. “He’s just a nice guy doing his job. There’s no big romance.” She pushed aside memories of last night.
“Sure.”
Fiona was getting annoyed. It was just like always. They never listened to her, never believed her. “I’m about as likely to see him once I leave here as I am—”
“To kick a hom
e run in kickball,” Cassie finished for her. “We know.”
“We always know,” Sam added.
Fiona just made a face at them, but a nurse coming in to check her blood pressure saved them from a scathing retort. They just didn’t understand the real world, she thought. They thought love was just out there waiting to be picked like a flower. They didn’t know just how rare it was; how you could look for it your whole life and never find it.
“Lookin’ good,” the nurse said. “Need anything for the discomfort?”
Fiona shook her head. “No, I’m fine.”
“Well, just call if you need anything.”
Once the nurse was gone, Fiona turned back to her sisters. “You guys don’t have to hang around here all day, you know.”
“That’s okay,” Samantha said. “We don’t have anything else to do.”
“You could go shopping,” Fiona replied.
Cassie made a face.
“The art museum isn’t too far,” Fiona said.
Her sister made another face, but not as bad as the one she made at the mention of shopping. Cassie hated shopping.
“I don’t think we’re in a museum mood,” Samantha said. “We’ll just stay here and bug you.”
They fell back into silence. Cassie turned on the TV, but even with that to stimulate conversation, it was a hospital room. And there was something about hospitals that seemed to suck the conversational juices out of people.
Of course, people in hospitals were usually sick and Fiona wasn’t at all. She was a little sore, but the residual of the anesthetic was wearing off, leaving her feeling restless and impatient. Like an animal in a too-small cage. Even the arrival of a fruit basket from the Andrewses didn’t seem to provide them with much to talk about.
“You know, you could go to dinner with us,” Cassie said as evening loomed over them.
“Yeah, I know,” Fiona replied. “But I’m not really hungry. And I’ve got my sandwich and all that fruit.”
“Your sandwich has to be all soggy by now,” Sam said.
Her sisters waited while Fiona hesitated. It wasn’t like she didn’t want to go out with them. She just didn’t want to go out with anyone. Well, that wasn’t exactly true.
“I don’t feel bad,” Fiona said. “But I don’t feel topnotch, either. You don’t want me along. I’d just be a drag.”
“We’ve never let that bother us before,” Cassie said.
“Thanks.” Fiona waved them away with a laugh. “Now I know that, I don’t want to go out with you.”
“Fiona,” Sam whined.
Jeez, now Sam was afraid they’d hurt her feelings. “Cassie,” Fiona said with a sigh. “Take your sister and go feed her.”
“Come on, Samantha,” Cassie said, pulling on Sam’s arm. “You know how she is when she gets stubborn.”
Samantha whined a little bit more, but it was more out of habit than conviction. Her sisters were gone within minutes, promising to bring back a treat.
Fiona waited until she couldn’t hear them anymore, then she dropped her head back on the pillow. It was time for her to go home. To return to her life. So why wasn’t she happy?
Chapter Nine
“Thank you,” Mrs. Andrews said the following morning. Her voice was. quiet and tight as she pressed a small something into Fiona’s hand. “We can’t ever thank you enough.”
“Let’s just hope it works,” Fiona replied. She glanced down to see the other woman had given her a wallet-size photograph album. Pictures of Kate! Fiona clutched it to her.
“It will, I’m sure of it.”
Mrs. Andrews pulled her into a hug as Fiona blinked back tears. This wasn’t the place for them—not here with Alex and Cassie and Samantha all watching her. Later, at home, there would be time for tears. Fiona pulled away slowly.
Keep in touch, please. The words lay flat in her mind. She wanted to ask the Andrewses to let her know how Kate was getting along, but the fear of being refused was too high a hurdle.
Mr. Andrews reached over to shake her hand. “We’ll let you know how she’s getting along,” he promised. “And our number’s in there.” He nodded at the small photograph album. “Call anytime.”
“Thank you,” Fiona whispered, her voice overwhelmed by her gratitude. She tightened her hold on the album, wanting to look at it now, wanting to study the pictures of Kate and embed every speck of her into her memory. But she didn’t dare. Not with everybody here.
“Well,” Mr. Andrews said. “We need to get going and I’m sure Fiona wants to get home.”
“Yes,” Fiona replied. “My cats miss me.”
“I’m not sure they do.”
“Thanks, Cassie.” Fiona grimaced and looked at the Andrewses. “The joys of having sisters.”
“We’ve kept you long enough,” Mrs. Andrews said. “Have a safe trip home.”
They were quickly gone, leaving Fiona standing alone near the door. She turned and found Alex’s eyes on her. The look was gentle and understanding. He knew what those pictures meant to her and how her hands itched to open the book.
“Well, is that it?” Cassie asked. “You free to go now?”
“Yeah, I guess.” Now that it was time, she wasn’t all that anxious to leave. It felt like part of her was about to be torn away.
“Let me take your bag.”
Alex picked it up from the bed while Cassie grabbed the fruit basket and Sam took Alex’s tulips. Fiona felt like a tagalong. She got her purse and just followed along after them with her precious little photo album.
Once out in the hall, Cassie and Sam hung back so that Fiona could walk next to Alex. She knew it was silly, just as Alex must know it, but they were both mature. They let her sisters play their little game and walked side by side.
“Bye, Fiona,” a nurse called out.
“Take care of yourself,” said another.
She kept a smile on her face and returned their best wishes, holding on tight to her lower lip until the elevator came. She hadn’t thought leaving was going to be so hard. She had to focus on Kate’s chances to be well, and on saying goodbye to Alex.
There were two orderlies with patients in wheelchairs on the elevator so the four of them had to squeeze in alongside the wall, with Fiona standing tight up against Alex. It brought up a whole wild array of memories that she should ignore. The hard feel of his body pressed against hers. The gentle touch of his hands when she was feeling blue. The fire in his eyes when they’d kissed.
But what good did it do to remember? She didn’t need to remind herself of all that she was leaving. Yet neither could she stop. It was as if she had to reopen all the wounds to see if they were healing. The elevator reached the ground floor and Fiona was flooded with relief.
Cassie exited-first when the door opened. “I’ll run and bring the car around,” she said. “You guys wait by the front door.”
“That’s all-”
“I’ll come with you,” Samantha said, stepping in on Fiona’s words.
Fiona sighed as she watched her sisters hurry off. “You wouldn’t know I was the oldest, would you?”
Alex just laughed and took her arm. “You probably were unbearably bossy when you were growing up and they need their chance for revenge.”
“I was never bossy,” she protested. “And somebody had to look out for us. Cassie would have led us all to reform school.”
“Sure.” His tone was mocking, but his voice was so gentle.
Regrets washed over her again and she took the time to flip through the photo album. Kate as a baby, as a toddler, as a grinning little schoolgirl. Getting her first haircut, wearing Halloween costumes, clutching a huge white cat. Fiona slammed the book shut, her control about as steady as a cobweb.
“Good stuff?” Alex asked.
She nodded and took a deep breath. “It was really nice of them to give me these.”
“They owe you a lot.”
“They don’t owe me anything. I did it for Kate, not them.”
They’d reached the front doors, and Alex stopped. “I have something for you, too,” he said and took a small box from his pocket. “I saw it when you were buying presents for your family the other day.”
She untied the ribbon and lifted the lid. Lying on a soft bed of cotton was a pin of a silver swan with a baby swan behind it. “Oh, Alex, it’s beautiful,” she said. More tears welled up in her eyes and she didn’t seem able to blink them into oblivion.
“Jeez, I’m like a sprinkler system today,” she said.
“It’s been a stressful time for you.”
“I’m usually better than this.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, willing her backbone to stiffen and the weepy faucet to turn off. The world stopped being blurry in a moment and then she took the brooch out of the box, pinning it to her blouse. It would remind her of both Alex and Kate, and this special time when they both belonged to her in a way. “It’s perfect. I’ll keep it forever.”
He just took her arm and led her out the door. Cassie wasn’t in sight yet. She was either thinking she was being considerate in giving them more time to say goodbye or seeing this as another chance to exact revenge for childhood grievances. Fiona felt the weepiness creeping back like vultures waiting to feed. Where was Cassie?
“You don’t have to wait,” Fiona said.
“No problem.”
No problem. Hear that, heart? Fiona asked herself. This was no problem for him. It should be no problem for her. She didn’t come into this expecting anything but goodbyes at the end. And he’d given her a whole lot. He’d made the whole thing bearable with his kindness and support.
“It was fun,” he said.
She nodded. “I enjoyed myself. Thanks for all your work.”
He took her hand and smiled. “It wasn’t really all that hard.”
She should pull her hand away; slip back into her shell and run for Indiana. But her treacherous hand didn’t move, no matter how loud her brain screamed.
Suddenly a car horn sounded right next to her and Fiona jumped so high that she scraped some clouds coming back down. Her sisters just sat there grinning.
“Come on, Alex,” Samantha said. “Are you going to kiss her or aren’t you?”
On Mother's Day (Great Expectations #1) Page 15