by Apryl Baker
Xavier blurred, and I blinked, seeing something shoot up in the air as my snowballs landed harmlessly against the trees on the edge of the property. I looked up and gaped. Xavier stood about thirty feet up in the air, humongous black leathery wings shooting out of his back. He laughed at my expression. Then bombarded me with snowballs. I barely had time to throw up a shield, before he’d dived and grabbed more snow.
“Flying is a foul,” I shouted as he flew over me, testing my shield with snowballs.
“Calling up the Elements is a foul!” he shouted back, the laugh in his voice evident.
I dropped my shields and used Air to target him with more snowballs. He dodged and dived down, catching me around the waist before I could throw the shield back up. I screeched like a girl when we flew up several hundred feet. I wrapped myself around him and hid my face in his neck, terrified. Flying without an airplane wrapped around me was another thing so not on my bucket list.
Xavier laughed, and sound vibrated through me. “I’m not going to let you fall, Rose.”
“I don’t want to be up this high!” I whisper-screamed.
“Shh,” he soothed. “Trust me. Just look. It’s beautiful.”
I peeked up and looked over his shoulder and gasped. The sun was starting to set over the lake, and the snow glinted in muted colors of pink and orange. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I’d seen some gorgeous sunsets in California, but they had nothing on this myriad of colors glinting off the snow.
Xavier pulled me closer, and I found myself snuggling into him. He made some kind of purring or humming noise, and I looked up at him, startled. “What’s that noise you make? I’ve heard you do it before.”
“It just means I’m content, happy.”
“I’m terrified,” I told him, holding on as tight as I could.
“Don’t be afraid, sweetheart,” he told me, his black eyes swirling with emotion. “I’m the one person who’ll never let you fall.”
“What if you’re what I’m afraid of?” I asked. “What if not letting me fall means killing me?”
He sighed and buried his face into my hair. His wings beat at the air around us, cocooning me in heat. “It won’t come to that. I believe in you.”
“But what if it does?”
“Then I’ll be glad I won’t be alive another minute without you.” His voice held sorrow and pain, but I could hear the sincerity in it. “You mean more to me than you can ever realize, Rose.”
Yeah, I could realize. That was the problem. Witches aren’t like normal humans. We feel things more deeply, are more in tune with nature. I understood what I was feeling, what he was feeling. I just didn’t want to admit it. I needed to process this, to think and analyze.
“Don’t analyze it, Rose,” Xavier said. “If you overthink this, you’ll twist yourself up like you always do. For once, just go with it.”
“Can you read my mind?” I asked, startled that he knew what I was thinking.
He chuckled. “It would be so much easier if I could, but no, Rose, I can’t read your mind. Your emotions, yes, but not your thoughts.”
“I’m just…I’m confused. I didn’t want any of this. I came here to make them all pay, and then you go and dump all this stuff on me, and I want to help you, I do, but Jenny…”
“Shh, Rose. You don’t need to make any decisions right now. Will you promise me one thing?”
“What?” I asked cautiously.
“Will you at least think about everything I told you today?”
“I can do that.”
“That’s all I’m asking.” His soft expression turned wicked. “Ready for some fun?”
My eyes widened, and I didn’t even have time to take a breath to scream before we were soaring across the mountaintops. I held on for dear life and closed my eyes, praying to anyone who could hear me to keep me from falling. Xavier laughed, the sound echoing around me. I must have been praying out loud. “It’s not funny!” I shouted.
His arms turned me around and held me in a strong grip. “Open your eyes, Rose. Feel the wind as it rushes you. It’s amazing.”
“No! I’m chicken!”
That earned a full body laugh. “Just look, Rose, before the sun completely sets.”
I cracked open an eye and then another. It took me a second for my eyes to adjust, but when I was able to fully look out over the landscape, I sighed in sheer joy. I only ever got this feeling when the Elements surrounded me, but this was as close to pure bliss as a person could come. It looked like a winter wonderland sparkling like diamonds in the dying rays of the sunlight. It truly was beautiful.
“See?” Xavier whispered against my ear. “Aren’t you glad you opened your eyes?”
I nodded. “It’s…I have no words, Xavier. This is…”
“I know,” he said. “Just relax and enjoy the ride, Rose. You’re safe with me.”
And I was. Xavier made me feel safer than anyone else, so I did what he asked. I relaxed and enjoyed the ride. I could worry about everything else later.
Chapter Seventeen
~ Jenny ~
January 24, 2013
Sebastian and I have been going out for a couple weeks and I don’t think his friends like me very much. I’m not the kind of girl he usually dates. I’m not supermodel gorgeous, but not I’m not ugly either. Their attitude pisses me off, but I try not to say anything or make a fuss about it. They’re his friends, have been his friends since before kindergarten. They look down on me though, and they stare at me with this disdain in their eyes. No one’s ever looked at me like that.
Mandy’s the worst. When Sebastian first introduced me to everyone, she flat out told him I wasn’t good enough for him with me standing right there! He kind of laughed it off, which upset me, but later he told me that she has issues with new people. Some kind of phobia he said and to not take it personally. How can you not take that personally? She looked at me like I was less than dirt. I mean, sure, my dad doesn’t make millions every year like hers does, but he makes decent money. I have everything that I need and I may not have diamonds coming out of every orifice of my body, but I’m just as good as she is!
It really bothered me that Sebastian didn’t defend me to his friends, that he laughed it off. I mean, I don’t want to cause trouble between them, but I’m his girlfriend. He’s supposed to take up for me, to tell them to stop acting like idiots and leave me alone. That’s what boyfriends do, but he didn’t. I’m not even sure he understands why I was so upset. He even got hateful with me when I tried to explain it to him and stormed off. He’s known them longer than me, but at the same time, I’M HIS GIRLFRIEND!
Then I feel really bad because Sebastian is so good to me. He’s sweet and kind and tells me how happy he is every day. I overlook a lot of his mood swings because of this. I mean, he can be hateful sometimes, especially when I get a little clingy. He doesn’t like that. He prefers a girlfriend who’s independent and doesn’t rely on him so much. We do spend a lot of time together, and he’s awesome usually, but sometimes, he can snap at me for no reason. I think I’ve shed more tears the last two weeks than I have in four years. I don’t like that. It shouldn’t be like this, but everyone tells me how lucky I am to have The Sebastian Caine as my boyfriend. And I feel like that most of the time.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m just being stupid. I want to talk to Mel, but I’m afraid she’ll tell me I am being stupid and to dump his ass. The fact that I’ve thought about that makes me wonder if maybe I should. I feel so confused. He makes me feel confused. One second he’s loveable and looks at me like I’m the only important thing in his universe, and in the next breath, he can tell me how stupid I’m acting or to stop being worthless and just do as I’m told.
Should I break up with him? I don’t know. It’s the softer side of him that makes me hesitate. It’s that side of him that I’m falling hard for. Maybe I’ll just give it a little time and see. Yeah, I’ll just wait for a little while and see if it gets better. He is Sebas
tian Caine and he’s normally really sweet to me. I can give him and us more time.
Chapter Eighteen
~ Feelings ~
It was full on dark by the time we reached the cabin, and I felt frozen solid. The sheer joy of the flight could almost make me forget everything Xavier had dumped on me earlier, but it did weigh heavily on my mind. How was I supposed to react? To deal with it all? My mind felt numb from the sheer daunting size of the responsibility he’d lain at my feet.
Xavier hustled me over to sit in front of the fire and threw a blanket around me before working to get the fire blazing again. He kept giving me furtive glances. The Fates only knew what kind of expression I wore. Xavier made us both hot chocolate before settling beside me. I sipped mine and stared into the flames, lost in thought.
Not only did I have to deal with the whole save the world thing – Wonder Woman, I was not – I also had to deal with Xavier himself. I understood what I was feeling, even if I shied away from admitting it. Just the thought of condemning his soul made me ache now that I’d accepted my feelings. Could I do that to him? Was my revenge more important than anything else? Earlier today I would have said yes, but right now? I wasn’t so sure, and it was tearing me apart.
“I know it’s a lot take in, Rose,” Xavier said. “Don’t try to make any decisions tonight. Just think it through. You’ll come to the right decision. I have faith in you.”
I sure was glad one of us had faith, because I didn’t. The need to make them pay for what they did to Jenny burned hot inside my soul. I wanted them to suffer, to hurt, to feel the pain my sister had felt in the weeks leading up to her death. If that made me a black witch, so be it. Those who deserved it would pay for her death, and even if I couldn’t kill them, they would suffer.
“What if I don’t kill them?” I asked, staring into the flames. “What if I just make them…hurt?”
Xavier sighed. “You and I both know magic is all about intent. If you perform magic with the intent to harm, then it becomes dark magic. It’s the same thing they did to your sister.”
Dammit.
My head hurt.
Xavier took the cup out of my hand and set it down in front of the fireplace, before taking both my hands in his. “It’s okay to feel the way you do, Melinda Rose. I’d be more afraid if you didn’t feel like this, but you know deep down, this is wrong. Your father raised you right, and when the time comes, you won’t go through with it.”
He sounded so sure. Why couldn’t I be that sure of myself?
“My Rose, you always overthink things,” he said and shook his head.
“I’m not your Rose,” I said, trying to pull my hands from his. I still hadn’t recovered from his earlier reaction to our kiss. He made me feel things no one else ever had, ever would, but he’d responded badly.
Instead of letting me go, he pulled on my hands, and I tumbled forward into him. “Not so fast, Rose. We still have things to talk about.”
“We do?” I asked, my voice a little more breathless than I liked. My eyes focused on his lips. Why did he have to have such gorgeous, well sculpted lips? They were made for kissing.
“Umm-hmm,” he whispered, “I need to apologize.”
“For what?” I looked up, surprised. His black eyes burned with an intense desire that made me try to scoot back, but he held tight, one hand wrapping around me so I couldn’t wiggle free.
“I freaked out when you kissed me…”
“You kissed me!” I interrupted. I knew without a doubt he was going to kiss me again, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to or not. I was already in the deep end, no need to drown if I could help it.
He gave me that crooked smile that sent my heartbeat into warp speed five. “When I kissed you, I freaked out. I don’t want you to remember that every time you think of our first kiss.”
“That’s the only kiss we’ll have.” I tried to pull away, and his arms became an iron cage around me. I didn’t feel threatened. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me physically, but that wasn’t what spooked me. This boy…this Gargoyle could tear my heart to shreds, and that was what terrified me.
“Rose, Rose, Rose,” he murmured, his lips ghosting across my jaw. I shuddered at the light touch. “My strong, beautiful Rose in winter…” His lips traveled up my jawline and caught the sensitive skin of my earlobe between his teeth. I gasped at the sensation that rocked through me. “I’m going to kiss you again…and again…many, many more times.”
His lips settled on mine, and I couldn’t stop the whimper that escaped. He felt like water to my parched lips. They’d ached for this all day. That deep, burning flame raced through my veins, the desire consuming me, and I was lost to the feel of his lips moving against mine. I felt my back hit the floor, but paid it no mind. My tongue decided to dance with his, and I arched into him, needing him closer. That strange, humming/purring noise vibrated around me, and I sighed. I could taste him all day and never grow tired of it. My hands tangled in his hair, pulling him as close as I could get.
Everything shattered. I knew there was no turning back from Xavier. It was a simple truth. I fell harder than all the crushed hearts of every girl I knew combined over Star Crossed getting cancelled on the CW. This was bad, very, very bad, but I didn’t care anymore. No matter what happened over the next few days, in this moment, I let myself fall and enjoy it.
When Xavier pulled away, we were both panting. He stared down into my eyes, and I flushed. His eyes were intense, and it made me all kinds of crazy. In this moment, if he pushed, I wouldn’t fight it. That’s how much he affected me. And I just didn’t care.
“Rose, the things you do to me,” he murmured. I could see the war with himself in his eyes. He wanted me as badly as I wanted him. I reached up and ran my fingers down his face in a caress and attempted to pull him back to me. He groaned and gently pushed my hand away. “No, Rose, not now. I don’t want you to regret it later.”
I almost snarled at him, I felt so frustrated. He chuckled at my expression, but pushed himself up. His knees straddled my upper thighs, and it was my turn to groan at the sight of him above me. Damn, but he was beautiful. Monster or not, Xavier was sheer beauty in its truest form.
“Come on, my greedy little Rose, time to get you home, or your grandmother will have my head.” He stood and then reached a hand down to me. I stared up at him mutinously. I wanted him back here with me, not herding me home. I’d gone from declaring I wanted nothing to do with him to virtually needing to feel his skin against mine to a degree of obsession. Stupid Elements. Why did they have to choose now to do this to me?
With a frustrated sigh, I let him pull me up. “Can I have my phone back now?”
He pulled it out of his back pocket and tossed it to me while he collected our coats. I did a quick skim and saw several texts from Jeff and one from my Dad. I opened that one and nearly groaned out loud. He said he’d booked a flight for Friday night, and he’d see me Saturday morning. Whatever I was going to do, it had to be done in the next few days. Once Dad got here, all bets were off. He’d stop me faster than even Xavier would. Xavier was giving me a choice to do the right thing, but Dad would take that choice away from me. What was I supposed to do?
The ride back to Gran’s was quiet, but it was a nice quiet. Xavier and I were both lost in our thoughts. At least I didn’t have a small heart attack on the back of the bike this time. Blessing in and of itself. My simple plan had gone out the window the moment I’d seen Xavier that first day at the airport. The guilt he’d made me feel then had started to eat away at me. He was right. Deep down I knew that murdering them all was wrong, but what other choice did I have? How could I get justice for my sister? The police would laugh at me if told them what really happened, or worse, think I was having issues adjusting to my sister’s death and force a shrink upon me. In the world of witchcraft, humans who dealt in magic weren’t treated the same as witches. They’d get by with a slap on the wrist from the Council. How could I make them pay if my hands were tied so effect
ively?
When we pulled to a stop in front of my house, I sat there for a moment, not wanting to go in. Once I went inside, today would be gone, and I’d need to deal with everything. I wanted to relish the emotions of the last few hours, to enjoy that small happiness. Xavier turned off the bike and set the kickstand before getting off the motorcycle and turning to face me.
“Ready, Rose?” he asked softly.
“No,” I answered honestly. “Today…”
“Was rough,” he finished for me. “You’ll get through it. You’re stronger than you think.”
“I’m afraid,” I admitted. “I’m afraid I’m not the girl you think I am.”
He smiled that cocky smile of his. “Then if I end up with a black soul, at least I can behave as badly as I want to.”
“That’s not funny!” I yelled, furious he could make light of the situation. He’d terrified me, thrust all this responsibility for his soul on me, and he was making jokes about it?
“Rose…”
“No! Don’t Rose me. How can you joke about your soul? Don’t you know how hard this is for me? You’re making me choose between my sister and you and all the rest of humanity!”
Next thing I knew, Xavier hauled me off the bike and I was wrapped in his arms. “Shhh, Rose, it’s okay. I’m sorry.”
“Just…don’t do that again,” I said, drinking in the warm, earthy smell of him.
“I won’t, I swear it.”
I pushed him away and took a deep breath. He tried to pull me back, but I took two steps backward. I couldn’t think around Xavier, and I needed a clear head to make some very hard decisions. “No,” I said. “I want you to leave now, Xavier.”
His eyes narrowed. “Rose, if you think for a second I’m going to let you pretend today didn’t happen…”
“How can I pretend today didn’t happen?” I laughed harshly. “You’ve just saddled me with saving humanity and freeing the Gargoyles from slavery.”